Need Us (7 page)

He takes a deep swallow and nods his head. I turn towards the wedding reception.

“Don’t get your panties into a bunch there girl!” I shout over the crowd, striding towards Wes in her beautiful gown.

“You, kind sir, shall not speak about my underwear. That’s just rude.” Chutney’s blonde hair is down around her shoulders and she has her hands on her hips. “You hear that babe? Royal’s talking about my underwear!”

I frantically look around for Chutney’s tall, dark and deadly husband. You don’t want to fuck with that guy. Even if I had all the guys at this wedding standing behind me, I’d still be scared to death. So would Chutney’s family and I’m pretty sure that’s why they let him marry her.

Chutney is Ashley’s sister-in-law. Meaning Chutney’s older brother, Damien, is vice president of a motorcycle club. That means Chutney’s got a ton of over-protective dudes constantly watching her. Poor girl.

Chutney’s husband raises his glass towards me and smiles. It’s not mean or predatory so I smile back and raise my hand in greeting.

I take Wesley’s hand and put my other around her waist. Her hand goes to my shoulder and she beams up at me. “Are we going to Waltz? Yay!”

I laugh as Chutney starts to sing some slow song I haven’t heard before. That’s unusual considering how much I love music. Chutney loves it more and probably knows every song ever created. Every band ever formed too.

“You look so fucking beautiful, Duchess.” I lean forward to whisper in her ear, making sure my lips touch the shell. “I wanna eat you up.”

I bring my head back and watch as she blushes and bites her lip. “You are so bad, Royal. I swear I can’t take you anywhere.”

“I can’t help myself. You get me going and all you have to do is stand there.” She laughs and places her head on my shoulder as the song changes. I don’t even listen to it; I just want to hold my wife in my arms. “You really are though. Most beautiful fucking person on this earth, and you’re all mine.”

“I don’t deserve the shit you say to me. I feel like a school girl on her first date every time.” She rubs her face against my chest and I know she’s trying to hold her tears in.

I hold her tighter even though her hair is tickling my nose. “You deserve every thing I say to you. And probably more but I am only one man.”

We dance for a while in silence just holding onto each other. I don’t notice the people dancing around us, or which song Chutney is singing. I just hold Wesley and pray to God I get to spend every day for the rest of my life with her.

“Do you think Pierce and Rachel will be okay?” Wesley whispers into my chest.

I smooth my hand over the small of her back, trying to relieve the stress I feel there. “I think your cousin is the only person on this earth who can get Rachel to do anything. So I’m positive they will work everything out. And I’m also positive I’ll be helping him bury Donovan’s body.”

“I can’t believe Donovan did this. He used to be so happy and carefree. I remember that about him, clearly. What the fuck went wrong?” She sniffs and I know she’s on the verge of tears. I’ve had to chase more tears then I would like off this girl’s face because of her family.

“Annabella.” She pulls her head away from my chest and looks up at me. “I mean, look what she did to Ashley and Victor. Whether or not she’s changed over the years, she still destroyed a lot of people.”

“Well I’m sure glad she’s changed. Considering she married the mob boss of Dallas, she could have all of us killed in our sleep and we wouldn’t even know it.” She follows that statement with a shiver and I almost burst out laughing.

“Duchess, Sage wouldn’t do anything to piss off Damien or any of the Wrath’s. And having us killed would really piss off Ashley. Nobody wants her knocking on their door pissed off and looking for blood.”

She chuckles and pulls out of my arms as the song ends. “Okay, we seriously need to stop talking about this shit. Let’s go mingle before my mother shows up and makes us.”

That’s how I end up following my wife around as she talks to every single person at our wedding. Some I don’t mind talking to but others I would have rather died. Like Great Aunt Agatha. That woman feels up my butt every time she sees me. And Wes thinks it’s funny.

After a while we end up seated at our table with pieces of cake in front of us. Wesley and I can’t stop messing around but my mom should have expected that. We mess around constantly; it’s what we do.

Channing finally brings it to an end by standing up to give his Best Man speech. He wasn’t worried about standing up in front of all these people and telling them how much he loves me. We have a strong bromance and it won’t be denied.

