My Stupid Girl (28 page)

Everyone stood at the front door, waiting
for me to unlock it. 

“Oh, darn, I lost my keys!” I pretended to
fumble around for the “lost” keys.

“Knock it off.” Lucy grabbed my keys from
my hands and opened the front door. Seconds later, a bunch of people jumped out
from behind furniture and yelled “Surprise!” Then they all spent a few minutes
standing in my living room, laughing and clapping for me as I went around and
said hi to everyone. Even though they’d been obvious about being there, it was
such a cool gesture. I’d never had anyone throw a party for me before, and
especially not a surprise party at the tail end of an awesome surprise-tattoo
session. I felt a warm something in the pit of my stomach; it grew when Lucy
grabbed my hands and started laughing. 

“So dude, I want to see it.” Johnny grinned
at me as I greeted him, Jennika by his side.

“See what?” My grandma piped up from a few
feet away, her old eyes locked on me. 

“Umm.” I shot Johnny my special “you are
dumber than a rock” look. His eyes got huge as soon as he realized the magnitude
of the mistake his stupid big mouth had made. His shoulders started to shake
with silent laughter although he at least had the decency to look down at the
ground in shame while he laughed at me.

“What?” My grandma asked again, looking
suspiciously at me. “See what?”

I looked over at Lucy for help but she had
mysteriously vanished. I turned in a complete circle. A shadow was following my
back wherever it turned, making sure to stay out of my line of sight  I glanced
over at Isaiah, who had the hood of his sweatshirt over his head and face,
completely bunched closed, and tied so that nothing but his nose was showing.
He was leaning against the wall with his arms and legs crossed, not moving,
hoping to blend in with the paneling probably. Justin just stood in the middle
of the carpet, eyes frozen like a deer in the headlights.   

“I can’t believe you guys are throwing me
under the bus like this!” All I heard in response was uncontrolled squeaking
from behind me.

“David, what is everyone laughing about?”
My grandma reached both her hands out. In slow motion, I watched in horror as
she put one hand on each side of me, gripping my upper arms in concern. I
screwed my face up in pain and sucked air through gritted teeth. Her face was
awash with worry, knowing she’d hurt me but trying to figure out how. Then,
like she was seeing her old, weak hands for the first time, she looked at me
with paralyzing suspicion. 

“David Anthony, what have you done?” Her
usually sweet voice snarled with disgust. I started to chuckle. I put my hands
on her shoulders to try and calm her down, but my non-repentant face and Lucy’s
unsuppressed giggling from behind my back was making her even more upset.

“Lucy?” 

“I didn’t do anything.” She said from
behind me. My grandma gave me a look that I had come to recognize as the
business-face. I put my hands up in surrender.

“Ok, Grandma. Don’t freak out.” I took off
my jacket and laid it over Lucy’s face. She didn’t protest. I think she was
happy for an extra layer of camouflage. 

I pulled on my long left sleeve and slid my
arm out, being careful not to rub too hard on my skin. I unfolded my arm from
underneath my shirt and showed my grandma what I had just done. She grabbed her
chest like she was having a heart attack.

“David!” She gasped. Her mouth was opening
and closing like she was a trying to breath air. I was getting slightly
worried. I hadn’t considered that she might be so shocked it would actually
cause problems. But that was what it was looking like.

My eighteenth birthday was about to go from
the best ever to the worst ever.

“Who paid for that?” Her next question came
as a relief, not only because it meant she probably wasn’t going to die, but it
also meant I got to deflect some of the Wrath of Grandma. I reached behind me, picked
Lucy up by her elbows and set her down right in front of me as a human shield. 

Lucy wiggled her fingers in a hesitant wave
hello and bit her bottom lip. Adorable. As usual.

“Lucille Jessica Peterson!” My grandmother
started laughing. I couldn’t believe it; how did she do that?!  My grandmother
had been ready to make me fetch a switch from a tree in the backyard, but once
sweet Lucy was in front of her everything was hunky dory. Typical.

“That is incredible, David.” Sean
interrupted my grandmother’s fit of mirth, picking up my arm and holding it out
to inspect. He winked at me when he heard my grandma’s huffing and puffing.
Sean had a few tattoos, so his admiration was greatly appreciated. 

