Needing Nicole (The Cantrelle Family Trilogy Book 2) (27 page)

He’d been back in Houston for a little over a week. He had thought that the pain of leaving Nicole would fade, little by little.

It hadn’t.

Instead, each day the pain had intensified, until now it was like a great, gaping wound, throbbing and pulsing with a life of its own.

He couldn’t eat.

He couldn’t sleep.

He couldn’t concentrate.

He wished Gerald Crampton would give him a new assignment. Anything. Just to get him out of here. Maybe if he was sent to some remote jungle or some godforsaken desert or some place equally miserable, he’d be able to put thoughts of Nicole where they belonged: in the recesses of his memory where they could be trotted out occasionally to remember as a wonderful interlude in his life, but nothing more.

But Gerald Crampton had said, “There’s nothing doing anywhere right now, Jack. Besides, I want you to go to London right after New Year’s. I want you to cover the summit meeting the president has planned. That’s only about ten days away, so it’d be crazy to send you somewhere else now.” He’d bitten down on his cigar. “Just enjoy the Christmas holidays with your family, and relax, for Christ’s sake.”

Relax.

As if he could.

As if he wouldn’t sell his soul to relax. And forget.

But each waking moment, and all of his dreams, were filled with images of a laughing, dark-eyed, dark-haired woman. A woman who could turn his blood into fire and his bones into water. A woman who could take him to the highest peak with a simple touch. A woman who could send him to the deepest recesses of hell.

Which was exactly where he was now.

* * *

“Nicole, what’s wrong,
chere?
Are you sick?”

Nicole looked at her mother. “No, Mama, I’m fine.”

“Sure, you’re fine. That’s why you won’t eat my cookin’, that’s why you mopin’ around the house all day long, that’s why you don’ want to go to the
fais-dodo
with your brothers and sister.”

“Mama, just because I’m trying to lose a little weight and don’t feel like dancing tonight doesn’t mean I’m sick,” Nicole said tiredly. “I’ve been working hard lately. I need rest.”

“I’ve never known you to pass up a night of dancin’
chere,
unless you was sick... or in love.”

Nicole swallowed. She could feel her eyes filling with tears. God, she was weak. If she couldn’t even survive a little motherly questioning without breaking down, how did she hope to survive the rest of her life?

Arlette sat down at the kitchen table.
“Chere,
” she said softly. “What happened with you and Jack?”

The gentle question, the love shining in her mother’s eyes, were too much for Nicole. She flung herself into her mother’s arms, weeping like a child. “Oh, Mama, what am I going to do?” she cried. “I thought it was going to get easier, but it hasn’t.”

* * *

“Jack, I’m tired of looking at your long face,” Jenny said. “I thought we were supposed to be finding something for you to give to Mother.” It was midafternoon the day before Christmas Eve, and Jack and Jenny were standing on the second level of the Galleria, overlooking the ice skating rink. All around them last-minute shoppers rushed by, laughing and talking. Christmas carols sounded from the loudspeaker system, and the very air was charged with excitement and festivity.

Everyone, it seemed, was into the Christmas spirit.

Everyone, that is, except Jack.

Jack didn’t answer. He knew he was acting like a lovesick idiot. He just couldn’t seem to help himself.

Jenny sighed. “Jack, look at me.”

He turned. His sister’s blue eyes were filled with compassion. She smiled gently. She looked particularly lovely today, he thought, and wished he were better company for her.

“If you love her, why did you leave her?” Jenny asked.

He shrugged. His chest felt tight.

“Talk to me,” Jenny urged softly. “Maybe I can help.”

“No one can help.” Nothing could help. The only thing that could help would be having Nicole here, right now, and that was impossible.

“Try me.”

He sighed heavily. “Okay. Let’s go get a drink or something. Then we can talk.”

Over coffee in one of the small restaurants, Jack said, “I’ve never been in love before.”

Jenny smiled. “I know.”

“I’m not sure I like it.”

She chuckled. “I know that feeling, too.” She reached across the table, touched his hand. “Come on. Tell me what went wrong.”

His gaze met hers. “Nothing went wrong, not the way you mean. I just had to leave her, that’s all. And it hurts. It hurts like hell.”

