Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set (13 page)

“No, I didn’t say that. But you need to find a way to convey your feelings without leaving the state.”

I shot her a look.

“He’s here, isn’t he?” she asked. “He came for you. When you told him it was over, he came for you. That speaks volumes.”

“Yeah. But he also let me leave.” The words spoken aloud were my fears. He always seemed to be okay with letting me walk away.

She shrugged. “You both needed some space for a bit.”

“How do you know all this?”

She smiled. “I have my ways.”

“Smith,” I said.

She nodded. “He’s one hot piece, isn’t he?”

“Why am I not surprised about this?”

“He popped by the hotel the night before I left.”

“I am so not ready for this conversation. I was coming in to tell you I’m going with Logan for the night.”

“I figured you would be.”

“Enjoy your book.” I kissed her cheek and went back to my room.

Logan was sitting on my bed on the phone. He smiled when I came in. “Great, we’ll be downstairs in five.”

I walked to my dresser to find something else to put on.

“Still good to come with me?” he asked hesitantly, like he was afraid Faith would have talked me out of it. It’s not like he should worry, Faith was totally on his side.

“Yeah. Were you afraid she would have talked me out of it?” I grabbed the first pair of jeans I laid my hands on and stepped out of my pajama pants. I didn’t miss the hungry look in Logan’s eyes as I pulled the jeans on.

“A bit. But I know Faith likes me.”

“Yeah, her and every other woman on the planet.” I rolled my eyes.

“Be nice.” He got up and hugged me. “I may have played around a lot, but I’m happy to be a one-woman man as long as you’re the woman.”

I didn’t want to start another fight, but part of me was still pissed off and I was lashing out. Maybe it was the fact that my own sister was taking his side that brought out my inner bitch. “I know you’re trying. I’m sorry.”

He pulled me down on the bed next to him. “This is all new for us. We don’t know how to be around each other right now. It’s going to be weird and awkward at times. But you’re worth it to me, we’re worth it.” He kissed me gently. “Let’s go, the car’s downstairs waiting.” He went out into the hall while I finished up.

I threw on a t shirt since I had no intention of leaving in my ratty pj top.

Faith was standing in the hall talking to Logan in hushed tones when I finally walked out.

“Remember what I said.” She gave him a stern look and blew me a kiss as we walked to the door.

“What was that about?” I questioned as we rode the elevator down.

“Nothing. Just Faith being a good sister.” He pressed a hand to the small of my back as we exited the building and slipped into the car.

I don’t know why I felt so anxious. He was the same guy I was ready to jump into bed with five hours earlier. An angry voice in my head was still screaming that I had let him off too easily. I tried to smother it with thoughts of how good he was going to make me feel once we officially made up.

“What are you thinking about?” He hooked an arm around my waist and slid me closer to him.

“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know,” I sighed and leaned against his shoulder. “I just want this to be easier.”

“Stop thinking so much. Just feel.”

“Easier said than done,” I grumbled.

“Is it? Tell me this, do you want to be with me?” He stroked a finger along my jaw.

“Yes,” I breathed.

“Then why is it so hard for you?”

“Trust. I don’t know who you are. It’s hard for me to give myself to someone who won’t trust me with who they are. This isn’t about the secret, I don’t even really care about that. This is about me feeling like you don’t trust me.” I fought the urge to cry. I desperately wanted him to understand me. To really get where I was coming from. Secrets were no good for a relationship.

“Kitten.” His eyes flashed something I didn’t quite understand.

“I’m here, Logan. That needs to be enough for you right now.” I tipped my lips up for him to kiss. I needed the connection.

“But I want more. All of you. I won’t settle for less.” He brushed his lips against mine.

I wanted to tell him that I wanted that, too. That I wanted everything. But I didn’t. Instead, I turned away and stared out the window. I was scared, this was real and messy. It was no longer the fantasy I had built up in my head. He was a real person, a real person with baggage.

“What are you so scared of?” His tone was soft.

“So much. Everything. You have your past, and I have mine.” I couldn’t bear to look at him. He always seemed to cut me to the core with just a look.

“Tell me.” He ran a finger along my cheek.

“My last relationship before you wasn’t exactly easy. Too many lies, not enough truth. I can’t go through that again. He cheated, a lot. I found at the end he was only with me because I looked good on paper. He told me I was boring, plain vanilla, and men like him needed more excitement in their sex lives. I don’t even know how many women there were.” The sadness returned, as if it was only yesterday and not two years ago. Scott had ruined me, made me hate myself. I didn’t want to bring that into this relationship, but it was hard not to.

“I’m not like that. I would never cheat on you. Never.” The strength in his voice made me want to believe him. But I had believed Scott once, too.

“How do I know that?” Tears welled and I wiped at them before they could fall.

“You’re just going to have to trust me,” he said gently.

I jerked at the word trust. You had to earn trust. I looked out the window, trying to gather my thoughts.

“Don’t pull away. At least for tonight, just let me hold you. I need to feel my arms around you. You can go back to being pissed tomorrow.”

