Never (The Ever Series Book 2) (15 page)

“Enough suspense! Are you guys going to fill us in?” I demand on behalf of Audra and myself.

Ashley pulls what looks like a board game from her bag. I start feeling queasy. Board games are not my thing, mostly because I suck at them. She puts the board on the table, and I lean in for a closer look. It doesn’t look like any board game I’ve seen before.

“I thought you were going to make us play Monopoly or something,” I exhale. “What is it?”

“It’s a Ouija board,” Lindsay says, staring at me like I just crawled out of cave. “You’ve seen one before, right?”

I shake my head.

“A spirit board,” Ashley explains. “To communicate with the dead.”

“Like a séance?” I ask skeptically. “Do you guys believe in that stuff?”

“Ash does,” Lindsay snickers with an eye roll.

“I totally talked to my grandpa after he died!” Ashley shoots back defensively.

She slaps a wooden piece with a small see-through hole at its center onto the board.

“Who wants to go first?” she asks.

Lindsay and Taylor look at me, and I shake my head.

“No way! You guys have done this before. Someone else do it.”

Taylor shrugs and then settles on the floor opposite from Ashley. I look over at Audra, who appears indifferent to the proceedings, before returning my attention to Ashley and Taylor as they place their fingers at the edges of the moveable piece. They close their eyes.

“Oh, Ouija board, what kind of take-out is my witch of a stepmother going to order for dinner tomorrow?” Taylor asks somberly.

Lindsay and I burst into laughter, and Ashley opens her eyes.

“Taylor! Would you be serious?!” she scolds.

“Okay, okay,” Taylor laughs, closing her eyes again. “Am I going to get into USC?”

“That’s better,” Ashley mutters. “And no moving the piece!”

“We cheat all the time,” Lindsay whispers loudly. “If we didn’t, we’d end up sitting here all night waiting for that thing to move a millimeter.”

Ashley shushes her, and then we sit and wait. When the piece begins moving slowly, Lindsay nudges me meaningfully. I’m fully expecting the piece to land on “yes” in the upper left corner, but it doesn’t. Instead, it hovers over “hello” before quickly moving toward the “W.” When it crosses the “R,” I stop smiling. At “E,” I’m shaking. When it finally stops on the “N,” my palms begin to sweat.

The piece abruptly stops moving, and Taylor opens her eyes and looks right at me. Her eyes are coal black with a tiny white pinprick of light at the center. When she smiles widely, I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming. The next second her eyes are completely normal, and I look around. Nobody else is screaming or panicking, which means I’m the only one who saw her. Then I notice Audra, sitting inhumanly still, and staring right at Taylor. She saw it, too. It wasn’t my imagination. Ashley opens her eyes and looks at us.

“Well?” she asks.

“Were you moving it?” Lindsay demands.

“No! I swear. What’d it spell?”

Lindsay, her face pale in contrast to her shockingly pinkish-red hair, looks back at me.

“
Hello, Wren
,” she says with a shiver.

I force a rusty laugh out of my throat.

“No way, Lindsay. It went to the O, not the N. Right, Audra?”

“I don’t even think it was the W. I think it was more the V,” she says calmly, her azure eyes still icy and emotionless. “Does anyone want ice cream?”

I nod, pretending for all I’m worth that some shapeless being didn’t just possess my friend and call me out by name.

“Definitely,” I smile.

P
eople make choices without knowing where they will lead. Some barely make a ripple; others will change lives forever. I made a choice. And now, even if I took it back—even if I wished my hardest that Ever had never entered my life—it wouldn’t change my reality.

I have to accept the indisputable fact that something is coming for me, and the longer I stay here, the more I’m putting those closest to me in danger.

On Sunday morning during the drive back from Ever’s house, the only thing I can think over and over is:
I’m putting everyone in danger
. When Ashley pulls into my driveway, I see Ever’s car is parked at the curb in front of my house, and I’m sure Audra told him about last night. Or maybe he picked it up from my thoughts. Either way, he knows.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” I call.

I wave to Ashley, like everything is okay. Last night, after another movie and three pints of ice cream, everyone else, with the exception of Audra, quickly forgot about the Ouija board episode. Finally, after everyone else fell asleep, Audra told me the same thing that Ever did—that my presence is attracting all kinds of darkness seeking release into this world. She also said that as these entities get stronger, they’ll be able to possess more people and for longer. I waited for her to follow up that statement with something badass and fearless. Instead, she just looked tired, which scared me even more. For beings incapable of sleep, I imagine it’s only really bad news that can make them look worn-out.

The second I get to the front door, it opens. When I look up at Ever, I try not to lose the shaky grip I have on my sanity, mostly because my mom’s sitting on the couch right behind him.

“Did you guys have fun?” she asks cheerfully.