Jenny’s tone was sympathetic. “Why did you have to leave her?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m not marriage material. I traipse all over the world. My home, if you can call it that, is a one-bedroom apartment in Houston. Nicole has a three-year-old-daughter, and she wants a regular family life—a home, a husband who’s there at night, and more kids.”

“And you can never give her that.”

“No. At least not that way.”

“Don’t you ever want to get married, Jack? Haven’t you ever considered it?”

He shrugged again. “Sure, I’ve thought about it. I mean, hell, I’m not crazy about always being alone, but I’ve never met a woman I wanted to marry before Nicole, and she wouldn’t be happy sharing my kind of life.”

“You asked her?”

“No.”

“I see.”

“No, you don’t see.” But a tiny spark of hope flared inside him. He stared at his sister, his heart thudding.

She met his gaze squarely.

“Maybe I
should
have asked her,” he said slowly.

Jenny shrugged. “No, I’m sure you’re right, Jack. You’re much better off finding someone who just wants a casual relationship, someone who just wants to have a good time. You’ll be happier that way.”

“I
won’t
be happier that way.”

“Nicole needs stability, security, family life.”

“I could give her all those things.”

“But you travel all over—”

“Maybe Nicole wouldn’t mind that.”

“No, Jack. You were right to leave her. I mean, after all, how much security and stability can a person have traveling all over the world? Just because the two of you would be together, just because you love each other—”

Jack studied his sister’s wise eyes. Hope bloomed. “Do you really think there might be a chance for us?”

A slow smile spread across Jenny’s face. “I certainly think it’s worth a shot, don’t you?”

* * *

Christmas Eve had always been one of Nicole’s favorite days in the whole year. She liked it even better than Christmas Day. Her family had all kinds of traditions for Christmas Eve. Arlette always put a big ham in the oven and to go along with it she’d fix fresh green beans and jambalaya, and of course, a big pot of gumbo. The turkey and trimmings were saved for Christmas Day.

After dinner, the family always gathered around the tree, and the adults opened the gifts they’d given to one another. The children were allowed to open the gifts from their aunts and uncles. Then the entire family, including the children, went to Midnight Mass.

Christmas morning, each family spent at their own homes, where Santa had always visited. This year, Aimee was so excited about Santa coming, she could hardly sit still.

Nicole tried to be happy, tried to enter into the spirit of the holiday she’d always loved so much, but she was having a hard time. Her mother kept sending her anxious glances, and Nicole knew her misery showed.

Right now, she and her mother were working in the kitchen. Soon the rest of the family would be there.

“Be careful of your dress,
chere,
” her mother said. “You better put an apron on.”

Nicole sighed. She reached for the apron, tied it over her red dress.

“Stir that gumbo, will you?” her mother said.

Nicole reached for the wooden spoon.

The doorbell rang.

Arlette said, “I wonder who that could be.”

Nicole shrugged. One of the neighbors, probably. It wasn’t the family. They’d just walk in.

From the living room she heard her father talking and Aimee’s excited squeal, then the sound of another male voice.

She stopped stirring. She forgot to breathe. The other voice sounded like... no. Impossible.

“Nicole,
chere,”
her father said as he entered the kitchen, a big smile splitting his face. “Someone is here to see you.”

And then Aimee, holding onto Jack’s hand, led him into the kitchen. Jack—dressed in a white turtleneck sweater, dark gray jacket and gray jeans. Jack—with an apprehensive expression on his face. Jack—who looked as if he wasn’t sure what kind of welcome he’d get.

The wooden spoon clattered to the floor. Nicole stared at him, completely incapable of speech or coherent thought. In her wildest dreams, she’d never imagined a more unlikely scenario.

Jack smiled tentatively. “Merry Christmas, Nicole.”

“Jack,” she whispered. What was he doing here?

“Réne,” Arlette said. “Why don’ you help me with the gumbo? You come and stir, and Nicole—she and Jack can go into the livin’ room.” She turned to Aimee. “And you,
chere,
you stay here with your grandmama and grandpapa.”

“But, Grandma!” Aimee protested.

“Listen to your grandmama,” Réne said firmly, his tone brooking no argument, and Aimee reluctantly let go of Jack’s hand.

Jack bent down and hugged her. “I’ll see you later, honey.”

“Promise?” Aimee said.

“I promise.”

