Authors: Aunt Dimity [14] Aunt Dimity Slays the Dragon
“Since the matter is still under investigation, I’d rather not say.”
Lord Belvedere raised an iron-gray eyebrow. “Have I appeased your
curiosity, madam?”
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163
“You have,” I said. “And you’ve done so most graciously.” I turned
to look at the encampment. “I’ve never seen anything like this before. Jinks told me—”
“You know Jinks?” said Lord Belvedere.
“I’ve chatted with him a few times,” I said. “His camper-van is
parked in the pasture next to my back garden.”
“Yes, of course.” Lord Belvedere nodded, as if my words had
tweaked his memory. “He needed space in which to practice his
tumbling.”
“He certainly does,” I said, venturing a smile. “There’s not
enough room here to swing a gerbil. I don’t think I’d be able to find
my own tent in such a mishmash.”
“It’s not a mishmash,” said Lord Belvedere. “It’s a highly stratified community.” He finally lifted his hand from his sword and gestured for me to walk with him. “Come with me and I’ll show you.”
Together we retraced my steps to the top of the rise, then turned
to look out over the encampment. Slowly and carefully, Lord Belvedere helped me to see patterns in the seeming chaos.
The tents were, in fact, arranged in carefully delineated clusters defi ned by the roles people played in the fair. Within the general encampment, there was the weekenders’ camp, the Rennies’
camp, the actors’ camp, the vendors’ camp, the jousters’ camp, and
a mixed area known simply as “the other camp.” The RV area was
called “electric row” because the larger RVs had their own generators.
Hygiene was evidently not a prime concern in the encampment,
because the nearest laundromat was ten miles away, in the small
market town of Upper Deeping, and the bathroom facilities were
limited to four portable showers and two dozen chemical toilets.
Lord Belvedere assured me that most of the resident cast members
brought their own washing facilities with them, but the thought of
spending an entire summer—or even an entire weekend—washing
my hair under a perforated plastic bag filled with cold water made
my scalp crawl.
164 Nancy Atherton
“I imagine you must have a few handymen on staff for emergency
repairs,” I said. “Where do they stay?”
“In the tradesmen’s camp,” he said, pointing to a small cluster
of modest tents to the left of a large multicolored pavilion.
I fastened my gaze on the tradesmen’s camp and tried to visualize the most direct route to it.
“I’m afraid I must leave you,” said Lord Belvedere. “Closing ceremonies are upon us.”
“Already?” I said, and I wasn’t feigning disappointment. I’d come
too close to turn back. “Would it be all right if I looked around the
encampment? I promise not to bother anyone.”
“You mustn’t touch anything, either,” he cautioned. “You might
injure yourself, and our insurance costs are high enough already.”
“I won’t touch a thing,” I promised. “May I look around? Please?”
Lord Belvedere stroked his beard reflectively and for the first
time allowed his hawklike gaze to slide downward from my face.
“Of course, my dear. You are a neighbor, after all. And a very pretty
one at that.” He bowed gracefully. “Until we meet again.”
“Until then,” I responded, and as I headed into the encampment, I silently blessed Sally Pyne and her uplifting needlework.
Seventeen
T he downside of wearing a fitted bodice became apparent
when I took a wrong turn and stumbled into the jousters’
camp. If the wind had been blowing in the other direction, I would have been forewarned by the unmistakable manly
stink, but with the wind at my back, I didn’t notice it until it was
too late.
Up to that point, my journey through the encampment had been
an eye-opening experience for entirely different reasons. In many
ways, the encampment was like any other campground. The spaces
between the tents were littered with usual jumble of barbecue
grills, lawn chairs, insulated coolers, picnic tables, washtubs, cricket
bats, soccer balls, laundry lines, and overflowing trash bins.
In many more ways, however, the encampment was unlike any
place I’d ever been. Pennons emblazoned with heraldic devices fluttered from the roof poles of nearly every tent, as if each were a separate country, and the laundry lines
were hung with doublets,
pantaloons, and muffin caps rather than T-shirts, hiking shorts, and
bathing suits.
