Natural-Born Protector / Saved by the Monarch (12 page)

“For the last couple of days and nights you haven’t mentioned any more nonsense about doing your own investigating. I figured you’d come to your senses,” he said flatly.

“I never lost my senses.” There was a definite coolness in her voice and a hot fire in her eyes.

“What you need to do is stop it,” he exclaimed. “You need to leave it alone, Melody, before you get killed.”

“I can’t leave it alone,” she retorted as she rose from the chair. “Lainie needed me while she was alive and she still needs me to find her killer.”

He rocked back on his heels, anger rising inside him. He stared at her for a long moment, trying to temper his words, but was unsuccessful and instead just let his thoughts rip out of his mouth. “You know what I think? I think it was never about Lainie’s needs. I think it’s always been about
your
needs. You needed her and now that she’s gone you’re clinging to her because you’re afraid to face your own life.”

He wasn’t sure where the words had come from, but they felt right falling from his mouth. Throughout the last couple of days he’d heard plenty about her relationship
with her sister and he knew the fancy term
code-pendent
definitely applied.

The fact that she’d been beaten and could have died was bad enough. The fact that she didn’t intend to stop both terrified and enraged him.

“I think you’ve said enough,” she exclaimed, a warning light shining from her eyes.

He was angry and reckless. The anger was a clean, uncomplicated emotion compared to his feelings for her, and he embraced it. “Dammit, Melody, go home. Go back to Chicago and forget all this. Let Zack catch the killer.”

Her chest heaved and she stalked up directly in front of him. “Nobody decides when it’s time for me to go back to Chicago except me.” She poked him in the chest with two fingers. “And that includes you.”

He grabbed her hand in his. “You’re on a fool’s mission and I can’t be a part of your madness any longer.”

She jerked her hand from his. “Then don’t.”

Shrugging his shoulders, he once again shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the door. “Okay then, you’re on your own.”

He hoped that his bowing out would make her come to her senses and stop pursuing things that could only get her hurt. Dammit, what he wanted to do was tie her to his bedposts until she had a plane ticket back to Chicago in her hand.

“You have to let go of the grief and get on with your life,” he said. As much as he’d hate to tell her goodbye, he knew with a gut-burning certainty that at the moment she was bent on a course of disaster.

He opened the door with every intention of barreling out of it and out of her life, but he paused as she called after him.

“Hank Tyler, you stop right there. You’ve said your piece and now I’m about to say mine,” she exclaimed.

M
elody was mad enough to spit. Who did he think he was to say the things he had, then just waltz out the door? “If we’re talking truths here, then let me tell you what I think,” she began.

He slammed the door with his heel and faced her, those blue eyes of his filled with confrontation. “And what would that be?”

“I think you have a lot of nerve telling me I need to let go of my grief. I’ve had less than a month to mourn for my sister. You’ve had over two years to mourn your wife and get on with your life, but you seem hell-bent on punishing yourself, denying yourself any chance at happiness.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, but she saw that her words had hit a sore place by the tightening of his facial features.

Thick emotion pressed against her chest, making her ribs ache as much as her heart. Tears misted her vision but she refused to let her tears or the love she had for him keep her silent.

“I’ll tell you what I do know,” she said, her voice trembling. “I know that you’re a cowboy…a rancher. Every time you talk about the ranch you owned, your eyes light up and you smile from your heart. I don’t know why you’ve chosen the path you’ve taken to become a bodyguard, but if anyone is flirting with disaster, it’s you.”

“I can take care of myself,” he scoffed.

Melody drew a deep breath, recognizing that the next words she intended to say would cross a line from which there would probably be no going back. But, if she could accomplish only one thing while she was here, this would be her choice for the child she’d grown to love.

“Yes, you can take care of yourself and you’re doing a damn fine selfish job of it.”

His eyes narrowed to dark blue slits and knotted muscles formed in his jaw. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re taking a job that in a worst-case scenario might see you dead and in the best-case scenario will see you weeks away from your home…away from your daughter. She needs you, Hank. Did you know she has nightmares? Nightmares about you going away and never coming back?”

His face paled but his features remained taut and unyielding. “All kids have nightmares.”

“About monsters…about ghosts, but not about daddies who go away and never come back,” she exclaimed. “You’ve wrapped your grief around you so tightly
you’ve made not only yourself but your daughter a prisoner of it. I’m sure that’s not what Rebecca would have wanted for either of you.”

“Are you through?” he asked, his voice tightly controlled and cool.

No, she wasn’t through. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, tell him she loved him. She wanted to ask him to take a chance with her, to seek the magic that she knew they could find together if he’d just trust in it.

Instead she wrapped her arms around her aching ribs and nodded. “I’m through.”

He whirled on his heels and went out the door without saying another word. She stared after him for several moments, a wash of tears making the wooden door wave and dance.