Then Jack straightened and reached for Nicole’s hand. “Come on,” he said softly. Like someone walking in her sleep, Nicole let herself be led into the relative privacy of the living room, which was lit only by the twinkling colored lights of the big Christmas tree in front of the picture window.

Nicole trembled as he turned her to face him. But the next minute, she was in his arms, and he was holding her close. “Oh, God, Nicole, I’ve missed you so much,” he murmured against her hair.

Her heart was going like a demented thing. She lifted her face. His blue gaze fastened on hers. She was afraid to hope.

His hands cradled her face, and he dipped his head. When his cool lips met hers, something fell apart inside Nicole, and a sob erupted. She pushed at him. “No.” she said brokenly. “No. I can’t take this. Jack, why have you come? I don’t want you here unless...” She could feel the tears, and she didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself.

“I love you, Nicole. I love you. That’s why I’m here. These past two weeks without you have been the worst kind of hell. I found out I don’t want to live my life without you. And I came here to tell you so. To see if there’s still a chance for me. For us.”

Oh, God. She was still afraid to hope. Still afraid he’d change his mind. “I... oh, Jack.”

He pulled her back into his arms, lifted her chin. With his thumb he wiped away her tears. “Oh, my love, please don’t cry. I’m sorry I hurt you. Can you forgive me?”

She nodded. The tears still flowed. She couldn’t seem to stop them.

“Nicole,” he murmured, “I have to know. Do you love me?”

“Yes. Yes, I love you. I’ve always loved you. Didn’t you know that?”

He kissed her then, a long, deep, drugging kiss that had her head reeling and her heart pounding. She wound her arms around his neck, clinging to him as if she’d never let him go. Finally, they drew apart. He smiled down at her. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that?”

She smiled, too, and the last of her fears and uncertainties vanished.

“Let’s go sit over there,” Jack said softly. He motioned to the sofa.

When they were sitting side by side, his arm around her, he leaned down and kissed her again. “I’ll never get enough of kissing you,” he whispered against her mouth. Then he drew back and his eyes were sober.

A tiny fear jabbed at Nicole, but his words dispelled it as quickly as it had come.

“Nicole, will you marry me? Will you marry me and travel with me? Could you be happy making our home wherever my work takes me, at least until Aimee’s a little older?”

A great joy filled her heart. She wanted to shout. She wanted to sing. She’d taken the greatest gamble of her life, and she’d won. Still, she couldn’t resist teasing him. After all, he
had
put her through the most miserable two weeks she’d ever known in her entire life. “Well, I don’t know,” she said with a soft chuckle. “It all depends on how many trips home to Patinville you’ll let me take in a year.”

He grinned. “As many as you want.”

“Three?”

“Of course.”

“Four?”

He gave a mock frown. “Now, don’t push your luck! I may be in love, but I’m not a complete pushover!”

She tried to keep her face serious. “How about kids? How many kids do you see us having?”

He laughed and captured her upturned mouth in another breath-stopping kiss. “How many kids do you want?” he muttered when he let her up for air.

“Oh, about six,” she said.

“God, you drive a hard bargain.” He gave her a hard kiss full of promise, then stood, pulling her with him. He reached into his jacket pocket. His eyes were shining as he handed her a small velvet jeweler’s box.

So happy she could hardly think, Nicole snapped open the lid. A beautiful diamond solitaire sparkled with all the lights of the tree. “Oh, Jack, it’s so lovely.”

Just then Aimee came racing into the room. “Grandpa said I could come in now!” she announced happily. Her brown eyes gleamed with excitement. “ What’s that?”

Jack grinned at her, then removed the ring from the box and slipped it on the ring finger of Nicole’s left hand.

“Oh, Mommy,” Aimee said, eyes wide. “A ring! It’s so pretty!”

“This ring means your Mommy and I are engaged.”

“’gaged?” Aimee said, frowning.

Jack laughed. “Yes, engaged. That means we’re going to get married.”

Aimee’s eyes got even wider. “Really?” she squealed. “Does that mean you’ll be my daddy?”

“Would you like that?”

“Uh-huh!”
Aimee beamed. “I love you, Jack Rabbit!”

Jack’s eyes gleamed suspiciously bright, Nicole thought, as he bent down and scooped Aimee up in his arms. He kissed her cheek, and as Nicole’s gaze met his over Aimee’s head, happiness clogged her throat.