NeedMe (14 page)

She threw the pillow aside and glanced around blearily.
After a moment her gaze landed on a folded note on the nightstand with her name
on the front in her lover’s block printing.

Bzz
.
Bzz
.
Bzz.

“I’m coming!” She rolled out of bed and started to reach for
her robe, only to realize she was still wearing last night’s purple dress. Tony
had hauled her into bed fully clothed and she hadn’t awakened until now.

She quickly opened Tony’s note and smiled at the single word
written inside.

Tonight.

Sounded promising. And scary as hell.

The buzzer sounded again and she hurried down the hall. God,
she must look awesome. She tucked the note in her bra and swiped her fingertips
under her eyes. Raccoons probably had nothing on her.

Let it be the mailman with some random package
.
Or
a traveling salesman peddling life insurance.

She swung open the door and swallowed at the sight of Cale,
looking way too luscious in dark-gray jeans slouched over boots and a flannel
shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

“You’re not the mailman,” she muttered.

“Nope.” He sounded entirely too cheerful considering it was
early morning. At least it
felt
early. He swept his gaze up and down her
body. “It’s also not still last night.”

“Yeah. I know.” She pushed a hand through her hair then
stepped back and waved him inside. “Which means you should be at work, not
seeing me looking like death. Something you will never tell anyone unless you
want me to hurt you.” She shut the door behind him and leaned against it,
surprised at the skitter of nerves down the back of her neck.

This wasn’t some stranger. This was Cale. Her pal.
Your
lover.

Again his gaze traveled down her body before returning to
her face. The look wasn’t overtly sexual, merely curious. “You look great. Like
you always do.”

“Uh huh. Anyway, to what do I owe this visit? And why aren’t
you at work?”

“I took an early lunch. Can we sit down?”

“Can I take a shower and brush my teeth first?”

He smiled. “No. Sit down with me for a couple minutes.” He
held out his hand and she took it, trying to ignore the sudden tightening in
her throat.

Friends held hands, right? They even sat down side-by-side
on the couch and leaned against each other when boy friend extended his arm
around girl friend’s shoulders and pulled her close.

“So, ah, I forgot to tell you. I talked to Spencer
yesterday. About the website,” she said, well aware her words were coming out
in a rush. “He said you’d sent him the site comps you did.”

“Yeah. He left me a voicemail yesterday but I haven’t had a
chance to get back to him. What did they think?”

“They loved your ideas.” She cocked her head and smiled.
“Especially the Weebles. The VR site’s a go.”

“Yeah? Fucking awesome.” Cale grinned. “And you didn’t have
to convince him?”

“Only a little. You know him. He’s a traditionalist at
heart.” Sex club screwing aside. And since Spencer and Kink squicked her out,
she quickly diverted her thoughts back to the website. “But he saw the appeal
in the VR one. So did Kelly. They’re ready to try it. A lot of people already
think bookstores are a dying breed. Anything that makes them seem firmly rooted
in the future is a good thing.”

“Well, hot damn. That site will be fun to finish putting
together.” He leaned forward and gave her a brief kiss. “Thank you for using
your considerable influence.”

She shrugged, her lips still tingling. A woman would have to
be dead not to like kissing Cale. But it wasn’t even about that. Now that she’d
slept with him, every action seemed to take on a significance it hadn’t before.
Especially since she wasn’t sure how
he
was reacting. “I didn’t do
anything. Just mentioned how much I loved the site and what amazing work you’d
done. All true.”

Cale heaved out a breath when she aimed her gaze at the
couch. “Are we going to be weird now?”

She laced her fingers together and hated that he had to ask.
“If we’re honest with each other, no. We aren’t. We’re friends.”

“Good friends.”

“Yes. And I don’t want that to end.” She slanted him a
glance. If they had a chance of going back to the way things were—or better
yet, of being closer friends than ever—they had to lay their cards on the
table. It was now or never. “You don’t have feelings for me, do you?”

Chapter Eleven

“Yeah, I do.” Cale’s eyes seemed particularly blue today.
Chambray blue. “Tons of them.”

