New Title 1 (40 page)

But underlying the requests, some almost reasonable, many of them almost insufferable, Julian was continually brought back to their situation, and the terrible loss they had already suffered. The losses to Earth when the satellites, once constructed to be the islands of sanity and salvation of Mankind, would be consumed and wasted, their promise to the future lost to the insanities of the present.

And the loss
he
had suffered. Evelyn Volov, one of his oldest friends; once an intimate friend; and now, like his wife, lost to him while he helplessly looked on.

After a time, Julian found he could no longer concentrate on the work, and he shut down his workstation. Leaving the datapad on the desktop, he strode out of his office and into CnC. He glanced quickly around the room until he located a familiar face. “Lang,” he said loud enough for everyone in CnC to hear, “you have command of CnC for the rest of the shift, until Eo Luis gets back.”

“Yes, sir…” Lang replied, but Julian was already walking through the doors to CnC, not waiting for his reply.

Julian walked like an automaton through the corridors, to the lift, down to the residential floors. It seemed that the weight of the last two days was bearing down upon him, threatening to break his back with each new step. With the constant barrage of bad news he’d suffered through, he was beginning to lose faith in their ability to return safely to Earth. He thought of Anise, and wondered whether he’d ever get the chance to speak to his daughter again. He thought of his lost Mariel, and remembered how long it had been since he’d visited her grave, or thanked her once again for delivering Anise to his care before she was swept away by the power of Mother Earth’s raging waters. He thought of Evelyn Volov, more than a friend, who could have been more than a lover… and he wondered how much she had suffered when the freighter had punctured Tranquil’s hull and taken her.

He thought of the remaining beauty of Earth, and wondered if he would ever see it with his own eyes again. His blood seemed to freeze in his veins as he considered a life without Earth.

So consumed was Julian by these thoughts, that he walked the entire distance to his own residence without seeing a single step, a single person, a single feature of the satellite he had lived in for the past eighteen years. To be sure, the shadows within Verdant were deepening, standard procedure for the end of the day, and in many areas the lights were coming on, but at that dusky level of the day where those lights seem to be ineffectually dim. Verdant’s interior was morphing from green to grey, and the colorful clothing of passers-by were becoming silhouettes moving to and fro around him, easy to ignore.

Occasionally, he reached a point in his travel where vigilance would have been recommended, to avoid taking a bad step onto a moving lift, or stumbling into a closed door. Fortunately, every lift seemed to be there when he arrived, every door opened, every traffic indicator oriented in his direction. Julian scarcely noticed the ease of his travel, and paid no attention to his unhindered progress home.

But as he reached his own door, something in the periphery of his senses caught his attention, and with a start, he jerked to a halt. His eyes scanned about intently, examining the shadows and corners in his vision, especially those between him and his front door… and presently, his eyes settled on one such shadow, multiple shapes being thrown by a small garden of potted plants in a waist-high planter, shapes that stirred in a light wafting breeze with their attendant leaves, other shapes that defied the breeze and kept their position. He suddenly remembered Kris Fawkes’ warnings about attempted assassinations, and it occurred to him only at that moment that he was…
had been
… an easy target. And something about that particular shadow did not seem to be the same as those he’d seen before…

Then the shadow began to move. It moved slowly, but not glacially… not as if it did not want to be noticed. This shadow knew it had been seen, and it was satisfied to display itself fully. Julian found that he could not run from it… it was certainly too late, at any rate… so he stood there and watched it with dreadful fascination, until the shadow had finally detached itself from the plants and assumed its own shape.

Then the shadow spoke: “I didn’t mean to alarm you.”

Julian recognized the voice immediately, and found himself releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Kris Fawkes walked up to him out of the shadows, smiling apologetically. As she approached, her eyes fixed on his, and slowly, her expression changed.

Julian stood still and allowed her to move close enough to rest one hand on his shoulder. He felt her fingers flex against his arm, probing, trying to connect with something, all the while never taking her eyes off his. As Kris studied him, he watched her, almost as a spectator watches a performance, waiting to see if the performer would solve the riddle set before them. And at the same time,
being
the riddle… and not knowing exactly what would happen to himself if the performer was successful. Not sure he wanted to know. Afraid to know.

