New Girl (13 page)

“Why?” I asked. For some stupid reason.

“Well…” Julia and she exchanged a look. “Last time we were here, Becca was with us.”

“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

“That was where we sat last time…” Julia looked longingly at a table occupied by a couple. He said something to her, and she blushed.

“Aw, they are so cute,” said Julia. “They even remind me of…”

“I know!” Madison exclaimed. “I was just going to say that! That day even.”

Julia looked to us to explain. “We were here right after Christmas, and she was wearing that silver necklace Max gave her. Do you remember it, Blake?”

Blake stared at the menu on the table and said quietly, “Yes.”

“It was from Tiffany & Co.,” Julia explained to me. “He’d had her name engraved, and the date they got together.”

“Oh, she looked so pretty that day. She had on those cute riding boots—they were the same ones Kate Middleton had been wearing in this one picture…well anyway, they were so cute.”

The waiter came over and took our order. I ordered lobster bisque and Croque Monsieur. I hoped to God they’d stop talking about Becca when the waiter left. But no.

“When we were here that day, we were just talking, whatever, like we always did, and then Max came in. He just showed up. Johnny was with him, but he was in here talking to us. That was the day I realized Johnny had feelings for Becca.”

Blake looked at her. “Do you think Becca ever had feelings for him?”

“Are you serious?” Julia scoffed and carried on. “Anyway, they sat on that bench there. They were there for like ten minutes. He looked at her necklace, and then they kissed… I was so jealous.”

“Me, too,” Madison said. “I want a boy to love me that much. He was always trying with her. He refused to let her go.”

“He really fought for her.”

“They were on their way to getting back together right before she…right before she went missing.”

“They broke up?”

“Yes, for a little while. I don’t like to talk about it,” Madison said, as if it were her own breakup.

The Bobbsey Twins went silent, then began chattering on about where they thought she was. I shut them out until Julia said the words I had also thought.

“You know, I think Dana knows more than she lets on.”

“Why do you say that?” asked Blake.

Julia nodded. “She’s been acting so freaky and everything. I just think she knows something. Remember the night of her meltdown?”

“Oh, yeah, when she said ‘You know’ to Max? I think that meant something.”

“Me, too.”

“Speaking of Dana,” said Madison, “what happened with you guys?”

“Yeah, we heard you screaming at each other.”

I was afraid they’d ask me that. “She just kind of freaked out.”

I didn’t want to give specifics.

“She said you just started randomly throwing things at her.”

“No.” My cheeks were getting hot. “She was hurling insults at me, and so then I took down all of Becca’s pictures and gave them to her.”

Gave
was a bit of a stretch....

“I just didn’t want them up on my wall anymore. She’s the one that wants them up, and I just feel weird looking at her pictures all the time since I didn’t even know her. It makes me feel like I’m intruding on her space.”

Neither of them looked like they knew what to say.

Blake shrugged. “It
was
weird. It’s not a shrine, it’s a dorm room in a school.”

“That’s not quite fair....” said Julia slowly.

“Sure it is, it’s my side of the room now. She was being a bitch.”

Everyone looked shocked. Blake smiled and took a sip of her drink. The other two changed the subject, and said nothing more about Becca for the rest of the meal.

“Thank God you called. Seriously, I’ve been desperate,” Leah was saying into her end of the phone.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It’s Michael.”

Ah. Big surprise. Something was always happening with Michael. That’s another thing I wasn’t looking forward to at FSU—another four years of Ronnie-Sammi-esque drama. “What happened?”

“I am just
so
done with him.
So
done with him. He keeps acting superjealous, when I’m not even
doing
anything. I was with Emma yesterday and he got infuriated when I didn’t answer his texts. It’s so annoying.”

I really hoped she
was
finished with him. If this continued on into college, and I really was her roommate, I’d absolutely kill myself. Or them.

“Just let go of him, Leah, seriously. You guys have been beyond finished for like three years.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean, he’s done everything you hate. He’s read your texts, your Facebook messages, your emails, he’s
followed you
when you left your
house…
How have you stayed with him?”

“I don’t know. Because I love him? I really care about him. Ugh, I wish I could just let go, but it’s so hard. How’s your love life by the way?” she asked, brightening.

“Oh…um, nonexistent.”

“Really? There’s
no one
at all?”

“Really. Well. There’s this guy…but…” Suddenly everything about Becca seemed like it was difficult to explain. I couldn’t say that there was a missing girl and everyone misses her and it’s really screwing up
my
life without sounding like a total jackass. Or maybe just thinking it made me one. “He’s got a girlfriend.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. Does he love her?”

“Apparently.”

“Aw. I’m sorry, that sucks. Well, is there anyone else you like?”

“Nope. I don’t even really know anyone. Leah?” She was talking with the mouthpiece covered up.

“Can I call you back? Michael is here.”

“Not really, I have to turn my phone—”

“Love you!”

And she was gone. I looked at my phone. It was nine already anyway. I sighed and stood up to return my phone to its own little jail cell.

