Narcissist Seeks Narcissist (2 page)

“You just don’t get the comedy in the ad because Szuszu’s British and they have a different sense of humor than we do.” Naomi was trying to convince herself as much as Erin. “And see? Look, she’s wearing a zebra striped jacket. Nobody wears animal prints anymore, except to poke fun at themselves.”

Erin looked Naomi up and down, knitting her brow. “You’re wearing leopard spot leggings.”

“Exactly.” Naomi shrugged. “Because I don’t take myself too seriously.” She turned her gaze back to Szuszu, watching the former model chatting with a handsome man all in black. “You know, it was Szuszu who basically forced me out of the closet. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know when I would have come out.”

“Seriously?” Erin peered through the window again. “Why? Is she some kind of lesbian advocacy guru or whatever?”

Naomi chuckled at the thought. “I don’t think so. I didn’t even know she was into women until I saw her personal ad under ‘female seeking female.’”

“So then how did she make you come out?”

Sensing a flush in her cheeks, Naomi admitted, “My dad caught me stashing his magazine in my backpack. I think he was even more embarrassed than I was, but I’m glad it went down that way. I didn’t have to hide that I was attracted to other girls. He knew, so I could talk to him.”

“And he didn’t spend all your high school years asking, ‘Don’t you have a boyfriend yet?’”

Naomi chuckled. “Exactly.”

They stood in silence as Naomi crammed the magazine back inside her purse. She took a deep breath, but she was still nervous as hell.

“Aren’t you going in?” Erin asked.

She gave herself another glance in the darkened window. Erin was right -- if Szuszu really was expecting a girl who looked just like a supermodel, tonight would not end well.

“Want me to come in with you?” Erin placed an arm gently around Naomi’s shoulder and offered a gentle squeeze.

“No,” Naomi replied, buttoning up her black velvet jacket. “I’ll be fine, thanks.” Plastering on a smile, she walked toward the lounge entrance. “Wish me luck!”

Chapter 3

“
I
know how you despise contradiction, Szuszu, baby, but that girl looks nothing at all like you!”

Szuszu glared at the man, urging her eyes to shoot laser beams at him and singe his pride-and-joy hair. “Kenzo, darling, you know I only frequent establishments where the customer is always right. Particularly if that customer happens to be me.”

The gorgeous girl raised a hand above her head and waved in Szuszu’s direction. Granted, her outlines were a little fuzzy, but everything was a blur when Szuszu had been drinking… and it was a rare event when Szuszu had not been drinking.

Szuszu glowered, but the girl threw her head back and let out a hearty laugh. After a moment looking back and forth between her and Kenzo, Szuszu joined in too. “Yes, yes, Kenzo. Very amusing. Now won’t you be on your way and fetch two scotch and sodas?”

“Oh, not for me,” the girl said. She was still standing rather far away. “I’d like a…hmm…something fruity? Not too much alcohol.”

This time it was Szuszu who laughed, with both the manager and her date looking at her like she had three heads. “What?” she asked. “You can never have too much alcohol, darling.”

Kenzo nodded before taking a step back. “I’ll bring you a mango Bellini, and two scotch and sodas for my Szuszu baby.”

This corner of the lounge seemed rather darker than the rest of the place. Szuszu squinted, but could only really make out the huge smile on her date’s face. “You are so like me, darling -- all teeth. Back in the day, photographers commented on my teeth, you know. We had our own back then, the teeth God gave us. Everything’s different today. It’s all false you know, darling.”

“Wow,” the girl said, still standing what seemed to be halfway across the room. “It’s so great to meet you. You have no idea how exciting this is for me. I’ve worshipped you since I was, like, twelve years old.”

“Yes,” Szuszu went on, watching for Kenzo to appear with her drinks. “They were always asking for more T ‘n A during my photo shoots. You know what T ‘n A stands for, of course, darling -- teeth in action. I would smile until my gums bled from exposure. It was agony, darling, simply agony!”

The girl clapped her hands together, laughing hysterically. When she doubled over in hysterics, Szuszu caught a glimpse of her cleavage jiggling beyond the fold of her jacket. She had to applaud their size: “Nice tits. Bigger than mine, I’d say. When you’ve lugged me home after closing time, we’ll have to take all our clothes off and compare.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have been nervous about meeting you,” the girl replied, still in fits of giggles and struggling for breath. “Oh my God, you are so fricken funny!”

