My Soldier: A Miliatary Romance (17 page)

But I couldn't move far, each tug sent electric snaps through my leg, causing me to stop and grab hold of the wounded area.

Looking over my shoulders, I tried to see if any of my brothers were close by. But there was only debris, and from what I could tell—but tried to block out—mangled body parts that were unidentifiable to me.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I tried to gather my thoughts, think back to training and what I needed to do to stop from bleeding out.

I couldn't see all the damage to my thigh, but the enormous pool of blood forming and the woozy feeling that was starting to wrap around my brain was telling me it was pretty bad.

I was bleeding, and it wasn't going to stop on its own.

My head was beginning to feel light, the world around me growing into a hazy silent cloud. The ringing in my ears was still hitting the drums full force, silencing the sounds around me.

I had no idea if my section had scattered to safety, or if they were all doomed to call this their final resting place.

Jumping with surprise, a set of hands had grabbed me by the back of my collar. Twisting in a rage, I tried to fight for freedom.

I was watching the only security I knew, the wall of a deep tread tire,  fall faster and faster into the distance.

Rounding a corner, I made a feeble attempt to latch onto the disintegrating walls. The stone broke away, turning to rubble in my fingers.

Throwing my hands onto the wrists of my captor, I clawed and pulled, and dug my nails in deep. I didn't want to turn into a war trophy, a soldier that would be tortured and marred for information.

The unknown hands released, then reemerged around my thigh. Slicing away the soaked and charred fabric, the hands set tight around the shredded flesh that was once my supporter.

A stabbing pain ignited so deep it hit bone. A guttural scream tried to escape my mouth, but I bit down clenching my teeth.

Wiping the dust from my eyes, I let out a sigh of relief. It was another soldier.

Thank God. Oh, thank God.

***

S
he needs to know. Has to know about my savior. If Avni could hear what I had gone through, what someone else did to keep me alive...

Maybe then she'd understand why I needed to help her even more than before. There was no doubt in my mind, she was mine to save.

It was fate. It had to be fate.

There was no other explanation for me stumbling on her that night. Fate.

My life had a second chance, another opportunity to pay it forward. A life was granted in turn for another.

I wouldn't have been here to rescue her from the hands of a dirtbag like Vito if it wasn't my purpose. I was led to that street, led to the dark shadow of voices,
led to her.

And I was going to make sure he'd never hurt her, Avni had become the reason I lived.

But I haven't heard a word from her in over a week.

Had she gotten my letter? Did she read it and throw it in the trash, cursing my name to the devil?

But what I had to share was too important to say through some impersonal text message, or faceless voice through a speaker. I had to tell her in person.

I wanted to tell her before, but it just didn't seem to be the right time. Her mind was fucked up, she's been lost for so long. Wandering the world with a void that was eating her from the inside out.

It was important for her to start coping, start leaving the misery in the past and hold onto the good memories.

Only the good memories.

If she did that, then and only then, would she be able to let herself feel joy and pleasure again.

That girl was fucking stubborn though, and as much as her strength was beyond sexy and hot as hell, it was what held her back.

Avni couldn't... No, she wouldn't let herself be freed.

Free to mourn, free to laugh weightlessly, free to be happy; truly and endlessly happy.

I wanted to give her that, take away her pain and replace it with all the happiness I could give her. Every piece of me was ready to devour her, make her mine forever.

I was her freedom.

She was just so damn thick headed and defiant to what she was feeling, to what she wanted, to what she knew was riding her heart like a fucking roaring monsoon.

Tapping my chin, I debated just going to her house. If she wasn't going to come to me, then I was going to end this little stand-off.

I didn't want to be away from her, and the time that had passed was too long already.

She needed me to be there. I was her protection, her safety net, her rock.

Even if she didn't want to realize it.

Fuck that, if she won't see it on her own...

What if something happened?

My chest started to squeeze around my lungs, the air pressing up and out in one quick salvo.

The idea of Vito having laid a single finger on her, on my woman; it sent my brain into the snake pit.