“I’ve known Royal since I was five years old. And for every year since then there isn’t a memory I don’t cherish involving Royal. He’s always been my best friend. He’s also the best friend anyone on this planet could have. He’s brave, loyal, full of life and knows just what to do to bring me out of my shell and face the world.” He turns from the crowd and looks at Wesley and I. “I remember the day he told me about Wesley. We were in the locker room after swim team practice. He looked at me and said ‘She takes my breath away and I don’t know what I’d do without her.’” He faces the crowd again holding up his champagne glass. “I know how that feels and I’m so incredibly happy these two decided to spend the rest of their lives together. No one deserves a happy ending more than these two. So congratulations Wesley Sanders, you’re stuck with his goofy ass now!” Then he takes a sip out of his glass and every one follows.

He sounds happy and carefree but I know he’s not. I know he’s hurting and I can’t do a thing to stop it. I can’t do a thing to change how he feels about Paisley. I wish I could take it all away.

Channing

I wake up with my head pounding. There’s a body next to me and I keep my eyes closed because I know I can’t look at her. I can’t believe what I did last night. What the hell is wrong with me?

Does it make me a bastard that I want to run from this room without even acknowledging her? But then I want to stay and hold her because I know it’ll feel good. I missed the way she felt next to me. I missed the way she smells and how soft her skin is.

I feel her move against me and I pop my eyes open. Her blue-green ones are the first thing I see, staring straight into mine. Her red hair is wild and my fingers itch to flatten it down. God how I missed how she looks in the morning after we fucked all night.

I move quickly before I fall back into old habits. Once I stand up, her hand grabs mine. I don’t want to turn around and look at her but I do. There’s a force I can’t see stringing us together. When my eyes meet hers again she says, “Stay.”

How did I even end up in this situation?

***

I think I’ve had two glasses of champagne and three whiskey sours. I’m working on my fourth. I’ll need a lot more before this night is over considering the bane of my existence is here and she won’t stop looking at me.

When I first met her, I used to stare at her all the time. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I felt like a fucking stalker and I knew I was on the verge of being just that. I had wanted her and I fought that so hard. I used to move through the hallways at school like a shadow and watch as she left her class. She was so introverted at that point she didn’t even notice. Hell, I think she’s still introverted. I don’t think she could ever change that. She doesn’t like attention so she pretends it’s not there. She got so good at pretending, she really didn’t notice anything.

I feel like the stalked now. Her eyes follow me everywhere I go. Talking to Pierce about Donovan. Dancing with Rachel. Sitting in the corner playing a game with Asher. Every time I go to the bar her eyes are on me. No one says anything about it, but they all know. Rachel has that look in her eyes, the one that means she’s about to go off on someone. She’s pissed off on my behalf and I don’t have the heart to tell her I can handle the bitch.

I’m the only person who could ever handle her.

After three hours of her staring at me, I decide I can’t handle it anymore. I throw back the rest of my whiskey and I stalk towards her. She looks surprised when I grab her arm and yank her towards the back of the room. Then I lead her out into the empty hall.

She leans against one side and I lean against the opposite side. Then we just stare at each other. It’s been a little over a year and I can’t think of what to say to her. It’s like we know each other but we don’t. It makes me think of when we first met. I didn’t know what to say to her then either.

“Why did you bring me out here?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Not because she’s mad, no, she’s turned on. She doesn’t like for people to notice her pebbled nipples. In a few more seconds she’ll tighten her thighs and she’ll be thinking about getting a new pair of panties.

I shrug my shoulders. That’s when I see the anger twinkle in her eyes. Now she’s thinking of hitting me while I watch her tighten her thighs. We are creatures of habit. This is habit for us if nothing else. Fighting, getting angry and then finding somewhere to fuck because that’s what we do. Even when we were unbelievably happy that’s what we did.

I hate how much I miss her.

“You know, if you want to talk, then you have to speak. I know you. There’s always something you want to say.” She uncrosses her arms and I feel it straight to my groin because her nipples are hard. They strain against her dress and I want to pull the fabric down and suck one of the pink pretties into my mouth.