“Um…”

“I love you, Blondie.” He laughed huskily. “As a friend.
That hasn’t changed now that I know just how good it feels to be inside you.”
He rubbed his lips over her hair and she sighed. He made it really hard to stay
anxious around him. “
Really
inside you.”

“Thank you for reminding me.”

“Welcome. So you gonna stop pressing your thighs together
like you think I’m about to start diving for treasure?”

She couldn’t help laughing. “I am not. It’s just new.”

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“Many of them. Most are even positive.” She gave in to the
urge to settle against his chest.

“Now see, that’s better, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

He ran his hand down her hair and made a noise at the back
of his throat, somehow managing to sound like a contented kitten and a rumbly
male simultaneously. “We should talk about last night.”

“Without Tony?”

“This time, yeah. Because it’s about time for me to bow out
of your relationship and there’s stuff I need to say before I go.”

“Uh oh. Stuff.”

“Even worse, big stuff.” He wound one of her curls around
his thumb. “When are you going to tell him you’re in love with him?”

She toyed with one of his buttons to avoid looking at his
face. She just knew those perceptive eyes would be trained on her, seeing
things she didn’t want anyone to see. He’d never let her get away with burying
her feelings like last year’s skinny jeans at the back of her closet. “Soon.”

“How soon?”

“Tonight.”

“Good. He loves you too.”

“You’re just full of knowledge all of a sudden, matchmaker.”
She frowned at his serious expression. “I’m still not sure of that myself.”

“Trust me.”

“I do.”

“Then believe me when I say that man would do anything for
you, even share you with his best friend. He’s not into that. He’s also not
into Kink. But he wanted to make you happy. And he enjoyed going there for you
too. He could’ve acted sullen and put out but that wouldn’t have been your
fantasy.”

Her lips twitched at the memory of Tony’s explosive orgasm
in the steam room. “If you say so.”

“We’ve been friends since we were kids. I know him. There’s a
reason we never shared a girl before you. That’s not his thing. It sure as hell
is mine though, and he knows it. So maybe some of it was for you, maybe some of
it was for me. Either way, he deserves to know how you feel.”

“Just how many women have you shared with other guys?”

He gave her a mercurial little smile. “Count on your fingers
and toes.” Then he lifted her hand and kissed the tips of those fingers. “None
of them held a Girl Scout cookie to you, Blondie. Tony is one lucky
sonofabitch.”

“You’re surprisingly sweet sometimes. And I hear you,” she
added quietly. “I’ll tell him. I promise.”

No matter what it meant for them afterward, she would be
honest. Even if he refused to let her in on last night’s secret. Even if he
said “you had your chance before you screwed my best friend, not interested”.

She didn’t believe he would say that. She also hoped he
understood how sleeping with Cale, as amazing as it was, had finally pushed her
to see all she had at home. That finally she might be ready to
make
a
home with Tony, if he wanted that too.

“Good. I want you both to be happy.” Cale’s kiss glanced off
her temple, the same kind of kisses he’d given her before they’d become lovers.
They’d settled comfortably into the friend zone again and she wanted to hug him
for being so fucking incredible about the whole thing.

Someday he would make some woman very lucky—assuming he ever
finished whipping his wild oats into a frenzy. She almost hated the chick on
principle. Who could possibly be good enough for him?

“Mmm-hmm. You know, last year you wanted to matchmake Kelly
with Spencer,” she teased.

“So did you. And I think
we
did it pretty
successfully, considering hearts shoot out of their eyes whenever they’re near
each other.”

“They’re completely sickening together.” But she grinned as
she popped open one of his buttons and poked him in the chest with her nail.
“Now it’s your turn to ’fess up. Why’d you go all Dom-tastic last night?”

“Dom-tastic?” One brow winged up. “I told you I was into
stuff.”

“More stuff.”

His grin lit up his eyes. “It’s an all-purpose word.”

“For caveman males, sure. I get that you’re into things Tony
and I aren’t. So why did you feel you needed to demonstrate?”

“You don’t know all there is to know about me. And maybe I
thought you should know more.” He jerked a shoulder. “My needs aren’t what
you’re used to.”