“My mom hated my first one, but she got
used to it.” His reassuring voice was as much for Grandma as it was for me.  

“He drew that.” Lucy voice burst with pride
as she glanced sideways at my grandma.

“You what? So you had this planned and you
couldn’t have warned me?” My grandma was furious again. I folded my arm back
into my shirt and through my sleeve before I reached out for her. Grandma
backed up, wagging a finger and spouting admonitions at me, but I caught her
and picked her up off of her feet in a bear hug. She fought to get away from
me, which felt like a butterfly trying to escape from my closed palm. I didn’t
loosen my grip. She was so little; I had to make sure I didn’t squeeze her to
tight.

“Looooooove you,” I crooned as she wriggled
to get free.

“Oh you scamp!” She muttered in disgust.

“Grandma. I love you so, so much.” I kissed
the top of her head and hugged her tighter. I heard some air escape her little
lungs and a quiet huff that sounded like she was giving in to me. Or maybe I
was just squeezing too hard. Either way, it meant I was winning.

“I love you, too, David.” She put her
feeble arms around me as I placed her gently back on the ground. The amazing
little woman immediately slapped my left arm harder than she normally would
have. I groaned in pain, which made her smile. 

“I don’t know what you were thinking,” her
mumbles of disgust trailed behind her as she walked away into the kitchen. I
didn’t catch the rest of it, though it sounded like “mother rolling around in
her grave.”

Lucy turned around to kiss me quickly then
ran happily into the kitchen after my grandma.

The guys had ordered a few extra large
pizzas and my grandmother made a German Chocolate cake from scratch.

German Chocolate was my favorite cake in
the world. I wasn’t much for sweets, but when she made that cake I could eat
the whole thing and enjoy every single stomach cramp that came with it. Grandma
and Lucy bustled around most of the evening, serving everyone and cleaning up
as they went. Lucy was not a naturally tidy person but she loved to serve
people so she did everything she could to help my grandma. Part of that meant
cleaning as they went. Lucy had learned previously that, if any mess got left
until the night was over, Grandma would fight Lucy out of the kitchen, not
allowing her to touch anything left behind. Lucy’s fix was to become a
Tasmanian devil of cleanliness when she was around my grandmother. It worked
for both of them, and it was so sweet to watch my gorgeous, hyper girlfriend
following my frail grandmother around, picking up dishes and wiping off
surfaces as she went.

Everyone else sat around the living room
talking about this and that. Sean spent some time teaching me the basics of
tattoo healing and care.

“It’s going to start itching in about three
days; don’t scratch it!” he warned. “It’s healing like any other scab. Use aloe
or lotion to knock it back a little. Does your grandma have any cortisone
cream?” I shook my head “no.” I wasn’t positive about that, but I didn’t really
want to ask my grandma for prescription steroid cream. Sean shrugged, “that’s cool.
It’s a little better with the itching, but you should be good. The hardest part
is leaving it alone once it totally scabs over. Weirdly fascinating.” 

Then he started asking me about drawing him
one. But, after he’d been describing what he wanted for a few minutes, he
offered to pay me whatever labor it took to draw. I couldn’t believe that
someone was willing to pay me for one of my dinky little drawings. I had no
idea what I would charge for something like that. I refused and told him I
would draw him anything he wanted, he didn’t have to pay. He didn’t really
argue but I could tell he was one of those people who would figure out how to
make things go the way he wanted.

It was cool being in my grandma’s living
room with all my old friends and a few new ones for my birthday, eating and
talking. This would never have happened at my father’s house. I’d never
realized what I was missing while I was living there, but a night like this
made it so obvious to me. I felt, for the first time in my life, genuinely
happy. Not just because things were going my way, but because I felt like I had
a future. 

A feeling of hopefulness washed over me as
I sat in the middle of my own birthday party, witnessing people celebrating my
birth. I know, a little dramatic, but it was true.

Lucy walked in from the kitchen with a big
wrapped box in her arms and an excited look on her face.

“Lucy, you already got me something.” As I
spoke, I saw my grandma glare at me. 