Desperate
to know.

He waited.

Kris spent perhaps the longest time she’d ever spent, trying to read someone so thoroughly, and having the most difficult time at it. Certainly, in Julian, there was pain just below the surface, barely concealed… she had read the data provided by Enu Thompson, so she knew about Mariel… but there was more,
far
more, denied needs, repressed desires, buried memories… a subjugated spirit. Something that thought it needed to be caged, and that had been self-suppressed for so long that now it had no idea what to do if it gained its freedom. But Kris felt it needed to be freed, for Julian’s own good.

As she studied him, Kris sought words. She had met many caged souls, and she was sure this one could be released with the correct words… the words of
magic
, the keys that would penetrate the locks and free the caged soul within. It was a risky venture: The wrong words could not only clamp the bars down even tighter, but could also unleash a backlash that could have dire, painful, even fatal consequences. But the payoff could be…
transcendent
.

And a part of her was insanely curious about this man, one of so few who did not reveal himself to her in the first seconds, the first words, of their meeting. Her first Man of Mystery in so,
so
long. She had realized, days before, that she was attracted to him… and later, that she wanted him. For him, she wanted to risk the words, she wanted to dash that cage aside, and she wanted to see what would come roaring out of the cage once it was opened… no matter the risk.

Suddenly, she caught a flicker in his eye… a flash from the buried soul, a mute shout, a glimmer of need, which Julian himself probably didn’t know was there. The flash had Mariel’s name emblazoned on it, of course… but it wasn’t just love, it wasn’t just longing that was there.

According to the data she’d seen, Mariel had fought the floods she and her infant daughter Anise had been trapped against. By the time Julian had reached them, according to eyewitness reports, it was considered a miracle that the woman had lasted so long against the furious current. When, after intense struggle, Julian had finally gotten close, Mariel had handed over her daughter, putting her directly, firmly, triumphantly into Julian’s hands.

Then she’d been swept under by the current, taken from Julian’s grasp so quickly that it seemed she had been captured by submerged hands and borne away. Leaving her husband, and her daughter, to live on without her.

In Julian’s eyes, Kris saw a reflection of the look that had passed between lovers that day. It was a look of heroic effort, and tragic loss, forever burned into his retina. Kris now saw Mariel as Julian remembered her, and she realized: He didn’t just miss this woman; he
deified
her, and her ultimate sacrifice. And his soul still screamed of her pain.

And at once, Kris had her words.
His words
. She smiled sympathetically, calmly, carnally, moved close to his ear, and whispered to him:

“Only love is worth that pain.”

Julian’s head snapped about to face her directly, and Kris froze as his eyes locked on hers. Her words had done the trick: They had awoken him like a snap of lightning. Somewhere deep inside him, the cage had been collapsed, its control of his inner fire was gone. The fire now burned hot in his eyes… and his eyes saw only her. Now she was at the mercy of whatever she had unleashed.

She almost started when she felt a motion against her free hand, and had to resist the urge to draw back. Slowly, Julian’s hand closed around hers, his fingers entwining through hers and locking together. She felt herself being drawn, and she shifted a foot to catch herself. It took her a moment to be sure what was happening: He was leading her to his door. It opened at his approach, and automatic lights snapped on inside, inviting, pushing away the darkness and the fear.

Kris allowed herself to be led inside.

Once the door had closed behind them, Julian stopped and turned to face her. He released her hand, then took her head in his hands. His eyes bored into hers, searching for a sign that this was not what Kris had intended. Kris knew that look well, and she responded with her eyes, giving herself to him. Without hesitation, Julian pulled her forward and kissed her, gently at first… then more forcefully, when she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck.

Kris found she had to hold on tight, as she felt herself being drawn in by an elemental force within this man. His arms wrapped around her back, pulling her closer, and the power of his body matched the raw heat in hers; in no time, she had lost touch with her surroundings. Julian had become the entire world, and she wanted to hold on tight.

