My Royal Pain Quest (The Lakeland Knight series, #2) (2 page)

I threw myself at him again. When I struck, he met my sword with his. It felt like I hit solid rock, and my blade broke in half.

“Well? What are you going to do now?”

I did not have that many options, but I’ve always been known for inventiveness. Better do
something
than give up, that’s my motto. So, having frantically looked around and seeing no suitable weapon, I jerked off my left boot and hurled it at the gormack.

Foolish, I know. I caught the look of insulted surprise on the spirit’s face… In the next moment the boot lit up with green and knocked Ragnar over.

I stared. What in the world?... Those were regular boots, as far as I knew.

“Good throw,” came Ellar’s voice from behind my back as his hand clapped my shoulder. The green sparkling looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.

Ragnar was back on his feet, and he was furious.

“It’s your doing, not his!” he yelled at Ellar, clutching the sword. “You sent your power!”

The sparkling’s grin widened. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I might have reinforced the blow, but it was his hand that threw it. That’s how it will go down in history, I’m afraid.”

Ragnar fumed, his glow darkened to bluish-black. I thought he’d tear us both to pieces.

“You will pay for this, Ellar of Ravaron!”

Ellar gave a slight nod. “I am at your service, as soon as I return to our realm. Now, leave.”

The gormack obeyed. Either he was too humiliated, or perhaps there were certain rules about fighting in the physical world, but he gave us one last glare and disappeared.

Ellar turned to me, chuckling. “I don’t know how you came up with the idea, but it was brilliant. News of this kind travels fast in the realm of spirits. Getting whacked by a boot, by a human! That will teach him a good lesson.”

“And put me on top of his hit list, I suppose?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks a bunch. A ticked off gormack is all I need.”

Ellar arched a brow. “Hey, aren’t you glad I showed up?”

I was. I did not want to think how it would have ended without his interference.

“Your timing was good, I admit.” I picked up the boot and put it back on. “Have a seat, Ellar, I need to talk to you. And stop glowing, would you? There are already all kinds of ridiculous rumors about my castle—that I’ve got ghosts here, and ghouls, and I don’t know what else.”

“Isn’t that the kind of reputation a villain would want?” Ellar quipped, sitting down. His light did fade away though. “All right, all right, no need to frown. What did you want to talk about?”

I told him what I’d just read.

“Is that true? Can I restore Jarvi’s strength if I do these three deeds?”

The sparkling shook his head. “I have not heard about anything like that. If I knew it was possible, I would have told you right away, back when it all happened.”

“Yes, I remember what you said. So you think it’s just a fairy tale?”

“Very likely, but, on the other hand, my knowledge is limited. There are many things I am not aware of, and some fairy tales do contain grains of truth.”

“Now you make it sound like there might be a chance.”

Ellar shrugged. “All I’m saying is, I don’t know. You can try if you want, but you must realize that there’s no guarantee.”

“Nice.” I took a walk to the window and back, thinking. “What about your king, Faradin? Can you ask him about this?”

“I can,” Ellar nodded. “I’ll do it right now if you wish.”

“Go ahead.”

He lit up with green light and vanished. I waited, much longer than I thought it would take. From what I remembered, sparklings’ trips to the spiritual realm and back took only about a second.

When Ellar finally returned, his expression was serious and impenetrable. I couldn’t tell whether he brought good or bad news.

“Well?”

“Faradin is silent.”

I didn’t get it.

“You mean, he does not know either?”

Ellar gave a condescending smile. “Unlike me, Faradin knows everything. But he has not answered your question. You must decide by yourself whether it is worth trying or not.”

Now, that was beyond frustrating.

“Well, if it’s just a story,
of course
it is not worth doing! I mean, we’re not talking about taking a stroll here, we’re talking about going on a long quest, and I wouldn’t even know what to look for since the book does not say what those deeds are. Why should I waste time and effort if it’s not going to work?”

Ellar shrugged. “Nobody says you should. Nobody asks it of you.”

“Oh, that’s just great!” Unable to contain myself, I started pacing around the bedchamber.
 
“Nobody’s asking me, sure. I can just forget the whole thing and do nothing. Just keep fighting off heroes, villains and now gormacks. Keep seeing Jarvi like this every day.” I halted and turned to the sparkling. “Well, you know that I can’t just forget it! I won’t be able to stop wondering whether it would have worked! And Faradin knows it, too!”

Ellar said nothing. He just watched me, standing still in the middle of the room, waiting for my outburst to end. What could he say, anyway? He was just a messenger.

“Fine.” I sat down on the bed. “Fine, I’ll do it. Jarvi, give me your sword.”

