Never Say Goodbye (4 page)

“What the hell Liv, why are you asking me this
?” he yells through the phone.

“I don’t want to be a distraction for you
, but I want to know that I still matter. It’s not easy like it used to be; now we’re hundreds of miles apart. I want to know that you still want the same things as I do,” I say hastily.

“Look Liv
, I know you have things going on there with school and your sorority and I have football; I do want the same things as you baby but…” and then there’s nothing but silence.

“But what?”
I ask.

“Look Liv, I love you I do, I ju
st don’t have the time to have the relationship you want right now. Baby, football and school keep me so busy I barely have enough time to sleep. It’s not fair to you because you do deserve my attention and right now, I just can’t give it to you," he says sadly into the phone.

I’m speechless, absolutely speechless. Here is the man who told me to try to have a relati
onship with him even though we’re so far apart only to come back at me a few months later and says he can’t do it anymore. “Ryan is there someone else?” I ask nervously. I know it’s not the right thing to ask, but I need to know.

“No babe there’s
no one else. I honestly have no time for anything other than football and school. Liv, I love you,” he says with sadness in his voice.

“I
’ll let you go, I need to finish a paper," I lie, but I can’t sit on the phone any longer with him right now.

“Okay babe. I’ll ta
lk to you soon.”

“Y
eah sure, night Ryan,” I say and then hang up before he has a chance to say anything back.

As much as I knew it would be hard to have a relationship with so many miles between us, I thought our love was strong enough that we would make it. Obviously
, I’m delusional. I decide to check stuff out on the internet to try to take my mind off of what just happened and that’s when I see it. On Facebook, Ryan, my boyfriend, with another girl in his arms and his lips on hers, he lied to me. He doesn’t want to have a relationship with me. I shut the computer down and spend the rest of the night crying. This man lied to me and just broke my heart.

Sometime later Brynn comes in. “You awake Liv?” she asks.

“I am now, how was your date?” I ask as she turns on the light that’s on the desk by her bed.

“Oh my gosh I need to tell you about…What the hell Liv
, were you crying?” she asks worriedly.

“I’m
fine B, tell me about your date,” I say trying to sound enthusiastic when I feel anything but.

“T
hat can wait, why were you crying Liv, what happened?” The tone in her voice tells me she’s not going to let it go so I give in.

“Ryan and I broke up.”

“WHAT,” she practically yells.

“We broke up
Brynn; he can’t focus on having a relationship while trying to focus on football, but he has no problem kissing other girls,” I say sadly.

“Oh honey I’m so sorry,
” she says as she sits on my bed and hugs me.

My tears start up again and I can’t help it, I cry on her shoulder. “I’m sorry B
, I want to hear about your date with Chad,” I say to try to lighten the mood.

“Honey
, you don’t want to hear about a date when you’re hurting because of a boy. Our talk about Chad can wait. Let me change and then we can watch funny movies and eat all the junk food we have,” she says trying to cheer me up. My best friend definitely knows how to make me smile.

“Thanks B,
” I say as she looks for her pajamas. She changes and then we spend the next few hours munching on our goodies and watching silly movies that make us laugh like little girls. Thank god for best friends.

The next few weeks drag on and
I miss Ryan like crazy. We haven’t spoken since we broke up, I just can’t answer his phone calls. He called a few times and sends me numerous texts, but I’m ignoring them. I don’t know what to say, nothing’s going to change that we’re broken up so what’s the point? Why hurt myself more. Brynn told me not to respond and if I need her to get rid of him, she will. More like she told me she would personally kick his ass. I ignore him and throw myself into my schoolwork as much as possible. I can say my grades are awesome, but my personal life is non-existent. I haven’t attended any of our sorority functions. I just don’t feel like being around people. Not happy, boy-crazy people anyway.

Brynn tries
to pull me out of my mindset, but it’s not working. I don’t want to pull her down in my misery. She’s hanging out with Chad as much as possible and he seems like a really great guy. I’m happy with him, as long as he keeps putting that smile on my best friends face. As long as he continues to do that, we’ll be good.

“Okay
, listen clearly Olivia, because I’m only going to say this once,” Brynn says and I know it can’t be good because she never calls me Olivia.

“What’s up B?”

“We’re going home for Thanksgiving and when we come back you’re going to be out of this damn moping mode that you’re in, do you hear me?” she states like I don’t have a choice.

“I hear you B
,” I mumble back.

“No Liv
, I mean it. Enough is enough, I get you’re doing great in school, but you need to have a social life too. I want my happy, fun loving best friend back and I will do whatever means necessary to get her back,” she says looking me dead in the eyes.

“Umm Brynn
, I’m right here,” I state matter of fact.

“No Liv
, you’re a shell of a person and have been this way for weeks. I’ll give you Thanksgiving break, but then that’s it, I’m done. I will break you of this stupid heartbreak and make you whole again,” she says confidently.

“Thanks B, I love you
and thanks for being my best friend,” I say with a small smile.

“I love you to
Liv and I want you to be happy,” she says as she hugs me.

“I know
, and I will be, I promise.”

“Good.”

We go home for Thanksgiving break. It’s great to be home and see my family. Gosh, how I miss them. I don’t have to worry about Ryan coming home, because well he can’t, he has football over the holidays so there’s one plus thing on my side. I’m not sure how I’d feel if I saw him right now. Would I melt back into him or would I be angry with him? I know it’s hard to have a relationship with the distance, but I gave it a try because he asked me to and then he called it quits so quickly. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he would rather be living the single life in college. If so, at least be honest with me about it. Ugh, I hate the not knowing crap.

