Nerd Gone Wild (24 page)

“And we have a little problem, too, don’t we? Once again, we’re sitting on the shoulder of the road. You’re lucky that cop gave up following you, or she’d be sitting behind us, twirling her cute little lights and wondering whether or not we operated our vibrator while our vehicle was moving.”

Kurt groaned. “Don’t remind me.” He’d driven for twenty long miles with the cop behind him matching his speed and Vivian beside him moaning and writhing on the seat. Twenty miles with a hard-on and no place to put it. Finally the cop had passed them with a wave. Vivian had waved the vibrator. Kurt could only hope the cop hadn’t noticed.

“It’s too late to go back,” Vivian said. “I’ve had enough traveling for one day. I want French cuisine, a hot bath, and a rundown.”

Kurt decided not to mention that even if they made it to Porcupine she wouldn’t be getting any of those things. He’d been deliberately vague about the amenities at the Loose Moose Lodge. Vivian wouldn’t be happy that there were no tubs, only shower stalls in each bathroom.

In tourist season she might have had to share the bathroom, something she’d never do. But at this time of year Kurt was sure she’d get her own, especially after he introduced her as Tanya Mandell.

“Well, Kurt? Any bright ideas? We can’t just sit here. I need to relax.”

He studied the drifts. His truck had snow tires, and on TV they’d shown this very model charging right through drifts, spraying snow everywhere. There had been that disclaimer about it being a closed course, but still, the snow hadn’t stopped the truck.

If he barreled through the snow and made it to Porcupine because he’d been smart enough to buy this badass truck that could take on anything, that would impress Vivian. He needed to get on her good side before he checked her into the Loose Moose. If she went into this situation convinced that he had his shit together, that would be a good thing.

He put the truck in four-wheel drive and stepped on the gas.

“Kurt! What in God’s name are you doing?”

He narrowed his eyes and gripped the wheel. “I’m going through.” The front tires hit the snow with a satisfying crunch, sending out eight-foot plumes on either side, just like on the commercial.

“Are you insane? We can’t make it through all that snow!”

“Just watch me, baby.” The truck roared, the snow sprayed in all directions, and then… they stopped. He stepped on the gas and the tires whined as they spun uselessly against packed snow. He glanced in the side mirror. They were buried up to the top of the wheel well.

“That certainly was brilliant. What do you do for an encore?”

Kurt hit the steering wheel with both hands. “False advertising, that’s what it is! They shouldn’t be allowed to show things on TV unless the average guy can do it! When we get home I’m suing the bastards!”

Vivian sighed and leaned back against the headrest. “I’m trapped in a truck with an idiot who believes what he sees in commercials. It would serve me right to freeze to death out here, because I knew you’d find a way to screw this up, Kurt Jarrett.”

“Nobody’s going to freeze to death.”

“Oh, no? You don’t have enough gas to run the heater all night.”

Kurt fought a sense of panic. “Someone will come along.”

“Kurt, the road’s not plowed. If this road’s not plowed, we can’t expect anyone to come along, now can we? Besides, it’s starting to get dark. People with any sense have gone home by now, so they don’t have to deal with the ice.”

“We’ll stay in the fifth wheel.” He felt better knowing that the fifth wheel was back there, even though the fifth wheel might have been the reason the truck didn’t fly through the snow, now that he thought about it.

“The fifth wheel is heated by electricity, remember? You have to hook up to an electrical supply. See any plugs? We could tear pieces off the furniture inside the fifth wheel and burn it, but I’ll bet you it’s not real wood. Burning it will probably give off gases that can kill you. So we have a choice of freezing to death or being asphyxiated. Which method do you prefer?”

“I think I hear something.”

Vivian blew out a breath. “You’re grasping at straws. There’s nobody out here but us, hanging out right here in the lovely white snowdrift. At least I have my vibrator. Maybe that’s how I’ll go out, making myself come until I croak. I wonder if anyone’s ever—”

“Shh! I think there’s a tractor working around that bend in the road.”

“Watch your language, bud. That sounded like an order.”

He was concentrating so hard on what might be a tractor that he didn’t let himself worry about whether he’d given her an order or not. “Don’t you hear it?”

She tilted her head to listen. “Now that you mention it, I do. Maybe we’re both delirious.”

“For crying out loud, Viv. We’ve been stuck here about five minutes.”

“Don’t get uppity with me, mister! You’re the one who’s put us in harm’s way, and don’t think Vivian’s about to forget this, either. Assuming that really is a tractor and we’re going to get out of here, you’ll have some big debts to pay to Vivian. Yes, you will.”

Kurt shuddered. Whenever Vivian started speaking about herself in the third person, he was in for it. He might be on sexual detention for the next month. But the noise of a motor got louder, so at least he wouldn’t end up frozen in a truck cab with a woman welded to her vibrator.

Finally the tractor appeared around the bend. Kurt lay on the horn.

Vivian covered her ears. “Was that really necessary? I think he could probably see us. We’re considerably bigger than a breadbox.”

“I wanted him to know we need help.”

“That’s obvious, isn’t it? Not many people sit here up to the fenders in snow because they intended to do that.” She leaned forward and peered at the tractor driver. “He looks sort of cute.”

“Vivian, do you remember what we read about Tanya Mandell’s sexual preferences?”

“You mean that she’s gay? Of course I remember.”

