Naughty Bits Part III: Bound to Please (4 page)

“You look nothing like him,” she said, meeting his gaze. “And I don’t mean physically. From the first moment I met you, I knew I could trust you. Even when I’ve been afraid, that comes from me, not anything you’ve done. My sister told me I could trust you with anything.” She swallowed. “Even my soul.
You haven’t done a thing yet to make me feel differently.”

It was the truth, she knew it. All her fears about Logan came from her own history, her lack of faith in herself, her certainty that fate or her own actions were going to destroy what seemed to be a growing bond between them, because they always did.

Since Logan had been Alice’s primary caregiver until three days before her death, Madison had assumed he’d seen Alice’s final letter to her, the part where she’d said Madison could trust Logan more than anyone. Yet his reaction now told her otherwise. He wasn’t a man to show softer emotions easily, so she reached out, closed her hand over his arm, reinforcing her belief.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. He put his hand over hers for another brief squeeze, and then he moved toward the back room. He needed to go, she knew he did. She wasn’t sure if Troy could hold Veronica there indefinitely the way Logan could, though Troy was far more resourceful and determined than it had first appeared. She’d jumped to some pretty stereotypical assumptions about a man who wanted to belong fully to a Mistress.

But what about herself? When she’d thought
I am a submissive
, she’d felt that was true. Yet she was running a business, had just held her own against an asshole who outweighed her and got through life by bullying others. “Submissive” didn’t equal “timid” or “doormat.” It seemed the more she embraced that side of herself, the better opinion she had of herself.

Even so, she hadn’t really explored the other side of things, had she? Logan had assumed from the beginning she would embrace a submissive’s role. While so far nothing had said differently—
boy howdy
—she wondered if that was because Logan was a hetero Dom who naturally drew out submissive cravings in a woman as part of his skills, or because it had never occurred to him to look for anything different from her. Well, she could look for it from herself, couldn’t she?

“How did you recognize it . . . in me? That I’d be open to the submission thing?” She asked it abruptly, bringing him to a halt.

“It’s a feeling I get. For instance, I’m not so sure Veronica is a sub. She might have a dysfunctional family history that made her prey for the likes of that asshole. Until she gets clear of that, there’s too much storm debris to know what her soul really looks like. But you . . .”

He inclined his head. “I’m not sure how good an idea it is to say this, but it shines from you like a beacon. You’re not her. You’re healthy and strong, you feel and you grieve cleanly. You also want and need with such power, it’s irresistible. I don’t know about those shit-for-brains men you’ve been with, Madison, and I wish I could have spared you the pain they caused you, but I won’t regret a minute of it if it brought you to me as the person you are.”

What would seem like bullshit charm or stalker craziness from anyone else always received an answering tone inside her chest when the words came from him. But she wasn’t ready to be boxed into something when she wasn’t sure about all the other possible boxes in the room. He’d said he liked her assertive side, right?

“What if I wanted to give it a try? The shoe-on-the-other-foot thing?”

“You want to try being a Domme?” The genuine surprise in his gaze was gratifying, proof that she could do something he didn’t expect.

“Yes. I think . . . yes. At least once. But I don’t think I could do it with a stranger. It wouldn’t be a real test. I’d be too divided between not knowing him and what I was trying to figure out about myself.” She gave him a hopeful look. “Care to change sides for one night?”

He chuckled. “As tempting and terrifying as it sounds to be at your mercy, I’m a Dom down to the bone, and it would skew your test results. How about Troy?”

She remembered Troy’s body against her, his lips in her hair. The way he’d responded to Logan. “Oh . . . well, yes,” she said. Cleared her throat.

He grinned. “I’ll try not to let that blush and eager light in your eye aggravate me. Much. Let me talk to his Mistress about it. She’d have to clear anything like that.”

“And Troy. I wouldn’t want to compromise his friendship in any way.”

“Part of their contract is that she can share him if she desires. He trusts her to know him well enough to care for him. She might want to be present, though. No Dominant in their right mind allows their sub to be shared without overseeing his well-being, unless they know the Master or Mistress well enough, like Shale knows me. But even with me supervising, she might still want to be there.” He gave her an amused look. “That’s as much for her to remind Troy who his Mistress is as to protect him. She doesn’t worry about Troy transferring his affections to me. Boy’s pretty straight, though he’ll take it up the ass for her without a blink.”

