New Title 4 (14 page)

Gloria threw the sheets aside and jumped out of the bed. This was her bedroom in her apartment and a quick check showed that everything was exactly as it should have been.

Oh no way, she said. She backed away, staring at the rumpled sheets, the thrown-aside comforter, and Caleb s naked body among it all. Her first instinct was to look away like she didn t have any right to see him like this, except that was ridiculous. She d been seeing him naked for the last fifteen minutes. In fact, she had been doing a lot more than just looking.

But she hadn t. Just a few seconds earlier she d been standing at the front door explaining exactly why this was not going to happen. She looked down at herself and her complete lack of clothing and wondered whether or not she should try covering herself up.

Caleb jumped up, too, and he seemed to have the same confusion over whether or not it was appropriate for her to see him like this. Oh my god, I swear I didn t do anything. Really. Or at least um I did but I didn t.

We did, Gloria said. The new memories of a new reality swam up clearly in her memory. It didn t make complete sense, but she remembered how after she had pulled her hand away from Caleb in the café they had hurried back here. The sexual tension had been too great, and they d had to act on it. Except that hadn t happened at all. It all made her very, very dizzy.

Oh holy crap we did, Caleb said. He put his head in his hands for a second. He swayed a little where he stood, and Gloria realized she wasn t alone in being dizzy. The change this time had affected them more than the last two. When he looked back up at her there was a grin trying to pull at the edge of his lips. And it was amazing, too.

Gloria looked at him as she tried to sort through the dual memories. Maybe it was her disorientation or maybe it was anger at the unexpected and unwelcome change, but she couldn t make herself lie at the moment. No, not really.