”Even so, there’s no way you could’ve really needed to fuck
again that fast.”

“Did you see me fucking anyone?” he asked mildly, a succinct
evasion if she’d ever heard one.

As odd as it had been watching her friend—and her new
lover—step into that scene in the dungeon with only a modicum of hesitation,
this was even worse. She’d never seen Cale act so strange before. Not even what
he was saying or doing, but what he wasn’t.

Did he think she was freaked out to know he was dominant in
bed? As if she’d had any doubt. Or was something else going on here?

She swallowed hard, hating that she needed to fumble around
for the thread of their conversation. “No, but you could’ve from a few feet
back with the size of that thing you were packing.”

“Still talkin’ about my crop?” She poked him again when he
started to laugh.

“That wasn’t your crop. You had no place to hide one of
those. Though you barely hid your—barely hid anything,” she amended, laughing.

“So touched you noticed.”

“Sure did.”

She tucked her fingers into her palm to keep from reaching
up to smooth his brow. As close as they were, she wasn’t used to falling into
the caretaker role with him. They spent most of their time joking around. She
didn’t know how to offer something deeper to Cale, as much as she wanted to.
Even if it was only a gut-level reaction that told her he needed it.

“Your submissive was pretty hot,” Marcia admitted, with the
distance of a new day. Last night she’d been too consumed with making sure Tony
didn’t find her sexy. Now she’d obtained some objectivity.

Not much but some.

“You thought so, hmm?”

She didn’t like his smile. It was too close to a leer. “For
a woman,” she said with a sniff. “Anyway, what happened last night?”

“What do you mean? You saw what happened.” He flicked back
the dark hair that had fallen into his eyes. “I went to the dungeon. I used a
crop on—”

“On?” she prompted when he fell silent. “Do you know her?
And why the hell are you fidgeting if you’re Mr. Big Dom?”

“I said I was into stuff. I didn’t say I’d practiced it
before in that setting. What I’ve done’s all been one-on-one with a woman who
consented—hell, even asked for it—ahead of time. None of this public performing
crap. I didn’t expect some guy to toss that crop at me but Jesus, she was
making all those crazy sounds, begging, pleading. I couldn’t stop myself.” He
balled his hand into a fist then opened up his fingers. “Usually I use a
flogger. But that crop felt good in my hand. Right. And she wanted it.”

“I’ll say,” Marcia said drily. “She was one sneeze away from
an orgasm the entire time.”

“It’s intense.”

“If you say so.”

“I know it’s not your scene.” He stroked her thigh almost
absentmindedly. “Why do you think I went up there?”

It took her a minute to realize he wasn’t fully aware of
what he’d said. His faraway expression was her first hint, his tense posture
another. He was there, in that dungeon. With
her
. Not platonically
cuddling with Marcia.

“You wanted to put distance between us?”

Cale’s snapback to the present was a visible, tangible
thing. He blinked, squinting as if it took great effort to focus on her.
“What?”

“You heard me, jerk.” She shook her head. It was all so
plain now. God save her from chivalrous men. “You didn’t need to stage a scene
to get me to back off. I was cool with the two nights. Actually I would’ve been
fine with one. That was enough to satisfy my curiosity about what it’d be like
with you.”

“Was it now?”

His slow, simmering smile made her roll her eyes. “It was
amazing, just as I’d expected. But I also expected the threesome to only last
one night.”

“You’re one-of-a-kind. With mind-blowing powers of
self-restraint.”

Only the genuine affection in his tone saved him from yet
another eye roll. “I enjoyed myself. Enjoyed you. Loving Tony doesn’t mean I’m
blind or dumb. It just means I’ve decided that committing to him, all the way,
is sexier than going for extra whipped cream and nuts. If you get me.”

“I do. And I’m glad. It was just extra insurance. Though
once I got you there, I couldn’t resist going for the gold with you.”

“Yeah, I noticed. I’ll be walking stooped over for a week.”

Wolfishly, he licked his lips. Needless to say, he didn’t
look the least bit apologetic. “You have one hell of an ass. I heard the angels
sing. Or maybe Satan howled. Hard to say for sure, since I lost my hearing.”

