Natural Born Daddy (22 page)

“I never wanted to live in Houston,” she admitted finally. “I love the ranch, always have.”

“But you moved here years ago, right after I did.”

“Exactly,” she said softly. “Right after you did.”

She saw the precise moment when the explanation registered.

“You moved here
because
of me?” he asked, clearly astonished. In fact he couldn't have looked any more shocked if she'd announced she wanted to take up stripping.

“Yep. Pretty crazy, huh? Half the time you didn't even notice I was around.” She had abandoned her father to struggle along alone for a man who hadn't even paid attention to her presence. The knowledge of that betrayal of her dad had eaten at her for years.

“But I always thought…” He shook his head, as if to clear it. “I guess I don't know what I thought.”

“You just took my presence for granted,” she said, unable to hide the note of resentment, even after all this time.

He nodded slowly. “I suppose I did.” He lifted his gaze and looked her squarely in the eyes. “I'm sorry. If I'd known—”

She stopped him with a touch of a finger to his lips. “If you'd known, you wouldn't have done anything differently. My heart was always on my sleeve, Jordan. You just didn't want to see it.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I was a fool, wasn't I?”

She nodded, not letting him off the hook easily. “I always thought so, but then, I was a bit biased in my own favor. Those women you were choosing over me were airheads.”

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the work-roughened knuckles. “Will it really make you happy for me to move the company headquarters?”

“West Texas is home, Jordan. It's where our family is, where our roots are.”

“More's the pity,” he said dryly.

She chuckled at his expression. “Stop worrying about Harlan. You've been standing up to him for a long time now and I haven't noticed either of you suffering too much as a result.”

“I suppose not,” he conceded. “Okay, sweet pea, we'll give it a try. I'll keep the Houston office space for meetings that can't be held elsewhere, but I'll look for space for a new headquarters when we're home this weekend. I'll have to see how the rest of the staff feels about relocating to determine how much space we need, but a lot of the people would probably prefer a small-town atmosphere for raising their families.”

Kelly regarded him with astonishment. He'd agreed. Just like that, and all because she'd worked up the courage to tell him straight out what was in her heart. Perhaps if she kept it up, they could work out the rest of those complicated details, starting with whether or not Jordan wanted to have more children.

Before she could tackle that subject, though, she met his gaze and caught the rising heat in his eyes. He wanted her, again, after all those times during the night. Her pulse skittered crazily and her self-esteem as a desirable woman soared.

“Do you have to go back to the office?” she asked.

He grinned. “You were reading my mind.”

He took care of the check with the speed of a man very anxious to make love to his new bride. He had them in the car and home before Kelly could gather her thoughts.

Much, much later, wrapped in his arms, she teased him about kidnapping her from the restaurant.

“Hey, you were the one who asked if I had to go back to the office,” he protested.

“How do you know I wasn't going to suggest a shopping excursion?”

The look he directed at her was almost comical. “You wanted to go shopping?”

“Maybe.”

“You did not.” He slid his hand between her legs. “Would you rather buy a dress than do this?”

She grinned. “Maybe.”

His touch intensified. “Really?” he taunted. “I don't believe you.”

“I haven't shopped for a fancy designer dress in quite some time. It would take a lot to compete with trying on all those fancy, sexy clothes,” she managed to gasp. His mouth closed over her breast. “Of course, this is nice,” she murmured.

“Nice? Nice!” His voice climbed indignantly.

“Very nice.”

He lifted himself above her and entered her with exquisite slowness, the slow slide a sweet torment. The retreat left an agony of yearning. “How nice?” he demanded.

“Incredibly, wickedly nice,” she declared.

And then, for quite some time, she couldn't speak at all.

T
he next few days in Houston turned into a honeymoon, after all. It was a time of revelation for Jordan. His bride turned out to be a woman of limitless and astonishingly inventive passion. She held nothing back.

Except, perhaps, for love, he realized despondently as he sat alone in the dark sipping a cup of coffee just before dawn on Saturday morning. They had driven back to the ranch via Luke and Jessie's the night before, arriving late. Kelly and Dani were both still sleeping upstairs. He'd been too restless to sleep, troubled by something he couldn't quite pin down or put a name to.

The past few days should have left him feeling ecstatic. He should have been filled with contentment, delighted with the way his decision to marry Kelly had turned out. Instead he had the uneasy feeling that he'd lost more than he'd gained.

For a woman who had stunned him with her claim just a few days before that she had loved him forever, Kelly had suddenly turned surprisingly silent on the
subject of her own emotions. He certainly couldn't complain about their lovemaking. She was stunningly sensual in bed, as generous with her body as she had once been with her compassion and her affection. He told himself that should be more than enough, that the words didn't matter, but deep inside he recognized something she had known all along—they did matter.

He couldn't help wondering—and worrying just a little—about her reticence. Something crucial seemed to be missing from their relationship. There was some part of her that she wasn't sharing, that she was holding back as if she feared he might trample on something she held dear.

What more could he do, though? He thought he had made it clear to her that he believed in them, believed in their marriage. He had even agreed to look for a new headquarters for his company, one closer to home, just because she had told him how important that was to her. Surely that gesture should have reassured her that his intentions toward their future were serious.

Dammit, he should have been on top of the world. He had gotten exactly what he wanted. He had a family now, a defensive barrier against another stupid mistake with the wrong woman. He had been granted the unexpected gift of a warm, passionate wife. He even had a precious little girl, whom he couldn't have loved more if she'd been his own.

What was happening to him? Why did it suddenly seem to matter so much whether Kelly cared half as deeply for him as he was beginning to suspect he did for her? They were married, committed to vows they both held sacred. Still, he wanted more, some
indefinable thing he didn't know how to describe, much less fight for.