Some campers had rigged up complicated cast-iron spits over
open fires. Others had casks of ale cooling in the shade of small leantos. I walked past pyramids of juggling balls, stacks of fire-eaters’ batons, scores of antique musical instruments, and enough lethal-looking
weaponry to start a second Hundred Years’ War. I didn’t see any
naked bottoms, but I figured they’d show up later, after work had
ended and playtime had begun.
I was so engrossed in the details of my surroundings that I
didn’t know I’d entered the jousters’ camp until I looked up to see
five grubby foot soldiers lounging in lawn chairs around a bonfire
166 Nancy Atherton
pit, with their backs to the entrance of a huge multicolored pavilion fl ying the black dragon standard.
It took me less than a nanosecond to conclude that the soldiers
gathered there would never be interested in my mind. As I backed
away from their much-too-admiring gazes, the bulkiest soldier,
who looked as though he hadn’t bathed or combed his hair since the
Battle of Hastings, called over his shoulder, “Jack! The eve ning’s
entertainment has arrived early! She must be eager to get started.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, planted my hands on my hips, and
said frostily, “I beg your pardon?”
“Oh-ho!” said the bulky soldier, nudging the man next to him.
“A feisty one. Jack’ll like her.”
The rest of the men emitted grunts of agreement accompanied
by a low rumble of lascivious laughter. I was calculating how long it
would take me to slap the goatish grins off of their faces when Sir
Jacques de Poitiers emerged from the pavilion, adjusting his dragon-embossed black leather jerkin. His eyes met mine and a small,
puzzled smile played about his lips. He made a flicking motion with
his hand and the grinning, grunting soldiers dispersed.
“You must forgive my comrades.” He crossed to stand a few feet
away from me, as if he feared that I might make a run for it if he
came any nearer. His voice was deep, slightly hoarse, and very attractive, and his
coal-black eyes
were fringed with long, dark
lashes. “They’re barbarians. They know no better.”
“I’ll teach them,” I offered, clenching both hands.
“I’m afraid your lessons would fall on deaf ears, and your fists
on rather thick skulls,” he said with a winsome grimace. “Please
allow me to apologize on their behalf. They will not trouble you
again.”
“Apology accepted,” I said shortly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me—”
“One moment more, I beg of you,” he said. “I don’t believe
we’ve been introduced.” He pointed his toe and sank into a low
bow. “Sir Jacques de Poitiers, at your service.”
“Madame de Bergere,” I said, curtsying politely. I hadn’t planned
Aunt Dimity Slays the Dragon
167
to acquire a Rennie name, but I was glad that a suitable one had
popped into my head. “
Bergere
” was the French word for shepherdess,
which was as close as I would allow the Dragon Knight—or any of
his comrades—to come to my real last name. “Pleased to meet
you. Now I really must—”
“Why have we not met before, Mistress?” Sir Jacques interrupted.
I shrugged. “Just lucky, I guess.”
“Come, now,” the knight chided gently. “You mustn’t be cross
with me because of my men’s unchivalrous behavior. Unlike them,
I know how to treat a lady.”
He took a step forward and exhaled a cloud of ale fumes potent
enough to pickle granite. I coughed, glanced at the symbol embossed on his leather jerkin, and suddenly understood the meaning
of the term “dragon breath.”
“Mistress,” he continued, “you appear to be distressed. Have
you perchance lost your way? You have only to command me and I
will escort you safely to your destination.”
The clock that had been ticking in the back of my brain ever
since the town crier had announced the time grew noticeably
louder. It struck me that it would be worth spending a few minutes
in Randy Jack’s company if he could help me to find Edmond’s tent
before nightfall. I gazed into his dark eyes and began to invent a
cover story to go along with my new name.
“I don’t need an escort,” I told him, “but I could use a good set
of directions. The problem is, a customer broke a shelf in my stall.
