Mythe: A Fairy Tale (70 page)

“If she recovered so quickly, why would she let me think she was dead?” Richard asked in a barely audible whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t she tell me?”

Sensing the plea in the questions, Kastl reassured Richard. “She wanted to tell you. She’s literally made herself sick about deceiving everyone, you most of all. But I wouldn’t let her. I told you I would protect her, whatever it took. If that meant putting you through hell Richard—if that meant putting everyone else through hell—I was willing to do it. I’m sorry. It was the only way I knew to keep her safe. She’d seen Tina and could identify her, and even without that, Chelsea wanted more than anything to see her dead. If those two had known she was alive they wouldn’t have stopped until they succeeded in killing her. Plus, Manda needed to be out of the picture so that Chelsea would approach you. The only way I could ever really keep Manda safe was to eliminate Chelsea and Tina for good. And the only way to eliminate them was to flush them out. Sorry, Richard, but you were the only bait I had.”

Richard eye’s burned with suppressed emotion. “Do you understand what I’ve been through? Do you know what it felt like thinking I’d lost her? That it was
my fault
?” Richard’s voice was bleak. “Explain to me why that was necessary? Why you felt it necessary to torture
me
like that?”

Kastl shook his head. “I do understand how you’ve felt—better than you know—but come on! Think about the last months. Think about how you felt. How you reacted. Could you have anticipated the strength of that reaction? Could you have faked that? You’re not that good an actor. You never would have fooled Chelsea and it would eventually have cost Manda her life. Would you have been willing to take that risk? I wasn’t.”

Richard swallowed the angry retort that was on his tongue and considered this. “No. You’re right. You did the right thing,” he finally conceded. “I’m sorry. But where is she, Kastl? I need to see her.” The prospect made his heart pound.

“She’s not far. But I need to ask you a question first. I know how much you love the freedom of being a shapeshifter. You need it like you need air. So what would happen if Manda wouldn’t change for you? She loves you and wants to be with you,” Kastl added hastily, seeing the doubt darken Richards face, “but what if she will always just be human? What would you do?”

“Is that what this is about?” Richard asked with a sad smile. “She loves me but she really
doesn’t
want to be one of us?” If that was what she wanted Richard didn’t care. He loved her as she was. She would never have to change for him. He wasn’t expecting Kastl’s answer.

“No, what I’m saying is that she loves you and I’m certain she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, but she may not
be able
to be like us.”

Richard pushed his hands back through his hair and leaned against the tire again. The unexpected kept knocking him off balance and just when he thought we was starting to regain his equilibrium, Kastl would send him reeling again.

“What does that mean?” he asked slowly. He wanted to see Manda so badly it was like a fever burning through his veins, but he knew Kastl wouldn’t be pushed. There would be no forcing anything from him that he wasn’t ready to give.

“One of the possible side effects of the therianthropic treatment is that not only is the recipient
not
transformed into a shapeshifter, but they
cannot ever
be changed. The treatment acts like an inoculant against the factor. On a cellular level her body behaves as a therianthrope, but without the ability to shift. Do you see what I mean? It’s like she’s already been changed, though without any of the outward manifestations, so she can’t be changed
again
. That’s the theory anyway. I’ve tested her blood and it’s not affected by mine at all. It’s never been fully tested in the long term though. There is the possibility that the effect might only be temporary, but that’s a slim chance. So, what would you do if she can’t be changed?”

Richard met Kastl’s questioning gaze and held it. “I would do exactly what I was planning on doing when I thought she was gone. I would grow old and eventually die. If I can do that with her by my side I won’t regret anything.” Seeing a flicker of doubt cross Kastl’s face he continued. “Kastl, until this morning at the airport with Chelsea, I hadn’t transformed fully since the day Manda was attacked. And I wasn’t planning on ever doing it again. So, get to the point. Why are you asking me this?”

Kastl considered Richard for a long moment and then answered truthfully. “Because if you weren’t willing to make that sacrifice, if you were just going to leave her when you found out, I wasn’t going to let you see her. She’d be better off never seeing you at all than watching you leave her all over again.”

“All over again?” Richard was confused. He hadn’t left her. He had always loved her. She’d
known
he was alive. Surely she’d been anticipating the end of the whole nightmare, when they could be together again. She’d at least had that one consolation that he had not.

Seeing Richard’s lack of comprehension, Kastl sighed. “She’s been reading your press, Richard. Yours
and Chelsea’s
.  And she’s believed it all.
And
she was at your concert tonight. I don’t know who you were showering with roses, but she thinks it was Chelsea.”

“What?” Richard snarled in outrage. “Chelsea and me? Why didn’t you tell her the truth? How could you let her think that?”

“Would you rather I told her that you were sharing your every waking moment with a psychotic killer?” Kastl snapped back. “Oh, she
really
would have felt better then! She
never
would have slept.”

“And the reason you haven’t told her now that Chelsea is gone?” Richard demanded.

“Well, that goes back to my question before, doesn’t it? If you weren’t going to stay with her I wouldn’t tell her. If she thought you’d moved on she’d have an easier time letting go.”

Richard flinched and slowly stood. “Have I passed your test yet Kastl? Can I
please
see her now?” he asked impatiently. “Please.”

“Yeah. You passed. Let’s go.” Kastl stood up.

“She hasn’t been sleeping well?” Richard asked quickly as the other man rose to his feet.

A frown darkened Kastl’s features. “She hasn’t slept in days,” he admitted bitterly. “She has nightmares...and I can’t protect her from her dreams.” He turned away from Richard.

“Kastl,” Richard called him back. “You love her, don’t you?”

Kastl smiled slightly. “How could I not?”

“And how does Manda feel?” Richard needed to know—was afraid to know.

“No. She loves you Richard. I don’t think she could ever be happy without you.” He paused. “I would have done my best though.” He turned once again and walked away a few steps.

“Alec,” Richard said more softly. Kastl stopped but didn’t turn around and Richard continued in a voice that was little more than a whisper. “You kept your promise. I had no right to ask it, but you kept her safe when I couldn’t. Thank you.”

Kastl nodded. “We’ll be flying tonight. I’ve left some clothes on her balcony for us. I’ll wait for you.” He launched into the air, transforming into a gray owl in mid-leap and soaring higher to wait for Richard.

Slipping into the blackest shadows, Richard quickly removed his clothes and rolled them up inside the jacket he’d retrieved from the ground, tucking his wallet into the middle of the bundle. He spotted a nearby drainpipe that was a suitable hiding place and stuffed the bundle inside. He heard Kastl’s wings above and launched himself into the air as well, flashing into the pale form of a barn owl. He soared after Kastl, with every stroke of his wings taking him closer to Manda.

Together they glided through the night with the lights of Denver spread out below them. They traced the course of the moon-silvered river as it ribboned its way through the city. This had always been what Richard loved most about his gift—the freedom of flying with nothing but the wind touching him—and this could very well be the last time he would ever experience it. The thought was easy and weightless, with no regret attached to it. If he couldn’t have this, if he could only have Manda and nothing else, he would still have more than most men could even dream. Anticipation licked through his veins like fire. Very soon he would see her.

Kastl dipped one wing and swooped down silently to a hotel balcony that faced west over the river. French doors were open into the room. As he glided over the rail he transformed in mid-flight and dropped lightly onto the heavily shadowed balcony in human form. Richard followed suit, bare feet dropping silently onto the tiled floor.

Kastl retrieved a pile of clothes from behind a chair in the corner and tossed a pair of khaki pants and a button-up shirt to Richard. As they dressed, Kastl spoke quietly, in a whisper so low even Richard’s enhanced hearing could just make it out.

“Two things. First of all, Manda doesn’t know she may be immune to a complete change. If you weren’t going to be around it didn’t seem relevant, and she already had enough to worry about without worrying about how you’d react to that. Secondly, she doesn’t like to be alone anymore—not
really
alone, especially at night. Like I said, she has nightmares. She doesn’t always want company, but she panics sometimes and she needs someone to be close by. She’s gotten better, but I think it’s going to be a while before she’s over it completely.” Kastl’s voice was almost tender as he explained the second point.

Richard nodded his understanding. His independent little Manda was shaken and he hadn’t been there to comfort her. Kastl had. He felt a stab of jealousy but quickly crushed it. At least she’d had
someone
to take care of her...someone who cared about her.

When they were both clothed, Kastl signaled with a finger to his lips for Richard to be quiet and then cocked his head to one side, listening through the French doors. Richard glided up beside him on silent feet and listened as well. The sound of quiet, almost imperceptible weeping made his heart clench and his throat constrict. He reflexively took a step forward, but Kastl stopped him with an arm across his chest. He shook his head and, motioning Richard both to follow and again to be quiet, he stepped onto the plush carpet of the hotel sitting room and walked toward the bedroom door. He walked heavily, obviously trying to make his presence known. He could, when necessary, be even more silent than Richard was being. Richard could hear Manda crying softly in the bedroom. He was close enough now to make out her scent clearly. He inhaled, savoring the clean sweetness of it.

Kastl paused in the doorway for a moment, and then spoke to Manda very quietly. “You aren’t thinking clearly right now, Manda. You should see him. Talk to him.” 

“Why? I won’t make him feel guilty for getting on with his life, for not waiting for his dead girlfriend to miraculously return from the grave—the girlfriend who thinks he’s a monster and would rather die than be like him. He doesn’t need me complicating his life.”

The hurt and despair in her voice were like physical blows to Richard and he flinched. His expression as he looked at Kastl was tormented. Kastl shook his head and locked his gaze on Richard as he responded to Manda.

“You didn’t mean that. You didn’t want him to expose our secret in front of the whole world. I figured that out right away. I’m sure he did too.” Kastl looked meaningfully at Richard. “Don’t you think it should be up to him to decide? Besides, you can’t hide forever. You know he’ll find out your alive sometime.” 

“By then it won’t matter. It probably doesn’t even matter now,” she responded hopelessly.

Richard wanted to shout out a denial to that outrageous lie.

“I don’t belong in his life anymore. I’ve done enough damage and he’ll be happy with...with her. He’ll be happy.” Her voice faded off into a whisper.

“What about you?” Kastl asked her gently and he pushed Richard forward into the bedroom with a nod. In all of the years Richard had known Kastl, he’d never known the other man to give anything away emotionally. He had always been detached and cold as ice, but at that moment the pain in the other man’s eyes told Richard exactly how much this was costing him.

“What about me?” Manda moaned in dismissal of her feelings, and Richard recognized the emotion in her voice. Manda was spiraling into the same black sea of hopelessness from which he’d narrowly escaped just that morning. He was beside her bed in one swift, soundless motion, her need drawing him like a magnet.

He heard Kastl move quickly and silently away and looked back to see him standing near the door to the corridor.

“You deserve to be happy, too,” Kastl called just loudly enough for Manda to hear, and with those words Richard understood the sacrifice the other man was making. He would walk away if that’s what it would take to make her happy.

Richard turned back to Manda, who was curled up on the bed. There she was. There was his Manda. He was afraid that if he reached out to touch her she would vanish—a dream. Then her whispered response to Kastl’s parting words stripped away his hesitation.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Richard sat down on the bed behind her. He leaned over her and very gently stroked her cheek with a finger. He heard the faint click of the door as Kastl left them. Manda froze.