My White Ex Soldier's Past (BWWM Interracial Romance) (5 page)

Cynthia was right. She needed to talk to him. She needed to hear Taylor’s side of the story, especially the side about being married and why the hell she had never heard about that. The fact that Laura made it clear that they never got divorced vexed her even more. She would have felt better knowing that the two were no longer together.

She walked out of Cynthia’s coffee joint and looked around for a cab. It was around eight in the evening. It was usually hard to get a cab at around that time. She was still standing there waiting for any sign of a cab when her phone rang just as she was about to go back into the café and ask for Cynthia to call her a cab from there. She looked at her phone and frowned. Normally she would be excited to see Taylor calling, but today she felt some resentment seeing his name on her phone screen. “Hey,” she said when she picked up her phone.

“
Hey. I was supposed to see you tonight. But you never called,” Taylor said.

“
I had a long afternoon,” she said her voice heavy from all the crying.

“
You sound tired. Are you okay?” he asked, sounding concerned. She wanted to say no, that she had been crying because she had met his wife or scream out something like “of course not, you lying buffoon!” but all she found herself saying was, “Yeah. I just had a really bad day,” she said.

“
Where are you?” he asked.

“
At Cynthia’s café. I’m waiting for a cab,” she said, secretly hating herself for not saying what was truly on her mind.

“
I’m a few minutes away. I could swing by and pick you up,” he offered.

This was her chance. Once she was in the car, then she had to talk about what was bothering her. He could not storm off and she could not hear any slamming doors. It was a good a time as any to get him talking about his past.

“Sure. How far out are you?” she asked.

“
Four or five minutes,” he said.

“
Then I’ll wait. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” she said before she hung up. She took a few deep breaths as she played the scenario out in her head. How she was going to set the conversation ball rolling was one thing she had no idea how to do. She had never been one to seek confrontation. That was more like Rochelle than her. She was the taking-the-high-road kind. She never got into any confrontation unless she absolutely could not help it, like when she confronted Laura earlier that day. She was still waiting when she heard a familiar voice that made her sick to the stomach.

“
Well, if it isn’t our little gold digging friend,” she heard Mark’s voice. She sighed and rolled her eyes. Could this day get any worse? She turned to look at Mark who was in the company of three other men, probably business associates.

“
Good evening to you too, Mark,” she said passively.

“
Looking to score another millionaire?” he asked as he walked towards her. The other gentlemen were already walking into the café giving their friend the “privacy” he needed.

“
I had a really long day, Mark. Just let me be,” she said as she looked around for any sign of an approaching truck. Mark moved closer to her and looked at her from head to toe.

“
I have a few tricks up my sleeve that could loosen up those tight muscles,” he said. Desiree took a step away from him as a vehicle drove towards them. Desiree breathed a sigh of relief when the truck pulled up in front of the café. She smiled at Taylor as he stepped out of the driver’s seat.

“
Is everything okay here?” Taylor asked as he walked towards them. Desiree nodded.

“
Yeah. Mark here was just leaving,” she said. She was really getting tired of Taylor walking into these standoffs with her and men from her past. But at least he knew about them. She looked at Mark as he disappeared behind the café door before turning to look at Taylor. “We need to talk,” she said, looking into his eyes.

If there was anything Desiree hated more than war, then it was the awkwardness of driving with someone in complete silence. She stole glances every so often but she could feel the tension between them growing. She wanted to find the right words to bring up Laura but at the same time, he also wanted to find the right words to bring up Mark.

“
So, were you meeting Mark at the café?” he asked without looking at her. Desiree was a bit irritated by his question. He knew of her history with Mark. Why would he ever think that she had gone there to meet him? What for?

“
Why the hell would you ask that?” she asked looking at him. “I don’t understand why you are acting like this. I have nothing to hide Taylor. Unlike you,” she said without looking at him.

“
What the hell is that supposed to mean? We are talking about you and how men from your past keep on showing up in your life,” he said as they turned the last corner before getting to Desiree’s apartment building. She looked at him and shook her head.

“
And you think I wanted to see them? You think I made the call and actually asked if Leon could come over on the same day that you were supposed to be coming for dinner? How stupid do you think I am?” she asked angrily.

“
Hey, those are your words, not mine,” he said as they pulled over in front of the apartment building.

“
Did you just call me stupid, Ericson?” Desiree asked in disbelief.

“
Like I said, your words not mine,” he said again. Desiree looked at him and laughed cynically.

“
Why the hell do you think you can be so condescending like you are so perfect yourself?” she asked angrily. Taylor turned and looked at her.

“
What the hell are you talking about?” he asked.

“
Me being ambushed at my place of work by a brunette who says she is your wife,” she said matter-of-factly. Taylor raised an eyebrow as he looked at her. That was obviously not something he expected to hear.

“
Dee, what are you talking about?” he asked still looking at her.

“
Laura came to see me at work today,” Desiree said without batting an eyelid. Taylor looked at her, surprised.

“
She
what
?” Desiree nodded.

“
Hi kettle. I’m pot,” she said sarcastically as she stretched out her hand for a handshake.

“
Why would she do that?” he asked, a faraway look on his face. Desiree could hardly believe it. She snapped her fingers angrily in his face.

“
Helloo! Your girlfriend has just told you that she got a visit from your wife and the only thing you can think about is why she would do that? In my opinion, you have bigger fish to fry, Ericson,” she said as she unbuckled her seat belt. Taylor placed a hand on hers and looked at her.

“
What are you doing?” he asked looking at her.

“
Going home. I would rather be there than here,” she said, yanking her hand away. She opened the door and quickly walked towards the building without looking back. She could hear Taylor calling for her but she felt that she had had enough of him for one day.

“
Desiree, give me a chance to explain,” Taylor said as he ran after her. He could not see it then but Desiree had tears rolling down her cheeks. She went up the stairs as fast as she could and when she got to her floor, she quickly fumbled in her purse to get her keys.

She was still rummaging through her purse when Taylor caught up with her. He held her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “I need you to let me explain myself,” he said.  Desiree shook her head.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were married?” she asked looking at him. “You know about me and Leon and what that did to me. Why would you put me through that again?” she asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

He felt his heart go out to her as he looked at her. He hated that she was in this situation because of something he failed to mention. He noticed her keys on the floor next to her feet and bent down to pick them up.

“Let’s go inside. We have a lot to talk about,” he said as he opened the door. He stepped aside and waited for her to go in. He was glad that the apartment was so quiet, meaning that he did not have to face the judgmental looks from Cynthia or hear Rochelle’s passive-aggressive remarks. He led her to the living room and sat her down before getting her some water from the kitchen. She hid a smile as she looked at him. She had never really understood why people thought water solved everything. Heard news of death of a loved one – have some water. A doctor tells you that you have cancer – have some water. You find out your boyfriend is actually a married man – have some water. She looked up at him and put the water on the coffee table in front of her.

“
Why…just tell me why, Ericson,” she said as she looked at him.
Taylor took a seat next to her and looked at her closely.

“
I should have told you about Laura when we first started out,” he began. “I got married when I was a marine. I had it all, the pretty girl, all my savings and I was serving my country. I had it all,” he said with a sad smile. “But when I had the accident, when I came back home, I was wreck. Apart from the injury I also had a bad case of PTSD,” he said. Desiree looked at him, surprised.

“
You had post traumatic stress disorder? How bad?” she asked.

“
It was bad all right. I would wake up at night screaming. Sometimes I would have a nightmare that I was being strangled by an insurgent and I’d fight back.” He took a long pause and then his gaze dropped to the floor. “Only to wake up and realize that I had my hands around Laura’s neck,” he said finally.

“
Oh my God,” Desiree said under her breath. She looked at him and wondered how someone with such a pure heart was capable of anything so savage. “Did you get help? What happened?” she asked, anxious to know everything about his post traumatic stress disorder.

“
It took a while but I did. But one day I came from therapy and she was gone,” he said quietly. “And she also took all our savings, which was actually mostly mine. And I went into a depression. Nothing could get me out of bed. I tried everything to get her back but no one knew where she was, not her friends, her family, no one. I just could not move on, not without her,” he added sadly. Desiree looked at him and sighed.

“
Did you ever...you know, like report it?” she asked. He smiled and nodded.

“
Oh yeah, I did. But nothing ever came to fruition. I almost thought she was dead or something,” he said and then looked up at her. “That was thirteen years ago,” he said. Desiree was lost for words. She had no idea how she was supposed to react to this. Was she supposed to be happy? Or was she supposed to be sad? She looked at him and took his hand in his.

“
I’m sorry,” she said in a whisper.

“
Don’t be,” he said as he looked into her eyes. “I found the woman I was made for,” he added with a smile. Desiree felt herself blush but she was determined not to let him off the hook too lightly. She looked at him and shook her head. “What?” he asked.

“
Why did you have to wait this long to tell me? Does it mean that if I had not asked you would not have told me all this?” she asked. Taylor nodded.

“
Most probably yes,” he said as he looked at her. “I am not proud of that and it is my past. I want to concentrate on my future. On our future,” he said as he moved closer to her.