After that bald statement, and a wink, he disappeared behind her curtain, leaving her whirling over a whole new set of possibilities. Her gaze moved to the wall, where a pair of thigh-high boots and a black corset were displayed against the backdrop of a two-dimensional silhouette of a woman’s body. Imagining herself in such an outfit, slapping a paddle against a gloved hand, she blanched. What the hell was she thinking?

* * *

Though another set of customers kept her busy, she saw Logan pull out of their shared alley in his truck. He had Veronica with him and lifted his hand to Madison as he went by. She assumed he’d left the store in Troy’s hands.

He didn’t return until late afternoon. When the truck passed by her display window, she caught a glimpse of his face. He looked tired. Perhaps the day’s events had left him dispirited. It made sense, given how important a part of his life this was. She expected it was the same thing a social service or humane society worker felt every time they encountered an abuse case, the evil of fellow men sapping their soul.

When she checked her rear security camera, she saw he’d put down the tailgate of his truck and was sitting on it. Not doing anything, really, just staring into space. Maybe he’d prefer his privacy, but it twisted her heart and she couldn’t stop herself from wanting to help. Late afternoon was a slow period for her, so she put the clock sign on a thirty-minute return and went out through the back storeroom, taking him out a coffee and her last piece of cake.

He eyed her as she emerged. “Trying to make me fat, woman?”

“I think you can absorb a calorie or two, as busy as you and Troy stay all day long in that store. Want some company? I can just leave the cake and coffee if you don’t.”

“You’re kind,” he said quietly. “I can’t imagine a moment when your company wouldn’t brighten my day.” He offered her a hand to help her onto the tailgate.

“Charmer.” But she settled next to him, swinging her feet next to his, planted solidly in his work shoes on the ground thanks to his greater height. “How’s Veronica?”

“Safe with Becky for the time being. She’s pretty docile, all in all, but that can be deceptive. Because it was such a destructive relationship, almost like a drug addiction, later tonight is when she’ll start to deal with withdrawal, from being away from him. If she’s still there three days from now, her odds of staying will be much higher.”

He leaned back, bracing himself with one arm, sipped his coffee. “How did you know I like coffee on a hot day?”

“I’ve seen you with a steaming cup by the cash register when it was ninety outside. True sign of a caffeine addict, and a purist. You don’t do iced coffees, Frappuccinos . . .”

He snorted. “No. But I can do your lemon cake all day long. Yours is a little different from Alice’s, but just as good.”

“We make it the same way.”

“It’s the flavor of the hands that make it,” he said. “You emphasize the density of it, the weight. Alice focused on making it as light as air. You’re the earth, she’s the sky.”

“Are you a shaman in your spare time?”

He smiled, put his arm around her and slid her closer, so they were hip to hip, then braced his arm again so she could lean inside the triangle of it and his broad shoulder.

She nudged his knee with hers. “What do you do, besides this? Run the store, make BDSM furniture? Train subs and do whip demonstrations. Watch movies with me.” Her nose crinkled. “Come to think of it, that’s a pretty full schedule, if you add in eating and sleeping.”

“It is. But I find time for things. My house is on the outskirts of Matthews. It was a small farm at one time, about thirty acres with a pond, but now I just maintain the property. I have a bigger furniture workshop in the barn. Most of what I have at this location are showroom pieces, though I always keep a couple in process for when I prefer to work here.”

“Why’d we watch the movie at my place, instead of there?”

The corner of his mouth tugged up. “I figured you’d be more comfortable in your own surroundings until we got to know each other better. My place is fairly isolated.”

She smiled. “Plus, as a bachelor, you’d have to clean the place up with a shovel if I was coming over.”

He looked pained. “That makes me sound like a typically lazy male, averse to domestic chores. Which, while wildly true, is stereotyping.”

She chuckled. “What do you do out there?”

“Float around in a boat on the pond, read. Bushhog about twice a year. Mow the lawn right around the house. Do basic maintenance when needed. Watch cable. I have a berm I’ve created so I can practice my shooting, stay up with that. Chase deer away from the bird feeders.”