“Oh hush.” She plopped down on the floor
next to me and wiggled around in excitement, waiting for me to open it. Johnny,
Sean, and Isaiah all pulled gifts from secret hiding stashes around the room
and tossed a wrapped gift of their own into (or near) my lap. Talk about a
first. A pile of birthday presents was totally unknown to me.

I opened Lucy’s. It was a jet black jacket
made from real leather, nothing like the fake one I wore all the time. It was
amazing. I knew it must have cost a ton of money and I tried not to feel guilty
about it. 

“Thanks, Luce.” I met her eyes and my heart
about died from pleasure, seeing those blue eyes looking back at me in
excitement.  

“Yeah, yeah, Lucy’s gift is amazing. Big
shocker. Open someone else’s.”

Isaiah’s dry voice broke our little
stare-contest. I looked down at my pile of gifts and opened the smallest one
next. It was from Sean. It was a big bottle of over-the-counter cortisone
cream.

I started to laugh.

“How did you know I’d be needing this?”

“People talk.” Sean laughed and pointed at
my arm.

“Use it; you’re going to be thanking me.
That’s a big tattoo.” 

“Thanks man.” I put it to the side, placing
it carefully on my leather jacket. The next package I reached for said, “from
Johnny and Jennika.” 

They were giving gifts together now. I
needed to get him alone and make him tell me what was going on. I looked up at
him and, from the swift red blush that instantly spread over his face, I knew
they’d probably had their “first kiss” weeks ago. What a jerk for not telling
me.

Inside was a frame with a picture I had
never seen before. I remember Jennika taking it, but had totally forgotten
about it until now. It had been taken the day I finally kissed Lucy. The image
was of Lucy and I sitting together at a table in the restaurant we had gone to
after church. Lucy and I were looking at each other, our fingers intertwined.
She had an affectionate, dreamy look in her beautiful eyes while I had a stupid
grin on my dumb face. The quality of the picture was amazing. I had heard
rumors of Jennika’s photography skill but this was the first time I had seen
it. This was wall-worthy in any home.

“Thanks guys, this is fantastic.” I got up
to hug Lucy’s best friend, who I had become incredibly fond of.

“I got the frame, man.” Johnny opened his
arms out like he wanted a hug, too.

“Thanks a bunch for bankrolling the artist,
Johnny.” I matched his goofy hamming, and bear-hugged him. He slapped my left
arm affectionately. I groaned in pain and his eyes held a mix of mischief and
apology.

“Oops, sorry man. Gotta’ get used to that.”
His act did not fool me and he started to laugh at my grumpy face. I had never
realized how much people smacked me until I had a giant open wound on me that
screamed in pain whenever anyone came near it. 

I went back over and slouched down next to
Lucy to open Isaiah’s gift. 

As soon as I picked it up I started
laughing.

“What?”  Isaiah spoke in an unconvincingly
innocent tone.

“Because I already know it’s something
ridiculous.”

I pulled out a stuffed animal, a little
black puppy with a tiny noose around his neck. Lucy started howling in laughter
and threw a pillow at Isaiah from across the room. I had no idea why it was
funny. Isaiah was quick to explain, in his best Godfather impersonation.

“Lucy told me about the dog that almost
killed her outside of your bedroom window, so I took care of it for you.”

“Love it, man.” I put all my gifts together
in a pile and sighed with satisfaction. Everyone else seemed pleased as well.
Gift-giving had been a success. Michelle hadn’t gotten me anything, which was
no surprise and completely unexpected. She had been quietly sitting on the
couch the entire evening growling at anyone who came near her. Her going so far
out of her comfort zone and spending time with me was more than anything she
could have purchased for me.    

My grandma walked over to me, surprising me
with a little black box. It wasn’t wrapped, but had a big red bow on it. 

“What’s this?” I asked as I took the box
from her.

“Do you want me to tell you, or do you want
to open it?”

My grandma was so sassy. 

I lifted the lid off the little box. Inside
was a black rectangle with a silver car key, the kind cut with lasers, jutting
from one end. The rectangle had a Honda symbol on it. I looked up at Grandma,
then looked back down at the contents of the black box again, in total
disbelief.

“What?” I asked, picking up the little key
in confusion. 

