Never Can Say Goodbye (21 page)

And Frankie had fervently agreed.

So, here she was, at a quarter to midnight, two Saturdays before Christmas, with Lilly all dressed in spectral black for the
occasion, waiting for Dexter to arrive with Maisie.

The ice-cold weather continued across Berkshire, but the clear skies had given way to sullen low clouds and a biting north-easterly
wind. Everyone was forecasting a white Christmas.

‘Oooh, it’s quite shuddery, just thinking about it, isn’t it?’ Lilly prowled round the rails. ‘What if there is a ghost, and
it comes out all howling and dripping blood from its fangs?’

‘That’s vampires,’ Frankie said, also pacing up and down. ‘And it won’t be scary, Lilly, I promise you.’

‘Oh, I’m not scared, just curious. I watched
Paranormal Experience
all on my own. Twice. I wouldn’t mind meeting a ghost, actually. Do you think I’d look OK in this lime-green shifty thing?’

‘No.’ Frankie shook her head. ‘You’d look like a runner bean. Put it back, Lill. It’ll get all creased. Ah, here they are.’

The door opened and Dexter, incongruously pulling a tartan shopping trolley, stood back to allow Maisie to step inside.

Frankie pressed her lips together tightly to prevent any laughter escaping. Lilly didn’t.

Maisie was wearing a marquee-sized kaftan in a multi-coloured
geometric print, skyscraper heels in green and lilac and adorned with tinsel bows, and a bright blue woolly bonnet over the
curls.

‘Hello, sweethearts – oh, my goodness!’ She did the head-hitting-with-the-back-of-the-hand thing again. The bonnet fell off.
Maisie slumped backwards against the door. Dexter, manoeuvring the shopping trolley, skipped niftily out of the way. ‘I may
need a chair. Oh, I can feel them immediately. Everywhere … They’re draining my energy. You have a very serious problem here.’

Lilly grabbed a chair and Maisie overflowed onto it with a sigh.

‘If you just tell us what we have to do,’ Frankie said, now pretty sure, given Maisie’s repeat Oscar-winning performance,
that this was going to be a complete waste of time, ‘we’ll get you anything you need.’

‘Lovely. Thank you.’ Maisie spoke faintly. ‘This is amazing. I can actually hear them calling to me already. Dexter has my
bag of tricks – and that’s just a figure of speech, not an indication that this is a magic act –’ she looked sternly at Lilly
‘– so if I could have a little table just beside me, here.’

The table was fetched, a jug of water and a glass set on it, and the tartan shopping trolley placed beside the chair.

Delving into it, Maisie brought out two small bowls of what looked like potpourri but smelled like Bombay mix, a small brass
filigreed lantern, two bunches of dried herbs and a greying lump of something that defied description, and arranged them on
the table.

‘For cleansing the negative auras,’ Maisie said shakily. ‘I still feel a lot of negativity.’

‘Can’t imagine why,’ Dexter chuckled.

‘We don’t need the lights,’ Maisie whispered. ‘Just my cleansing candles for illumination. In my bag, sweetheart. I’ll have
the big orange calendula one on the table here, and the little jasmine ones along the counter over there … and then the patchouli
and ylang-ylang ones in a circle round my feet, evenly spaced, it’s vital there should be no gaps in the geometry, er, symmetry.’

Making sure there was no danger of igniting any of the precious frocks, Frankie and Lilly eventually managed to place the
candles to Maisie’s satisfaction and light them. Dozens of little flames danced and guttered.

‘Aren’t they pretty. So many of them! And don’t they smell lovely?’ Lilly inhaled.

Frankie nodded. ‘Great, as long as they don’t burn the shop down. I’ll get the fire extinguisher out of the kitchen, just
in case.’

‘And turn the lights off.’ Maisie’s voice was still very faint. ‘We don’t need any artificial lighting. The spirits don’t
like it.’

‘Bugger the spirits,’ Dexter said, following Frankie into the kitchen, ‘I need to see where I’m going at the moment. Quite
an actress, isn’t she?’

‘And bossy with it.’ Frankie nodded. ‘Well, at least Lilly’s impressed anyway. Oh God, what are we doing?’

‘Laying the ghost,’ Dexter said firmly. ‘Once and for all. It’ll all be fine, you’ll see.’

Frankie wasn’t so sure.

They’d discussed it endlessly throughout the week. Over hearty fat-filled food in the Greasy Spoon, and twice over rather
weird cocktails in the Toad in the Hole. Then, they’d both agreed it was the only thing to do. At least they’d be giving something
a try.

Now it was actually happening, it seemed like something else altogether.