I walked up to see that Max was returning his phone. I took a deep breath and walked toward him. He spotted me as he handed his phone over.

He smiled, and I smiled back. More backflips.

I said hi, and he said hi, and that was it. I could do nothing more to prolong the moment. I walked up the stairs and away from him.

That was all I could have done. Max and I had barely spoken. And all I’d gotten were reasons to avoid him.

When I arrived at my room, my heart still in my throat, I found my door locked. I hoped that meant Dana wasn’t in the room. No such luck, however. She was there, looking as morbid as usual.

“Only five minutes after nine,” she said, looking at her alarm clock. “Hmm.”

“What?”

She sighed and set down her book. “Becca was never back this early. She used to stay out until the wee hours of the morning with Max.”

“What makes you think I was with Max?” I thought of our brief encounter.

She laughed, and it did not suit her. “I just meant that
she
was always with Max. But I guess you can see now how you misunderstood.”

I flushed pink. Dana stood and drifted into the bathroom. I wanted to smack her. My eyes scanned the wall of pictures, landing on one of Becca in a royal-blue shirt, her golden-blond hair in curls. She leaned back as Max kissed her. My heart fell.

I kicked off my shoes, and immediately stubbed my toe on that stupid Louis Vuitton suitcase. The pain that shot up my foot sent some kind of wave through me. I walked over to the bathroom and threw open the door. She had just tossed her shirt on the ground, and covered herself up as I walked in.

“I’ve had
enough.
You cannot talk to me like that and just expect me to take it. You don’t know
me,
you just hate me because you miss your fucking friend. And I have
told
you that I understand, and that I sympathize. But you are just—”

“Oh, shut
up,
you’re turning an ugly shade of red.”

She smiled smugly at me and rolled her eyes, and I almost lost it. I envisioned slapping her hard and tossing an easy, “Who’s red now, bitch?” over my shoulder as I left her to cry.

But instead I just steadied my breathing and stalked out.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

BECCA COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT
Johnny. How was that possible? What was drawing her to him? At first he had seemed so predictable and uninteresting. But now he was intriguing and desirable.

It had been three weeks since it happened, and time had only made her yearn for more of Johnny’s touch, breath and whatever that strange power was that he had over her. Her wanting had made it nearly impossible to be with Max. She felt stone-cold. Nothing he did could rattle her. But every time she wanted something more with Johnny, she’d convince herself not to go toward him. After all, if she liked him, he could hurt her.

Then she’d stay with Max a little longer. At least until she really had Johnny.

But that didn’t mean it was easy to stop talking to him in the meantime, or hooking a finger through his belt loop when they talked. She was doing that now, while the party surrounded them. As soon as she caught a glimpse of Max, she jumped away from Johnny as if he’d scalded her.

“Hey, baby,” she said to Max, running over to him and then winding an arm around him. “You wanna do a body shot?”

He gave her a look. “No. Thanks though.”

“But I do! Please, babe?” He said nothing, but laughed, and she smiled. She jumped onto a table next to her, shouted over the music to get the attention of the room. “Hey! Who wants to do a body shot off me?”

She pulled up her shirt to show her flat stomach, and smiled wider as her subjects cheered. She chose a random guy she didn’t even know, and pulled him over to the beer pong table. She lay down, and laughed at the crowd around her. Someone poured a shot of tequila onto her stomach, sprinkled some salt on her chest, and then put a slice of lime from the dining hall into her mouth. The guy took the shot, and everyone clamored to be next. Becca looked at Max, who smiled and shook his head. He didn’t look jealous enough. She glanced at Johnny, who did.

In short order, Becca had downed three shots and, finally, the room had begun to spin a little. She found that this was about how drunk she needed to be in order to feel affectionate toward Max and to forget about Johnny. Usually. But that became really hard as she looked up and saw that Johnny was dancing with that girl Susan.

Susan? Really? That poor ditz was only
trying
to be like Becca. Suddenly her mousy blond hair was up in a spunky ponytail
just like Becca’s,
and her glasses were gone, and her boobs were in a real bra instead of a sports bra. Oh, and she’d picked up smoking Camel Lights,
just like
Becca.

Becca stood quickly, momentarily losing her balance, and took two shots right in a row. They burned, and she looked to see what they were. Hundred-proof vodka.

Twenty minutes later, it was kicking her ass.

She spotted Johnny about twenty feet away, and ambled over to him.

“I think I had too much stuff,” she said.

“What did you have? You didn’t accept anything from Ricky, right?”

“No, no…I just had some shots of that.” She pointed indiscriminately. “I didn’t know it was hundred proof.”

She wanted to lean on him. To feel his arm around her, making her feel safe. From what, she didn’t know. But he always made her feel better.

“Johnny…
Johnny.
”

“Yeah?”

“We should be, you know, like…” She pointed between them. “Together or whatever.”

He looked at her, and she wanted to reach up and kiss him.

“We can’t.”

“Not ever? Not even if I break up? I mean with Max. If I break up with him, why couldn’t
we
be, then?” Those shots were tangling her tongue.

