New Beginnings (14 page)

With my emotions all over the place and my stomach roiling in protest, I gave Bev the night off. The last thing I needed was her trying to shove food into my unsettled stomach. Instead, I paced the living room floor in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows wondering where the hell my fiancé was and whom the hell he was with.

Then the wind started to pick up and beat against the window mimicking the way the pain beat against my heart in my chest. For a moment it left me breathless, but I kept pacing. When the rains started to cascade down the windows, my tears also started to cascade down my cheeks. Hours had passed and I still had not heard anything from Xavier. I still could not get through on his cell phone either. My calls were going straight to voice mail. Out of frustration, I threw my iPhone on the couch.

Then in the quiet of the apartment, the arrival of the elevator rang out. I froze in place clutching my shirt to my chest. Could it be? He wasn’t due home until tomorrow, though. I closed my eyes for a second praying that it was Xavier. I smiled when I heard the familiar sound of his shoes on the ceramic tile floor. But, wait. His footsteps sounded much too harsh. I quickly opened my eyes only to see him stalking towards me. The smile slid off my face when I took in the angry scowl on his. Why the hell did he look so angry?

As he got closer, I took in his haggard-looking face. Deep, dark circles were under his eyes, which were only accentuated by his pale cheeks. His tie was loose around his neck, and his hair was in complete disarray.

I should have been happy to see him. I should have wanted to comfort him. I should have been curious as to why he looked so angry at me and why he was home a whole day early, but the only thing I could see when I looked at him was Monica hanging off his arm, and the anger spiked through me.

I started to shake as the adrenaline coursed through me. My breathing got shallow and I was giving him an angry scowl of my own.

He stopped before me. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” he demanded angrily.

“How’s Monica?” I asked, as I watched his baby blues bulge out of his head.

He quickly recovered himself. “How’s Eric?” He hit me back with.

I gaped at him. “How the hell did you know about that? What do you have? People watching me?” He didn’t answer me. He just continued to glare down at me. I poked him in the chest angrily. “Answer me!” I demanded.

“No, I don’t have people watching you. Tiffany saw you while on lunch. She was concerned and sent me a text message not realizing that I was in Vancouver.” He paused for a moment. “She was kind enough to include a photo with her text message.”

“Oh, lucky you. A visual aid,” I said sarcastically, watching him fumble with his iPhone. After locating the text message he was looking for, he thrust his phone at me. There was a photo of Eric leaning in and whispering in my ear.

“You two look very cozy,” he said angrily.

“Well, I suppose now Tiffany can believe that I’m the gold digging whore she’s already accused me of being. Bravo.”

“What the hell are you talking about? She’s never accused you of that.”

“Yeah, that you heard of. Remember that first night we had dinner with Gabriel and Tiffany at Andiamo? When I headed to the ladies room, she actually pulled me aside and apologized to me for being slightly judgmental of me. So she didn’t come out and say gold digging whore, but I knew what she was thinking.” My eyes filled with tears just thinking about how much that accusation hurt.

The look on Xavier’s face softened. “You never told me that, Ella.”

“What the fuck did you expect me to say? Hey, Xavier you’re brother is a great guy and that girlfriend of his is nice too even though she thinks I’m a gold digging whore. Besides I never did get to tell you about it after our little incident with Carline in the ladies room.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

He closed his eyes and winced at the memory. When he opened his eyes the anger returned and he took a menacing step towards me. “What the hell were you doing with Eric, Ella? I’ve told you to stay away from him for a reason. He’s dangerous. Tiffany sent me that picture because she was concerned about you.”

“Like I owe you a fucking explanation when you can’t tell me how your whole Vancouver trip revolved around Monica.” He actually had the nerve to look surprised. “Oh please, Xavier. All your attempts at buttering me up before you left totally make sense now. What a shitty thing to do.” I glared at him, but he remained speechless. “Eric told me all about the little cat and mouse game between you two. How she holds her family’s company over your head and threatens to leave your firm whenever you ignore her. He said in the end she always gets what she wants. And what is that exactly, Xavier? What is it that she always gets? You laid out on a silver fucking platter?”

