New York Crime Kings Box Set: Books 1-4 (16 page)

I climb off the bed and grab a new shirt from the bag beside my bed. “You keep that and whatever I make from here on I’ll keep for myself. Sound fair?”

His cobalt irises burn through me, but they fail to intimidate. My whole life I’ve fought for myself. All the money I’ve made, however little, is money I’ve made on my own. No handouts. Being way out of my comfort zone doesn’t change anything. I help myself. I always have.

With a defeated exhale, Jai stuffs the money into his pocket. “Sounds fair.”

Flinging the shirt over my shoulder, I tuck the sock full of goodies underneath my arm and step around Jai.

Oh! Before I go
, “What’d you need the ten grand for anyway?”

He turns around, a curious expression lighting his features. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with my plan?”

I shrug, toying nervously with the hem of my shirt. “Paint me curious.”

“If you insist.” He glances over my shoulder before leaning closer, lowering his voice. “I setup a payment with one of Skull’s goons. I give him ten grand and he answers one simple question.”

“What question is that?”

Jai swallows and this time he’s unable to hide the pain flashing through his eyes. “Whether or not my brother is alive.”

Oh…
“Sorry I ruined that for you.”

He offers me a tight smile. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think he was going to tell me anyway. Skull’s people can’t be trusted. Spending the money on you instead, probably saved my life.”

An awkward silence fills the room. I guess we’ll never know what might’ve happened if I’d never followed him from the train.

“Do you have a new plan?” I ask. “What are you going to do now?”

It usually takes a lot to scare me—and words never have—but the next five that fall from Jai’s lips terrify me beyond anything I’ve ever felt. His stare drops to the small skull tattoo on my collarbone—the one that matches his—and he says.

“Now I have you, Kitten.”

Anxiety

Jai

Her face says it all. For the briefest moment blatant fear etches its way across her features and the air surrounding us turns stale—even more than it already is. It’s no secret that Skull scares the shit out of Emily, and maybe it’s not the smartest idea putting someone as easily scared as her in Skull’s path. I wish it was someone else, but it’s not. She’s the only one who can help. She’s in the ideal position to help me get information about my brother. At the same time, however, I gotta watch what I tell her about my plan until I’m certain she can be trusted. Skull might know the details of everyone down here, but he doesn’t know my plan—my intent—and I can’t afford for him to learn it before I’m ready.

“I’m not capable of much...I can’t go up against Skull, Jai.”

The worry that cradles my name as she says it twists my stomach. I don’t want to ask such a dangerous thing of her—of anybody. This is
my
plan,
my
problem, but unfortunately, it hasn’t exactly panned out the way I originally intended it to. As much as it kills me to say it, I’m stuck, and it’s driving me mad. I swear I’m a few days away from doing the world a favor by shooting Skull in the face as he leans over his usual railing above the cage...but then I’d never learn the whereabouts of Joel. And I need him. Whatever is left of our family needs him.

“All I need is Skull to tell you where my brother is. That’s all. If you can get that out of him without arousing suspicion, you’re done. I’ll get you out of here.”

Sad slopes curve her eyebrows and slant her eyes. I frown as the sadness dulls her skin and reaches her lips. “I know you want your brother to be alive and well, but what if he—”

“Don’t even say it. He’s not dead, Emily. I know it.”

She purses her sweet, pink lips and nods. Sympathy. I fucking hate it. Joel isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. There’s just no way. I refuse to let Skull take
two
siblings from me. First, my sister and now my brother?
No
. A sharp pain in my chest almost cripples me and Emily notices as my shoulders drop an inch. She reaches out to me, her palms exposed.

“Jai? Are you alright?”

My ribcage tightens, compressing my lungs and making it difficult to breathe.
What the fuck is happening?
The sharp lines of my world blur, churning my stomach along with it. As I take a step back, Emily takes a step forward. She’s cornering me, caging me. She’s breathing in all of the air! Using it up!

“Jai?”

My back hits the wall and I clench my chest as I slump against it. Everything is small and getting smaller. I can’t do this. I can’t do anything!

