My Savage Heart (The MacQuaid Brothers) (29 page)

“Why won’t you ever talk to me about this?” Mary, dressed in a shift and bodice that seemed made for someone larger, came forward. She grasped Caroline’s hands. “You’ve been wonderful to me. You’ve taken care of us. Done all the work and listened when I poured out my heart to you about Logan. Even telling you the secrets I can barely admit to myself. Yet you won’t let me help you at all.”

“Mary.” Caroline grasped her cold hands, trying to press some of her warmth into them. “There is nothing you can do.”

“I can listen, Caroline. ’Tis what friends do for one another.”

“’Tis nothing to tell.” Caroline forced the lie through her lips, then reached out when Mary turned away. “Please don’t be angry.”

“I’m not.” Mary moved haltingly toward the hook where her skirts hung. “’Tis just that there is something when he looks at you. And when you look at him...”

She shook her head, leaving the rest unsaid, and for that Caroline was grateful. For she didn’t want to deny the undeniable. And lying was becoming too easy.

Yet she thought of the child nestled deep inside her and knew the untruths would continue. And escalate.

“Mary.” Caroline stood clutching the saddlebag’s leather straps until her friend looked around. Her excited expression dimmed with Caroline’s next words. “I don’t want you to mention to Wolf that I’m in the family way.”

“Why? I should think he would be pleased to know.”

Though she doubted Mary’s assessment, even if the question of the baby’s conception didn’t spring immediately to his mind, Caroline nodded. “You are right. But I’m still not completely sure I am with child, you know. And I’d just rather wait a bit to tell anyone else.”

“Of course, I shall respect your wishes, Caroline.” Mary tied the tabs of her skirts. “I am your friend... always.”

By late morning, the four of them were on their way. Mary rode sidesaddle on the only horse that survived the Indian raid, her child wrapped to the front of her body Cherokee style with a long shawl. She looked tired with shadows beneath her grey eyes, but her spirits seemed high. Caroline chose to walk behind, leading the horse Wolf brought. Wolf, himself on foot, was at the head of their unlikely procession, his long rifle cradled in his arms, his posture alert.

The trail they took was the one on which Wolf and she had traveled on her way to Seven Pines... was it only months before? So much about her life had changed since then. But Caroline tried not to dwell on that as she plodded along listening for anything that might mean... What? An Indian attack? Wolf hadn’t said so, but she imagined that’s why he scouted a bit ahead, peering into the woods on either side of the trail.

But she heard nothing, save the call of a hawk and the occasional rustling of a fox or rabbit in the underbrush. When they stopped by the bend of a stream to rest, Caroline stood back as Wolf helped mother and child from the saddle. Mary smiled at him wanly when he settled her on a carpet of moss, leaning her back against the burly bark of an oak tree. Colleen fussed irritably until Mary managed to bring her to her breast.

Caroline watched her friend a moment then followed Wolf downstream where he’d taken the horses to water them. “Are you certain this trip is necessary? Mary doesn’t look well, at all.”

Wolf glanced over his shoulder at Caroline, then through the web of leafless saplings that separated them from Mary. His dark brows lowered. “We will be at the fort by this time tomorrow. Then she can rest.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Caroline wished she could deal with him in a reasonable way, but anger seemed to seep into her words whenever they spoke. She wondered if the anger wasn’t her way of dealing with the hurt she felt. Or the desire that still strummed through her whenever he looked at her. She was a foolish woman to want him after what he’d done. Foolish. Foolish, she told herself, as he settled his obsidian gaze on her.

“I would not risk any of you, if I did not think it necessary.”

She should accept his word and return to Mary, Caroline knew that. Yet she didn’t, continuing to sting him with her doubts. “Wouldn’t you?”

His eyes narrowed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Only that I find it difficult to trust you,” Caroline said before turning her back on him so he couldn’t see she lied. For as ridiculous as it was, she did trust him. Not with her heart of course, but to keep her safe from bodily harm.

She didn’t expect his hand on her shoulder, so she wasn’t prepared for the flame of desire that shot through her.

“What do you wish from me, Caroline? An apology?”

“For what?” She glanced back over her shoulder and realized her mistake immediately. She had no resistance where he was concerned.