“Dude. Did you get a car?” Johnny walked
over and grabbed the key from me. I looked, opened-mouthed, back over at my
grandmother. She had an indulgent, delighted look on her face, like the
grown-up version of Lucy’s gift-giving face.

“You want to see your new car?” she asked.

“You got me a car,” I said, shocked. 

“Oh, I hate it when you drive all the way
to Kalispell and back in that ridiculous death trap.” She stomped her foot; it
didn’t make any noise. Nothing a human ear could hear, anyways. 

Grandma grabbed the key back from Johnny,
and led me thru the kitchen to the garage. She opened the door and turned on
the light. Inside was a little four door green Honda Civic with a big red bow
on the top.

I was overcome.

“Grandma, this is amazing. I’m so sorry I
got a tattoo.” I pulled her up into my arms in another bear hug, her second of
the evening.

“Oh, don’t lie.” She poked me in the ribs,
hugging me back. “Besides, it’s not a new car. It’s about seven years old, but
Hondas are good cars and the other owners took good care of it.” She sounded
like she was apologizing.

“Thank you.” I felt like I was talking from
the end of a tunnel or something. My disbelief was making everything tune out a
little bit. What an amazing day. 

I looked over at Lucy whose eyes were
excited for me. Then I realized the day wasn’t over yet. It was barely dark.

“Its 9, I gotta’ go back to Kalispell.”
Sean’s voice broke through the Hallelujah chorus going off in my head. He was
shaking my hand and pointing to my tattooed arm by the time I’d fully snapped
back to reality. “Use that cortisone and tell me when you get a chance to draw
me one.”

“Yeah, we should go, too.” Johnny grabbed
Jennika’s hand and came over to hug me good-bye. He winked at me and made a
phone sign with his hand, his pinky by his mouth and his thumb up at his ear.
Jennika snorted, rolled her eyes, and hugged me. Michelle stormed off after
them, not saying good bye to anyone. Gosh I loved that girl. She was a such a
grumpy little thing.  

“I need a ride home,” Justin said
apologetically.

“I’ll take you!” I started to unlock my new
car, feeling insanely happy. 

“Hold up, dude, we’re not in a hurry. We
can leave whenever.” Isaiah shrugged, glancing back and forth at Lucy and I. 

“Oh, you guys drove together.” I remembered
we had ridden in Lucy’s car. So until they all left, the rest of the evening
would be spent with Lucy and Isaiah and Justin. Joy. 

“Wait a sec,” Lucy said to me, then turned
around to face Isaiah. “Would you mind driving Justin home then driving back to
my house to get your car? I want David to drive me back. Alone.” She had a
mischievous smile on her face. Isaiah’s eyebrows shot up and my heart jumped. I
tried to beat it back into submission with the awesome powers of my mind.

My brainpower failed me. 

“Always a bridesmaid and never a bride,”
Isaiah moaned in a forlorn voice as he turned around to leave. He stopped in
front of my grandma and put his hand up in a sort of salute, his version of
“goodbye and thank you.” Justin came up to Lucy and me. He put his hand out for
a shake. I grabbed it and shook vigorously. He reached out to shake Lucy’s hand
but she completely ignored it and just went straight for the hug. His sheepish
grin followed him through the garage door, into the kitchen, and out of sight.

My grandma followed the two guys out of the
garage, leaving me alone with Lucy for the first time that day. 

“So, did you like your birthday?” She
placed both her hands in mine. 

“It was easily the greatest birthday I have
ever had, Lucy. Seriously, thank you.” I kissed her forehead, and I felt her
body go mushy.

“Want to go for a drive in my sweet ride?”
I opened the passenger door with a flourish. She slid in easily.

I ran in and kissed my grandmother
good-bye. She slapped my arm again, cackling as I flinched in pain. 

I raced back to the garage, like the whole
thing was a dream and my new car and girlfriend might disappear if left alone
for too long. I got into the front seat and turned the ignition. It didn’t
sputter or stall like my Rabbit had, but started right up, sounding like a
kitten purring happily. There was already a button for the garage door on my
visor. I pressed it and the streetlights slowly came into view behind us. 

