My Sunshine (33 page)

John
laughed, but quickly covered his mouth with his hands and sighed.

“What’s wrong?”
Jane asked, leaning forward and

touching his knee.

He shook his head. “I’ve got this crazy, crazy idea, but I’m not sure I can pull it off, or even if it’s a good idea.”

“What is it?”
Bright asked.

“At Christmas,
Chloe told me about her fantasy wedding.

I want to try to arrange everything just like she wanted it and
surprise her with it.”

“Surprise her with a wedding?”
Jane asked.

John
nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’m prepared that she’d say no and want to do it her way, you know plan it herself and all.”

“Then why try this at all?”
Bright asked.

“Because I really think she’d go for it. I do; and I really,
really want to marry her.”

“Then why not just ask?”

Jane playfully slapped Bright’s arm. “Because this is romantic, dope.” She leaned forward. “Do you know enough details? Like the dress and everything?”

John
nodded. “Yeah. Will you help me?”

Jane
nodded. “Of course.”

John
spent the next hour describing Chloe’s dream

wedding as she had explained it to him.
Jane wrote the details in a notebook, and Bright offered suggestions of how to sneak all of their friends away without Chloe becoming suspicious.

“You find a place and leave the rest to me,”
Jane said, closing her notebook. “I’ll get Dana to help me and we’ll pull it together.”

“Are you planning on calling her brother?”
Bright asked.

John
nodded. “Oh yeah, of course.”

“What about your family?”
Jane asked.

John
shook his head. “I don’t think so. They probably wouldn’t come anyway.”

“Not even your sisters?”

He shrugged, and then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.

I’m not inviting them…or the press. I want to keep this as low
key as possible, Jane.”

She nodded. “No problem.”

John stood up. “Well, I’m going to bed. Thanks a lot,

guys.”

Chloe
opened the pack of birth control pills and looked at the days of the week printed inside. She shook her head and recounted the days. Something wasn’t right. She should have started her period two days ago. She knew that she had missed some pills while in the hospital, and she had just picked up where she let off when she finally started taking them again.

Still, though, she was late.

“Oh no,” she said aloud. She had been taking these pills for almost four years and had never been late. “What happened?”

She went downstairs to the kitchen where
Jane was cooking. Seven-month-old Will reached for her from his playpen as she walked by. She picked him up. “Can I ask you something, professionally?”

“Sure.”

Chloe explained to her the situation with her pills. “So what do you think?”

Jane
shook her head. “You’re probably just going to run a little late this month. You’re body got confused. I wouldn’t worry.” She cocked her head to the side. “Did you and John have unprotected sex after you missed the pills?”

Chloe
bit her lip. She didn’t want to answer. They had been instructed not to have intercourse for a few weeks, in order for John to heal and not put any pressure on his wounds. Of course, they hadn’t adhered to the doctor’s orders.

“I’m just saying,”
Jane continued, “that if you did, it’s possible you’re pregnant.”

Chloe
felt her stomach turn over. She hugged Will close to her for a second before returning him to the playpen.

“Thanks,
Jane. I’m sure it’s just late.” She went back upstairs and grabbed her purse and returned to the kitchen. Again Will reached for her.

“I’m going to run to the store. Do you need anything?”

Jane wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “I don’t reckon I could talk you into taking him with you? I need to take a shower before Mike gets home. We’re supposed to go to Birdie’s for dinner. You can take my car.”

Chloe
scoped up Will. “No problem. What are you

cooking if y'all are going to Mike’s mom’s?”

“Oh, this is dessert,” Jane said, waving her hand toward the stove. “Thanks, Chloe.”

Once inside the drugstore,
Chloe picked up a pregnancy test and several other items. She paid for them, and left the store clutching the bag. Inside the car, she shoved the pregnancy test in her jacket pocket.

“I’m back,” she called once back inside the house.

“In my room.”

Chloe
carried Will into the master bedroom and deposited him on the bed where Jane was sitting putting on a pair of socks.

“Did you get what you needed?”
Jane asked.

Chloe
knew that she knew. “Yeah.”

“Mike just called. He and
John will be home in about five minutes.”