Wait, what the hell do you mean? That was Hold on for a second and focus, alright? She couldn t look at him anymore. This wasn t his fault at all, and despite the fact that he hadn t been that good she had still enjoyed it. But that didn t change the fact that she hadn t wanted this to happen at first. She had wanted to take her time. And now she wanted someone to blame. She stooped down and started rooting through her clothes on the floor. It was the cube. It had to be.
But it couldn t be, Caleb said. He stared at her for a moment then started looking around the room. Neither of us touched it, right? Unless it somehow got twisted or turned when you set the garbage bag down?
No, even if that were likely it would have happened as soon as I set it down. Except I set it down like a minute before the change happened.
Or I guess technically you set it down earlier than that. It would have been before we started um you know. Where did you put the bag down? She almost said it obviously had to still be in front of the door outside, but that wouldn t be true anymore. She searched through her fuzzy halfformed memories and tried to remember. In her new memories she hadn t been thinking too much about the bag. Instead she had been more intent on getting Caleb s clothes off. She blushed, but it wasn t an unpleasant memory. Just one she wasn t supposed to have.
Um, maybe I set it down when we came in the door?
Caleb tried to rush out of her bedroom while putting his boxer shorts on at the same time and almost tripped himself. Gloria at least waited until she had her underwear and bra back on before trying to follow him. In the living room she found Caleb hunched down next to the garbage bag, exactly where she had dropped it next to the door. He stared into it for a second without saying anything.
Well? Gloria asked.
Shit, he said. Shit, shit, shit!
What? What is it?
I should have checked! I should have fucking checked! He stood up and flung the bag around to spill all its contents on the floor. There weren t any lights on in the living room, only ambient light from the street lights outside coming in through the windows, so Gloria couldn t see much of it. But everything had been there. She had checked twice earlier.
I don t get it. Whatever you re seeing, it s too dark for me to tell, she said as she walked over to the nearest lamp.
But that s just it, Caleb said as she turned on the light. You couldn t see. See this? He stooped down and grabbed one of the items, the plastic baggy full of doughnut crumbs. The doughnut crumbs are supposed to be mystical. The doughnut they belonged to was made in a bakery built on an ancient Indian burial ground. They glow. Or at least they re supposed to.
Gloria stared at the bag, then looked down at all the other items scattered all over her floor. Oh. Aw crap. She stooped down next to them and gave them a closer look. Of course she didn t know what most of the items were supposed to look like. A few she had heard stories about and one or two she had actually seen during her time at the OneStop. She grabbed the Omega Sword and held it up for closer inspection. There was an inscription on the blade, instructions on how to use it to take over the world. But the words were rough around the edges, like someone had taken a previously existing sword and attempted to etch the words in. When she looked at where the hilt met the blade she could see something else, some mark that wasn t supposed to be there, but she had to hold it closer to the light to see it clearly. In very tiny words it said Made in China.
They re not real, she said. None of them?
Doesn t look like it, Caleb said. He grabbed the Rubik s Cube and gave it a few twists. Gloria instinctively cringed, but she knew what to expect. Caleb lined up colors together several times, but nothing happened. Gloria in turn grabbed a six inch by six inch lead lined box and undid the clasp. When she opened it she should have become entranced by the thing inside, a thing that was supposed to kill her if she looked at it for too long. Instead all that was inside was a piece of a pink boa. It may have been a pretty pink thing, but it wasn t the Pretty Pink Thing.
They were playing us as suckers, Gloria said. Those damned cyborgs were just acting as decoys.
We re completely screwed, Caleb said. Gloria stood back up and started to pace around the pile of fake artifacts. She should have checked closer. If she had just taken a closer look at the sword when she d caught up with the cyborgs then she would have known and they could have continued looking. But now valuable time had been lost. While she and Caleb had been off finishing their date Tuffy and Fluffy had gotten farther away with the real artifacts. They could be anywhere now. Anywhere at all.
Or at least they could be at the moment. Later, however, she thought she knew exactly where they would be.
Leechman Park at three a.m. she said. Caleb looked up at her. What?
I didn t mention it before because I didn t think it mattered anymore. But Fido, the leader of the Senator Park Lunatics, she said that someone called her earlier. That someone said he had things to sell that could give people a lot of power, or something like that. He said she should meet him at Leechman Park at three a.m.
He? It was a guy?
Yeah, but we couldn t be sure if it was Muffy or not. Tuffy killed him before he could say anything.
Why would she kill him?
My guess is maybe he was about to tell us that these were all fakes.
So Fluffy and Tuffy, we know where they re going to be but not exactly what they re planning on doing. This Fido, did she say she was going to buy it?
I don t know. Fido s got some leverage on the Hill, but there are others with more power and more money. So what do you want to bet that she wasn t the only one who was offered a deal?
No, I don t think I ll take that bet, Caleb said. What time is it now?
I don t know, Gloria said. She ran to the nearest clock in the kitchen then came back. 12:25
We ve got about two and a half hours then. Time to prepare.
Prepare for what? Gloria asked. We still don t know exactly what they have planned.
Nope, but if we just grab everything we ve got we can get to Leechman s Park and start scoping it out.
We should talk to Phil first, Gloria said. See if he found anything out.
We ll just call the store, Caleb said. But I don t think he ll have anything to tell us. He would have called already otherwise.
Either way, Gloria said, we need to get ready and get moving.
They both went back into the bedroom for their clothes. Caleb immediately started rounding up everything they had scattered in their haste to get to the bed, but Gloria stopped for a moment and looked at the bed. Caleb saw her staring and stopped what he was doing. He approached her hesitantly but still kept some distance.
So um I suppose we should talk about this, he said.
She supposed so as well, but she didn t have the first clue what to say. The last twenty minutes or so had been rewritten in a way she had not wanted, and she hated that someone had done that to her. But it wasn t at all like the experience had been bad. Caleb sure as hell wasn t the greatest of lovers but But Caleb had been her lover. One way or another, she had willingly taken him into her bed. Now she just had to figure out if that was really what she wanted in the future.
I m sorry, Caleb said.
You have nothing to apologize for, Gloria said. I wanted it to happen, but I wanted to wait at the same time. This doesn t change anything, do you hear? We re going to pretend like it didn t happen and reality went on exactly as we had originally planned.
Caleb didn t look entirely happy with that, but he hadn t looked happy either when she had said she wanted to wait while they were at the front door. But to his credit, and completely against his nature, he didn t say anything. He just nodded.
Okay, then let s get going, Gloria said. She gathered up her own clothing and then sat on the bed as Caleb reached into his pants pockets and pulled out his cell phone.
Oh, I forgot about that, Caleb said.
What? Gloria asked.
I turned off my phone after you called because I didn t want us to be disturbed at the Squamous Nightmare. He pressed a button and it came on. Oh crap. I ve got a message from Phil
Gloria finished dressing as he listened. The look on his face as he heard the message was enough to tell her that they needed to get the OneStop immediately.