“You’re having a panic attack,” she says in a sweet reassuring tone, her thin arms still outstretched. “I need you to calm your breathing. Everything is okay.”

I don’t need talking and I don’t need reassurance. I need space. I need to be alone. I don’t want her to see me like this.

“Go!” I snap and she jumps back.

“No. Not when you need hel—”

I grit my teeth, letting the next few words grind out. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help!”

I don’t have time to let her flinch send me on a guilt trip. Instead, I slide down the wall, the concrete lifting my shirt and digging into my skin. It cuts me, but I feel no pain. Only release.

Only peace.

By the time my ass connects with the floor, she’s gone and I’m all alone.

Story of my fucking life.

Bending my legs, I drop my head onto my knees. I wondered when the stress of it all was going to catch up with me. I’ve noticed bits of me cracking lately—yesterday my anger with Emily and now this? What’s next?

They weren’t kidding when they said revenge is cancerous. It’s wearing me down by the minute and I know it’s not healthy, but I can’t let this go. I can’t let
him
go. I need Joel because I can’t do it anymore.
I can’t.

Two years ago I set upon my road to revenge when Joel disappeared and left me to look after Jessica, our sixteen year old sister. Growing up, home life was perfect. We were a real family, a family who loved each other and looked out for each other. Then, one night, it all fell to shit. Jacqueline, my eldest sister, was never a ‘right side of the tracks kind of girl’. She lived fast, but partied harder, and it all caught up with her eventually.

There was an abandoned complex on the other side of the town we grew up in. It was a known spot for raves and parties, and most of them were allowed to rage through the night if you paid the officials the right amount of cash. The majority of the families in our town were loaded, so the ‘right’ amount of cash was always exactly that.

Right.

Jacqueline was a known party girl. She knew which booze was best, which cigarettes were the smoothest and which drugs made you feel invincible for the longest. She also knew calculus as well as ancient history, and could win any debate you engaged her in...but those things never won over a good time, and that’s all Jacqueline wanted.

Once she hit twenty-one, my parents gave up on her. They stopped lecturing her and started ignoring her instead. They still loved her whole-heartedly, but they were just tired of it. They wanted her to learn for herself and she didn’t mind it; in fact, she preferred it.

I still remember the night it all turned to shit. I was sixteen and lying on the living room floor watching a re-run of Dragon Ball Z after spending the afternoon at my kick boxing class. Goku was in the middle of a Kamehameha when Mom got the phone call.

Her breath hitched. That’s what caught my attention. I rolled onto my stomach and watched her. Her face, usually smooth and youthful, was contorted into a look of horror that penetrated me right to my intestines. Her usual wavy black hair suddenly seemed flatter and the vibrant blue in her eyes darkened as they became wet with tears.

“I don’t understand.”

Her eyes were on me, but she wasn’t looking at me.

“Overdose?” The tears spilled. “Are you sure it’s my Jackie?”

A second later she dropped the phone. The handset crashed to the floor and she screeched for my father to grab the car keys. Joel appeared first, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Stop screaming, Ma. You didn’t miss this month’s issue of Cosmo. I saw it on the shelves when I went to the gas station this morning.”

Mom turned to Joel, her long, blue skirt swishing around her feet.

When he saw her puffy eyes and messy hair, his demeanor changed from tired to alert. “Mom?”

“I need you to watch Jai and Jessica.”

Towering over her, he reached out and gripped her shoulders. I watched, confused, as Mom’s tiny frame trembled. She spoke in a low tone, a tone I couldn’t hear over Goku’s ‘powering up’ sound effects, and it wasn’t until I saw Joel’s heartbreak in his dark, chocolate eyes that I realized something was horribly wrong.

“What is it?” Dad asked as he slipped into the room, keys in hand. He straightened his tan sweater, adjusting the collar until it sat flush against the back of his neck.

Mom pulled away from Joel who’d dropped his stare to the floor. There was a vacant look on his face and I didn’t like it. Not at all.

“It’s Jacqueline.” She managed to squeeze out before sobs overwhelmed her. “She’s in hospital.”