I shrug again. She wouldn’t talk to me a year ago, wouldn’t explain why she left. There’s no reason why I should talk to her now. I want to torture her for some reason. The thing about that though is I’m torturing myself just by being in her presence.

The tension pings against the walls around us. It’s in the air and you can actually feel it, it’s pulling us together. It has always bound us together. What we felt for each other was more than love. We are and will always be soul mates. She and I are one and it kills me inside. When I just needed her to love me, talk to me, she couldn’t do it. I don’t trust her and I hate her while I’m more in love with her than I’ve ever been before.

It’s probably all the alcohol or maybe it’s just her, but I cross the hallway and I get in her space. I look down to watch her clench her fists against the wall. We don’t touch but our eyes lock and this feels all too familiar.

Her hands come up and land on my chest. It’s like an electrical cord shocked me. I almost groan. I haven’t felt a woman’s touch in a year. I haven’t even tried to feel anyone but her since the day I met her. When she lifts up on her toes I know what she’s going to do. Her lips touch mine and chill bumps break out all over my body. My dick immediately stands at attention.

I don’t kiss her back though. I just stand there. I want to hear her say it. I know she wants me, she knows I want her. We’ve done this so many times, played this game with each other. This time is different though. This is the last time. “Kiss me,” she whispers and I finally do. Sinking my tongue into her warm mouth I slam her into the wall, meshing our lips together.

My hands reach down to pull her dress up around her hips. Her hands go right for my pants. The button comes undone then the zipper comes down. Her panties get pushed down. She steps out of them and I drop to the floor on my haunches. My hand moves her right leg over my shoulder so I can shove my face into her. I use my other hand to grab her panties off the floor. They get shoved into my pocket while my tongue plays around her clit. I missed this and how much she loves it. Her hands sink into my hair and I do groan. It’s the little things you miss when you can’t be with the one you love.

For a girl who’s so prudish outside of bed, you’d think she’d notice we are doing this in a public place where anyone could walk out and see us. I didn’t even lock the door that opens into the hallway.

I shove my tongue into her slick channel and that’s all it takes, she’s shooting off like a rocket. She grinds her sex into my face, muffling her moans with her other hand. I want to laugh and tell her she’s not helping but I don’t. We aren’t going to be playful. This is strictly to scratch an itch. One I’ve had for a year and she’s the only one with nails long enough to reach.

I stand up and stare down at her. Her face is flushed and she’s panting. Her hand reaches for my junk and she shoves my pants down around my thighs. My dick reaches out towards her and we both look down at it. Then we both move at once. She wraps her arms around my neck and my hands slide down to her ass so I can hold her against me.

I’m not gentle. I don’t think I’ve ever been gentle when it comes to Paisley. I shove into her, hard. We both groan and I can’t believe how tight she is. It’s like sticking my dick into a virgin. Which means she hasn’t had sex in a really long time. Probably not since we had sex last.

She grinds while I thrust, our mouths fused together. I make her taste herself and that seems to make her grind harder. God that feels so fucking good. We don’t speak as I fuck her into the wall.

Then I do something I never thought I would do again. I place my forehead on hers and stare into her eyes. It isn’t long before I feel her inner walls clutching against my dick. The tingle starts in my lower back and before long it’s so good, I see nothing but white light.

When I come back down she’s still wrapped around me. Her hand sinks in and out of my hair. I find my mouth against her neck and I’m pissed at myself for that. There was only one time I lost control of myself and I bit her too hard. That night we fucked on her car. The first time we ever had sex and she ran from me like the hounds of hell were at her heels.

I felt like a freak then. I felt so low; like I’d done something to her that she didn’t want. I don’t think she realized that, not even after it happened. That she hurt me more in that moment then she ever has since. Not even when she left me last year. And that says something.

This time though it’s my turn to run. I set her down gently before tucking my dick back into my pants. At least this time she didn’t pop all the buttons off my shirt. Before I can turn and run, she grabs my hand. I look back at her and she says the one thing I’d never thought I’d hear her say. Not after she broke my heart. “Come home with me.”

