My Way to Hell (30 page)

“No! That’s not true. He can see you if he leaves Solana’s body and takes his demon form. And Jesus, can he ever hurt you. If he finds a way to capture your soul, he’ll drag you off to a place that hands-down beats even the pit. But it isn’t just you he can hurt. He can also hurt others.” Darwin’s beady eyes shifted downward.

Rage took the place of her anxiety. “If he touches Carlos or Kellen or Delaney, I’ll find a way! I’ll make his first murder seem like he took a Royal Caribbean cruise!” she shouted into the roaring wind as if Armando were standing right in front of her.

Placing a hand on her arm, Darwin squeezed. “He knew you’d been banished to roam restlessly for eternity. He was the one responsible for planting your image in Carlos’s head, Marcella. He wanted Carlos to summon you. He wanted you to become involved with the boy.”

“But why? For Christ’s sake, why?”

Darwin motioned to the bench. “Sit. Please.”

She shook her finger at him. “Oh, no, Guido. When you tell me to sit, it means there’s some serious shit about to go down. I’ll take this standing up, floating.
What-ever
. Speak.”

Darwin hedged, gnawing on his thick lower lip.

Grabbing his meaty shoulders, Marcella couldn’t take it anymore.
“Just say it!”

She watched his wide neck work, his jowls tremble. “Carlos is your great-grandson, Marcella. Your granddaughter was Carlos’s mother, Solana. His grandfather is your son, David.”

The wind picked up with a howl, whipping her dress about her knees, the strap of her torn sandal flapping in time with it. Dead leaves bristled in the harsh gusts, crisp and brittle. The elements were all motion, yet she remained motionless, the air drained from her very lungs.

Darwin pulled her to the bench, pushing down on her shoulders to seat her, dragging her hand into his pinstriped lap, covering her fist with both of his hands. “I’m sorry. I . . . there was no other way . . . talk to me, Marcella.
Please
,” he urged, his unibrow scrunching together.

Her throat was thick, her heart bursting with fear. It all didn’t add up. No. Darwin had to be wrong. No, no, no. Moments ticked away while she fought to put her questions together. “This can’t be. How can this be? Carlos’s grandfather’s last name is Ramirez! You’re wrong, Darwin. I don’t know who fed you this load of bullshit, but you’re wrong!” Oh, God.
Please
let him be wrong.

His strong hand gripped hers harder, the bristling hairs on the back of it chafing her skin. “No, Marcella. I’m not wrong. Listen carefully to me. I made it my mission to be clear on what happened with David when I found out what you did for him. Your sister, Isabella, and her husband took David and moved as far away as they could from New York. They changed their names. They changed
David’s
name. If you check with Carlos’s grandmother, you’ll find that David’s name is now Juan.”

She felt dizzy—disoriented, like a cloudy blanket had fallen over her thinking skills. “
Why?
Why did they change his name?”

“Because of a threat from one of Armando’s supposed colleagues. He was convinced your sister knew where some large amount of money Armando had stolen from him was. He was a despicable thug who terrorized Isabella and her husband, Luis, with his clan of evildoers until they feared for their lives. They feared for David’s safety—so they took your parents and your son and moved to California with the help of Luis’s family and hid. They changed their name to Ramirez, Marcella. Juan Ramirez
is
David Villanueva.”

She bent over at the waist to stop the spinning. Oh, sweet Jesus. Carlos. He was her great-grandson? David was still alive? She shoved a fist in her mouth to keep from screaming her rage, her anguish. Almost as quickly, she sat back up. “Does Armando know I know what he’s done? That he’s taken possession of Solana’s body?”

“No—he only knows you’re here on this plane. It’s why he planted the image of you in Carlos’s head—for confirmation.”

There was always a way to bargain. Always a deal to be had. She’d make one. No matter what it entailed. Armando was a greedy pig. She’d find his weak spot and pluck the motherfucker dry. “Tell me what Armando wants. Tell me, and I’ll give it to him. Does he want to see me writhe in the pit? I know he wants revenge, so I’ll let him have whatever he wants and bargain for Carlos.” With what or how, she couldn’t even begin to consider.