Everything was a blur after that. I remember Joel cooking Macaroni Cheese dinners for me and Jessica, who was only eleven at the time. I remember him trying desperately to be positive, doing everything with a forced smile, but it didn’t matter because I could feel his distress. It was eleven p.m. when the phone rang again. Jessica was fast asleep, but Joel and I sat in the lounge, watching a movie without actually watching a movie. He answered quickly, his fist clenched at his side. “Hello?”

His brows were furrowed as he listened intently. When they curved out and his bottom lip began to tremble, I knew it wasn’t the phone call he was expecting—that I was praying for. He didn’t speak. For five long, torturous minutes he didn’t make a sound. When he finally did, he exploded. I jumped out of my seat, my heart slamming into my chest as he leaped from his chair and tore the phone out of its socket. The armchair he was sitting on was next to go. I hid against the wall by the bookcase as he smashed frames, broke ornaments and tore books in half. Tears welled in my eyes and I didn’t know what to do. So I watched. And it was fucking
painful
. I always looked up to my brother. He was my idol; the strongest man I knew, and there he was, breaking in front of me. I didn’t think it was possible, but it seems even the strongest people can break like glass.

When the living room was in shambles and Joel was a still mass in the center of it all, I finally asked; “What is it?”

“Jacqueline’s...dead.” He simply said.

I swallowed hard, suppressing the sharp pain in my chest.

“And Mom and Dad—” his voice broke and my lips began to tremble. “Mom and Dad crashed their car on the way there. They—”

Joel sobbed, cradling his head in his hands. My heart bled, my lungs tightened. Tears began to wet my cheeks one after the other as my knees buckled. I could feel my world deteriorating by the second, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

At some point, my ass hit the floor and Joel finally lifted his head. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy, much like mine. It didn’t matter if he finished what he wanted to say or not. I knew the answer. I was already crying.

“None of them made it, Jai. It’s just us three.”

And it was.

Since Joel was old enough, he took care of my younger sister and me. For years he stepped in as our care-giver and didn’t complain. Not even once. I admired my older brother long before the events that claimed the lives of three of my family members, but the day he stepped up and put his life on hold for Jessica and me...well, there are no words. He wasn’t always happy, however. I could see it in the way his stare drowned in his black coffee every morning. You see, he had an unhealthy obsession with tracking down whoever had sold Jacqueline the drugs. It ate him up, consumed him from the inside out. For ten months he launched his own investigation into Jacqueline’s death and had, eventually, tracked down the dealer. Later, Joel told me the man who’d given Jacqueline the drugs was extremely hard to find. Everyone had refused to talk about him. They were too terrified to drop his name, but that didn’t stop Joel. After asking the right questions and following the right leads, he had found the dealer; and when he found the dealer, his course of action had changed. He’d begun with hours and hours of computer research, followed by mixed martial arts classes. Whenever he wasn’t training he was eating and sleeping. In a few short months he’d transformed himself completely. His slightly doughy frame had become lean, cut and fucking terrifying. It was inspiring.

By the time Joel disappeared, I was out of high school and was able to look after Jessica on my own. For two years I was her parental figure. For two torturous years I dealt with her, while she blamed me for everything, but that’s not what drove me to the edge of insanity. She started staying out late, partying, drinking—following the shady path Jacqueline did. I was losing my mind and I needed help. I needed Joel’s help. So, one fateful night, I broke into his files and found all of his research—discovered his obsession with a man named ‘Skull’. According to Joel, Skull was responsible for Jacqueline’s death. He gave her the drug that ended it all. It was a ‘trial’ on a new drug he was working on. The drug was laced with a million and one different chemicals—chemicals I couldn’t even begin to pronounce. Combined, it was too much for her small body and it killed her.

Once he had a name, there was no stopping Joel. He wanted to kill Skull, and the only way to do that was to join his little underground club. Of course, not just anybody could show up. He had to climb the ranks in the underground circuit to gain attention. Once he achieved that, Skull invited him to his secret underground ring and that was it. Once you’re in. You’re in.

For two years I trained. For two years I fought my ass off, and looked after my younger sister. I won’t let it be for nothing.

Now I’m here.

Now Joel’s obsession is my obsession.

And nothing will deter me from my goal.