I made the mistake of turning back to look at him. My heart almost stopped. This man, this captain of industry, was begging me to let him in. His smile was a punch to the gut.

“Just for tonight. Then we really figure this all out. I’m tired of fighting.”

“I don’t want to fight anymore at all. I just want us to make a fresh start here. I don’t want to keep secrets from you. I’ll do everything I can to be as honest as possible.”

It felt like we were going in circles. He wanted me, and I wanted everything. I would give him tonight.

I leaned into him again and let him put a Band-Aid on my worries with his softly spoken words and kisses pressed to my skin.

IN THE COLD LIGHT OF
day things looked bleak. I wanted to hold on to the night we had just spent together. It felt like a goodbye. One last ride before leaving. The more I held on, the more she pulled away. God, was this what it was like to be a chick? I was the one who pulled away, the one who needed space. I was thrown for a loop.

“I have to go home and change for work.” Grace pulled her jeans on.

“Can I give you a ride?”

She shook her head. “I’ll take a cab.”

“Grace.” I gave her a look that clearly said that was not happening.

“Fine, give me a ride then.” She huffed out a breath and searched for her shoes.

I got changed quickly and found her waiting by the door, an impatient look on her face. Gone was the sadness from the night before, and in its place was anger. I was ill equipped to deal with either.

The drive was awkward, neither of us knew how to be around each other at the moment.

“Will I see you tonight?” I asked when we pulled up to her building.

“I don’t know. Depends on how my day goes. I wouldn’t count on it. I’ve got a ton of work to do.” She was very noncommittal, very me. Our roles had reversed at some point in the night. I was the needy one, greedy for her time and attention.

“I’ll call you tonight. I’m going to be looking at apartments and office locations today. I’d like you to come, but I understand you have a lot on your plate.”

She moved to get out, and I snagged her arm before she was out of reach. I crushed my lips against hers, wanting her to remember this, remember us, all day long. “I’ll call you. Have a good day, Kitten.”

She smiled weakly and slid out of the car. I watched as she disappeared into the building.

Before the car left the curb, the other door opened and two women slid into the seat across from me. Faith I knew, the other I assumed was Hope; she had the DeLeo eyes.

“Faith, what can I do for you?” I was tired, and I didn’t want to have a heart to heart with the women sitting across from me.

“We’re going to breakfast. We have a lot to discuss. This is Hope, by the way. If you have any shot at keeping Grace, she needs to be in your corner. You have the morning to plead your case.”

Hope studied me from across the car, her mocha eyes calculating. “Tell me about yourself, Logan.” She crossed her arms.

“Think of this as a job interview,” Faith chimed in, a grin on her face.

“What do you want to know?”

“How many serious relationships have you been in?” She looked me square in the eyes.

“One, two counting your sister.”

“How old are you?” She cocked her head to the side.

“Thirty-five.”

“And you’ve only had one serious relationship?” she shot back.

“Never really wanted one. I like things simple. Relationships aren’t simple, they’re work.” I shrugged.

“Why Grace? What does she have that the rest didn’t?” Faith asked.

“You want to know why? I’ll tell you. She challenges me, makes me laugh, she’s everything I never knew I wanted until I met her. There was always something missing, something I was looking for. She was it. Once I saw her in the bar, heard her laugh, tasted her lips, it was over for me.”

“You were right.” Hope grinned and shoulder bumped her sister.

“Did I pass?” I smiled hopefully.

“Too soon to tell.” Hope chewed her lower lip, a habit Grace had.

We pulled up in front of whatever restaurant they had chosen. It looked like a family run diner. I looked up at the sign and groaned. It read DeLeo’s.

“You aren’t pulling any punches, are you?” I said wryly.

“Nope. You coming?” Hope held the door open and waited on the sidewalk.

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” I squared my shoulders and prepared to enter the lion’s den.

I followed the women inside, the place had a comfortable homey feel that made you instantly like it.

“Mom, you around?” Faith called.

“In the back.”

We followed the sound of her voice and found her in the small office by the kitchen.

“And who might you be?” She eyed me with interest.

“Logan McFadden.” I held out my hand.

“Love DeLeo, good to meet you. Are you the Logan my Grace is always talking about?”

I smiled. “That would be me.” I could see where Grace and her sisters got their looks from. Love DeLeo was beautiful, tall and thin like Faith, but with many of the same features as Grace.

“Come on. Let’s get some food, and we can talk.”

Instead of the dining room, we ate in the kitchen. I tried to be calm, but it wasn’t going to happen. The DeLeo women were a force to be reckoned with.

“How did you screw this up already?” Love looked at me with a penetrating stare.

I coughed on the bite in my mouth. “I see where Faith gets it from now.”

She smiled and nodded. “Answer please. I want to know if you’re worth it or not.”

“There are things in my life I just can’t share. Secrets that are not mine to reveal. Grace doesn’t need to know everything about my life the same way I don’t need to know everything about hers or what came before me.” I paused and gulped down some water. “I’m sure the girls have told you a bit about my past?”

