New Love (30 page)

“I want my keys
, Lucas.”

“Tessa give me a f
ew minutes… please,” he walked towards her.

She backed up, and he stopped.

“Tessa I want to talk.”

“You’
ve said enough, I get it, I get it all. I just wish you had said it all before last week when, well it doesn’t matter. I get it, and I want to go home now.”

“Ten minutes Baby,” he said trying to grab her hand.

“Don’t touch me,” she stepped back.

“Okay just come sit for ten minutes please,” he asked his eyes full of pain.

She sat, and he stared at her, “Damn it, I’m sorry. I really am. Please look at me Tessa, I was fucked up…and I promise it won’t happen again.”

“No
, actually on the way home from what I thought was an amazing time at your family, you were
not
fucked up Lucas. When you were rude to me this morning you were quite sober, when you treated me horribly today, you were
not
fucked up. When you read your speech at court I kind of got it. I wanted to help you through this, but the problem is it’s me you blame, and I get that too. What I don’t get Lucas is why you couldn’t talk to me. Why this thing with you and I happened, when you so obviously hate me. What you have managed to accomplish today is amazing. You have made me the reason for a horrible accident that no one could have stopped. You have rubbed my face into how worthless you think I am by not wanting me by your side. You have told people I’m on the rag! In less than a week, you’ve shown me what it’s like to be one of thirteen and tonight you told me you were moving on to fourteen. You’ve held me here against my will, and you expect me to be okay with that? I’m sorry for whatever shit I’ve brought into your life you self centered pompus ass, but I won’t take that from you anymore, now give me my keys,” she stood up.

“Is it my turn yet
, Tessa!”

“No, actually it’s not; you’re not going to change for me or anyone else. You don’t want someone to love and who loves you. So give me my keys, or I’ll walk.”

His eyes filled with tears, “Please Tessa, please. I love you.”

"You may think that right now but Lucas you don't. I know you’re hurting, I just don’t know how to help when you keep pushing me away. I don’t know if I even want to try anymore.”

He closed his eyes and looked down, “I don’t know how to deal with hi
m being gone. I’m pissed at myself for not saying let’s do something else, that night. But I knew I wanted to stop you Tessa from fucking that…”

“He and Jade were coming with or without you
, Lucas.”

“
I could’ve stopped him. He would’ve stayed here. I wanted to go! It was my fucking fault, and…I’m pissed that I watched him die and couldn’t help him,” he sat back and covered his face with his hands and let out a deep breath. “And now I’m pissed at myself for hurting you --again.”

She wanted to hug him, but she was still angry. She sat there and watched the boy she loved
, crumble… and she didn’t even hug him.

“Tessa
-- your keys are in the top drawer of my dresser. I’m sorry for being horrible to you. I fuck up everything. My family, every girl I’ve ever been with…Tommy was my fucking best friend and if I never knew him…he’s dead because of me, Tessa. I’ll do the same shit to you, so yeah you should fucking run,” he got up and wiped is eyes, “I’ll go get them.”

He walked down the stairs and handed them to her. She walked out the door and got in the Jeep, he stood in the doorway. She turned to check behind her, and he squatted down and buried his face in his knees. She saw him, and her heart broke. She shut off the Jeep and walked back up to him. He looked up at her.

“You’re a complete idiot! None of those things happened because of you Lucas! Tommy saw that, I saw that. God you need to stop this…this…don’t ever do that to me again,” she hugged him.

“I
won't," he hugged her.

He followed her inside, and they went upstairs. She lay down, and he cautiously lay next to her. She turned to her side and put her arms across his chest.

“I Love you, Lucas.”

“Thank you Tessa. I love you,”
Lucas fell asleep.

She lay there wondering if this would ever be right as she drifted to sleep. She woke to him thrashing and moaning.

“Lucas, wake up,” he continued, “Lucas, please wake up.”

She remembered what he did for her, and she kissed him until he calmed down. He didn’t wake and still thrashed. She climbed on top of him and kissed him.

“Oh Tessa I’m so sorry baby.”

She took his hands and raised them above his head and kissed him again. When she knew he was awake she lay next to him and hugged him.

“You okay?”

“Yes
, thank you,” Lucas was embarrassed and Tessa rubbed his back until he seemed to relax.

They
lay quietly side by side when he finally sat up and looked at her.

“I need you to know I’
m sorry, Tessa.”

“Okay.”

“No, it’s not, you don’t trust me. I know that I’ve hurt you, I love you and I need you to know that. You’re being polite and sweet, when I just know you’re pissed. So please just talk to me,” he said with urgency in his voice.

“Would you have tal
ked to me about this blame you’re placing on me, and on yourself?”

“No
, probably not,” he let out a deep breath and rested his arm across his eyes.

“Then
how can I trust you? If I hadn’t come here Lucas what would you have done?” she asked “If you can’t talk to me then what are we doing?”

“I won’t keep anything from you Tessa, and if
you feel I am kick my ass. We’ll be fine, better than fine.”

“Okay and if you’
re concerned with my behavior… let me know.”

“Can I hug you?”

“No,” she said and threw herself back.

He sat with his head hung.

“Sarcasm, Links.”

“Thank God,” he
hugged her. “Are we going to get through this?”

“We shall see,” she
smiled.

“That wasn
’t very reassuring.”