Lucy talked my ear off the whole hour’s
drive back to Kalispell. She would get into a story, moving her hands and gesturing
wildly. Eventually, she’d put her feet up on the dash, then notice my sideways
glance and take them down quickly. She was constantly beating her hands against
her legs and moving some part of her body. 

By the last few miles, the constant
flailing around was actually beginning to bug me.

“Can’t you stop moving?” I asked seriously.
She instantly went still, looking at me with hurt eyes. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I was.” She
clasped her hands together and sat up straight. I felt guilty for being so impatient
with her. I hadn’t realized just how hyper she actually was. Being in this
confined space for a length of time made me realized how much she really needed
some kind of regulator. I wondered why her parents didn’t keep an eye on
whether or not Lucy was regularly taking her medication. It seemed kind of
careless to just let a minor be in charge of their own health regimen.

I was slowly realizing that the carefree
attitude of Lucy’s parents, trusting their daughter so much that they pretty
much let her do whatever she wanted, wasn’t actually helping her. 

We drove into her neighborhood. Lucy was
still sitting up straight trying not to fidget. I wanted to get her to talk,
but realized that she was probably pouring her whole concentration into staying
still. So I just put my hand on her back gently. She turned her head to me and
I smiled at her apologetically. She leaned back into her seat, relaxing a
little, but keeping her hands clenched. I parked in front of her house and
turned off the ignition.

I looked up hopefully at her, then I had an
idea.

“I think I need a re-do.” I said, bumping
under her chin with the side of my curved pointer finger and jumping out of the
car. I walked coolly to the passenger’s side and opened the door. When she
didn’t jump out, I grabbed her hand and led her out. She rolled her eyes at me
and started laughing. I put my arm out, crooking my elbow and winking at her.
She linked her arm into mine, and I led her up to her front door, making a
point to have some swagger in each step I took. When we got to her front door I
put released her arm. I licked my left pointer finger and slid it across my
eyebrow and spun my piecing I had at the end of it. I winked at her and leaned
against the door with my arms crossed, like an old-school Fred Astaire. I was
being extremely silly, but Lucy’s eyes were big and she closed her mouth,
sucking in her lips like she did when she was nervous. I loved it.

“So. I had a smashing time tonight,
darling.” I made my voice deeper, with a pretty decent French accent, and I
cleared my throat impressively. 

“Me too.” She smiled up at me, her hands
fidgeting with her shirt. 

“May I call on you sometime, madam?” I
raised my eyebrows and made a kiss face. She laughed at me and cocked her head
to one side.   

“Well, I appreciate it, swanky dude, I
really do,” she started playing along, “but, I’m dating this guy I really
like…”

“Oh, dear, what a shame for me. But he
cannot be that wonderful if you are out with moi on this lovely evening.” I
made a mental note to use the French accent evening more often. She was getting
a kick out of it.

“Actually, I’m kind of in love with him.”
She stared at me as she spoke and blushed a raging red. 

“What did you just say?” I dropped the
accent instantly, standing up straight.

“What?” Lucy asked in a fake clueless
voice.

“Um, you just said you were in love with
me.” 

Instead of responding she threw her arms
around my neck and laughed, her beautiful blue eyes inches from mine. 

“I am in love with you!” She kissed my
lips; I responded passionately.

I kissed her back like I’d never kissed her
before. I wasn’t the least bit nervous. I felt elated. I kissed her like I was
in love. Because I was.

I finally let her free and she looked like
she had forgotten how to breathe. I sighed and let her go, wishing that I could
be with her. I didn’t even try for another kiss. At this point, it would be
like torture. An image flashed into my mind of being there the next morning,
making her breakfast, seeing her sleepy face smiling at me. Neither of us said
anything; I think our minds were working exactly the same. She turned for the
door quickly, and I started walking to my new car.

It was the first time I imagined myself as
her husband. I was watching her walk down the aisle towards me, almost mine.
The thought almost paralyzed me with how much I wanted it. It took all my
concentration to get to the street.

Once in my car, I saw her door open. She
poked her head out so I rolled down the car window to see what she needed. I
hoped it was something like, “hey, my parents aren’t home, want a night cap?”
But what she actually said was much more daunting: