Never Say Goodbye (Rebel Walking #6) (24 page)

Chapter Four

Luke

Seeing the girls again is surreal.  I feel like Lilly should follow in behind them at any moment, but she won't.  I'm trying like hell to bottle these feelings up and let this day be a great one.  I have a feeling this will be a day full of reminders of her.  How could it not be, this was our world.  It was what we did.  These were our people.  Our family.  Our friends.  

"You okay?"  Kimber steps close to me, giving me a reassuring look and reminder that she's here.  I'll have to work like hell to make it seem like I'm not struggling with all of this.  I don't want her to feel any less important to me as I try to cope with the tragedy of losing Lilly.  

The fact is, I haven't really dealt with it.  I ran from it.  I avoided anything that would remind me of her knowing it would hurt so fucking much to face it all.  Now I'm diving straight into it all and I just hope I'm prepared for what comes my way.

We step up into Eaven's truck, allowing her to continue to warn me about ever leaving again.  I've missed her.  She's like a sister to me.

"I need time with you soon.  I want to do lunch or something very soon, Luke."

"Alright.  Just tell me when and I'll meet you."

"And Kimber, Ivy and I will plan a day of spoiling you.  I'll show you all the important places you need to know about here.  Just let me know if you ever need anything and I'll help you."

"Our stuff won't arrive ‘til tomorrow, but I think I have everything I'll need."  

"Ev.  Calm down.  They're gonna be here for a long time.  Just chill."  Talon slides his hand across the seat and pulls her attention to him.

"I can't chill.  I've been worried sick over him."

"I know, but he's here now."

"Fine.  Luke, Mrs. Walker wants to know if the two of you would like to stay at her house for a few nights, but of course Talon and I would love to have you stay with us."

"I still have my place.  We'll probably just stay there."  Shit.  My place.  The house that will not let me escape Lilly whatsoever.  The place we spent many hours working on music together.  So many memories of us from before we started to really become a thing.  "Uh, we'll see how the night goes.  We may take you up on that offer."

"Anytime.  It's always an open door for you two."  

"Thanks Eaven.  I appreciate your kindness."  Kimber smiles oddly at me and I'm positive she can see my internal struggle.

"Anytime!  You're one of us now!  If Luke brings you home, then I'll accept you with open arms."  She stops talking for a few minutes before she starts up again.   The silence in the truck is awkward.  

"Luke, will you be joining the guys at the studio tomorrow?"  She looks through the rear view mirror for my response.  "Because if you are, that'll be a great time for me to show Kimber around and make sure she's all settled in.  I could even bring her by the studio to see you in action."

"Ev.  Shit.  He's not sure what he's doing yet.  Give him a minute to breathe and take all of this in."

"He's had six months.  He needs to get right back into it."  I have to stop her.  She won’t stop until I do.

"Eaven.  I'm just not sure if I can handle that yet.  It's just too much.  Can you just give me a little time?  That's all I need, is time."  She raises in her seat to look at me again through the mirror.  Her eyes are sad and I know she just wants to do what she can to get me back to normal, but that normal for me died when Lilly did.  I can't go back like nothing ever happened and live a future that Lilly and I had worked so hard for.  

"How about I go with the two of you tomorrow and we see where the day takes us?"  I'm thinking that spending the day with her will detour her from any further talk about the studio, even if it's only temporary.

"Deal.  I need to go over a few things with you anyway."

"Like what?"

"You have a shit ton of fan mail.  I tried to sort through the important stuff.  I kept your bills paid out of your account, but we can talk about all of that later."

"Sounds good."  

"We're here.  Prepare to be spoiled!"

We walk into the back yard and we're bombarded with old friends of mine.  My brother is here and when I look toward the house, I see my parents.  
Shit.
 This is going to suck.

"Alright.  Alright.  Give us some space and let me just talk to everyone at once."  They all get quiet and move closer.