The silence that followed echoed in every chamber of her heart. She reached inside for anger, needing it to staunch her tears. Damn him. Damn him for not understanding. Damn him for speaking things she didn’t want to hear, for confronting her with hard truths she hadn’t wanted to face.

But more than anything, damn him for making her fall in love with him. More tears cascaded down her cheeks and a sob welled up, begging to be released. She swallowed hard, refusing to cry for him.

She glanced at her watch and realized Mary Jane would be there with potential buyers in half an hour. Good, because Melody desperately needed a distraction from her thoughts. Even if the people who looked today didn’t buy, it was time for her to leave. All she had to do was decide if she wanted to return to her mother’s
house or get a motel room until she decided to go back to Chicago.

Mary Jane was on time and brought with her an older married couple whose children were grown. “We like the idea of no yard work or maintenance,” Sarah Hunter said as she held tight to her husband’s arm. She smiled up at him, her love obvious. “We’re at a place in our lives where we’d like to do a little traveling, but we need a home base.”

Sam Hunter patted his wife’s hand and returned her look of affection. “For the last thirty-five years, anyplace you are is home, darlin’,” he exclaimed.

As they disappeared down the hall to look at the bedrooms, Melody leaned against the kitchen counter and released a deep sigh. It was obvious Sarah and Sam Hunter were just as in love with each other today as they had probably been on the day they had married.

For thirty-five years the Hunters had shared their lives and Melody had scarcely gotten a day of loving Hank before all hell had broken loose.

I think it was never about Lainie’s needs. I think it’s always been about your needs.
Hank’s words whirled around and around in her head. She was grateful when Sam, Sarah and Mary Jane returned to the kitchen and took her away from her troubling thoughts.

“I’ll be in touch,” Mary Jane said as Melody led them to the front door.

Melody closed the door after them and leaned against it weakly. All she wanted to do was get into bed and pull the covers up over her head. She’d never felt so weary. The weariness of heartbreak, she thought.

Maybe a nap was just what she needed. Although her ribs were healing, she still wasn’t totally up to par. Besides, in sleep she wouldn’t think about the hurtful words she’d exchanged with Hank.

She went into the bedroom and took off her jeans, then, clad only in her underwear and T-shirt, she crawled beneath the sheets on the bed. She lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what had possessed her to get involved with Hank in the first place.

Throwing herself at him sexually had been out of character, seeking his comfort and company had been equally unlike her. She tried to tell herself her attraction to him had been driven by loneliness and grief, but she didn’t believe that.

Physically she’d been drawn to him by some mysterious force of hormones or whatever power had brought lovers together throughout history. Emotionally it had been his steady strength, his sense of humor and the gentleness she’d sensed inside him that had drawn her in.

It didn’t matter now. None of it mattered. All she wanted was the oblivion of sleep to take away the pain inside her.

She must have fallen asleep, for the ringing of the phone awakened her. Groggily she reached for the phone, at the same time checking the clock on the nightstand. It was after four. She must have been asleep for nearly two hours.

“Hello?”

“Ah, good. You’re finally home,” Fred said.

For a moment she didn’t know what he was talking about. Then she remembered that she’d told her mother
she was visiting an old high school friend out of town for the last couple of days.

“Yes, I got back in today.” She pulled herself up to a sitting position in an attempt to slough off the last of her sleep.

“Did you have a nice visit with your friend?” he asked.

“It was okay. Is anything wrong, Fred? Is my mother all right?”

“She’s fine. Why?”

“I think the last time you called me was when you told me Mom was about to go into surgery to have her gallbladder removed.”

Fred laughed. “Nothing like that with this phone call. I was just wondering if you’d have some time this evening to come over and help me with some plans for a surprise birthday party for your mother.”

“I’m really tired, Fred. Can we make it another time?” she asked. She had no desire to go out in the evening hours, especially now that she’d lost her bodyguard. The last time she’d left to go out into the night, she’d wound up being kicked half to death.

“What about tomorrow? Why don’t you come for brunch? I’ve been itching to make some of those apple crepes that you love.”

It had been Lainie who had loved Fred’s apple crepes, not Melody, but she didn’t have the heart to remind him. Surely it would be safe for her to leave the building in the light of day, she thought. “Brunch sounds perfect,” she agreed.

“Shall we say around ten?”

“Sounds great. I’ll be there,” she agreed.

After they hung up she tried to talk herself into getting out of bed, doing something constructive. She could get the phone book and hunt up Forest Burke’s number. She could call Zack and get an update. What she did instead was curl up on her side, hug her pillow to her chest and fall back asleep.

Because she went to bed so early she awakened the next morning before dawn. She lay in the quiet darkness of the room and found herself contemplating what Hank had said to her.

