My Secret Garden (Women Sexual Fantasies) (40 page)

permanent old lady and get to have him every Thursday, for which I shall be handsomely rewarded. The boys are very surprised by this because the big boss never turns on to chicks, and they even stop to remind me that I am just about the luckiest girl in the world.

Aside from this variation, there are other things that occasionally swim into the scene. Sometimes he likes me enough to avoid entering me because his cock is so enormous as to have actually been rejected by many, many ladies, and he feels a little nervous about the possibility of hurting such a sweetie-pie as myself. I reassure him a lot and tell him it’s perfectly dandy if he wants to enter me before I come because I can handle it.

(I-am-a-champ sort of thing.) He’s usually reluctant, but tells me that he will try it out first after I have come and am relaxed and wet enough to accommodate him, but that maybe next Thursday if we find it comfortable the first time … again this gives me the excuse I need to bring myself off with my hand and not introduce objects of unimportance into my vagina.

Anyway … this gangster guy is my friend and he would never hurt me but he hurts lots of other people ‘cuz he’s really a killer meanie. But … I am a nice chick and nobody would want to spoil such an adorable number as me. He used to be called "Joe," but sometimes now he is called by the name of whatever current 308

lover is absent from my own scene and whose memory I am trying to call up.

I have had three gangster lovers in my real life, and all of them have been excellent lovers and fallen quite nicely into my preformed image of what a good gangster should be, i.e., they might be murderers on the outside but they would never hurt me.

I never have bothered to tell any of them about this fantasy because they have all acted the part so well without a script.

I have gone off gangsters recently in both real and fantasy life, and have entered a period of recalling another fantasy which blows my mind sufficiently during times of extreme stress to enable me to have orgasms with myself: I imagine there are ten or twelve men in a sort of amphitheater who are being taught how to make a girl have orgasms. They all have to listen carefully to the nice man who is in charge of the lesson and who is showing them how to get girls to like them better. I get to be screwed by the one of these callow types (after I have come) who pleases me the most and whose cock is the hardest.

Boy, this really sounds stupider on paper than it ever does in my head, but I guess that’s what fantasies are all about. Aside from the two fantasies I have mentioned, I have the eternal doctor-examiner, gynecological, freak-out number, and the very occasional recourse to horse or dog trips. In the main, though, doctors and horses I can do without. Generally speaking, it does not interest me much to carry out my fantasies in real life, as mostly when I have tried it has been a disappointment; morally and socially I can’t go hanging around with gangsters all my life.

[Letter]

Jocelyn

My fantasies have always concerned animals and nothing else.

Ever since I was a teenager, the sight of dogs copulating or a 309

horse in a field with his penis hanging down has excited me tremendously.

I am now divorced but have a lover, and most times when we make love I imagine it is the penis of a large dog or horse that is entering me, or a dog licking me and hordes of dogs all screwing madly. This really turns me on. I don’t know why this should be or why it is only dogs and horses. My lover knows about this and likes to talk about it, but he does not understand either. While we are making love he says, "Don’t you wish I were a large Alsatian or that this was a stallion’s penis between your legs?"

When visiting a friend some time ago, his very large German Wolfhound was sitting beside me on the sofa when the pink tip of his penis began to appear, and this excited me so much I had to leave immediately. I dreamed about this dog for weeks afterwards.

I have never owned a dog, and much as I would like to I would be afraid of what might happen if I did get one. I am sure I would not be able to leave it alone, so I prefer to stick to my fantasies, which I really enjoy, and so I shall never buy a dog.

Another fantasy which I have, but which does not turn me on so much as the animal one, concerns a colored girl. My lover talks to me as he is stimulating me, asking me to imagine he is a young, slim, black girl and she is licking me, or that I am licking her and her creamy juices are pouring into my mouth. Although I have never had any homosexual experiences, I once saw a picture in a magazine of two girls, one white and one black, stimulating each other. Again, it was the little pink tip of the black girl’s clitoris which got me excited, and it is this that I think about when I fantasize about a colored girl. [Letter]

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SHARING FANTASIES

A sexual fantasy shared with an accepting, encouraging lover. What can I add? Like sex itself, it’s more fun for two.

Lynn

My fantasies during sex usually involve one or more men; whatever we are doing, there is invariably a group of people present, watching. In both fantasy and real life, I am an exhibitionist. I enjoy having men look at the crotch of my trousers, swim suit, or pantyhose. My husband knows of my fantasies, and encourages them. He also knows of my masturbation, which he considers heightens my sexuality. During masturbation, my fantasies are usually exhibitionistic. Before I was married I did have occasional lesbian fantasies, but no longer do.

If in real life I sit with my legs apart to show my crotch, in my fantasy it changes so that I’m wearing just a mini-dress with nothing on underneath, and sitting wide-legged so that I show my genitals. My husband is very understanding about my needs and encourages and helps me in my fantasies. I give him a better time this way. For instance, he will kiss and suck my genitals for an extended time so that I can fantasize about other men without any vocal interruption from him. When I am ready, I will indicate to him and he will move up and put his penis in. He will say, "Have you been fucked today?" and I will say, "Yes, three men fucked me at the office," and he will ask me if I showed my cunt on the way to the office, and I will tell him I sat in the train with my legs apart so the men could see. It’s a game we play together and both get a big kick out of this.

Here is my favorite fantasy:

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It is evening. We are going to a party and I am in the bedroom dressing. I put on a sling bra, then a short tunic dress, and nothing else but shoes (I have a beautiful tan). I stand in front of the mirror raising my arms so that my dress lifts well above my cunt. We arrive at the party, where there are about six couples, all handsome or beautiful, the men with tight trousers, the girls are all fully dressed as far as their tits and crotches are concerned. I sit down and enjoy knowing the men are looking up my skirt. I stand up and bend over to pick up something from the floor. I feel hands on my hips. I stay as I am and feel a great penis go into me. I do not look around and he carries on until he has finished.