I stood there waiting for him to say something, anything, but he remained mute for several seconds. Then his hand reached up and undid his tie. He pulled it over his head and tossed it carelessly on the couch. Quickly, he undid a few buttons of his shirt as if it was suddenly choking him. Rubbing the back of his neck roughly, he then removed his jacket tossing it haphazardly on the couch with his tie. When his eyes focused back on me, he looked conflicted. There was some kind of internal struggle going on inside him. Pain and guilt were all over his face, causing my heart to sink down to my toes. I’ve seen this look before on Stephen’s face. My eyes watered, my stomach flipped, and I began to shake uncontrollably. I started backing away from him, shaking my head from side-to-side, and moving my hands over my ears so I wouldn’t hear them. I couldn’t hear
those
words from his mouth.

“Ella,” he said, sounding pained as he reached out for me.

“No!” I shrieked.

Turning, I dashed for the bedroom. He easily caught up to me in the hall snagging me by the waist. I struggled against his hold, but he held me fast. When I elbowed him hard to the stomach, he dropped to his knees gasping for breath. Instantly, he let go of me. I scrambled to my feet and took off for the bedroom.

“Ella, please,” he pleaded.

Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I sank to the floor. Rubbing at my forehead, I frantically tried to get the images of Xavier with Monica out of my head. Fuck! I’m going to be sick! Jumping up, I took off for the bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I sank to the floor depositing what little there was in my stomach into the toilet.

I heard Xavier come storming into the bedroom as the door swung open violently. “Ella,” he growled. He tried the bathroom door. “Damn it!” he yelled. “Open the door! Now.”

Feebly, I got up off the floor and made my way to the sink. Quickly, I rinsed out my mouth before brushing my teeth. I got a glance of myself in the mirror and winced. I looked ghostly pale and my eyes were wide and frightened looking and horribly bloodshot from crying. Xavier pounded on the door once again making me jump.

“Ella!” he hollered. “Open the damn door!”

“Go the fuck away. I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“Damn it, Ella. You are so infuriating. You never let me explain. You NEVER listen!”

“I have plenty of visuals of the two of you together, believe me. I don’t need to hear your lame ass excuses or bullshit explanations. Just go the fuck away.” I yelled, stifling a sob.

“That’s what you think? You think I cheated on you?” He paused for a moment. “Open. The. Damn. Door. Now. Ella.” His fist pounded on the door with each word. “Open the damn door or I’ll break it down,” he said, sounding very determined.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” I said through clenched teeth.

Minutes passed by with complete silence. I thought maybe he had given up and left when suddenly a tinkling nose coming from the door caught my attention. The lock started turning much to my horror and then the door suddenly swung open. Of course he had a key.

He stood before me looking quite smug. I just wanted to smack that smug look right off his face. As a matter of fact … I narrowed my eyes at him and marched over to him. As soon as I raised my hand to him, he grabbed my wrist. I gasped in surprise.

“I don’t think so. You aren’t going to smack me across the face again. What you are going to do is listen to me,” he said angrily, as he hauled me off into the bedroom.

I was too tired and too weak to fight him. Stumbling behind him, I let him drag me into the bedroom. Roughly, he pushed me down onto the edge of the bed.

“Damn it, Ella. You’ve got to stop running from me. I know you’ve been hurt, but I would have thought by now you would have learned to trust me some.” He started pacing before me.

“I do trust you,” I said quietly.

He stopped and glared at me. “No you don’t. Don’t lie to me,” he said harshly.

I gasped and glared up at him.

“You said you didn’t want to hear my lame ass excuses or bullshit explanations thinking that I had cheated on you, which tells me you don’t trust me.” He glared down at me. Damn him. He was using my own words against me.

“Then why the hell did you look so guilty earlier?” I glared back at him.