"As you all know, I've been gone for six months.  I needed to get away from everything when Lilly died.  For obvious reasons, it was just too much to stay here.  I needed a clean break to get through it, so that's what I did.  I found a shitty apartment, a shitty job, and a bike in California to get me through the daily grind.  I met Kimber there and we moved in together.  She's decided to move here with me, so I'd like you all to welcome her."  I look at everyone's excitement as they try to process all of this.

"How'd you become a fighter?"  my brother yells over the crowd.

"Well, it's a long story, but I'm not a fighter.  I just tried it out for one fight."

"He's a badass fighter.  We witnessed his insanity."  Taron steps up next to me and puts his arm over my shoulder.  It's his way of letting me know that I'm not alone.

"Well, I did kick that guy’s ass."  There's laughter throughout the crowd.  

"Yes you did, my friend.  It was intense.  I'd think twice about going at it with ya."  

"Taron, you don't have a chance in hell against him."  Talon stands next to Kimber.  

"Before any of you ask, I'm not here to get back on stage.  I won’t return as a guitarist, so please respect that decision.  I've answered enough questions about it today and I just want to have fun with everyone and face what tomorrow brings... tomorrow."

I see Holden standing next to a woman and decide to step toward his new catch to meet her.  I can't think of any female that Holden has brought into the group, so this is a big deal for him.

"Luke, meet Lyndsey.  Lyndsey, meet Luke and Kimber."  She extends her arms and leans in to hug both Kimber and I.  I don't get a chance to really see what she's like because as soon as that hug is over, I'm pulled aside for many more.  

My mom grabs me by the waist and hugs me tight while my dad wraps his arms around me too.  My family and friends apparently missed me more than I thought.  I feel a pang of regret for leaving them all like I did without any information about whether I was alive or dead.

I've been such a secluded hermit for months now, this all seems overwhelming and I let a few minutes pass before I pull Kimber to the side and we make a break for the kitchen.  Mrs. Walker will keep things calm.

"Hello Luke!  You, my boy, have been a hot topic of many conversations over the past six months.  How are you?"  

"Mrs. W.  I'm good.  I'm going to make it."

"Of course you are.  We're here to help make sure of that.  Now is this the Kimber I've heard a few things about?"

"Yes, ma'am."  I proudly introduce the two of them.  My mother walks into the house and joins us.  I feel almost happy.  I feel like I might just be able to function here.    

"Luke, can I grab you for a minute?"  Eaven walks in and pulls me out of the room.  We make it down the hall and into a study before she pulls me into the room.

"I want to make sure you're okay.  I feel like you're not and I'm worried."

"Ev, I'm as good as I can be."

"I know.  God, I miss her so much."  Her eyes begin to tear and I refuse to let this turn into a cry fest because honestly, I'm too close to that myself with all the memories floating around today.

"Every single day."

"Oh, Luke.  I'm so sorry."

"I know.  Let's just get out there and try to have some fun.  I need fun in my life more than you know."

"So this Kimber, do you love her?"

"Yes."  I answer without hesitation.  I do.  We've been through so much together and I do love her.

"That's great!  I'm so happy for you.  You deserve to be happy, Luke."

"Thanks.  So how is married life?"

"It's amazing!  He's so good to me.  I have a secret."  She smiles ridiculously and I have a guess, but I would hate it if I was wrong, so I act clueless.

"Oh yeah?"  

"I'm pregnant.  I haven't told Talon yet, so don't slip and say something.  I've been waiting to tell him ‘til all of this was over.  So he will know in the next few days, but I'm just so excited to see you that I felt the need to share my news with you."

"Wow, Ev!  I'm so happy for you both.  He will be a great dad to your baby!"

"He will."  Her squeeze around my waist is tight.  I know she's one of the main people that I tortured by running.

"Ev, I'm so sorry for leaving like I did.  I just needed to get away from everything.  I couldn't fucking breathe and running felt better than standing still."

"I get it.  I really do.  Hell, I wanted to run with you some days.  She was a great woman."

"She was."

"Promise me that will never happen again."

"Promise.  I'll always let you know where I go."

"Are you two going to eat?  The food is ready."  Mr. Walker steps through the study door and leads us back into the crowd of people.  I see Kimber working with Mrs. W. and I can see right away that she will fit in perfectly with this group.  