Only Cale could talk about anal sex and manage to make it
sound like a compliment of the highest order. “Thank you. May I quote you in
the front flap of my book?” She grinned. “Will add weight that I know of what I
speak. And speaking of in-depth knowledge, would you be willing to give me some
insight on BDSM?”

He didn’t appear to hear her. “Nothing went as I planned
last night,” he said, still idly stroking her thigh. “And I caught myself in my
own trap.”

He stared off into the distance while she chewed on her lip
and searched for something to say. She wasn’t used to Cale looking so unsure.
Was it what had happened last night? That scene in the dungeon had been
extreme, at least in her world if not his.

Maybe he could use a distraction. Interviewing him for her
book would be perfect. He always enjoyed talking about sex and he clearly had
more clue than she did on that particular area of expertise. Or she could
interview his submissive.

Except the brunette wasn’t
his
submissive. They
weren’t anyone to each other. Just strangers. So there was no reason to worry
about him or his sexual practices. He was a big boy and could take care of
himself.

What she should be doing was convincing him to add his
valuable input to the Marcia Galvin Daly advice empire, rather than focusing on
aspects he could handle just fine on his own. She knew damn well he’d do his
own thing regardless of her fretting.

If she were a fretter. Which, of course, she wasn’t.

“What trap, Cale?” she asked gently.

“There’s no easy way to say this.”

A tickle vibrated in the back of her throat. A minute ago
she’d been concerned about him. But what if the problem was
her
? “Yes,
there is. Straight out.”

“Tony went to talk to her today. The woman from last night.”
More stroking, with the sides of his fingers now. “That drama with Kelly and
her PDA last year at the store made Tony feel guilty about his involvement. He
recriminated himself to death.”

Tony was such a sweetheart. Completely baffling to her
sometimes but sweet just the same. “Kelly was fine. She didn’t hold a grudge
about anything that went down. Besides, she got what she wanted—also known as
my brother—so where was the harm in having a little fun? So we enjoyed a few
laughs at her expense.” She shrugged. “Risk you run when you have a list of men
you want to fuck. That should stay strictly mental.”

He didn’t smile. “You know Tony. He felt as if he behaved
immaturely and this time he’s going to keep everything aboveboard.”

“That’s all well and good but isn’t it your place to talk to
the woman you were…
cropping
or whatever the hell it’s called?” She knew
damn well it wasn’t called cropping but he looked too serious and she wanted to
make him grin.

No dice.

Cale glanced away, his lips firm and unyielding. “I’m not
ready to go there. It’s too awkward. For chrissakes, how do you tell someone
you were part of a scene with them the night before when they were blindfolded?
She had no say in who touched her.”

“I got the impression she didn’t want to have a say. Isn’t
that why she was blindfolded and facedown on the table?”

“Still. It makes a difference, especially when—”

“What?” she asked sharply, cold tentacles she recognized as
fear unmercifully gripping her spine. “God, would you just tell me? I can
fucking take it.”

Dark hair flashed into her mind, that waterfall of it spread
over creamy shoulders. Long fingers tipped in blood-red nails. And the crack of
the crop that only intensified her moans.

All at once the reality of the situation slammed home. Her
boyfriend was privately meeting with a woman he’d seen practically naked the
night before. One hell of a hot, kinky woman no less. He must’ve talked to her,
arranged to meet her today. Was her lover even now cozied up with her at some
corner restaurant table, making sure she was okay? How had he gotten her
information? Worse, did he already know her?

“Tony’s talking to her and then he’s going to tell you who
she is.” Cale curled her suddenly stiff fingers into his palm. “He wouldn’t
ever keep something this big from you, Blondie.”

“Who was she?” she whispered.

He swallowed, hard. “It was Diana.”

* * * * *

Tony swallowed over the dryness in his mouth and lifted his
hand to knock on Diana’s office door. This would not be a fun conversation.
Unfortunately it was one he intended to have. If Cale didn’t want to say
anything, he had to because he wasn’t about to lie to Marsh for any reason.
This way Diana would have a heads-up.