Going home for Thanksgivings
is great, but it goes by way too fast. Seeing my parents and hanging out is fun, but Brynn and I are heading back to school before we know it.

“Do you think this looks okay over here?” Brynn asks as she’s hanging Christmas decorations al
l around our dorm room.

“Yeah it looks good right there,
” I say. Our room looks like Christmas vomited all over. I won’t say anything because I know how much B loves her holidays and decorations. She’s always been big on decorations, so I just go with it. It’s festive anyway. After what feels like hours, we are finally all decorated and ready for the Christmas season, at least in our room we are.

“What are your plans toni
ght Brynn?” I ask curiously. I’m out of my selfish funk and attend our sorority events, but that’s really it. Brynn tries to get me to go to some of our schools sporting events though I’m just not into it right now. Obviously, that’s crazy because I love me some sports. I plan on going to the basketball games soon, so she shuts up. She’s happy because she’s still going strong with Chad and he plays on the team. So it’s a win-win situation.

“Oh
, Chad’s basketball buddies are all going to a club tonight, you should totally come with me Liv, we can have so much fun,” she says excitedly.

“Sure
, that sounds like fun,” I tell her.

“Seriously Liv?”
she looks at me in complete shock.

“
What?” I ask.

“You’
re really going to come with me this time?” she asks eagerly.

“Yeah sure, it’s not like I
have any other plans,” I state.

“
Woohoo, my best friend is officially 100 percent back. Oh we are definitely celebrating tonight,” she practically squeals. All I can do is laugh at my best friend.

We end up running behind schedule trying to get ready for the club because Brynn declares she has to pick out my outf
it. I swear I try on 50 outfits until she finally settles on one. We end up meeting Chad at the club. We take a cab so we don’t have to worry about driving, because we’ll be drinking tonight. Brynn also scored me a fake id; I didn’t bother asking how or where she got it. Something’s are just left better unknown. The bar, called The Shakes is lit up on the outside and looks like a decent size club. We make our way inside and the place is packed. There are several different floors which all appear to be pretty crowded with a mix of milling college students and the locals that favorite the club on weekends.

“I’m texting Chad to find out where he’
s at,” she says as we make our way up to the bar to order some drinks.

Wh
ile Brynn’s texting I order her usual, which is cranberry and vodka while I order me a Miller Lite. I’m not a big fan of mixed drinks so I just stick with a simple beer. I get our drinks and hand hers over when she informs me she knows where he’s at. We make our way through the throng of people and head upstairs to the second floor.

“Hey babe,
” she says to Chad as he comes and embraces her in a hug and kisses her.

“Hey Liv, how are you?” h
e asks with a smile.

“I’m good Chad
, how about yourself?”

“I’m better now that this one’s here,” he says as he kisses my best friend again. I feel like this is going to be a long
evening, especially if they plan to make out all night.

We make our way
back to the tables that are set-up and already full of basketball players along with some drunken girls that have joined them. Chad introduces me to some of the guys and I make small talk with a few of them. I must say some of these guys are hot. Clearly Brynn sees me checking them out.

“See one you like best fr
iend? I can totally hook you up,” she says with a huge smile.

“
I’m good B, just admiring the view,” I say laughing.

“Well
, if you change your mind just let me know and I will be on that shit for you.”

“I don’t doubt that for one second,” I
say as we both start giggling.

We end up having a few shots and a couple more drinks before Bry
nn decides it’s time to dance.

“Oh come on
Livie it’s time to shake it up,” she says, making a pun of the club name as she grabs my hand and starts pulling me in the direction of the dance floor. Chad is sitting with his friends, but I can see he’s clearly watching my best friend on the dance floor.

“Hey Brynn, you have an audience,” I say nodding in the direction of Chad.

“Oh Liv, if he wants a show I’ll give him one,” she says as she pulls me towards her and starts dancing sexually with me to get him all riled up. This is my best friend and this is what she does, but I love her so I go along with her show. As the songs change, we continue to match the pace and soon I realize we have a bigger audience than just Chad. Soon the whistling and shouts are coming our way, we just live it up and continue dancing seductively for all who want to watch. Eventually, my throat is parched and I pull my best friend off the dance floor so we can get another drink.

“Damn that was fun. Liv
, we need to do this more often, I miss this,” she says to me as we walk towards the bar. I order our drinks and then we make our way back to Chad.

“Damn girls
, got the entire bar hard as hell,” Chad says laughing. Then he proceeds to kiss my best friend yet again.

“He’s not kidding
, you ladies sure know how to put on a show,” Chad’s friend Rob says.

“We’
re just having fun,” Brynn tells them.

“Well if that’s
just fun, please feel free to continue to do that anytime anyplace. You just let me know and I’ll be there,” he says with a huge goofy grin on his face.

“Watch it Rob, she’s taken,” Chad tells him as he wraps hi
s arm around Brynn’s shoulders.

“I may be take
n but my best friend here isn’t,” B says to the group of guys around us.

“Is that so?” Rob asks
stepping up to me. I just smile at him and try to give my best friend an evil eye. I’m not looking for a boyfriend or a one night stand either. I just want to have fun.

“Well if you’
re looking for something, then I think I may be your man Liv,” Rob says.