Phil backpedaled away from Sue as her arms came up and reached for him. She took another step towards him, but it was hesitant and shaky. He could tell she was trying to resist whatever Lucas was doing to her, but she wasn t strong enough.

Braaaaaiiins! she said again. He moved away faster, suddenly thankful for the first time for her slow movements. He hadn t been kidding when he had said she could do nasty things when she was motivated. He d once seen her crush the skull of a demon and scoop his gray matter out all because Caleb had told her Phil would go out with her if she did. Phil wanted to tell her that if she ate his brains now then the dates would stop, but something told him that wouldn t help much.

Phil backed into the deli case and looked around for anything that might be able to help him. The two customers stood where they had been earlier, still staring at the scene. The guy with the now-vanished girlfriend seemed just as stoned as she had been, and Phil didn t think he was going to be of much help. The short one, although not quite as short as before, was once again paying attention, and he at least had the sense to look worried. He held a bag of Lays in front of him as though it was a shield and he slowly backed down the aisle. Not much help from him either, apparently.

Lucas didn t stop playing the flute, and from what little attention Phil was able to give him he appeared to be struggling. Maybe he didn t have all that much practice with the instrument or maybe he had to concentrate on what he wanted Sue to do at the same time. Either way, if the slight slip-up in the song made him lose some of the control over Sue like it had a few seconds ago, then maybe that was where Phil should be concentrating his own efforts.

He ran to his right, past the nacho bar and the Froztee machine to get around the counter. Sue followed, moving slower than normal, as he ducked down below the counter to get his duffel bag. He unzipped it quickly and accidently sent a shower of stakes and books and various small magical warding devices flying everywhere. There was nothing inside, however, to hold off a zombie. He d kept such things with him once upon a time, but ever since he had started seeing Sue that had just seemed wrong. There were a couple of silver stakes for werewolves, though, and he grabbed one of these and stood up. Sue had stopped just short of following him behind the counter, her body still shaking as what she wanted to do apparently conflicted with what she was being forced to do. Lucas had taken a few more steps towards the door, still with the flute to his mouth and the song still going. He was approaching the end of the song, and Phil had to wonder what would happen when he finished, but he didn t intend to let Lucas keep playing for that long. He jumped up on the counter, or at least he tried. His foot caught on the edge and he tripped, falling face first over the other side and pulling one of the registers with him. He hit the floor and the register crashed and broke open right next to him to shower change all over his prone form. Lucas was still close enough that the change flew and bounced at his feet, and as Lucas shuffled back he made a note on the flute that sounded wrong, something just slightly too high. At the noise Sue let out a loud groan, but Lucas continued and she quieted.

Phil tried to get to his feet, moaning at the new pain in his ankle. It felt like he might have twisted it on the counter. He d intended to jump on it and then back down with plenty of time to hit Lucas and force him to stop the song, but that plan had messed itself up quick. Now he wasn t even sure if he could run from Sue if he had to.

Lucas stopped as the song came to an end. Phil half-expected Sue to suddenly come to her senses, but she was shambling back toward him again, moaning about his brains. Phil tried to pull himself to his feet again, and this time at least made it to his knees. Lucas continued backing away for a few feet then stopped, and the angry grin on his face disappeared as he looked at the counter. Phil didn t follow his gaze at first, instead trying to keep all his attention on Sue. Her slow shuffling walk was slowed even further as she tried to move around the broken cash register. Most of it was made of heavy plastic that had withstood the fall, but the drawer was out and various pieces made the floor in front of her treacherous to someone who didn t commonly pick up their feet when they moved. The silver stake was still in Phil s hand, but he didn t think he could use it on her. A stabbing wouldn t have worked, anyway. She wouldn t feel the pain, and she wouldn t be stopped unless the stake went right into her brain. He tried to think of any other way to stop her, any way that would not involve killing her again, but his mind was frozen.