Love nodded again.

“I’ve been running a multi-billion dollar empire since I was nineteen. Not a lot of people tell me no. I’m used to getting what I want, and women are usually what I want. I’ve never pretended to be anything but what I am. I have slept with a lot of women, more than I can count. Does that make me a bad guy? No. It makes me a normal guy. Now that I’ve met Grace, I don’t want any of that anymore. I don’t want her to always give in and tell me yes. I like the fight in her, I relish it. Her temper and strong will are what make her so appealing. I’m considering this a rough patch. I know we’ll get through it because I can’t bear to think of a reality where we don’t.”

Love looked at me thoughtfully. “I feel like you really didn’t answer my first question. That being said, I like the other things you said.”

“You want an answer? I’m not sure I have one. We’re in this place because my past came back to bite me in the ass. Nothing more than that. There are no other women, nothing like that at all.” I looked her in the eye.

“Well, I think I’m satisfied with those responses, Mom. How about you?” Hope leaned back in her chair.

“You already know my stance on this, or I wouldn’t have brought him here,” Faith chimed in as well.

After what felt like forever, Love finally answered. “Okay, I’m in.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding.

“You know she’s going to hate that we’re all conspiring against her in this.” Hope shook her head.

“Can’t be helped. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to save them from themselves. This is one of those times where Grace needs to be saved from throwing something amazing away,” Love answered.

“I’m happy I passed the test.”

“Don’t get too happy, honey. I’m still not a huge fan for the mere fact that my daughter came home in tears yesterday and you’re the cause of it.” She looked at me sternly.

“I’m here, aren’t I? I came as soon as it could be arranged and straight to her door. I hate that she’s upset, and I want to fix it. I’m not perfect, I know there will be many times I make her cry in the next twenty or thirty years.”

“Oh, so you’re thinking long term with this? Marriage, babies, all of that?” Hope arched a brow and gave me a look that said she didn’t quite believe me.

“Whatever she wants. I would lay the world at her feet to see her smile.”

“Oh God, I want to barf.” Faith rolled her eyes. “I told you he was into her. Imagine sharing a meal with them. I wanted to gag myself.”

“I’m sure this wasn’t what you had planned for the day was it?” Love asked me.

“No, I have a meeting with my realtor in a bit, but I can reschedule.”

“I think I got what I needed today. We’ll be in touch.” She stood up and patted my cheek as she walked back to her office.

“So, what did you think of her?” Faith asked.

“You know, I really liked her.”

“She can be terrifying,” Hope laughed.

“I didn’t say she didn’t scare the life out of me.” I grinned.

“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” Faith pushed her chair back and walked me out to my waiting car.

“Don’t take no for an answer. She’s going to want to push you away, so your job right now is to not let her.” She kissed my cheek and sent me on my way downtown to look at apartments.

LAST NIGHT WAS A MISTAKE
. I knew it the moment I woke up in his bed. I never should have gone with him. I would never get over him at this rate.

Faith wasn’t home when I had flown in like a tornado to frantically get showered and dressed before running off to the office.

The good thing about my job, besides the fact that I loved it, was that it would take my mind off Logan.

I had more paper than actual wood showing on my desk. I was knee deep in a project when a soft knock on my door made me emerge from my work.

He stood with his hip against the doorframe, wearing jeans and a t -shirt and looking way too hot.

“Can I take you to lunch?” Logan asked, coming into the office to kiss me.

It was hard to think with his scent all around me. “I don’t know, I wasn’t planning on taking a lunch today. I have too much to catch up on.”

“You have to eat.” He pulled my chair away from the desk.

I sighed and let him haul me to my feet. “Fine, but a quick one. I have too many fires to put out before the end of the day.” I pulled my coat on and grabbed my purse.

We stopped by my assistant's desk. “Karrie, I’ll be back in an hour. Call me if anything comes up that needs my attention.”

She smiled, clearly wanting to know who Logan was, but I didn’t offer up an explanation.

“Where would you like to go?” He slung his arm around my shoulders as we walked outside.

“Don’t care. Somewhere quick.” I knew I was being a bitch. I could literally feel the barb in each word.

“Kitten.” He stopped and tipped my lips up to his.

The kiss was angry. I could feel his emotions bubbling around under the surface. It was a clash of lips and teeth. I clawed at his clothes, wanting to push him away and pull him closer at the same time.

“Are you ready to play nice?” he panted.

“Sorry,” I muttered and let him lead me into the limo.

“So, what would you like to eat?”

“I don’t know, Chinese? I really don’t care.” I looked out the window, trying to get myself under control.

I didn’t pay attention to where we were going. He talked the whole time, and I just listened, not offering anything to the conversation.

I finally registered where we were when we walked through the lobby of his hotel.

“Uh, uh. We are not going to your hotel room for lunch.”

“Why not?” He grinned wickedly.

“Because sex isn’t lunch.”