I couldn't shake it, couldn't stop the fear and anger from filling my muscles. If he did anything to hurt her...

I'll kill him.

I wasn't waiting anymore, I had to make sure she was okay, and I was holding back something from her.

Something she needed to know.

Taking the short walk to her apartment, I stood at the bottom of her steps for much longer than I wanted to.

My plan had been to storm up her steps, slam my fist on her door and make her finally accept what was being thrown right in her face.

Me.

But as I stood there, a nervous twitch broke across my hand. My muscle started to spasm, finger working a tight beat across my jeans.

How is she going to take what I have to tell her?

Will she even believe me?

Pacing back and forth at the base of the steps, I kept glancing between her door and the ground. I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to drop the bombshell on her.

There was a strange fear resting in my stomach like a ball of knots. Twisting and turning and colliding with my insides, the massive ball turned my gut into hot soup.

What if this forces her away forever?

Shaking my head, I gripped my temples trying to force the feelings away. I was never nervous, or scared, or frightened about anything anymore.

After almost having my leg blown off and my head used as target practice by a terrorist sniper, what in the real world at home could compare?

But this, for some odd unknown reason, forced my nerves into overdrive, made my head rock with questions and uncertainty.

Telling her about what happened to me, how I was saved, it scared the shit out of me. And I didn't know why.

What is there to be afraid of? Don't be a pussy!

Deep down I knew, knew what was frightening me into being a statue at her doorstep.

It was fear of her thinking I only wanted to help her because of what happened to me. That I felt it was owed and that was the only reason why, the only thing holding me to my promise.

But it wasn't.

I wanted to help her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Frozen, terrified, trapped by three men threatening her with violence. I wasn't lying when I promised her I'd keep her safe.

After seeing her in the cemetery, it was then and only then, I knew fate had a hand in this. It was then I realized I was alive for her.

But I meant what I said, and I didn't do it just because I felt I needed to.

My life had been saved so I could be here to save her when she needed it. I couldn't deny the parallel, this was meant to be.

“What are you doing here?” The soft voice stroked my ears like a sweet song. A song I hadn't heard in what felt like ages.

Instantly I was calm, cooled.

Happy to finally hear her voice again after what seemed like eternity.

Never again.

Avni

D
id I really just answer the door so coldly?

I had spent days thinking about this man, and here he was. Then I go and answer the door with a dark and icy greeting.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

His face jerked up to meet mine, a wordless glare met my eyes. He didn't looked pissed or angry, he looked relieved.

Levi's shoulders tugged a hair higher, raising as if whatever weight had carried him down, suddenly rolled off his back.

Was he worried? Did he miss me too?

Stop it, Avni. You're thinking like a teenage girl awestruck by her admirer.

That's what this had to be, we slept together, but that didn't mean anything. We weren't suddenly chained together by ball and hitch.

Lust didn't mean love, sex didn't mean forever.

Clearing my throat, I opened the door wider. “You want to come in?”

Nodding, he shrugged his shoulders. “You sure?” His hand brushed the hair from his eyes, his bold blues hit me like sapphire spotlights.

My body shivered, heart skipping several beats as I stood there like a voiceless fool. Shoving my sudden heart attack to the side, I smiled. “Yes, come in.”

Waving him forward, I stepped back into the shade of my living room. Swallowing the peach sized lump growing in my throat, I wanted to yell I was sorry.

It had been so hard since losing my brother, and the littlest things seemed to throw me for a loop. I couldn't control it. I never knew when it was going to happen, or what would set it off.

But when it hit, it hit hard.

I was only trying to protect myself from all the evil that feeling for others possesses. I wasn't ready for it, and I honestly didn't know if I ever would be.

I knew he wanted more from this, and I knew I couldn't give it. But I also knew I didn't have to react the way I did. I had lost it... Again. I just really needed him to understand and respect where I was coming from.

Shutting the door behind him, T scrambled to his feet, readily rolling into position for a tummy scratch.