“
You are right. It is your past but I am in your life now and these are things that you need to tell me about,” she said looking into his eyes. Taylor leaned in and gave her a long kiss. “I’m serious, Ericson,” she said pulling away from him. He smiled and took her face in his.

“
You are so beautiful,” he said in a whisper. She smiled as he leaned in for another kiss. As their lips met, she felt herself melting in his embrace. She hated that she was so weak around him. She was no longer that tough character she once wanted to be. All her defenses would come tumbling down when he held her, when he kissed her. With every caress, her heart seemed to beat faster. What was it that Taylor did that was so different from every other man? She felt her heart skip a beat when he slipped a hand under her shirt and pulled her even closer to him. She felt him unclasp her bra and pulled back again.

“
I’m still mad at you,” she said as she looked at him. Taylor smiled.

“
And I want to apologize,” he said as he caressed the back of her neck. She closed her eyes as she felt him kissing her neck. The way he ran his tongue along the smooth skin of her neck made her want to scream. She trembled as he nibbled and kissed her gently while his other hand made its way up her shirt to feel her soft breast. She gasped when she felt her nipple hardening against his palm. “You like that?” he asked in a whisper. She nodded and wrapped her arms around him. She wanted to rip his shirt off right there and then. Make him take her on that couch, but he was taking his sweet time. He pulled away from her and looked into her brown eyes that were now burning with desire. “Come on. Let me get you something to eat,” he said. Desiree looked at him in surprise as he walked to the kitchen. Why would he think of eating,
now?
She followed him into the kitchen and stood at the doorway watching him a she looked at the contents of the refrigerator.

“
You are sure you want to eat now, Ericson?” she asked as she looked at him.

“
Yeah, sure. I had a long day and I’m a bit low on electrolytes,” he said without turning around. She laughed and slowly walked towards him.

“
Then have a candy bar,” she said.

“
Nah, I need food,” he said. Desiree knew what he was doing and she had come to know that he enjoyed torturing her a bit too much. When she got to where he was standing, she put her hands on his hips, making him jump. He bumped his head on something as he struggled to get his head out of the refrigerator making Desiree laugh.

“
Sorry baby,” she said giggling. “Found what you were looking for?” she asked. Taylor nodded as he held the side of his head.

“
There is some lasagna in there and owwww. Man, that hurts,” he said. Desiree walked him over to the table and then walked back to the fridge where she grabbed a bag of frozen peas. She held the bag against his temple and looked into his eyes. “Thanks,” he said looking at her.

“
That’s okay. Hold that, I’ll get you your lasagna,” she said. She walked back to the refrigerator and grabbed the lasagna. “So, what else haven’t you told me about your past?” she asked as she put the bowl in the microwave.

“
I don’t know. What would you like to know?” he asked as he looked at her.

“
Well, I don’t know. Couples tell each other a lot. So let’s start with your birthday,” she said as she poured some juice into two glasses for them Taylor looked at her, surprised.

“
I have never told you that?” he asked. Desiree shook her head and put one glass in front of him.

“
I have never told you mine either,” she said as she sat down facing him. “I’m a Capricorn. January fifth,” she said with a smile.

“
Taurus. May first,” he said as the microwave timer went off. Desiree stood up and walked over to the microwave holding a plate. She quickly served the lasagna and then grabbed a fork before walking back to where he was. She took the bag of peas and inspected his temple. It was just slightly bruised.

“
Don’t worry. That won’t scar” she said before kissing his bruise. He winced, making her smile.

“
That really hurts,” he said looking at her.

“
Said the man who got blown up by an IED,” Desiree said laughing. Taylor’s face reddened when she realized how ridiculous she made him look at that moment.

“
You will pay for that,” he said in a warning tone. Desiree smiled and leaned forward, so close that he could feel her breath on his forehead.

“
I hope I will like my punishment,” she said in a low, sexy voice. He laughed and took a bite of his lasagna. “So,” Desiree said as she sat back down. “What are you going to do about Laura?” she asked looking at him. Taylor took a long deep breath before looking up.

“
Don’t worry yourself about her. I will handle it,” he said as he took her hand in his again. She smiled and nodded and then stood up. She walked up behind his seat and placed her hands on his shoulders. He gave a long low moan as she began rubbing his shoulders, slow and sensually. “Baby, that feels really good,” he said in a whisper. She smiled and let a hand slip down his chest and even lower to his crotch. She felt him get tense in his chair as her fingers brushed the sensitive bulge on his pants. “What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes closed.

“
You know exactly what I’m doing. You started it,” she said as she brought her hand up to raise his shirt up. She slowly ran her fingers along his muscular chest before she pulled his chair back. He looked at her surprised as she straddled him. She looked down at him and smiled before grinding her hips on his crotch gently.