Chapter Five

Kimber

Meeting all of Luke's friends has been a whirlwind.  So many people missed him and that's apparent by how many showed up tonight.  I keep catching myself watching him smile.  He didn't smile like this in California.  In fact, I’ve only witnessed that smile a time or two the whole time I've known him.

He catches me watching him and begins to move toward me.  

"Are you ready to go?"

"Just whenever you are.  I'm good."

"What do you think of all these people?"

"You're loved, Luke.  You should embrace this and enjoy spending time with all the people who miss you."

"I am.  Are you having fun?"

"I'm having a great time.  Go.  I'm about to have a few drinks with the girls."

"Alright, but later tonight, you're mine.  I want you all to myself."  He says this while groping my ass and pulling me close.  We've never been around people for me to see if his public display is normal or completely out of character.  

I'm not used to it though.  My relationships have always been so straight laced in the public eye, so it's different for me to be with someone who shows affection like this.  His kiss deepens and I work to stay with him.  I don't want him to think I'm not completely fine in this moment.  This night is about him.  I'll get used to his ways and will learn to love them.

"Kimber, thank you for helping me get back to me.  It's been a long battle and without you, I couldn't have done it."

"You're welcome.  You know you've helped me along the way too.  I think we might just be great for each other."

"I agree."

"Okay you two love birds, It's time we steal Kimber."  Ivy walks up behind Luke and pulls my hand until I'm walking away from Luke.  He smiles and waves at me as I go willingly outside with her.  

She sits down at a table with an empty chair between the one she sat in and Eaven.  I follow her lead and take a seat.  

"So, who's ready for a shot?"  Ivy begins to pour tequila into shot glasses and I cringe at the thought of the nastiness that is about to go down my throat.  Damn, I really hate this stuff.

"We need a toast!"  Eaven looks at Ivy as she continues to pass out the tiny glasses.

"I can do toasts all night long.  Just be prepared to drink to everything I need to toast."

"Kimber, she's the toast queen.  She'll pull some crazy shit out of her ass."

"Glasses up, bitches.  This one is going to be an easy one.  I'm sorry for the lack of creativity, but due to the circumstances of the night, I think this toast is only fitting."  We all raise the shots in the air over the middle of the table and wait for her to continue.  "To having Luke back and gaining a new friend in Kimber.  May they have half as much fun with their relationship that I do with Taron."  We all lean back and drink, and Ivy pulls my hand, drawing me closer to her.  "I say that, because even with half, you're in for the time of your life.  Welcome to the family!"

Eaven sits her shot glass down beside mine and I notice the shine from the liquid just as Ivy does.  We both look at Eaven, and a smile lights up her face.  She holds a finger over over her lips, as if she's begging me to stay quiet.

"I can't drink, but no one can know that here until I get a chance to tell Talon."

I feel genuine excitement for her.  She looks so excited and I know this is a great thing to happen when two people are in love.  It seems like love is very prominent with this group, so I know it's a great thing.

"Sorry, I need to see what he needs.  I'll be right back."  I sit with Ivy as she starts to sway her foot back and forth.  

"I hear you have a sweet baby girl."

"I do.  She's a mess.  She's with a sitter tonight, so we'll have to leave soon.  Taron and I don't do that very often, but we wanted to enjoy Luke's return.  Babies are a handful at things like this."

I bow my head as she talks about her baby.  I think about how different things would be right now if I hadn't lost mine.  I know Luke would've accepted me all the same, but life would definitely be more complicated.  I wouldn't have been able to escape California this easily.  I'm positive I would've had someone following me, claiming his child.  

I'd go through every bit of the nightmare that would be if I could go back in time and save the baby.  I'd do it in a second.

"Do you have a child?"  Ivy's question surprises me and I try to find a way to tell her without crying.

"No.  I lost my baby."

"I'm so sorry to hear that.  Maybe you'll have another chance."

"I'm sure I will.  I'm not in any hurry."

"Shit, neither was I and now I can't even imagine my life without her."

"You'll have to introduce me to her one day."