“Yeah, it was great,” I mumble. “I need a shower.”

I’m anxious to escape both of them and solidify the plan I spent the rest of the night thinking about. The plan to exit my life. My mom frowns at me, but at least she can’t read my mind—unlike Ever, who is watching me with a guarded expression. I manage a small smile before taking the stairs two at a time. In my room, I grab some clean clothes and head straight into the bathroom where I turn on the water, strip off my clothes, and step into the shower. I stand under the hot water and let my tears flow. But instead of feeling a relief from the pressure building up inside me, I feel like I could keep crying forever.

I’m not crying from fear. It’s guilt that’s eating away at me. To my mom and my friends, I’m as dangerous as a drunk driver or a serial killer. Because of me they could die, or worse. I’m not a brave person—not by far—and I don’t want to die, but I can’t let other people get hurt as a result of my choices.

Turning off the water, I feel numbness settle over me as I begin to let go of moments I had started to look forward to. A future with Ever, lunches with my friends, silly moments with my mom, even sparring with Audra and Chasen.

I am better off alone, far away from the people I care about, and I have to accept that fact.

Back in my room, I look around. I loved my life in Portland. Brief as it was, my time here was all I could have wished for—and more that I never could have expected in a million years. Suddenly afraid that I’ll lose my nerve, I pick up my cell phone. Scrolling through the short list of numbers to my dad’s, I press send and hope fervently that he’ll pick up.

“Wren?” he asks in surprise.

I bite my lip and try to bury my dread.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Everything’s fine. It’s just that …” I take a deep breath. “I want to come down.”

“For spring break,” he says.

Just then I remember that the break is right after the dance.

“Yeah, but I want to stay. I mean, come down there to live. Permanently.”

There’s a long pause.

“Wren, we don’t live close enough for you to go back to Pali—”

“I don’t care! I just want to leave!” I blurt.

He’s silent again for several seconds, and I’m afraid he’s going to argue or refuse.

“Why don’t you talk to you mom first and give me a call in a few days?”

“You don’t want me to come back, do you?”

“It’s not that, Wrennie. … But I’m sure your mom doesn’t want you to leave, and wouldn’t it be better to finish out the semester? You could come down here for summer.”

“Please,” I beg.

There’s another pause, and I wait for him to argue some more.

“All right,” he sighs. “I’ll try to make a flight for the end of the week. But I don’t think the break for Capistrano Unified starts until a couple of weeks … so you’ll have to go to school the Monday after you get here.”

That’s nothing compared to giving up my life here.

“That’s fine,” I whisper. “Thank you.”

Ending the call and setting the phone on the bed, I stand up and walk out of my room. At the landing, I turn and look into the mirror at the top of the stairs. In it, all I see is my own reflection looking back. It’s an expressionless, hardened version of me. When I get downstairs, Ever is standing there waiting for me, and I realize my mom must be in the kitchen.

“Don’t do this,” Ever says quietly before I can say a word.

Harnessing every last bit of fury in me, I stalk toward him.

“No!
You
don’t get to tell me what to do, you lying jerk!” I yell. “Now get out! I never want to see you again!”

My mom rushes into the living room, staring back and forth between us as Ever walks toward me. Sidestepping him, I swing open the front door. When he stops in front of me and holds his ground, I start to shake and then nearly crumple at the sound of his voice in my head.

Wren, you don’t have to do this. Don’t destroy your life. We can help. We
will
protect your mom.

I can’t stop shaking, just like I can’t stop the tears, but I still manage to keep my face empty until he finally begins walking toward the door. My mom is standing completely still behind me, and I know what I’m going to do next will take a piece of my soul. The second Ever’s gone, I slam the door and turn on my mom.

“Honey!” she cries in dismay. “Have you lost your mind? What on Earth did you do that for? That boy would do anything for you!”

I sneer.

“Anything except tell me the
truth
. But I guess that’s something you two have in common.”

I stare at her icily, and my mom’s eyes widen in shock, but not because she’s realized I can read her mind. In her clear blue eyes, I see it: a necklace—a nice one, sitting on top of her dresser. A name and a face pops into her head.
Dave
. She’s dating someone. I want to tell her how happy I am for her, ask her why she didn’t tell me. But instead, I bury the impulse and go on the attack.

“You think I didn’t notice your new piece of jewelry on the dresser? Like I’m stupid?! And let me guess! You’re going to do the same damn thing Dad did—new family and, surprise! No room for me! Well, screw that!” I spit venomously, the tears flowing freely.

“Oh, sweetie. I would never—”

She rushes toward me with her arms out, but I hold up my hand.

“Forget it. I’m going back to California. I already called Dad. At least I know where I stand with him. But
you
—you let me down!”