Was she desperate to continue her search for Lainie’s killer because she was afraid to let go? Afraid to face the emptiness of her life?

Had she used Lainie as an excuse not to make her own friends and explore new relationships? As much as she hated to admit it, she thought that might be true. She’d encouraged Lainie to lean on her, to need her because of her own needs. Melody was afraid of the dark, when night fell and monsters crept out of closets.

Hank’s words washed over her in wave after wave of recognition. It was time for her to finally let go. No matter who she spoke to, no matter what information she gathered, it wouldn’t bring Lainie back.

Hank had been right. It was time for her to go back to Chicago. She’d wait until next week after her mother’s birthday, then she’d get on a plane with only her memories of Lainie and Hank and Maddie to keep her company.

It was just after nine when she heard a tiny knock on her front door. Maddie. Her heart squeezed as she
thought of the child who had taken such a large chunk of her heart.

“I came to visit,” Maddie said as she swept past Melody and into the nearly empty living room. She sat crosslegged on the floor in front of the folding chair. “It was more fun to visit with you when you were at my house.”

“I couldn’t stay there forever,” Melody said as she sat in the chair.

“Why not?” Maddie looked at her with childish longing. “Why couldn’t you marry my daddy and stay forever?”

Could the pain get any deeper? Melody wondered. “Because I have to get back to my life in Chicago,” Melody replied, unsure how else to answer.

Maddie’s lower lip punched out in a pout. “I hate Chicago,” she exclaimed. At the moment Melody wasn’t thrilled with the idea of returning there either.

For the next few minutes the two talked about school and summer plans, then Melody stood up. “You’re going to have to leave, sweetie,” she said. “I’ve got to go have brunch with Fred.”

“Who’s Fred? Is he your new boyfriend?”

Melody smiled as she walked with Maddie to the door. “No, he’s the man who’s going to eventually marry my mother, and that will make him my stepfather.”

Maddie gazed at her with somber eyes. “So you’re going to get a new daddy. I wish my daddy would get me a new mommy.” She slipped her hand into Melody’s. “I would have liked you as my new mommy.”

Melody knelt in front of her. “I would have loved to be your new mommy,” she said. “But sometimes things
just don’t work out the way we want them to. Maybe someday your daddy will find a special woman to be your new mommy.” She leaned forward and embraced Maddie and wondered how many more ways her heart could break.

Hank was in a foul mood. The gray storm clouds gathering in the distance reflected the tumult of his thoughts. He stood at the window where he’d kept vigil the day before and sipped his coffee. After the fight with Melody he’d stormed home not fit for human company. He’d spent most of the rest of the day watching from the window that looked out on the parking lot to make sure that Melody didn’t take off to do anything crazy, but her car had remained parked.

The minute he’d rolled out of bed he’d returned to the window, relieved that her car was still in the same place. He’d told her he was through playing bodyguard to a woman who intentionally wanted to stir up a hornet’s nest. Unfortunately, he also couldn’t stand the idea of her going off half-cocked and getting hurt again.

He drained his coffee cup and headed toward the kitchen for a fresh cup. He set down his cup and leaned against the counter, rubbing eyes gritty from lack of sleep.

It was hard to sleep with a woman’s voice echoing in your head. And it was damned irritating when the words the woman was speaking held more than a grain of hard truth.

He filled his coffee cup and sat at the kitchen table where the morning paper was still wrapped in plastic in case rain fell. He was about to open it when he heard
the front door open and the sound of his daughter’s footsteps running toward the kitchen.

She needs you, Hank.
Melody’s words banged around in his brain, bringing with them a shard of pain that nearly doubled him over. She needed him and he’d let her down.

Maddie marched into the kitchen and straight to the refrigerator. “Hi, Daddy,” she said as she pulled out the gallon of milk.

“Before you pour yourself a glass of milk, I want you to come here.”

Maddie set the milk jug on the table and eyed him suspiciously. “Am I in trouble?”

He smiled, love for her burgeoning in his heart. “Should you be in trouble?”

“I don’t think so,” she said hesitantly. “But I stopped and saw Melody on my way from Grandma’s house.”

“Why don’t you come over here and see me. I can’t remember the last time I gave my best girl a kiss.” The eager expression on Maddie’s face as she ran to his open arms once again made his heart ache. He pulled her up on his lap, closed his eyes and relished the hug they shared.

“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered against his neck.

“And I love you, baby,” he replied, surprised by a sting of tears in his eyes. “And things are going to change around here.”

Maddie got down from his lap and looked at him curiously. “What’s going to change?”

He smiled at her, his heart suddenly lighter, brighter than it had been in years. “From now on
you’re going to be spending less time with Grandma and more time with me.”

“That’s good,” Maddie said happily. “And are we gonna live on a ranch? Couldn’t you be a cowboy again?”