“No, Marcella!” He gave her a hard shake, but his eyes still held sympathy. “Listen carefully. He definitely wants revenge, but he wants to make your eternity far worse than any pit in Hell could ever be. He wants the child. Armando knows who Carlos is. He plans to take him from his grandparents, and there isn’t a thing they can do because he’s in that child’s mother’s body.”

It had come full circle.

Armando would make her pay by way of proxy. By way of a small child. A child who was
familia
—family. Her son’s offspring. David. Oh, God,
David
. . . “I—I . . .” And Armando knew there wasn’t a damned thing she could do about it. She was a useless ghost. She couldn’t stop him. Who could stop him? How could they convince anyone that her ex-husband was holding Solana Vega’s body hostage? Just the thought was insane, even to someone who’d grown accustomed to the supernatural.

“Do you know what happened to Solana?” Marcella asked, her question littered with hesitation, her voice scratchy. “Is she . . . ? I mean, is she alive? I don’t understand possession well enough to . . . if that dickless motherfucker hurt her . . .” So many idle threats, so little time.

Darwin looked down at his knees. “If there’s any consolation in this, it’s that Armando didn’t kill Solana in order to possess her. He was just in the right place at the right time. When he was set free from that box, Solana had already passed.”

Jesus, God. Carlos’s mother was dead. Her granddaughter was dead. Grief gripped at her heart like a vise. “How do you know your information is accurate?
Who
told you this?”

His deep-set, beady eyes grew wet. “Solana. She’s on Plane Drab, Marcella. Just as you left, she arrived, and she’s not crossing over until she knows Carlos is safe. It isn’t just Carlos who needs your help; Solana does, too. She absolutely must cross, but she refuses until she knows Carlos and her parents are safe.”

Marcella’s mind raced with recklessness, almost unable to process the enormity of how tangled this had become. “How did Solana die, Darwin? Are we sure it was an accident?”

“That much I’m sure of. She’d had a particularly hard day and was missing her husband, whom I assume you know passed. While bathing, she’d consumed too much wine and fell asleep. She drowned.”

Pain clutched at her heart. “Oh, God. Carlos. Not only has he lost one parent, but now two?”

Darwin clucked his tongue. “Without a doubt, the boy has suffered epic tragedy as of late. Which makes me all the more anxious to keep him from any more.”

Defeat battered her entire body, making it slump.

But Darwin was beside her, shaking her out of her pity. “Don’t give up, Marcella. I can feel you giving up. Don’t. It’s just one more battle in a string of many you’ve waged. I know you’re tired. I know it seems like there’s no end in sight, but don’t give in. I’ll help you. We’ll find some way to protect Carlos.”

She threw her hands up in a gesture of pure helplessness. “How can we protect him from that freak—especially seeing as he’s in Solana’s body? He has all the control, Darwin! That miserable fuck knows it, too. We don’t have the resources—the kind of power it takes to thwart Armando’s rage. I just know that’s what he’s been doing while he’s been wandering around in his own granddaughter’s body, honing his demonic skills. He makes me want to gag. Damn it. I don’t know where to go from here. I’m lost, Darwin.”

“Then let me help you find your way.”

Her chest tightened into a fist of anger and other rebellious emotions she hadn’t felt since she’d saved her son’s soul. “Isn’t it funny how no one wanted a thing to do with me, despite the fact that I was a pretty decent demon who never really caused any trouble? I mean, the most damage I’ve ever done is to a Visa card. But now, because you all know the truth, you’re all in love with me? I’m still the same old beyotch I always was. What I did wasn’t anything any other mother wouldn’t have done if she had access to the kind of afterlife resources I did.”

He wagged a chubby, hairy-knuckled finger at her with reprimand. “That’s not fair. You hid, Marcella. You hid your sacrifices. Saving your son’s soul is the ultimate sacrifice.”

Marcella’s scoff held disgust. “So if I hadn’t saved someone’s soul, I’d still be a dirty, rotten bitch? I sort of resent that. I wasn’t a bad person while I was a demon. I might not have been out saving the world, but I didn’t hurt anyone. I shopped. I didn’t cultivate my evil. Yet still, it wasn’t enough.”

Darwin gave her a sideways glance chock-full of disapproval. “Please. Let’s be honest here, you were the crankiest, snarkiest demon in three-inch heels and a tight tee. You wanted us to believe you were heartless because it was easier than convincing anyone of the truth. Did it make people love you? No. Had we known why you were so godforsakenly horrifying, we might have cut you some slack.”