I turn away from her and start walking toward the front door. I hate myself for what I just said, for what I just did to my mom. But I’ve gone too far to take it back, and there’s a sense of relief in the fact that there is no turning back. I have effectively ended my life and everything I care about, hurting my mom so badly that she may not even care if I never come back. Shoving on my shoes, I open the door and stalk out, slamming it shut behind me without daring to look at my mom again.

Without a jacket, I barely make it to the sidewalk before the cold sets in. The wind is whipping through the evergreens surrounding our street and cutting right through my sweater. By the time I reach the corner, my teeth are chattering, maybe from shock. I look down. My hands are purple. When a car pulls up next to me, I walk over and get in. Closing the door after me, I turn and look at Ever.

“I’m sorry. … But if I didn’t do it now, I would have lost my nerve. And I can’t stay here. I just can’t. Someone will get hurt, or worse. Because of me.”

I shake my head, a sob catching in my throat.

“Wren, no one’s been hurt,” Ever says, reaching out to touch my face.

I shake him off.

“
Yet
! Someone kidnapped Ashley and held her ransom all to make some sick deal with me—and then some … some
thing
,” I shudder, “possessed Taylor! I mean, what happens the next time? You and the others can’t be everywhere at once, can you?”

“We can come close,” he says with a small smile.

“And protect everyone I’ve ever known?” I gulp.

“It won’t come to that.”

“How can you know?!”

“Wren, you have to trust me.”

I shake my head bitterly. I thought that when I made the deal with Alex I was protecting those around me. Now I realize that there was no deal to be made. I am a useful tool, a commodity—not just to Alex, but to whatever is lurking beyond this world, waiting to use me.

“It’s not about that! This is about me putting people in danger. I won’t do it anymore. Do you understand me? I’m a ticking time bomb!”

“And you think leaving is going to solve anything? Going somewhere else?”

“You said you could keep me hidden. I mean, when Audra and Chasen got here, they didn’t even know about me—”

“It’s not that simple,” Ever says. “You would still be in danger.”

Another idea strikes me, and I feel the frenzy of possibility take over my rational side.

“What if you destroyed that part of my mind? Made me useless to them? You said you’ve done it before.”

He shakes his head, his expression pained.

“I could kill you,” he whispers.

“What about what Alex did? He disrupted my memories, made it hard for even you to find me. You could try to do the same thing, get rid of my memory of all this supernatural stuff. That way no one gets hurt …”
except me
. “And I start over again.”

Ever’s face darkens.

“You would risk losing your memory—of us—forever?”

My stomach is in knots, and I want to scream. I don’t have any good answers. Do I want to give up my life again—throw away everyone and everything that I care about? No! Absolutely not. But it makes me weak if I put those closest to me in danger, because they can be used as leverage. I’ll be stronger alone, because I’ll have nothing left to lose. When my father left, he said it would be better this way, and I remember thinking that he meant better for
him
. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he truly meant better for everyone.

“Yes,” I answer quietly.

I reach for the door, but Ever catches my other hand before I can pull away. The car’s interior is very warm, and his touch is like hot metal on my skin. His fingers intertwine with mine, and I close my eyes, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks. He reaches up with his other hand, his fingertips tracing the contours of my face. When his lips finally graze mine, I wrap my hands around his neck, trying to root myself in this moment. Instantly, his other hand reaches around and pulls me closer, and I gasp for breath. Then, with no effort, he lifts me across the center console into his lap, and I stop breathing entirely. I’m facing him, and we’re only inches apart as he takes my face between his palms. Seconds after his lips touch mine again, his hands fall to my hips urging me closer. I shudder, and it takes all my strength to pull back and look into Ever’s burning green eyes.

“I’ve waited for you too long to give up so easily,” he says.

He draws me to him again, but the urgency and desperation I feel in his touch scares me. I jerk away, trying to recover my sanity.

“We can leave here,” he whispers in my ear. “Just the two of us. I’ll keep you safe.”

I feel a brief moment of indecision laced with temptation before shaking my head. I’ve made my decision. My breathing is raspy and jagged as I try to say something. But what is there left to say? I wrench open his door and stumble away from him onto the pavement, shaking off his hand when he steadies me. I start running, and I don’t stop until I reach the house. Stepping through the front door, I keep my head down, refusing to look at my mom, because I know her wounded expression would cut through me like a knife.

Upstairs, I turn on my music and keep telling myself over and over that I did the right thing. My mom knocks once on my door before the end of the night, so I turn up my music. I just want this to be over. By the time I get to school on Monday, I’ve perfected the blank expression I saw so many times on Ever’s face when I first got here. For the rest of the week, I pretend like nothing is wrong—except for the part where I ignore the people closest to me. I avoid my mom at all costs, relieved for once that she works nights most of the week. And during school, I pretend like Ever and I are in a fight, which is easy to do, because just looking at him makes me want to break down in tears.