“I want to
.”

“Me too,”
Lucas said, “But I need you to tell me, Tessa.”

“Sure we
re good, but,” she stood up “I need to get home before my Dad knows I am gone.”

He stood up and walked over and grabbed her keys. They went downstairs, and he grabbed her clothes out of the dryer.

“Here, you might want to change,” he said looking in her eyes.

Do it Tessa
she thought. She took off his shorts and put her underwear and pants on. She glanced up, and his mouth was slightly opened. She took his shirt off and threw it at him and put on her bra. She pulled her shirt over her head and looked at him. His eyes were smoldering.

“Walk me out?”

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths and took her hand.

They got to the Jeep, and he hugged her.

“That was not nice, Tessa.”

“Oh I’m sorry, you seemed to want your clothes back, so I gave them to
you.”

“Tessa w
ill you please come back inside?” he asked politely.

“Sorry bud
… I need to go.”

“So is
your… you know over?”

“Yes actually,
it was yesterday,” she smirked. “Call me later if you want to talk.”

She grinned as she got in the
Jeep; she motioned for him to come over and kissed him. She turned in her seat facing him and rubbed his belly. His went up her shirt and he groaned as he kneaded her breast. She pulled away and started the jeep and backed out. She waved goodbye and drove away.

She got home and snuck in and went upstairs.

Her phone chimed

-
Are you home?...Love Lucas

-
Just got in…Love Tessa

-
When can I see you?...Love Lucas

-
Cleaning and laundry today…Love Tessa

-
Can we go out to dinner tonight?...Love Lucas

-
I actually was thinking about hanging out with Kendall, Jake, and Alex, I miss them. Batting practice, baseball starts soon and then a drive in…Love Tessa

-
Am I being punished? Truth Tessa…Love Lucas

-
No, I just think you and I may need to slow it down a bit. We don’t have a chance to miss one another, and maybe that’s a problem for us, and I really do miss them…Love Tessa

-
I miss you now, does that count?...Love Lucas

-
Sure, do you want to come with us?...Love Tessa

-Yes,
please…Love Lucas

-
Three o’clock don’t be late…Love Me

~

Lucas went to Church on Sunday and had dinner with them. He pitched to the kids after dinner and hit some balls as well. The kids were having a blast and so was Tessa. Lucas was trying, but seemed very frustrated.

“You trying out for softball
? Baby… you can hit,” he smiled.

“Yes of course are you tryi
ng out for baseball?”

The kids ran ahead and were almost in the house.

“I’m not sure; I’ve always played just not sure I want to.”

“That’s too bad, I bet your butt looks grea
t in those pants,” she grabbed his ass.

“Tessa, don’t
touch baby, until you’re ready.”

“
Seriously unfair,” she moved her hand to his back.

“How long am I
on punishment Tessa?”

“Oh
, I didn’t think this was punishment Lucas,” took her hand away from his back.

“Ok my bad,” he
put his hand on her ass “This will look fine in uniform,” he rubbed his hand down her butt and grabbed it as he whispered in her ear. She looked at him as he continued to rub her backside. Her eyes fluttered. “See? Punishment Tessa.”

“
Lucas, that’s not why,” she closed her eyes.

“Tell me why then,” he asked softly as he kissed her neck.

“I miss you, I miss talking to you. It seems like all that pulls us farther apart,” Tessa looked concerned.

“Tessa it
won’t, I promise,” he kissed her.

“Okay,” she whimpered, “Tomorrow after practice I want to go back to your place.”

“How about now, baby?” he asked kissing the base of her neck.

“After practice,” she
pulled away smiling.

He pulled back and looked at her and laughed, “You trying to get me to try out?”

“Yes, I really want to see that butt in those pants,” she kissed him.

He pulled away “What if I promise now?” he asked his eyes blazing.

“Oh no, I’m enjoying this too much,” Tessa smiled.

“What? Driving me crazy?
” he asked looking as if he was in pain.

“No, seeing you want me
again.”

“I never didn’t want you.
I never didn’t love you… do you understand that?”

“
Then what’s one day?”

“Twenty four hours of feeling like
this?”

“Okay truth, it’s Sunday, and I feel bad anyway about you k
now, and it’s Sunday,” she looked down.

“Tessa I’
m going to be with you forever, I don’t think God is mad at you.”

“How do you figure?”

He looked up “God I love her, I want her forever, permission please. Did you hear that?”

She smiled, “No.”

“He said you had to say the same,” Lucas smiled. Her face turned red. “Oh I see you can’t.”

“God I love
Lucas and am going to be his forever.”

“No lightn
ing, no booming voice.”

She looked at him, “Did you hear that? He said wait until tomorrow.”

“You are impossible,” he yelled.

“Kiss me,” she smiled and he did.

She walked him to his car and hugged him. He lightly bit her neck. She breathed out loudly. “See, you want me Tessa.”

“Yes
Lucas and I feel the same way every time I look at you, even before we… yah know, I love you, go home and take care of that,” she blushed and started to walk away.

“Hey baby?”

“Yes?”

“I just wanted to remind you, our first time was a Sunday,”
Lucas winked.

“Wow, I never…” Tessa gasped.

“Yeah, that’s things chicks are supposed to remember, kind of embarrassed that I did, and you didn’t,” he laughed.