He had seen it, though. He had seen it between his parents, a glow that came over them whenever they were in the same room. He had felt it every time he'd been with Luke, Jessie, and little Angela. He had seen the radiance on Jessie's face whenever she glanced at Luke. He had caught the unmistakable pride and adoration on his brother's face each time Luke glimpsed Jessie or the baby. As with his parents, the air around Luke and Jessie hummed with the electricity of their love. No one lucky enough to be in their presence could ever doubt the depth of their feelings for one another.
That
was what he wanted.

There were times like now when Jordan wondered if he'd truly gotten married or, as Kelly had often accused, merely made a bargain. The irony, of course, was that a few weeks ago he hadn't known the difference, no matter how often Kelly had tried pointing it out to him. Apparently he should have listened to her more closely. Maybe then he would have grasped the distinction, maybe then he wouldn't have set himself up for this unfamiliar emptiness deep inside him.

Now he wondered if it was too late to change the ground rules. He thought of all the unexpected things Kelly had brought into their marriage, along with being a woman he knew he could trust with his life. He thought of what the future might be like without her in it and realized that losing her was a risk he could never take. Just as Cody had blown it with Melissa Horton, he had taken Kelly for granted. As much as he disliked what that said about him as a
man, he knew it was true. He also knew he would never do that again.

Sitting there as the sun rose and brightened the kitchen, he examined the dilemma with the same methodical logic he would apply to a business problem. He considered every angle, weighed every option. When the solution finally came to him, he was astounded he hadn't recognized it sooner.

The answer was a baby, a link that would bind them together more snugly than the vows they'd taken.

A baby! The very thought filled him with unexpected anticipation. The role of daddy had turned out to be one for which he was surprisingly well suited, after all. A little brother for Dani, maybe a little sister, too. The perfect family.

Contentment stole through him as he contemplated the image. Pleased with himself, he charted a course. Now all that remained was to get Kelly thinking along the same lines.

Surely, it would be easy. She adored Dani. From the day of Dani's birth, Kelly had thrived on motherhood. In fact, Paul's disinterest in being a parent had been the primary cause of trouble between them, along with his philandering, of course. Jordan predicted she would be thrilled with his thinking, as ready to embark on this new, shared commitment as he was.

Of course, he warned himself, as he began preparing a breakfast feast to get her in the proper mood, Kelly hadn't exactly been predictable lately.

No matter, he told himself blithely. When he set his mind to something, he could be very persuasive. He'd gotten her to marry him, hadn't he? By
comparison, this battle ought to be little more than a skirmish, an easy victory.

* * *

“You want to have a baby?” Kelly asked.

She knew she was staring at Jordan as if he'd announced a desire to bring an elephant into their lives, but she couldn't help it. If he had made such an announcement, suggesting the adoption of a huge gray beast, she couldn't have been any more astounded.

She abandoned the special waffles he'd prepared, obviously to set the tone for this conversation, and pushed aside her plate. She laid her fork carefully back on the table, buying time, hoping to figure out what the devil was going on with her husband this morning.

“Why?” she demanded eventually. The question wasn't all that complex, but it certainly cut to the heart of the matter.

Jordan seemed dumbfounded that she'd asked. She could see by the darkening of his eyes that it wasn't the reaction he'd been hoping for. At this precise moment, however, she was more interested in a little honesty and straight talk than she was in catering to some whim of his. The man hadn't once mentioned children except in the most passing way. In fact, she had worried about his silence on that very topic. Now he expected to snap his fingers and produce a child in nine months.

Rather than being eager to agree, she found herself filled with caution.

“Why?” she repeated more emphatically, since he seemed to be ignoring the original question.

Patches of color darkened his cheeks. “Isn't that what couples do?” he said defensively. “You always said you wanted a houseful of kids. Have you changed your mind?”

The last of her foolish eagerness fled at his tone. Kelly shook her head. “No. I love children,” she said dully.

“Well, then, that settles it.”

The man clearly didn't have a clue about the fine art of holding a conversation, much less a discussion. He was much better at issuing edicts. “Do you really think it's that simple?” she asked.

“I think it can be, if we're both agreed.”

Exasperated, she waved aside the too quick answer. “Are we both agreed? What do you want?”

“A baby,” he repeated, clearly bemused by what he apparently considered her pigheadedness.

“Why?” she persisted, trying one more time to get to the real reason for this sudden interest in procreation.

Heaven knew, she would give anything to have Jordan's baby, but not without exploring the subject in a little more depth. She'd been too eager once before and discovered too late that Paul had gone along with her only to get her off his back. That might not be the case with Jordan, but perhaps he was only anticipating her desires and trying to settle the matter before it became an issue between them. After all, he'd witnessed firsthand the way the same topic had affected her marriage to Paul.

In so doing, though, he was the one to make it an issue. She studied him intently and waited for his answer.

“The usual reasons,” he grumbled.

“And what would those be?” she inquired stubbornly, drawing a ferocious scowl.

“Dammit, do you or do you not want to have a baby?” he snapped.

I want you to love me,
she cried to herself.
I want a baby that is a product of our love.
“I do,” she said finally, “but not until we're sure we're ready.”

“I'm sure.”

“You keep saying that, but you haven't said why.”

“Isn't that obvious?”

“Not to me.”

He glowered at her irritably and stood. “I'm going for a walk.”

Kelly nodded curtly. “You do that. And while you're gone, perhaps you'll come up with an explanation for this sudden decision of yours.”

Judging from the way he slammed the door behind him on his way out, she had a feeling he was going to be too busy cooling off to think clearly about much of anything.