She sighed, her anger vanishing, helplessness returning. “That’s fair.”

He gave her a hard shove with his shoulder. “C’mon, Marcella—get mad at me. Call me a kibble-loving ass licker—
fight back
!”

“With what?” she screamed into the wind. “Jesus Christ, you canine catastrophe—fight back with
what
?”

Now Darwin slumped back, too, his beefy shoulders pressing against hers. Settling beside her, he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know, but by all that’s holy, I’ll find out. We’ll find out. We’ll end this cyclical hell once and for all. Delaney and Clyde’s situation seemed helpless, but they found a way out. We’ll find one for Carlos, too. But I beg you, don’t give up. We will find some way to help him. I won’t have it any other way.”

Fat tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Here came the whine. “I’m just so tired, Darwin. The running from the truth, the hiding, it’s taken its toll, I think. I don’t know that I realized how exhausting it would be until it all came crashing around my ears. Lately, I’m either crying or crying. It’s pathetic.”

Pulling her to him, Darwin pressed her head to his shoulder. “That’s because you’ve stuffed this so far down inside you that it became a ticking time bomb. Letting it go, talking about something so horrible, so life-altering, is exhausting, Marcella. You need to mourn properly instead of shoving it aside. But there’s hope now. You have a great-grandson who needs you. I suspect, with all the time you’ve been spending with Kellen, he needs you, too.”

She fought another wretched sob against his linebacker’s shoulder.

“Ah. It’s as I suspected. Kellen knows about David?”

She nodded, mute.

“Things have changed between you, haven’t they?”

Words were impossible.

“You’re in love.”

Marcella choked on a whimper and another nod of her head. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I thought it was just a stupid fantasy, but everything’s changed.”

“That’s so peachy. So damned peachy,” he replied, gruff and husky.

Coughing, she sat up and sputtered, “How is that peachy, Darwin? I’m a ghost. He’s mortal. There’s nothing peachy about my loving someone I can never be with.” She hiccuped.

“But you’re with him now.”

“But for how long, Darwin? How long will I be here before I get sucked back to that shitty plane with a bunch of people who don’t know what they want? I
know
what I want!”

“Kellen,” he stated with directness.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck-all, I want Kellen and Carlos and normal. I want to be like everyone else. I want to do the same things every day. I want to live a dull, monotonous, boring, insignificant-as-shit life until I get old and die the
normal
way. I want to go to the grocery store, not shoot fireballs from my fingertips. I want to goddamned well clean the toilet and not float while I do it. I want to walk out a door, not through it!”

The look he gave her was grave, and she knew what it meant. Knew it in her core. It was time she expressed it out loud. Let it roll off her lips so that she could just come to terms with it. “There is no way, is there, Darwin? There’s no way for me to become earthbound again?”

“No,” he said with a hitch in his rough voice. “Dear God, Marcella. I’ve talked to everyone—anyone who’ll listen, and I—I—”

“It’s okay,” she said, cutting him off. She couldn’t bear to hear just how helpless this all was again. She did that enough in the confines of her mind.
“It’s okay.”

Darwin shook his head. “I can’t apologize enough for what I’ve dredged up, Marcella. Nothing will ever be enough.”

She patted Darwin’s knee, summoning the will to focus. “You were thinking of Delaney. You were right. I owed her peace of mind.”

He snorted. “Oh, I’m positive she lays her pretty head on her pillow every night and rests easy knowing you’re stuck here without a body. I’ve only made things worse. And you know something else? Did you ever wonder why I never crossed?”

Marcella’s eyes fell to the ground again. “I have. I just figured it was personal, and you didn’t want to talk about it.”

Crashing his fist down on his thigh, he yelled, “Because of Delaney. Because I adored her when I was her dog. Because I never wanted to leave her. I wanted to watch her live a long, happy life, then cross with her. Now all I do is watch her suffer, and in the process, I’ve made you suffer, too.
Bra-vo
.”

Marcella’s smile of acknowledgment was bittersweet. “You love her. I get the kind of devotion she inspires. I love her, too,” she whispered.

The wind whistled between them in long gusts while they sat and pondered. In that silence, Marcella had a vague flicker of a memory that halted her breath.