It wasn’t until the girl shuffled onto the bench next to Szuszu that she realized she’d neglected to offer the little darling a seat. When she felt the warmth of a foreign body against her leg, this silly experimentation with the dating world seemed all too real. Babs had set it all up so she wouldn’t feel lonely while her dearest friend and the dairy cow were off on holiday, but sitting so near to a perfect stranger only reminded Szuszu that Babette was gone, at least for now.

“Where is that bloody man with our drinks?” she asked. “Does a woman have to be dying of thirst before she’s served in this establishment?”

The girl turned away, still chuckling faintly, and then pointed. “Here he comes, Szuszu.” She turned back, a blur of white skin and dark hair -- possibly the color Szuszu’s would be if she didn’t bleach it within an inch of its life. “Can I call you Szuszu? I know we just met. Is that okay, or is it too familiar?”

“Too familiar?” Szuszu asked as the lounge manager set their drinks down on the table. “Darling, I’ll show you
too familiar
.” Szuszu wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulder and pulled her in for a wet kiss, missed her mouth on the first clumsy attempt, but struck heat on the second. The girl seemed startled at first, not surprisingly, but she melted fast, then answered back with a writhing tongue.

When Szuszu felt a hand on her thigh, she gasped. How long had it been? Truly? When was the last time she’d even thought about grand romance, or even physical love? Or lust? Well, lust had taken her firmly in its grip now. Lust had her throbbing between the thighs, her heart pumping fast, her lungs desperate for air. She would have kissed this girl forever if Kenzo hadn’t slid his hands between their foreheads and pried them apart.

“Please, ladies,” he said as Szuszu gasped, pressing a hand to her hammering chest. “Patrons don’t frequent my lounge to see pretty young girls making out with archeological remains.”

“Of course not, darling.” Szuszu guzzled her scotch between breaths. “It’s your brilliant wit that brings us back night after night, isn’t it?”

When he’d winked and walked away, Szuszu realized the girl beside her was breathing hard, that cumbersome chest rising and falling, exuding pheromones and sheer heat. Szuszu could have sworn she smelled the thick tang of the girl’s pussy on the air. Her mouth watered as she imagined tearing the clothes off a woman who was in every sense her twin, planting her face between perfect thighs, and eating her savory cunt. It had been such a very long time since these thoughts had crossed her mind -- so long they nearly frightened her.

Wrapping her hand around the only scotch glass that still contained any scotch, Szuszu watched the blur of a girl sipping a Bellini. “I haven’t asked you your name, darling, have I?”

The girl set her drink down on the table. “No, but that’s okay.”

“Well,” Szuszu asked, “what is it, then?”

Though her teeth still glowed white, her cheeks seemed to flush at the question. Or maybe it was a delayed reaction to their kiss. “Naomi,” she said. “I’m Naomi.”

Chapter 4

B
y the time she’d half-carried, half-dragged Szuszu out to a taxi, Naomi still hadn’t figured out whether or not Erin had been right. Was Szuszu really just a washed-up old scrap of model material? Or was she actually the funny, quirky, strangely charming woman Naomi wanted her to be? It was hard to say. That kiss had colored every word that followed, as had the three Bellinis she’d downed over the course of the evening. All Naomi wanted was more.

“Where to?” the taxi driver asked as he helped Naomi with Szuszu’s seatbelt. The man looked a little like Sammy Davis Jr., and for some reason that made Naomi feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“Uhh…I don’t know,” she said. “Szuszu, where do you live?”

Like a jungle cat, Szuszu pounced, grabbed Naomi by the lapels and pulled her down into the car. “Darling, you’re not coming home with me?” For a scrawny little thing, this woman was strong with a capital S. “Oh, you must, darling! You simply must!”

How could Naomi say no to such a pathetic plea for company? She crawled into the seat beside Szuszuseatcs and let the slender woman rest a bony cheek on her breast. It was nice to feel needed, to feel useful. As she watched the lights from outside pass across Szuszu’s passed-out face, she couldn’t help smiling. Maybe humor was this woman’s fortress; maybe she needed the help Naomi was always so desperate to give.

