Never Had a Dream Come True (25 page)

“Oh, this vexes me. Where can that young beau of yours be? And where is Richard? I most definitely thought he would have done something or other to end this farce, and yet here we stand, on the edge of ruining your life forever.”

“Lady Anna…”

The duchess threw out her hands in despair. “I can’t believe he will let you go through with this. I never thought I would actually have to make that darned announcement.”

That was news, indeed. Penny almost smiled over the duchess’s intrigues, but the seriousness of the situation took away all humor for her.

“Then you will be glad to hear there will be no announcement for you to make.”

“What?” The duchess stared at her, mouth agape. “Has Richard finally stepped in? Oh, I would love to make
that
announcement!”

“There will be no announcements at all, unfortunately. I have told Thomas I don’t want to marry him, and that’s all there is to it.”

“Oh.”

“And here I thought you would be happy.” Penny couldn’t stop herself from teasing the duchess a little. “You have been berating me about not marrying him, and now as I finally do as you have asked, you don’t seem happy about it.”

“Well, I…” For once, the duchess didn’t know what to say. She sat down on the bench, on the very spot Thomas had left only minutes before. “I must admit I wasn’t too happy about you marrying that boring young man, but in the end it’s your happiness it’s all about, not mine. And if you have lost your opportunity for a happy life just because I desperately want you for my daughter-in-law…”

“I could always marry Jamie.”

The duchess lightened up for a second before she caught the sarcasm in Penny’s words and sank back into her misery again. “No, that’s not an option. It would be marrying Mr. Bedford all over again. No, you belong with Richard. I only wish he would understand that too.”

Penny bit her lip nervously. Should she tell the duchess about what had happened in the salon? No, she had to fight that battle herself. She knew now it was Rake and only Rake she wanted, as it always had been.

But she didn’t want a forced Rake. She wanted him to know with all his heart that he wanted her too.

She was too tired now, and her head was spinning from everything that had happened this evening. But time was on her side, and tomorrow was a better day to attack the problem with Rake.

She needed her sleep. She needed time to think.

Tomorrow was just as good as this evening. Rake was probably still out cold, and she wouldn’t be able to have a decent conversation with him anyway.

She bid the grieving duchess good night before running with light steps up the stairs to her room.

Tomorrow would be a new day.

“I guess there is no turning back now.”

Penny looked up from the book she had been reading and hid her amused smile as Rake slowly walked, or rather stumbled, into the library, grimacing against the radiant sunbeams which drowned the room with light.

“I beg your pardon?”

He squinted at her where she sat on her favorite windowsill. “Lose the act, my love. You know what I’m talking about.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that and decided to stay quiet and, for once, let him do the talking. She wanted this man with every part of her being and could so easily grab the lead and drag him into marriage. But yesterday she had made a solemn promise to herself to marry him only if he felt the same way, which meant he actually needed to tell her so.

Wringing water from a stone would probably be an easier mission, but she was determined to be either devastatingly unhappy without him or absurdly happy with him. She wouldn’t settle for something between, whether it was marrying Thomas or marrying a Rake who thought he had no other choice.

“How can you stand the light? My eyes hurt like hell. Do you think we could go somewhere else to talk?”

She nodded, jumped gracefully down from the sill, and motioned for him to follow her into the small windowless room in which the duke stored all the family’s oldest books.

“Ah, better.” Rake let out a sigh filled with contentment as he sank down onto the comfortable sofa, the only piece of furniture in the room besides the book-filled shelves covering all four walls.

Penny stopped in the doorway, all too aware of what had happened between them the last time they were alone in a confined space. This was not the time to let him try to seduce her again—which he probably would, the scoundrel, if she let him any closer to her than an arm’s length.

“You can come inside. I promise I won’t bite.”

He looked at her with an amused arch of his eyebrow, and she felt her cheeks heat as she shook her head without answering him.

“No?”

“I’m fine here, thank you.”