Then another man takes me and lays me on the settee and fucks me. They all take turns in different positions while the others watch. But none of the other couples have sex. Eventually we leave. It is a warm evening and we walk along with my husband’s arm around my waist. This pulls my skirt up enough so that men passing can see my cunt. We come to a grassy patch beside the road and I pull my husband down to the ground so that he is on his back. I take his penis in my mouth and then mount him and we fuck in full view of the passersby. If I had been fucking with my husband while having this fantasy we would now have reached the point where I would be telling him of what was happening in my fantasy an that he was the man doing it so that we could work up to wonderful finish. [Letter]

Jacqueline

It has taken me some time to write to you, even after consulting my husband, Who had been in favor of my doing so since we first read your letter. The reason for my not making up my mind earlier was because of the results of my fantasies, and not so much because I practiced them. Whether you will find them surprising or shocking only you, of course can say.

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I am forty-two and have been married for twenty-five years, and have four children now grown up. Our sex life was, we think, reasonably satisfactory, except that I thought, for a long time, that something was missing, and that it was often rather humdrum.

About a year ago my husband apparently guessed this –probably from my attitude at times to sex, and also (and far more likely, I think) because he came to realize more and more that he could not give me enough to satisfy me. He had asked me often if he did have enough for me, and usually I said that he had – partly because I did not want to make him feel inadequate, and also, in retrospect, I am sure that I knew once I really started thinking of another man giving me more, that it would so obviously show in my reactions that my husband would notice, and might take serious exceptions to another man fucking me, even if it was only in my imagination. But one night, when he was trying to fuck me himself, he suddenly said that was not of much use, and that I had become far too large for him to manage; that he could put what he had right into me without me feeling it and that what I now wanted was a man who was able to give me a thicker penis.

I amazed myself with my reaction to this, and he obviously felt it, because he then proceeded to talk to me about it, and we had the most wonderful fuck. I admitted to him that I had often imagined. other men on top of me, and I even let him know which men I had imagined doing it. He became very worked up over my fantasies, and started going through our acquaintances, noting my variations in reactions as he mentioned their names.

He knew I had a soft spot for at least two of them – his cousin and my sister’s ex-husband – and we both reached a fantastic climax together, both imagining that I was being fucked by his cousin. He even made me call him by his cousin’s name.

Having experienced this, we then of course practiced it more and more, and after about two weeks, during which time he had fucked me more than ever before, we were in bed one Sunday afternoon, which was about a week before we were going away 313

on a holiday with his cousin and wife. This afternoon my husband was taking no precautions, as he normally did; he wanted to put it in bare, and he told me why once he had it in: this time he told me that when we were on our holiday he wanted it to be what he termed "a holiday of fucking," now that he had discovered how much nicer everything was, and that he wanted me to let his cousin fuck me if the opportunity arose. His idea being that if he put his cock into me bare, it would be reasonable, should I do as he suggested and let his cousin also fuck me, that if I became pregnant I could say that the baby was my husband’s.

He wanted me to agree to this and also to expose myself to his cousin, so I could find out what another man could do for me.

Being miles away from home, he said, no one would know, and if I liked it, then there would be ample opportunity to enjoy it to the full, and as often as I wanted to.

By this time, of course, I was so worked up that I held him close to me with my legs around his back and for the first time in years I felt his come shoot right into me, as I promised to try what he had suggested. During that week before we went away, he rode me several times each night, and as I took his come every time, he could not say that if I was pregnant that it was not his.

He made certain that I was well-shaven before we went on our holiday, and now I began to really feel like my husband did; I was far more ready to wear even shorter skirts and no panties, and found no difficulty in doing this once we got to Italy. We experimented to find out how I could expose myself without being too blatant, even though I knew in my heart that his cousin would not need much encouragement. We found it was easy for me to show what I had – bearing in mind that my cunny was absolutely bare, and that my slit would show clearly – and as soon as I found his cousin taking more interest and more liberties with me than ever, it was not long before we could slip away to our room and I was able to find out what another man was like.

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The experience was something out of this world, and far better and easier than I had imagined. I also found that there are men with tools that can still open a woman, even after they have had several children, and I would have been content to have lain there for hours, watching myself being opened and really fucked.

Although he was quite a lot bigger than my husband, it was not just this that gave me great satisfaction, it was the variation, and the different ways we did it – mostly with me lifted on pillows, but also often from the rear – a position I had not thought I liked, nor often indulged in. But with this man it took on a different meaning.

The history is that during that holiday I enjoyed both these men regularly and to such an extent that I was probably fucked more during those two weeks than in any year previously. My husband also enjoyed every moment, and what was surprising to me, even though he suggested it, was how much he liked to talk about it – to talk about me having had his cousin, and the fact that another tool had been in between my lips added spice, so that I had to promise him to continue our experiment. My sister’s ex-husband was now brought into it, and I had to promise that I would take him if he showed interest after we got back home.

Since he had parted from my sister he had lived alone in his house, and my husband now suggested that we ask him to come live with us. We invited him after we got home from Italy, and he was put in a bedroom through which we had to go to reach ours; it was proposed by my husband that if things worked out, he would go on to bed earlier, and that I could then go to bed with my brother-in-law on the way to our own room. My husband could then enter me, immediately after I had taken my brother-in-law.

This also turned out as we had thought it might, but in this instance I really found out why my brother-in-law had parted from my sister. He was large enough to put off most women, particularly those who had not had children, as my sister had not, 315