In the time they’d spent together that evening, Szuszu had talked about nothing but herself. Erin would have called her a narcissist for sure. Was that necessarily the case? Maybe she just didn’t have many friends. Maybe she’d become socially isolated since her days of fame and glory. Erin would have said Naomi was just making excuses because she was so enamored of Szuszu, but even if she was, who’s to say those reasons weren’t true?

The cab fare was rather a lot, but Naomi paid it because Szuszu was, apparently, one of those women so rich she didn’t need to carry money. Szuszu didn’t seem to have keys on her, either, so it was lucky the doorman on duty had a set and could unlock the elevator access to her penthouse flat.

When the doors opened, Naomi gasped at the view. Szuszu was draped across her back like Superman’s cape, and she dragged the zonked scarecrow across the room to get a better look at the skyline beyond floor-to-ceiling windows. As she turned in a circle to take in the rest of the apartment, Szuszu’s snakeskin boots dragged along the floor behind her. This place had everything you’d expect to see back in those 1980’s episodes of
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
: black velvet chaise, white baby grand, sunken living room and raised Jacuzzi. She hadn’t seen a light switch yet, but the city illuminated the space well enough to take in its rampant luxury.

“Your home is beautiful,” Naomi whispered to the thin face hooked over her shoulder. “You’re so lucky to live like this. I’m going on six years in a basement apartment underneath an animal hospital.”

Szuszu grunted. “Wretched beasts.” The woman smelled so strongly of alcohol Naomi was sure she was getting drunk off the fumes.

“I love animals,” Naomi said, dragging Szuszu to the chaise and draping her emaciated body across it. “I work there, just doing reception and stuff. They give me a break on the rent. It’s pretty cool.”

After pulling an ottoman up next to the chaise, Naomi sat quietly for rather a long time, simply watching the model at rest. Szuszu’s mouth hung open and a thin crystalline stream dribbled from her heavily-collagenated lower lip down to the velvet upholstery. It was a little like watching a unicorn take a piss, something Naomi felt blessed but also a little uncomfortable to witness.

Naomi plucked the weathered magazine from her purse and opened it again to Szuszu’s spread. In truth, Szuszu didn’t look much different now than she had back when these photos were taken. She’d obviously had some work done, unless she’d aged ridiculously well or washed her face in sheep placenta every day or something. Her face was beautiful, truly. In a sense, Naomi felt envious, but in a larger sense she felt awed. How had she managed to weasel her way into a model’s penthouse? And a model she’d imagined making love with for years. This whole evening was unreal.

What was the cover girl like under the covers? She watched Szuszu smack her lips in her sleep and then wipe them with the sleeve of her zebra stripe jacket. Was it pervy to want to undress a woman in slumber? Well, of course it was pervy! What kind of a stupid question was that? Still, Naomi wanted to do it. She wanted to undress Szuszu and see if everything under that outfit looked as it did in the pictures. Naomi smiled at her reflection in the darkened windows, then rolled up her magazine like a newspaper and smacked herself on the wrist.

“Whaaa?” Szuszu’s torso leapt up from the chaise in response to the noise. She looked like she’d been defibrillated, with her head and her feet still flush to the black velvet. “What was that?”

Should Naomi confess her perviness? Well, sure! Why the hell not? She pulled the ottoman in closer to the chaise unrolled the old magazine, and held it up for Szuszu to see. “I’ve taken you to bed more than you’ll ever know.”

Szuszu looked up at her, squinting and confused. “When was this? Did you drug me, darling? Where the hell am I?”

With a chuckle, Naomi said, “We’re at your place, silly.” Szuszu was such a joker! “Here, this is what I’ve taken to bed with me half my life. It’s you… pictures of you.”

Szuszu took hold of the magazine and held it up close, then very far away, and then peered at it through the base of an empty glass from the side table. “Well, would you look at that! Those are my tits, darling!”

Naomi laughed. “I know…” She swallowed hard, watching Szuszu’s face grow distant, forlorn, as she set the magazine down on the floor. “I never thought I’d get a chance like this. I’ve seen you naked hundreds of times, but never in the flesh. You’re real… and you’re here… and… I want you. Is that okay?” She could hardly breathe.