“It’s a very comfortable sofa.”

“I know.”

Again he lashed his unreadable grin at her, and again she felt her cheeks burn. This was Rake the wicked libertine, and it was surprisingly good to see him. It was almost as in the old days, before everything went bad. Before she went to London for her first Season.

“Can you at least close the door, please? I think we need some privacy for this conversation.”

“No.”

“No? Why not? I won’t throw myself all over you as soon as you…” His voice trailed off, and his grin came back. “Oh.”

He chuckled, crossing his legs in a leisurely manner, clearly enjoying this situation a lot more than she did. It wasn’t too hard for her to guess why, though. He thought he had her in his hand, that he finally had won the struggle between them that had lasted over a year.

Little did he know she wasn’t ready to give in just yet. She almost chuckled wickedly herself, but managed to stop in time. No, her beloved scoundrel, who sat there with a victorious gleam in his smoky eyes, would soon be aware he wouldn’t win so easily.

“I have to admit I don’t remember much from yesterday’s ball. I have a distant memory of you and me dancing, but then it’s kind of a blur until I woke up locked inside my mother’s salon, with my trousers loose and falling to my ankles.”

He looked at her as if he expected her to respond in some way, and she forced herself to stand still, to show as little emotion as possible.

With a slightly irritated frown, he continued, “At first I didn’t understand what had happened, but considering the status of my trousers and... Anyway, I rather understood what had happened then, but it wasn’t until I found your wings in the corner I realized it was with you.”

Again he stared hard at her, as if mentally trying to force her response, and she dug her nails deep into the palms of her hands in her effort to not give away any emotion or reply in any way. She must have an evil core inside her, she knew, as his obvious frustration with her silence pleased her immensely.

Let him suffer a bit. Let him feel as confused as she had felt over the last months. It would only do him—and her—well. At least she hoped it would.

“Are you all right?” He stood up and walked over to her, not stopping until he stood so close she had to lean her head backwards to be able to look into his narrowed eyes.

“I’m fine, thank you.” She gave him a small smile which was meant to calm him, but instead his frown deepened.

“No, you are not. You can’t be. You just had quite an experience last night, and even though I know I never would do you any harm, not even when drunker than I’ve ever been before, I might not have been as gentle with you last night as I would have otherwise.”

“I’m fine. Truly, I am.”

“Penny, my love, you can be honest with me. I can take the truth. If I scared or hurt you in any way, I need to know. Please indulge me.”

“Truly, I’m fine. No need for you to be this anxious about it.”

“Well, then, was I any good?”

She stared at him openmouthed. “What?”

“I have never been that drunk while making love, and I just wondered if I’m as good a lover drunk as when I’m sober. Good to know, you know.”

“You…” She couldn’t believe her ears. The snake. The selfish, awful snake. How could he even think that…

It was the smug smile he couldn’t hide that told her he had only been teasing to finally get a reaction from her, and she cursed silently as she clamped her mouth shut, but too late.

His victorious sneer told her as much.

Damn. Bloody double damn.

“Shall we start this all over again?” He leaned closer to her, and she caught her breath as his mouth came closer to hers, and not until she felt the door bump into her backside did she realize he had only been reaching for the door to close it firmly behind her.

Again she was caught in a room alone with him, but this time he was sober—almost—and had a determined look upon his handsome face. Quickly she slipped under his arm and rushed to the sofa to put it between them as a barrier.

“I could easily jump the sofa, you know.” He leaned against the now-closed door and crossed his arms with an amused grin. The snake was obviously enjoying the situation a bit more than she did.

“I know,” she admitted through her teeth. “I might be ignorant of much, but I’m not stupid.”

“I never called you stupid or ignorant. Simpleminded, I might have said, though, now and then.”

She snorted but decided wisely against replying. She would never win a battle of words with him and knew it was better to get to the core of this conversation as soon as possible, before he kissed her senseless, as his smoldering eyes hotly promised.