"Oh, I will for sure.  She's usually with us everywhere we go.  So I'm sure the next time you see us, she'll be the one bossing us around."

"I look forward to it!"

"Do you want to go back inside with me?  We can find the guys and see what they're up to!"

"Sure."  

We walk into pure chaos as Taron and Luke are playing some sort of game with a ping pong ball and a door.  I step up behind Luke and he pulls me close just after he celebrates some sort of victory.  

"Double or nothing!"  Taron yells before he chugs a cup from his end of the door.  I look at the contraption they've created and notice it really is a door being used as the table, red Solo cups, and a ping pong ball.  

"How about we let the girls battle it out for us.  I'll let Kimber in and you let Ivy take your side."

"Ah shit.  Do you know what you're saying?  Hell, I wouldn't go against Ivy myself."

"Ehh.  I have a feeling my Kimber can handle it."  He turns to me and whispers in my ear,  "Tell me you drink beer."

"Uh.  Not usually, but I did in my day.  A girl doesn't grow up around a bunch of men and not be able to hold her own on stuff like this."

"Ok.  All you have to do is land that ball in her cup before she does.  It's all about the bounce."

"Easy enough.  What do we win if I beat her?"

"The most important thing.  Bragging rights.  Taron will be a pain in my ass if we don't win this."  

"Well, that's not any pressure.  At least we're playing for the big stuff tonight."

"It is!"  He kisses me and I taste beer on his lips.

"Hmmm.  Tequila.  Tell me they've got you near trashed and you're almost ready to go find a bed with me."

"Almost."  I laugh.  One shot of tequila is a far cry from how many I'd need to be 'trashed', but we won’t go into all of that right now.  

"Okay.  Good.  Now chug that beer like you've done it your whole life!"  It's insane to see him this determined over a game involving beer.  He's obviously had a few drinks tonight.  I'm not complaining, I actually like seeing him so care free for once.

"Ivy, it looks like you're about to drink some beer."

"Kimber.  Don't cry when I kick your ass."  She smiles and winks at me before she tosses a ping pong ball on the table, bouncing it straight into the cup at the front of my triangle of cups.  

I look at Luke for a clue of what to do and he's pretending to chug a beer, so I do just that.  Dropping the ping pong ball on the table when I finish, I begin to line up my own shot.  Mine lands in a cup on the right.

"Nice shot."  We continue back and forth until she misses her last cup.  I have one shot at this because I know she'll nail the next one.  Taron steps up next to her, I'm sure as a distraction.  It's a good thing I've trained in focus and observation my whole life.

I focus on the cup and bounce the ball on the table directly in front of it, landing perfectly.  The room becomes even louder and I see Taron laughing with Luke as they all make Ivy drink the last cup.  

"She doesn't usually lose, so this is new for her."  

"I don't mind losing against a woman, I'm just not going to let one of you beat me.  Hell, we haven't played this game in forever."  

"Yeah.  We're getting a little dusty for our age."  Taron kisses Ivy and my heart melts a little as I watch his soft side open right up with her.  "Luke, my friend, it's great to have you back.  I can't wait to spend a few more nights like this with you."

"Sure thing.  Let me get settled in and we can have something at our place."

"Perfect plan, man.  We're gonna hit the road.  We need to get our little Heaven to bed."  Taron slaps him on the back in a man hug and Ivy leans in to me and we exchange our own hugs.  

"Let's get together soon, Kimber.  Eaven and I want to take you out for a pamper day.  We'll make Lyndsey join us, even though she'll try to act busy and shit."  Lyndsey smiles as she walks up.  Ivy teasing her doesn't break her down one bit.  

"I look forward to it!"

Holden and Lyndsey start to say their goodbyes and I begin to think this day might be coming to a close.  I'm so exhausted, and could really use a bed right about now.  

"It was great to meet you.  Please let Holden know if you need anything.  I'll be in touch soon, but feel free to call if you need anything.  We're here to help."  I've never in my life been around so many people who sincerely want us to be happy here.  My heart is filling by the second and I'm so happy they've accepted me, or at least it seems.