He studied her with his dark eyes a moment before shaking his head. “You surprise me. I’d thought you more honest than that.”

“I wonder what you know or care about honesty.”

“Because I used you.”

Now that he’d said it... admitted it... Caroline wished he hadn’t. She turned away only to be caught by his strong hands and twisted back to face him.

“Is that why you don’t trust me, Caroline?”

“Yes! Isn’t that a good enough reason to distrust you... even to hate you?” Caroline said the last in as quiet a tone as she could, hoping Mary couldn’t hear her. But she was so agitated, her breasts rose and fell with each breath.

His gaze slipped down to where her bosom curved above the ruffle of her shift, then slowly resought her face. Her cheeks were crimson, and her blue eyes sparked with anger, but still he held her shoulders, refusing to let her loose when she would have pulled away.

Though she knew it was useless, Caroline jerked again. “How dare you look at me like that!”

“I think we both know I dare that and more.” Without thinking of the consequences, only knowing he had to kiss her, Wolf’s face bent to capture her lips. She fought him, squirming in his grip, and doing her best to keep her mouth shut. But Wolf could be patient when there was something he wanted. And he wanted Caroline. Her smell, her taste had haunted him since he last held her.

His tongue teased, his teeth nibbled, and he pulled her closer into his embrace. She must have realized that all her wriggling only heightened his desire for she stopped suddenly, holding herself stiff as a planed board. But even that did not deter him, and slowly but surely he felt the thawing of her body.

His hands curled around her back and followed the lines of boning down to her rounded hips, then back up. And all the while, he grew harder and harder. When her mouth opened on a sigh, he filled it quickly, completely, with his tongue. Her hands, that had hung limply by her side, grabbed hold of his arms then snaked around his neck, holding on as he deepened the kiss. As he ignited them both with wild, untamed passion.

When they separated, it took them both a moment to calm their breathing. Their eyes met and hers skittered down. With his thumb Wolf lifted her rounded chin, forcing her to confront him as surely as he’d forced her to kiss him.

She didn’t seem pleased by either.

“Are you happy now?” she asked, her voice husky with the passion that still bound them from chest to hip.

Not knowing how to answer such a question, Wolf said nothing, only rested his chin upon the crown of her head. Soft tendrils of clean-smelling hair teased at his jaw. But her next words had him pulling back and studying her upturned face.

“You’ve proven to both of us, yet again, how difficult it is for me to resist you. Even knowing what I do about you—how you used me to punish your father—I still can’t turn away. ’Tis a shame I shall live with forever.”

His hands tightened on her shoulders, and he held her at arm’s length. “There is no shame in feeling desire.”

“Then why do I spend so much time regretting what I’ve done?”

His hands dropped from her shoulders.

“Please, leave me alone. ’Tis all I ask of you.”

Before he could answer, she turned and slipped through the underbrush. Wolf watched as she knelt beside Mary who had fallen asleep along with her child. Caroline reached out her hand and brushed her fingers across the sleeping woman’s cheek, gently awakening her. And Wolf’s loins tightened. Just watching her made him want her.

And Caroline was right, he’d proven to her... to both of them... that she wanted him, too. But what good did it do? She hated him. And with good reason. Wolf shook his head wondering what in the hell he was trying to prove by that kiss.

He seemed to take her at her word, and for that Caroline was grateful. By the time they reached Fort Prince George, she and Wolf barely spoke, and only then when necessity required it.

If Mary noticed the hostility between them, she said nothing. But then she seemed to grow weaker by the hour. When they finally stood on the hillside looking down on the fort, Caroline felt a surge of relief.

Inside the log walls the fort seemed ready to burst. Word of the governor’s actions had spread through the frontier and many of the settlers had come to the same conclusion as Wolf. The Cherokee would not sit peacefully by and allow their Headmen to be held against their will.

Families camped within the shadow of the fort, their children ran about playing tag and chasing dogs. Across the river in Keowee, Cherokee children did the same, as everyone awaited some word as to what would happen.

Caroline was thankful that Wolf secured them lodging in the fort at the cabin of a Mistress Quinn.

“He pounded on my door near dawn two days ago,” Mistress Quinn said, “Beggin’ me to save a place for you. Then he left without so much as a bite to eat.”