“Because that’s almost as bad as what we’re doing now.” His voice was low. “He’d never forgive me if he found out. So even if we were legit together, it would be wrong.”

The words sank in, and her eyes began to burn. She turned away, not wanting him to see her wipe her eyes. She found Max.

She stumbled up to him. “Dance with me?”

She pulled him into the group of people dancing, careful to stay within Johnny’s eyeshot. Becca grinded into Max’s leg, and ran her hands along his neck.

“I like you so much. I’m so glad we’re together.”

She kissed him, and then turned around so her back was on his chest and her hand still on his neck. Johnny looked at her and quickly turned away.

“We should go somewhere,” said Becca, tugging on Max’s collar. “I want you so bad right now.”

He hesitated, and then gave a nod. “Okay, let’s go.”

She pulled him down so she could talk into his ear. “Why don’t you go to the supply room and I’ll meet you there? It’ll be less obvious, and we won’t get interrupted.”

He shrugged. “Okay, whatever.”

She waited for him to go, and then tapped Susan on the shoulder. “Hey, Susie! Love your hair!”

“Thanks!”

“No problem.” Then she pulled Johnny toward her and said as quietly as she could so that he could hear, “Meet me in the supply room in three minutes.”

“What? Becca, no—”

She nodded and went off to meet Max.

“Mmm,” she said, when she closed the door behind her. “You look so sexy right now.”

“You, too. Come here.”

She had to make this fast, so everything would happen at just the right time. She pulled him close to her. “I want you
now.
”

He lifted her easily, and she leaned on one of the shelves. Only a minute later, they were in the throes of passion and Johnny walked in. Becca screamed and pulled Max closer.

“Whoa, sorry,” Johnny said, and then he closed the door. But not before giving Becca the look she’d been hoping for.

Jealousy.

“Are you going to the Halloween Ball?” Becca buffed her nails and idly made conversation with Dana.

Becca was not entirely sure how to feel about Dana. Ever since she’d been hanging out with her, Dana was getting attention. No one seemed to notice that it was
entirely
because of Becca, and that clearly that meant that she held all the power in the school. All they seemed to notice was Dana.

She was pretty, and lately she had more confidence. Becca knew better than anyone that this was a dynamic duo of traits. Dana was also pretty quiet, but had been sent here after some kind of weird bipolar flip out at a teacher at her old school. Becca had zoned out while Dana was telling her.

“Oh…no, I don’t have a date.”

“Do you
want
to go?”

“Maybe…I’ve never been.”

“Oh, that’s pathetic. You’ve been here since freshman year and you haven’t been?”

Dana shook her head.

“I’m going to get you a date.”

“No, I don’t want a pity date, really.”

“You’re already getting
my
pity. I’m just going to ask Johnny if he wants to take you.”

That would only make Becca look less interested. Maybe then he’d actually try to go for her.

“Johnny Parker?”

“Yup.” That way he wouldn’t get a
real
date.

“He’d never want to go with me probably. He’s gorgeous and smart and everything. He could get anyone.”

“Okay, yeah, obviously, but that’s why I’m setting it up. He’ll go with you.”

A smile stretched across Dana’s face, and her eyebrows flickered a little. “That’d be cool, I guess—but only if he wants to go.”

“Meanwhile,” she said with a sigh, “Max and I are just madly in love.”

She did this often with Dana. She would sit down and talk at her, making her relationship sound perfect, and the rest of her life sound enviable. She would never tell Dana that she, too, had bad experiences in her past that had landed her here. She definitely wouldn’t tell her about the one thing that had pretty much bought her ticket.

As far as Dana or anyone else for the rest of her life needed to know, Becca was perfect and her life was charmed.

“That’s good that everything is good with you guys,” Dana said, and took a sip from a glass of water she had next to her bed.

“It is good. We’re getting pretty serious. I’m a little worried he likes me
too
much.”

Lie.

“Really?”

There was a knock on the door.

“Can you get that?” Becca looked hopefully at Dana.

Dana pulled open the door to reveal Madison and Julia.

They both cooed a hello, and Becca smiled superficially. “Come on in—I was just telling Dana about how Max might be falling too hard for me.”

“You think so?” Madison asked eagerly, sitting down in Becca’s chair.

Julia sat on the desk, partially obscuring Dana.

“Yes, I’m totally serious. He pulled me out of the party the other night at the boathouse, and told me he had to talk to me…he was worried I was going to leave him for some other guy, you know, and then he took my hand—” she smiled as she watched everyone’s eyes get bigger “—and told me he never wanted us to end.”

Lie.

Madison and Julia aahed together.

“That is so sweet,” Madison said, her hand over her heart.

“I know. He says this kind of thing all the time. And about how, like, he wants to get married one day and we’ll have a big house on a beach that
doesn’t
suck like this one.”

Lie
.

They laughed. Dana looked down at her fingers and said nothing. Whatever, Becca thought, she’s not the most important one to pass the information along to anyway. Madison and Julia were bound to tell everyone how completely all about her he was.

Dana didn’t matter at all.