“Hey little man, I mean big dude.” Dropping to his haunches, Levi rubbed his belly. Lifting to his feet, he said the last thing I expected he would. “I'm sorry.”

I was shocked, dumbfounded, and aching instantly inside. He hadn't done anything wrong, I did.

Throwing my hand up, I stopped his apology immediately. “No, you don't need to be sorry. I'm the one who should apologize. I went off the deep end,
I'm sorry.
You had just protected me—”

Cutting me off, he snickered under his breath. “For a third time.”

“I thought we weren't going to keep tabs?” Snapping a hand to my hip, my lips couldn't stop from arching up.

For the first time in six days, I smiled.

“We're not, I just thought I'd make note of it is all.” Pushing out his lower lip, he waved his hand to brush the comment away. “But I'm sorry too, I shouldn't ask you for more than you're ready to give. You need time, I get that. I promised you I'd be here to help with Vito, and I'm a man who stands by his word.” Bridging the gap between us, he scooped my wrists in his hands, thumbs caressing my knuckles.

His touch, it's perfection.

The minute his fingers wrapped my slender wrists, my entire body was electrified. The charge rode my insides, buzzing from head to toe, zipping back up and hitting my gut.

His lips kept moving, the words washing over my spine and filling my ears, leaving me standing in a trance. “But I'm not leaving your side, Avni. I can't, not if I'm going to make sure you stay safe. I was so worried that Vito had gotten to you when I wasn't here to protect you.” The wrinkles across his forehead grew with worry and fear. “I'm just happy nothing happened to you. If—”

Pressing a finger to his lips, I hushed his thoughts. “Levi, I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen to me, I won't let it. Vito needs money and someway, somehow, I'll get it. Once he has that, then he'll be gone.”

Levi's stare grew hard, the crystal blue growing deeper in color. “You don't know that, he's a fucking creep, Avni. You don't know what that shitbag will do. But that's why I'm here, that's why I'm not letting you out of my sight. There's something you need to know and I can't keep it from you any longer.”

My lungs froze, his face holding such poise and animation at the same moment. I waited, waited to hear whatever was sitting on his soul.

I had never seen him so serious, not even that night on the street had his face held such a sober expression.

“Avni, when I was in Afghan—”

A knock on the door threw his thought back into his throat. The door cracked open, my mom peeked her head inside warily. “Avni, Honey, are you alright?”

Stumbling backward, I stood quick and awkwardly, shoving my hands into my back pockets.

She stepped inside, eyes thin and suspiciously looking over Levi. “Avni, who's this?” A smaller figure squeezed in behind her; my sister.

Her copper hair curled over her shoulders, fingers wildly turning a small sparkling bottle.

Livie's eyes shifted around my small apartment, fixing on what seemed like every object for a brief moment.

Spinning the bottle, she held it to a single beam of sun filtering in through the open door. The purple liquid lit up around the white walls, peppering them in tiny rainbows and sparkling dots.

Tapping my mom on her elbow, Liv pointed at the walls, smiling brightly.

“Yes, Liv, it's very pretty.” Her hands moved in a fluent motion, dancing in my sister's face, never removing the glare from Levi.
What is she doing here?
“Avni, care to introduce us to your friend?” A delicate smile set on her lips, crinkles forming against the corners as she bounced her eyes between us.

“Sure, why not.” Standing tall, I held my sides with purpose. “Mom, this is Levi. Levi, this is my mom, Sara, and my little sister Livie.”

Immediately he stuck out his hand, firmly shaking my mother's like he was in an important business meeting. “Hello, it's nice to meet you, Ma'am.” Stiffening his back, Levi stood tall, hands tucked snug behind his back as he released his determined grip from my mother's palm.

It almost seemed like a natural instinct, the way his spine went taut. It reminded me of Kevin when he first came home from basic training.

He did the same things as Levi, he stood as tall as he could, as if wishing his bones would magically grow with the stance. His head always stayed straight as an arrow, in line with the rest of his body.