“I’m grateful for a place to stay. And so is Mary.” Caroline walked the floor, holding Colleen to her chest and rocking her softly as she moved. She didn’t like to think that she had Wolf to thank for it.

“Wolf said you had a hard time of it,” the elderly woman said as she leaned back in her rocking chair.

Pausing, Caroline met the woman’s eyes, wondering exactly what Wolf told her. Mistress Quinn didn’t leave her in suspense for long.

“Nasty business,” she said with a click of her tongue. “I’d hoped the Cherokee were different from the other heathens. I come down from Pennsylvania, don’t you know, with my husband Edgar. The Shawnee, now they was an untrustworthy lot. But I thought the Cherokee was different,” she repeated.

“How do you mean, different?” Colleen had quieted, her dark blue eyes closed in sleep and Caroline lowered her into a basket she and Mistress Quinn had lined with batting.

“You know.” The women ran a hand down across her sagging jaw. “Like us.”

“Honest and trustworthy?” Apparently Mistress Quinn didn’t notice the sarcasm in Caroline’s tone for a snaggletoothed grin split her wrinkled face.

“Exactly.” She leaned forward in her chair, peering toward the basket. “Is the little one asleep then?”

“Yes, like her mother.” Caroline couldn’t dislike the woman, regardless of her narrow-minded views on the Cherokee. Caroline would probably feel the same if she hadn’t lived so closely with Sadayi and Walini... if Wolf hadn’t explained the intricacies of the Cherokee’s treaty with the English.

There she was, thinking of him again. Caroline decided to peel potatoes for the evening meal. Anything to keep busy. She glanced back when Mistress Quinn spoke again.

“I’m thinkin’ she has the setbacks.”

“The what?” Caroline joined the older woman where she now stood looking down at the baby, who seemed even smaller lying in the basket.

“She ain’t gainin’ like she should. Looks to me like she’s losin’ weight.”

Caroline touched the baby’s fuzzy head with the tip of her finger and wished she could argue with Mistress Quinn’s opinion.

A sennight passed. Anticipation grew. Caroline could feel it in the air like the chill that blew down from the mountain passes. Word came that the governor and the militia were on their way, along with the Cherokee Headmen. It was also an ill-kept secret that the English would be attacked when they forded the creek below Keowee.

Wolf was gone. He’d done no more than see Mary and her to safety before taking his leave. Caroline assumed he went to the Cherokee towns... the ones he would have visited when he came to Seven Pines for Mary and her instead. She thought often of how he looked when he’d told her that. How a savage fire seemed to burn in his eyes.

And she wondered what he said to the elders and to the young men who longed to prove their bravery as warriors. Did he convince anyone that peace was the only answer?

But as great as the magnitude of the troubles that surrounded her, Caroline still worried about Mary and her baby the most. Neither were strong, and the sojourn at the fort with its crowded conditions seemed to make them worse.

She thought about taking them home. Commandeering the horse that they brought and somehow getting Mary and Colleen back to Seven Pines. But the rumors that filled the fort, drifting in the air like the smoke from countless campfires frightened her and kept her from doing anything rash.

The days grew shorter, colder. Then one morning when Caroline dressed, hurrying to keep the gooseflesh at bay, she noted a slight swelling where before she’d been flat. She doubted anyone else would notice, especially under the flare of her skirts, but it eliminated the last vestiges of doubt about her condition. Oddly enough, she felt stronger knowing for certain.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she nearly missed hearing the commotion outside. It wasn’t till Mistress Quinn called up to the loft where Caroline slept that she paid the noise any heed.

“They’ve come at last,” she called.

Caroline finished dressing quickly then scrambled down the ladder to see Mary had bundled up the baby and along with Mistress Quinn stood waiting for her.

“We thought it might be interesting to go watch them arrive,” Mary said, as she transferred the baby from one shoulder to another.

All three women jolted when the first cannon fired. “It ain’t nothing but a salute,” the older woman assured them as they walked through the open gates. Across the Keowee River, Caroline could see Cherokee, apparently as curious as she, watching the long line of red-clad soldiers snake their way along the flats surrounding the fort.”