I’d like Edmond Deland to fix it, so I’m trying to find his tent.”
Sir Jacques frowned. “Eddie won’t return to his quarters until
long after closing ceremonies. He never does, and though I’m sorry
to say it, all work and no play has made him a very dull boy indeed.”
“That’s odd,” I said, trying to sound both troubled and perplexed. “He told me to meet him there right about now.”
“Did he?” The knight’s puzzled frown slowly morphed into a
168 Nancy Atherton
knowing grin. “Steady Eddie is skiving off work early in order to
meet you in his tent, is he? It’ll be a tight fit in that sad little cot of
his, but well worth the effort—for him, at least. Having seen you,
I can sympathize fully with his sense of urgency, though I confess
that I never expected him to act on his . . .
urges
.”
Sir Jacques’ insinuations were as alarming as they were unsubtle. I attempted to set him straight.
“I think there’s been a slight misunderstanding,” I began. “Edmond Deland and I aren’t—”
“You can have no secrets from me, Mistress,” said the knight,
waving me to silence. “Your bewitching blushes admit the truth,
even if your shapely lips will not. I’m pleased to hear that Eddie has
moved on, though I daresay some in camp will be disappointed to
learn that he isn’t as lily-white as he seems.” He took another step
toward me. “I hope, for his sake, that you aren’t, either.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said impatiently. “I’m old enough to be
his—”
“What has age to do with passion?” Sir Jacques interrupted. “If
youth fails to quench your thirst, however, I hope you’ll remember
that an older, more experienced man—a
real
man—is ready and
willing to fulfill your wildest fantasies. Come, my petal, don’t be
shy. Taste the delights that await you.”
Before I could react to his preposterous speech, he lunged forward, caught me by the waist, slammed me into his body, and clamped
his mouth over mine. I couldn’t tell whether it was a good kiss or not
because I was too busy trying not to vomit. Randy Jack had clearly
never heard of toothpaste, let alone mouthwash, and he was in dire
need of both.
I jerked my head away from his and pushed with all my might
against his chest, but his workouts in the arena had given him the
strength of a gorilla. His arms tightened around me like steel bands.
“She has spirit,” he breathed. “She has fire.”
I choked on ale fumes and raised my knee until it touched the
hem of his jerkin.
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169
“If you want to sit straight in the saddle again,” I said, gasping,
“you’ll unhand me
this instant
!”
Sir Jacques lowered his gaze, took stock of his position, and released me. I backed away from him, trembling with rage.
“Don’t
ever
come near me again,” I snarled. “And for God’s sake,
buy a toothbrush
!”
I spat disgustedly into the bonfire pit, turned on my heel, and
took off. I kept walking until I’d put a couple of yurts between me
and the Dragon Knight, then ducked into the space between two
empty pup tents and stood there, spitting repeatedly and shuddering
with revulsion.
While I waited for my blood pressure to drop, it gradually
dawned on me that I’d acquired two extremely useful facts during
my unexpected encounter with Randy Jack. For one thing, I’d
learned that Edmond wouldn’t return to his tent for some time
yet, and for another, I’d remembered that the tradesmen’s camp
was a hundred yards to the left of the multicolored black dragon
pavilion.
Heartened, I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my chemise
and set out for the tradesmen’s camp. I found it without further
delay and, bearing Mistress Farseeing’s description in mind, went
from tent to tent until I found the tidiest one. Apart from a metallic-blue motorbike parked next to it and a huge plastic water jug perched
on a small wooden stool near the tent’s entrance, the space around
it was completely clear and clutter-free. I wasn’t certain that I’d
reached my goal, however, until I spotted a monogram on the
leather tool kit attached to the motorbike’s handlebars.
“ED,” I whispered, tracing the letters with a fingertip. “Edmond Deland. Eureka, I’ve found it!”
Edmond’s tent wasn’t quite as small as the average peasant’s pocket,
but it wasn’t the Taj Mahal, either. With its ropes, stakes, and