When their lips parted, Kris was suddenly unsure she could stay on her own feet. Julian seemed to sense this, and with a sweep of his arm under her knees, he lifted her into his arms. The sudden sensation forced a gasp out of Kris, and she wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck. He moved very smoothly down the hallway, the speed of his footfalls the only indication of their progress. She didn’t care; he could have carried her from one end of Verdant to the other, and she wouldn’t have cared.

Julian took her into the bedroom, and sat her down on the edge of the bed. He sat down beside her, and she pushed against him immediately, placing a caressing hand on his face as she kissed him. Her other hand, he soon realized, was reaching inside of his blazer, brushing along his pectoral, and he responded by pinching open the buttons on her blouse. He reached in and found the swell of her breasts, barely concealed underneath a silk cami, and he cupped one purposefully. Kris responded with a groan that was part satisfaction, part hunger, and pulled him down to the bed beside her. He hovered over her long enough to shuck off his blazer, as she quickly pinched open the buttons of his shirt. “Lights. Lights out!” he said, his voice croaking with the first words he’d spoken in what seemed like hours. Then he was down upon her again, their lips locked together hungrily, their hands sliding under layers of clothing to find the warm flesh beneath.

They took turns removing items of each other’s clothing, and allowing the reveal of each bodily area to spur them on. The way Julian placed his hands on Kris, forceful and confident, while she ran her hands reverently over his body, made their lovemaking more adamant with each moment. At times, he almost mauled her, but his energy was so pure and powerful that Kris could only revel in his forcefulness.

For Julian, it was as if years of repressed sexual energy were fighting to be released at once. And to him, Kris looked, felt, smelled, moved like a primal sexual force, like something that only a dream could contain. Everything she did spurred him on, no reservations, no pulled punches, no holding back. He pawed her, nearly ripped the clothing from her, and still she grabbed at him, writhed underneath him, demanded more. And he needed, so badly, to give her all of it.

When he finally entered her, she cried out with the joy of the sensation, her body giving an immediate shudder in response. Kris pulled Julian down upon her with all her strength, forcing her breasts up against him, which energized him even more. She wrapped her legs around his and clung to him for dear life.

~

“I was right about you.”

Julian used his hand to prop his head up on the pillow, and looked at Kris’ silhouette in the dark of his bedroom. “What?”

“You were…
transcendent
,” Kris told him. Although he could not see her face, she sounded like she was smiling.

“And you,” he said, “were
supernatural
. I felt like… I don’t know… like you
knew
me… like you’ve
always
known me. Like we’ve been lovers before.”

“In a past life?” Now Julian knew Kris was smiling. She pushed closer to him, her skin still hot against his. “I’d love to think we were lovers in another life. And maybe we’ll be lovers in a future life. But right now, I’m just happy about this one. And I’m happy I was here for you.”

Kris levered herself up, to rest on Julian’s chest. “I hope this isn’t hitting too close to home, but I could tell you’ve had a lot bottled up, for quite some time. And I could tell how much you needed to let it out… it was strangling you.”

Julian considered her words, and smiled. “I think you’re right. I didn’t really see it, myself… I think I actually avoided looking at it.” He thought of Mariel, and a tear formed in the corner of his eye. “It was so hard to look at…”

“I know,” Kris said, and slid upward so she could kiss him. Her lips were warm and sweet, and they made it easier for Julian to push unpleasant thoughts away, and revel in the presence of her. “You don’t have to forget. Just dwell on the positive that came out of it… your daughter, Anise.”

“Yes,” Julian nodded. “Anise. She turned out to be the perfect daughter, and a wonderful woman. Saving her was… probably the only thing worth Mariel’s life.”

“But she didn’t just save your daughter,” Kris pointed out. “She saved her for
you
. So you could be a part of her life, even if she couldn’t. She knew how much you deserved your daughter. And how much you deserved all the happiness you can get.”