“You shoot at the deer?”

“No. I shoot at the berm. I chase the deer.”

She laughed outright as he made motions with his fingers like running. “You have bird feeders?”

“Of course. I like watching them. And the squirrels. It’s a very manly pursuit. I have a shirt from the Humane Society that says Real Men Love Animals, so there’s your proof. Besides, animals are the ultimate example of purely dominant/submissive relationships. I learn a lot, watching them.”

It sounded like a nice existence, a complex man with simple tastes. And she realized she’d asked him more about himself, outside of being a Dom, something she’d been reluctant to do in the past. More progress. As she was mulling that over, he nudged her. “So, Ms. Librarian, what do you want to do to Troy? I talked to Shale on the way back, and she’s game. No sex.”

“Of course.” Madison started. “I hadn’t even considered it.”

“Good.” His obvious emphasis made her glance up at him through her lashes. He gave her a disparaging look. “Don’t look smug. We’ll have the session in my back room, since I have all the tools and equipment you’ll need. If that suits you.”

“Yes. Hmm.” She noticed Logan was waiting her out, not guiding her as he usually seemed to do. Maybe he was patiently respecting her need to gather her thoughts. Waiting for her to voice what she needed. She’d said she wanted to try the other side of things, and that meant taking charge.

“I’d like to restrain him. Something simple, since I don’t really have any rope tying skills. I may also want to use a blindfold, so I can touch him without him looking at me. Is it about what I want, or about what he wants? Do I need to talk to him first about limits, safe words?”

“Usually, yes, but I know him so well, he’ll rely on me to keep you guided so you don’t have to get bogged down in all that. His safe word is
goddess
.”

Amusement surged through her. “How clever of him. To gasp out an appeal to a goddess when he needs relief.”

“Yeah. One of many reasons Shale’s as besotted with him as he is with her. They’re both young.”

“Versus you.” She swept her gaze over his powerful torso. “Positively doddering and feeble.”

“Keep it up. You still have that pain session coming.”

“Unless I choose not to do it.”

“Yep,” he said, unruffled. She eyed him.

“You don’t seem worried.”

“It’s not that.” His gaze became more serious. “It is your choice, Madison. Always. But yes, I think you want the session, so no, I’m not too worried about you backing out. Though you may get some stage fright right before. That’s normal. And I reserve the right to use all methods at my disposal to bully or seduce you onto the stage.”

“Not coax, plead or beg?”

“I’m not the begging type.”

No, he certainly wasn’t. She settled back against his arm, still wanting to rile him a little. “So how about using a strap-on with Troy? Does that count as sex?”

“It’s a gray area.” She bit back a smile at the clipped tone. “I can ask Shale.”

“So how big a . . . thing . . . could he could take comfortably?”

“Maybe you should stick to the basics the first time out. Restraints, mild flogging, psychological domination. He can also perform oral sex on you, bring you to climax, that kind of thing.”

“You’d prefer that to the strap-on.”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Isn’t it?”

He straightened then, putting the coffee aside. “Don’t play games with me, Madison.”

“I’m not.” She slid off the tailgate, suddenly uncomfortable. He caught her arm, standing up as well.

“I get your desire to explore this from all sides,” he said firmly, “but that doesn’t alter what’s developing between us. You know where a session ends and a relationship begins. I don’t have an on/off switch. My expertise in this area doesn’t replace my emotions. You push me, I will push back. No, I don’t like the idea of you doing this with Troy. That first time, when you were watching me conduct a session with Troy, how would you have felt if I’d been working with a woman instead? Tying her up, touching her, bringing her to orgasm?”

“I . . . well, you hardly knew me then, and . . .”

“How would you feel about it now?”

She recoiled, and his eyes flickered. “At some point you have to decide which side of the line you’re on,” he said. “You have to close the door behind you and stay awhile, settle in and see where this takes us. We’re still close enough to the beginning stages we can have fun with it, but I don’t think there’s any question we’re headed down a more serious path. So this thing with Troy, is it a true desire, a desire to explore more about yourself, or is it a way to hold me at arm’s length, keep me as the ringmaster of your personal circus?”