Nerd Haiku (2 page)

You made me a man,

then mixed up
Wars
and
Trek.
I'm

breaking up with you.

Like Lana and Gwen,

you were ahead of the curve.

First girlfriend syndrome.

I will wear a tux

and a custom fez when I

marry Amy Pond.

Regenerated

Abbot and Costello are

Doctor Who
's on first.

I'd go back in time

to be surprised again. “No,

I am your father.”

I'm such a badass:

Bantha skull shoulder tattoo.

Please don't tell my dad!

Dad won't admit it,

but let's face it, my brother:

I'm Thor; you're Loki.

Dad didn't get it.

He wanted me to play ball.

Now I own the team!

Computers are good

for more than just watching porn.

Do you hear me, Dad?

Eyes squint in daylight.

Mom still does my laundry. I

live in her basement.

Mom wants me outside,

but then how will I know when

people read my blog?

Thought I'd be rich now,

but my plan was thwarted when

Mom sold my comics.

Sad when Granny passed,

but was beside myself when

Mrs. Summers died.

Asgard, Gotham, Hoth,

Middle Earth, Winterfell, Oz,

there's no place like home.

My summer job sucks.

Days spent skimming hair away.

Pool boy on Kashyyyk.

Nothing you can say

will stop me from wearing a

T-shirt on the beach.

I can't help you move.

No, my car's totally fine.

Star Trek
marathon.

I never knew the

joy of musicals before

Dr. Horrible.

I was all alone,

then your music spoke to me,

“Weird” Al Yankovic.

Spidey on Broadway?

Suspension of disbelief

has its limits, dude.

The birdhouse in my

soul is filled up with tweets from

They Might Be Giants.

Small apartment, but

I can really spread out here

on the holodeck.

The Baxter Building

allows flames but not smoking.

Co-op boards are weird.

Special packaging

on this Blu-ray set's cool but

won't fit on my shelf.

Ikea shelves are

hard to assemble with a

sonic screwdriver.