“I
am
fine. You don’t have to worry. I was a bit distraught last night, I admit, but now I can handle it.”

He nodded, accepting the truth in her words with a relieved little sigh. “All right, then. Let’s not spend any more time going over what happened yesterday, which we have all the time in the world to talk about later. Let us instead talk about something more important now: our future.”

She liked his words “our future” a bit too much, she realized, and hardened her soft heart against him. He still hadn’t mentioned loving her, and she had made her vow: for her it was all or nothing. She didn’t want anything in between, and all she had to do now was to see it through.

“For starters, you have to tell Thomas you can’t marry him,” he continued, a gruesome note in his voice. “I know it’s a bit much to ask of you, especially considering my mother’s big announcement yesterday, but it’s not fair of you to keep him to his promise.”

“How low is your opinion of me?” She growled at him. “Of course I broke off the engagement before your mother had a chance to announce anything. Thomas is too good to ever be lied to in any way.”

“The engagement is off?”

His obvious astonishment irritated her. Why was it so hard for him to believe that she already had told Thomas it was off? She wasn’t an ogre, like him, to keep others dangling without caring.

Thomas deserved the truth.

“Yes, I spoke with Thomas as soon as I could after, after, you know…”

“No, I don’t know. After what?”

She couldn’t resist sticking out her tongue toward him, the snake. He was such a tease, never able to resist an opportunity to bicker. Life with him would have its ups and downs, but if she only knew he loved her with all his heart it would be worth it.

If only he would tell her.

“So let us talk about
our
future then.” She ignored his amusement over her childish action.

He raised an eyebrow. “Let us, indeed.”

When he didn’t continue, she sighed, frustrated. So she would have to drag it out of him? Why couldn’t he just act the perfect gentleman and tell her what she needed to hear? Then everything would finally come to its perfect fairytale end: happily ever after.

“So where do we go from here?” She was unable to withhold her irritation any longer.

“To the closest bedroom?”

“Rake!”

“Ah, woman, I love it when you gasp. Are you sure you don’t want to meet me on the sofa instead of hiding behind it?”

She sighed. He didn’t make it easy for her. “Please, can’t we just talk about the future? This is not the time to tease the subject away.”

He gave her his most wicked grin. “How can I talk about the future when I can’t remember the past? If you could help me remember last night a bit, I might feel much more obliged to talk about more boring things than kissing that lovely spot under your ear.”

This time her sigh was defeated. “You almost make me regret ending my engagement with Thomas.
He
wouldn’t have been too afraid to talk to me about something more serious than kissing.”

“No, he would have discussed the political climate in Scotland rather than anyone’s emotions. Don’t forget my dear, I know Thomas too. He hasn’t got a romantic bone in his boring saintly body, and you would have suffocated as his wife.” Slowly he started toward her, mesmerizing her with the lustful promises in his eyes.

“Now you’re being rude,” she rushed to say, to put some mental distance between them. “Thomas might not be the most passionate of men, in your eyes, but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy a private moment as much as the next man.”

Rake stopped on the other side of the sofa, his eyes losing their warmth. “And how do you know this? By experience?”

Oh, Lord, save me from simpleminded men.

She shook her head slowly. “I give up. Obviously you are not interested in what I find important, as all you can think about is, as you put it, kissing. Let us just part here and now and go on with our lives as they are. I’m too tired to let you bounce me around like this. I need peace and quiet, and you offer me neither.”

“I think you are overreacting a bit, my love. I’m merely teasing you…”

Angrily she walked to his side of the sofa and shoved him hard in the chest, forcing him to stumble back slightly. “Overreacting?
I’m
overreacting? That’s quite rude of you to say, since you don’t react at all. For all I know, you don’t care a bit about me or what happened between us yesterday. And honestly, right now I don’t either. So let it be. Let
me
be.” With a last snarl, she walked right past him, yanked the door open, and stomped through the empty library and out into the hallway.