Chloe
took her bag up to her room. She put her purchases away and hung her coat in the closet, pulling the test kit out of the pocket. She started toward the bathroom with it, but stopped and sat down at the table.

She was sitting at the table in their bedroom when
John came in. Her back was to him so he couldn’t see what she was doing, but he could tell she was fiddling with something.

“Hey, sweetie,” he said as he come up behind her. He
draped his coat over the back of one of the chairs. “What’cha doing?”

She shook her head. “Just sitting here.” She was holding a
small rectangular box, and she sat it on the table in front of her.

“Whoa,”
John said. “Is that what I think it is?”

She nodded. “If you think it’s a home pregnancy test, it is.”

“Are you pregnant?” He lowered himself into a chair with a slight wince.

She shrugged and picked up the box. “I don’t know. I
haven’t done it yet.”

John
waited a moment before speaking. “You think you might be?”

She nodded again. “I’m late. I missed some pills when I
was in the hospital. It’s a possibility. We didn’t protect ourselves.”

“Are you going to do it today?”

“Yeah.” She pushed away from the table and disappeared into the bathroom with the box. A minute or so later, she returned to her seat.

John
raised his eyebrows. “So?”

“Three minutes.”

“Oh.”

“What if it’s positive?”
Chloe asked, clearly alarmed.

“What if it is? It would be okay with me.”

“I’m scared.”

John
reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “Don’t be scared. I’m right here. You don’t have to go through anything alone.”

Her eyes welled up with tears. “I can’t take my meds if I’m
pregnant.”

“You can’t tak
e
thes
e
meds, but Dr. Stan and I talked about this already, and there are medications you can take while you’re pregnant.”

“You talked about this? Why?”

“Because Chloe, I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. I need to know all the possibilities.”

“So what if he had said I couldn’t, or I shouldn’t, get

pregnant? Then what? Would you have broken off the engagement?”

“Of course not. I just wanted to know.”

Chloe crossed her arms over her chest. “And he said it was okay?”

John
nodded. “He said we could manage your disease and a pregnancy.”

She signed and shook her head. “I’ll never get better

switching medication all the time.”

John
frowned. “There’s no cure.”

She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “I’m scared.”

He slid his chair closer to hers. He put one hand on her back and the other on her leg. “I understand that, baby girl. Let’s not worry until we know for sure, okay?”

They fell silent again.
John drummed his fingertips on the table. “Time’s up.”

With a nod, she slid her chair away from the table and went
back into the bathroom. She held her breath and closed her eyes
.
Please Go
d
.
Please God, what? I don’t even know wha
t
I want. Lord, I’m scared. Just give me the strength to handle whatever the result will be.

She opened her eyes and looked down at the test stick.

Negative. “Damn,” she muttered. No matter how scared she was or how hesitant she was about getting pregnant, she knew John wanted it to be positive. And she knew she didn’t want to disappoint him.

She returned to the bedroom and handed the test to
John.

“Negative,” she said.

She saw the flame of hope in his eyes flicker, and then burn out. He gave a small nod. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,
John.”

He shook his head. “For what?”

“I know you wanted it to be positive.”

He stood up and pulled her to him. “Oh, baby girl, don’t
worry about me. I’m fine.”

“But you looked so disappointed.”

“I’m not going to lie to you; I want badly to have babies with you. I want to build a family. There’s nothing more I want in this life than to be your husband and the father of your children. So what if we’re not pregnant this time. We will be sometime.” He pulled back some so he could look into her eyes. “Are you still unsure about having kids?”

“It will be okay?”

John nodded. “I promise.” He pulled her close to him

again. “I promise.”

Chloe buried her face in his chest. She knew that he loved her, he would always take care of her, and for as long as she lived she would be safe with him. “I want it, too, John.”

“Pack your stuff,” John said. It was a Friday morning two weeks later. They would be leaving to start the tour in five days.

Chloe
raised her head from her pillow. “What’s going on?”

“We’re going on vacation,”
John announced. “One last bang before we hit the road.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” John said, his eyes sparkling.

She shook her head. “Oh boy. Last time you took me on a
surprise vacation, we ended up in Vegas.”

“Hey, that was a fun trip!”

“Yeah, it was. Vegas again?”

John
shook his head. “Nope.”