“That means you can’t be making eyes at any of the men in Porcupine.” Kurt had been quite relieved to find out Tanya Mandell’s sexual persuasion. Vivian couldn’t have sex with him while they were here, but she couldn’t have sex with any other guy, either.

She gave him a sly smile. “Then maybe I’ll hit on your niece.”

“That would
not
be a good idea.”

“Why not? I’ve always wondered if I could swing both ways. Now’s the perfect time to find out. For all you know, she’d welcome my attentions.”

“I know you’re only pulling my chain. You wouldn’t really put the moves on Ally.” He glanced over at her. “Would you?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see what mood I’m in when we finally get to this godforsaken place. I might be in need of some extra entertainment, and like I said, I’ve never done it with a girl. That’s probably a gap in my education.”

Kurt clenched his jaw. He wouldn’t mind watching her try that sometime, but this wasn’t the right setting. Sometimes he didn’t know if Vivian was more of a liability than an asset. She was such a loose cannon.

But then he’d remember how she looked in one of her black leather dominatrix outfits and he couldn’t imagine splitting up. The population of Alaska was small, and the frontier atmosphere suited him. But that also meant he didn’t have a large pool of S and M folks to draw from. If he lost Vivian, he’d have to make another trek down to Vegas and hang around the S and M club there, knowing his chances of finding someone as wild as Viv were small. She was unique.

He knew she only stayed with him because that first night he’d told her that Madeline’s brain tumor would probably be fatal and he’d established a connection with Madeline’s heir. Vivian liked him okay, but without the lure of the Jarrett money, she’d be gone. He knew that, which was why this operation was so critical. He wanted the money, too, but he also wanted to hang on to Vivian.

The tractor pulled up alongside the truck, and Kurt rolled down his window. “Can you get us out of here?”

“Be glad to!” The guy showed off a set of startlingly white choppers. “But first let me clear the road so that once you’re free, you’ll be able to drive right on in to Porcupine.”

Vivian leaned across Kurt. “What’s your name?”

“I’m David Beedleman. I’m doing this as a favor to the town. I’m actually a sculptor. Just sold one of my pieces today, as a matter of fact.”

“Good to meet you, David!” Vivian said.

Kurt sensed way too much enthusiasm in Vivian’s voice. If he knew her, and he did, she was already planning a seduction. Time for some action on his part. “I’d like you to meet Tanya Mandell, the wildlife photographer,” he said. He wished he could have called her “the
gay
wildlife photographer,” but that would sound offensive.

David Beedleman looked impressed. “Wow. Awesome. I admire your work.”

“I admire yours, too,” Vivian said.

“But you haven’t seen it.”

She laughed. “I meant your work on the road.”

“Oh! Right! Let me get back to it. We’re burning daylight!” With another flash of those searchlight-bright teeth, he chugged away on his orange tractor.

“Why does Tanya have to be gay?” Vivian whined. “It’s not fair.”

“Keep in mind the kind of money we’re talking about,” Kurt said. “Pretending to be gay for a little while shouldn’t be that tough when you remember what’s on the line.”

“Tell me again. I’ll bet David Beedleman’s hung like a horse. I need to know all the reasons why I’m ignoring him.”

Kurt was used to this routine. She salivated over other guys all the time. He always used the promise of riches to bring her back. “Once we tap into the Jarrett fortune, you’ll be able to fly to Paris for lunch.”

Vivian closed her eyes. “More, more.”

“You’ll be able to buy a new Jag as soon as the old one needs washing. You’ll be able to have a villa in the south of France. And a private jet to take you there.”

Eyes still closed, Vivian napped her hands in frustration. “I want all that now.”

“It’s closer than ever before. We’ve waited months. Now we’re ready to make contact and start milking that cash cow.”

Vivian’s eyes snapped open. “Okay, so I’m gay. Happy, now?”

M
itch took to snowmobiling like a nerd takes to chaos theory. If he could spend all his time on a snowmobile, he might come to enjoy Alaska a little bit. Roaring along on that baby was like being on his Harley, only maybe a tiny bit better. That was tough for him to admit, because he loved his hog. But out here a guy could go full throttle and there wasn’t a thing to stop him if he stayed away from the trees.

Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that freewheeling. Before they left, Rudy had explained that he’d lead the way, because this time of year you had to be aware of avalanches. You didn’t want to start one or get in the way of one that was already started.

But other than that, the world was his snow-covered oyster. A helmet, a pair of goggles, and he was a happy man. On a snowmobile, he could outrun anything, even a
bear
. Or a pack of wolves. That’s what he was talkin’ about. A snowmobile was the equalizer in this country.

As luck would have it, Ally didn’t seem to care much for snowmobiling. He didn’t see her smile until they spotted a herd of caribou on the horizon. But when they tried to get near, the noise of the engines scared the animals away. She only pulled out her camera once, when they stopped on a rise to take in the view.

He’d scored a small victory then. During that short break she’d taken off her backpack and left it propped on the snowmobile. Then she’d snapped pictures of what was admittedly a breathtaking scene of snowy mountains with a frozen lake nestled in the foothills. During that time Mitch had slipped the transmitter into her backpack. If he ever needed to track her, he could follow the signal. He doubted she’d ever discover it.

As the light began to fade, they headed back toward Porcupine. Rudy suggested Ally ride with Mitch on the way home, so she climbed on behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

He’d given many rides on his Harley to many women. He’d been sexually involved with several of them. Yet he’d never felt such a visceral connection as when he and Ally rode together on that snowmobile.