“I should have been honest with you and told you about Monica. I didn’t because I knew you would have reacted exactly this way.” He paused for a moment giving me a long look. “Her family owns a company that works with my firm, and Eric was correct when he said she has in the past held it over my head when I have chosen to ignore her. Since I have met you, I have done nothing but ignore her and it’s made her quite angry.”

“Hmm, I bet it has,” I said sarcastically.

He crouched down in front of me and grabbed both of my hands in his. His beautiful, blue eyes burned into mine rendering me speechless. “But it was stupid of me to think I could convince her. I tried to explain to her that what we had was
never
going to happen again. I was happily engaged and soon to be married, and there was nothing in this world that could get me to be unfaithful to you.” He toyed with my engagement ring as he spoke. “She foolishly tried though. Showing up at the hotel I was staying at last night. She found me in the restaurant having dinner. She sat down at the table and tried fondling me underneath. Immediately, I slapped her hand away and stormed off.”

“Is that why you couldn’t sleep last night?” I asked quietly.

“Feeling guilty over not telling you the truth surrounding the reason for the trip was the reason why I couldn’t sleep. Well, that and I missed the hell out of you.” He gave me a small smile. “I’m sorry, Ella. I should have told you. She won’t be a problem again, though. Her family’s company has to answer to a board of directors. I met with them this morning. I will be working with them directly from now on. Oh, she’s going to be pissed off when she finds out, and I don’t even care.” He smiled widely as he focused on some place over my shoulder. Suddenly, the smile slid off his face and he turned his angry eyes on me. I flinched in response to his sudden change in mood. He gripped my hands tighter. “You still owe me an explanation,” he said angrily.

I frowned giving him a quizzical look. “An explanation for what?”

“What the hell were you doing with that bastard today? And while you’re at why don’t you tell me what happened with Devlin while I was away, too.” He raised a brow at me.

All the blood drained from face and my stomach roiled. How the hell did he know about Devlin? Holy shit! Did Renatta tell him? She wouldn’t. Would she? I pried a hand away from Xavier and clamped it over my mouth as a series of dry heaves racked my body.

Xavier’s face suddenly softened. “Ella, relax. My God, don’t get so upset. I’ll let you off the hook about Devlin. He called me.”

I gaped at him. “He what?” I asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” Xavier chuckled. “I guess he was feeling tremendously guilty about it. He assured me that he doesn’t have any feelings for you at least not like that, and said you made it very clear to him that there is only one man for you.” He gave me that crooked smile I loved so much. “Now you want to tell me about Eric?” he asked, sounding calmer.

“Oh, come on, Xavier. You know I hate that slimy bastard. He creeps me the fuck out.” He gave me a stern look. “What?”

“You and that mouth.” He shook his head.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I had a job on Second Avenue and went to the deli for lunch afterwards. By the way, how the hell does Eric know what I do?”

Xavier frowned at me. “What do you mean?”

“He asked if I was working in the area. When I told him I was, he asked what place was for sale.”

Xavier quickly got up and walked over to the window to look out, but not before I saw him blanch at what I said. “Interesting,” he mumbled. He continued to stand there for a few seconds before he turned around and gave me a small smile. “Go on,” he encouraged.

“I told him there was a condo on Second Ave for sale and he gave this awful laugh wanting to know if you were moving. I told him that
we
weren’t moving. He made a comment about not being sure we were still together since there was never an engagement announcement made. I said you had your reasons. He mentioned Heather and said how protective you were over me.” I paused for a moment as I saw the fury sweep over Xavier’s face. “Then he said he was surprised that I didn’t join you on your trip to Vancouver. I said I trusted you and he asked if I did even with Monica.” My voice shook at the mention of her name. I glanced down at my hands and started twirling my engagement ring. “The bastard saw it on my face. There was no hiding it. That’s when he leaned in and said he was right here and why didn’t I use him to get back at you for being with her. That’s when I bolted out of the place. I knew the bastard was only trying to goad me on.”