It was very odd, Frankie thought, unclipping the fire extinguisher from the wall, that she and Dexter had fallen easily into
meeting up at lunch times and after work simply to discuss Ernie’s exorcism. They hadn’t touched on anything personal at all,
but having a shared secret had brought them closer in some way.

‘Are we still not telling Maisie that it’s Ernie who’s our resident ghost?’ Dexter hefted the fire extinguisher. ‘Are we going
to let him come as a surprise?’

‘Definitely.’ Frankie looked around the kitchen. ‘I still think Maisie’s a fake, so I’m not intending to give her any help
at all. We know Ernie can materialise at will, so let’s see what she does with him
if
she manages to communicate with him at all. Right, let’s go.’

With the lights out, and the shop illuminated only by the multitude of flickering candles, shadows danced eerily up the walls,
around the rainbow rails of frocks, and across the low ceiling.

‘You stand here to my left,’ Maisie whispered shakily to Lilly, ‘because you believe in the spirit world and will increase
the positivity. And you, Frankie and young Dexter, must stand to my right. And no one say anything. Not a word. Whatever happens.
Promise me, sweethearts?’

They all nodded. Lilly giggled. Frankie could feel her heart thundering under her ribs.

‘Are you OK?’ Dexter whispered.

She nodded.

‘Good,’ he said softly, and took her hand in the darkness and squeezed her fingers.

Her heart thundered even more.

Maisie leaned back in her chair and fumbled under the neck of the kaftan. Producing an oddly shaped pendant on a thick chain,
she held it between her thumb and forefinger.

‘Are you here?’ Maisie whispered hoarsely. ‘Are you here with us?’

The pendant jerked wildly.

Dexter squeezed Frankie’s hand.

‘And do you want to be free?’ Maisie croaked. ‘Are you unhappy?’

The pendant swung from side to side.

‘That’s a yes on both counts,’ Maisie informed them. ‘Shall I release you?’

‘Is she talking to us or them?’ Dexter whispered in Frankie’s ear.

‘Them I hope.’ Frankie tingled, feeling Dexter’s lips close to her skin.

‘Shhhh.’ Maisie looked cross. ‘Don’t speak.’

The pendant whirled round and round.

‘Can’t even see her fingers moving,’ Dexter murmured. ‘It’s impressive.’

‘Show yourselves to me,’ Maisie demanded, sweeping her hand across her forehead. ‘Show yourselves! Now!’

They all held their breath.

The pendant seemed to take on a life of its own, swinging violently backwards and forwards.

Maisie gave a little scream and slumped sideways.

‘Is she dead?’ Lilly whispered.

‘God, I hope not.’ Frankie peered at Maisie. ‘It would take a hell of a lot of explaining.’

‘Of course I’m not dead,’ Maisie groaned. ‘They’re coming through. It exhausts me. And stop talking.’

Dexter nudged Frankie. ‘Over there,’ he whispered. ‘By the fifties frocks.’

In the dancing shadows, Ernie was leaning nonchalantly against the rails, grinning cheerfully. He gave them a little wave.

Frankie waved back, then frowned. ‘Did she do that?’

‘Doubtful, seeing as we know he appears like that without Maisie here,’ Dexter said softly. ‘But let’s see what she does now.
If we can see him then she must be able to.’

Maisie gave a jerk and shook her head. ‘I can’t hear you all at once, I need to hear one voice only. I can’t see you, but
I can sense you. Make yourselves appear.’

Frankie and Dexter looked at one another.

Lilly peered across the shop towards Ernie. ‘Isn’t that something over there?’

‘Ssssh!’ Frankie and Dexter hissed together.

Maisie, her eyes wide open, looked wildly round the shop. ‘No, no, this is all wrong. I’m hearing too many voices. I need
a spokesperson. I need just one of you to materialise and talk to me. I need guidance.’

‘She needs glasses,’ Dexter said quietly, ‘if she can’t see Ernie.’

Frankie sighed. ‘I knew she was rubbish. Maybe we should give her a bit of a clue?’

‘Please.’ Maisie glared at them. ‘Don’t talk any more. I’m communicating.’

Ernie had strolled into the middle of the shop and stood looking sadly at them.

‘There!’ Lilly shrilled. ‘Maisie! There’s someone over there!’

‘Quiet!’ Maisie snapped as the pendant went into frantic overdrive. ‘This isn’t going to work if I don’t have complete silence.’

‘I’m here, Maisie, duck,’ Ernie said helpfully. ‘Right in front
of you. Now, if you could just say whatever you needs to say to get me back to my Achsah I’d be right grateful.’

‘That’s better.’ Maisie subsided back into her chair. ‘Total silence.’

‘She’s crap,’ Dexter said firmly. ‘She can’t hear Ernie or even see him. She’s never going to reunite Ernie with his wife
at this rate.’