I start to open my mouth to tell her to fuck off but she stops me. “Just for tonight.” She pulls me along until we get to the back of the building. She leads me through the door and then quickly over to her Camaro.

I find myself in the driver’s seat while she takes the passenger. She always hated someone driving her car and I only got to drive it on special occasions. I don’t think about that right now though. I just drive it to her house. Or the guesthouse behind her grandparent’s house. I see Brody’s SUV in the main driveway. He must have left the reception early. Lola’s having a baby soon and they have her on bed rest. Poor girl. This is their third child. Here’s hoping they don’t have anymore after this.

Paisley gets out and walks towards the guesthouse. It hasn’t changed any since we lived in it together. Henry, I think, always kept it the same in case Paisley ever wanted to come home. I guess he had a point there considering she did come home.

Only problem is she left me behind.

I get out of the car and Paisley rounds the vehicle only to grab my hand and pull towards the house. Once we enter the living room she opens her mouth to speak but I stop her with my hand. “No talking. That isn’t what this is.” Then I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom.

***

“Stay,” she says.

I debate it in my head for a few minutes. Last night shouldn’t have happened. That’s what she does to me, makes me forget all the shit that happened between us. I know we’ll always be drawn together, that’s what happens when you love someone with all your heart. No matter what she’s done to me, I know she loved me once, with all her heart.

Images fly through my head of last night. Her riding me hard, her head thrown back, her breasts bouncing right in my face. Her red hair in my hands while she stared into my eyes when she came. The heat of her mouth wrapped around my dick and the sound of her moans while I fucked her into the bed.

Then I get a different set of images. The look on Margret’s face when she brought me the letter. The shape of the church after my breakdown. The total destruction of my life. Sad faces standing over me, Wesley in tears because she can’t handle it when anyone is sad. Lily smoothing her hand over my face, calming me down.

I yank my hand away from Paisley, hard. I start grabbing up my clothes, pulling them on without looking at her. I know what she’ll see. The same look on my face from a year ago. I know it makes me a fucked up individual that I like that. I want to hurt her. I want her in pain, to feel what I felt. Rejection is a disease inside of me and I won’t rest until she’s got the same thing.

“Channing…” She trails off but I still don’t look at her. If I look at her I’ll stay and I don’t need that. I shouldn’t have let last night happen. I know better. Her magic vagina, the absolute beauty of her actually, it’s all a trap designed to make you stay.

“Make me, Channing. Make me fall. Push me, shove me, just make sure I get there.”
Those words she spoke to me so long ago, they still stay with me. But I’m no longer that guy; I won’t make her do anything.

And she sure as fuck won’t make me do anything.

I finally get all my clothes on and I storm out of the house. Though I come up short when I find a huge German Shepard standing in my way.

Maggie.

She sits on her butt with her tongue hanging out. She gives me a bark in greeting and I scratch behind her ears. I wish I had time to love on her. This dog has been a part of my life for so long, it’s been weird not having her around the past year. I missed the shit out of her.

I walk around her and head towards Richard’s house. Hoping with all my might that Margret isn’t standing at the kitchen sink watching me leave Paisley’s house. I don’t really care anyway. It’ll just be awkward when I refuse to talk about it or acknowledge that it even happened.

When my phone starts ringing I groan. I look down at the screen and let out a breath of relief. It’s only Pierce. I swipe the screen to answer and put it up to my ear. “What’s up?”

“I’m going over to Van’s today. You want to head over there with me later?” I hear a pan slam down in the background. Must be cooking something.

I’m not surprised when my stomach growls. I hardly ate anything yesterday and after all the sex, I’m sure I’ve worked up an appetite.

“Yeah I want to go. Can I call you back though? I’m kind of trekking through the woods right now.” I hear my slacks rip on a branch and let out a curse. The path has gotten overgrown since I no longer travel it every day.

There’s a pause on the phone and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Why are you trekking through the woods? And what woods would this be?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. Like ever,” I grumble, swatting limbs out of my way. Maggie barks behind me but I ignore her.