Lilly jiggled up and down on her stilettos. ‘Maisie, there’s someone here. I can see him. You’ve magicked up a ghost!’

‘It’s not magic, you silly girl, and no one has materialised yet – you’re imagining things. Too much imagination can kill
the sightings as much as too much scepticism.’

Ernie sighed heavily. ‘Look, Maisie, duck, I ain’t one to complain, but I’m here and everyone else knows I’m here and you
must know that I’m here and—’

‘I’ve got someone!’ Maisie suddenly screamed. ‘I’ve got someone coming through the rabble and chaos!’

‘Thank God for that,’ Dexter sighed. ‘At bloody last.’

‘I must insist on complete silence, and far less blasphemy and profanity,’ Maisie gasped, reaching for a glass of water. ‘I’m
drained here. Drained. That’s better. Now, if you could just show yourself to me.’

‘Ta-dah!’ Ernie did a little mocking jiggling dance. ‘She’s telling me that she wants to be reunited,’ Maisie said triumphantly.
‘That she won’t rest until she’s reunited.’

‘
She?
’ Dexter and Frankie looked at one another.

‘Hold up, duck.’ Ernie stopped jigging and frowned. ‘You seem to have got the drift of what I’m after, but I ain’t no she.’

‘It looks like a man to me,’ Lilly said doubtfully. ‘He’s really sweet.’

Ernie beamed at Lilly.

Maisie suddenly let out a banshee wail. Frankie clung even more tightly to Dexter’s hand. Lilly whimpered.

The shop grew icily cold and a wind, gentle at first, seemed to waft through the darkness, rippling through the half-lit dresses
on the rails, making them dance and shimmer like rainbows in the candle glow. Growing in intensity, the wind became a howling,
roaring gale, like a live thing, unseen, running amok.

Then, just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped.

There was absolute silence.

‘She’s here!’ Maisie said hoarsely. ‘Oh, dear Lord and all the saints, she’s here.’

‘Jesus!’ Dexter blinked as a shadowy figure emerged from the gloom. ‘What the hell is happening here?’

Frankie felt very sick. She was shaking from head to toe. Even Lilly was silent.

‘Speak to me.’ Maisie’s voice was guttural now. ‘Speak to me.’

‘I’ll speak to you all right, you daft old bat.’ A very angry-looking woman, with her fair hair in a 1940s snood, and wearing
a white petticoat, strode across the shop. ‘What the devil you think you’re doing, disturbing us, I’ve no bloody idea. But
now you have, I’ll thank you to undo whatever hokum you’ve just done and let us go back to where we came from.’

Maisie gave a scream, followed by a wistful sigh, and conveniently fainted.

‘Christ Almighty!’ Dexter shook his head. ‘Look at them.’

Frankie looked.

The shadowy shop was suddenly full of women: women of all shapes and sizes and ages, all in various states of undress, all
shrieking happily and eagerly raking through the rails of frocks.

‘I’m going to be sick.’ Lilly clutched her mouth and flew towards the kitchen.

‘A right bloody how’s-yer-father balls-up this is,’ Ernie snapped. ‘Now I’m still here, and I’m not alone. Now I’m sharing
me haunting space with a lot of flaming half-dressed dead shopaholics.’

‘Maisie!’ Frankie shook the kaftan-clad shoulder and shrieked in the cauliflower-curl-covered ear. ‘Maisie! Wake up!’

Maisie just grunted.

‘Hang on.’ Dexter deftly moved the candles away from Maisie’s sprawled designer-clad feet. ‘We’ve got enough problems. We
don’t want to turn the place into an inferno as well, do we?’

‘I don’t see why not,’ Frankie said faintly. ‘We’ve got hell on earth here already.’

‘I’ll put the rest of the candles out and switch the lights on,’ Dexter said, clearly trying to keep some sort of control.
‘The, um, well, ladies might all disappear in the light.’

He did, and they didn’t.

The woman in the white petticoat frowned at Frankie. ‘Who are you? Where is this? And what century are we in?’

‘I’m Frankie Meredith,’ Frankie mumbled, not taking her eyes from the apparition. ‘This is my frock shop, in Kingston Dapple,
in Berkshire, and it’s the twenty-first century.’

‘Twenty-first century.’ White Petticoat frowned. ‘Is it? Crikey. And anyway what the blazes did you think you were doing here,
meddling with things you clearly don’t understand?’

Frankie, petrified, just stared at her. Across the shop, the women were still shrieking with girlish excitement, but now also
tugging frocks from the rails, struggling into them, and admiring one another.

It was like Saturday afternoon in Primark. ‘Come on, one of you,’ White Petticoat said tersely. ‘Speak to me. Tell me exactly
what’s going on.’