Ellar stepped up to me. “Do you mean it?”

“No, just kidding! Of course I mean it, why do you question me? I don’t know what these stupid deeds are, and I’ll probably ruin my reputation doing them, but the way I see it, I don’t have that much of a choice. Will you look after Jarvi while I am gone?”

The sparkling shook his head. “I have told you before, I can’t stay in the physical world very long. Take him to Ulkaria. King Osmund knows who he is, and he will be happy to watch over him for you.”

I didn’t like the idea.

“That means I’ll have to pose as the Lakeland Knight again.”

“You’re worried about your reputation, this would be a perfect solution. Do it as the Lakeland Knight, not Lord Arkus.”

“Well… I suppose you are right.” I looked at Jarvi. His sword was not there. “Jarvi? You hear me, don’t you? Give me your sword, I’ll try to cleanse it through this whole charade.”

Nothing happened.

“I think he does not want you to risk your life,” Ellar said. “You do realize it is going to be very dangerous?”

“I kind of thought valiant deeds included some danger, yes. Come on, Jarvi, don’t make it even more complicated. Just give me the sword.”

“Let me talk to him.”

Ellar leaned over and whispered into Jarvi’s ear. I don’t know what he said, but in a few moments the thin orange sword appeared at Jarvi’s side. I remembered it in its full shining glory, and I remembered how the glow faded. It was still very dim, barely noticeable.

I took the sword and sheathed it; since I’d just broken mine, the empty scabbard was waiting. Just like the last time, the blade fit right in, quickly adjusting to the size.

“Well, I guess I’ve got to start packing.”

***

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My journey to Ulkaria was not very pleasant. I couldn’t believe I was going back, I thought it was over and I’d never hear the ridiculous nickname of Lakeland Knight again. Yet there I was, heading right into it. It was going to be even worse this time, with these three valiant deeds I had to accomplish.

“I bet you are happy now,” I grumbled at Jarvi, who lay by my side in the carriage. “You got me into this hero business again. Well, don’t get your hopes up. As soon as it’s over, it will be over—for good!”

I did not want them to go all crazy about their beloved Lakeland Knight coming back, so I traveled in a plain carriage, wearing a hooded cloak. I managed to make it all the way to the royal palace unrecognized. There, however, I had to remove the hood to gain access.

The guards instantly lost their severity.

“Sir Lakeland Knight!!”

“Yes, the one and only. Go tell your king that I’m here—him and no one else.”

King Osmund came running from the dining hall, as I could tell by the napkin still tucked behind his collar.

“My dear friend!” he exclaimed, grabbing and shaking my hand. “Come in, come in! What a wonderful surprise… Still, why didn’t you write? I would have prepared a much better welcome! We’d have a feast! And a ball!”

Exactly. That’s what I was afraid of.

“That would be unnecessary, Your Majesty. Your sincere joy is the best welcome.”

“You will not refuse to dine with us, I hope?” the king went on, leading me inside. “The queen will be delighted to see you, and so will my daughter and son! We were so saddened by your unexpected departure… I’m sure you had your reasons, and I make no reproach, but it was quite a shock, for everyone.”

“I apologize for leaving so suddenly and without notice,” I answered. “As Your Majesty says, I did have my reasons. May I request a private audience before I have the pleasure of seeing the royal family? I have a big favor to ask of you.”

“Anything, my dear Lakeland Knight. Whatever it is, consider it done.”

We stepped into the king’s study. I told him what I was getting myself into. Just like Ellar predicted, King Osmund gladly agreed to look after Jarvi, thanking me for the honor and praising my bravery to high heaven.

“How noble of you to undertake this!” he raved. “Not even knowing whether completing these deeds would help! This is so like you, my dear knight! I can’t wait to tell the queen, and everyone else… but I suspect you would wish to keep the endeavor secret?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I will be much obliged if it stays between you and me.” I looked at his miserable expression and sighed. “Very well, between me and the royal family.”

That made him happy again.

“Thank you, my friend! It would have been torturous to keep it from my wife and children. Now, don’t you worry about a thing, your sparkling will be in good hands. Is there anything else I can do to help? Any tools or supplies you need?”

Yeah, how about a magic wand to have it over with?

That’s not what I said, of course. However, I did hope that King Osmund could offer some assistance.

“Perhaps Your Majesty can suggest something for me to begin my quest with. Is there any trouble in the land?”

He thought for a few moments and shook his head.

“Ulkaria is peaceful as ever, even more than before—the power of your name still guards us, no one dares to make mischief. So I’m afraid there are no valiant deeds for you here.”

Darn. Was I ever going to start making progress?

“Nothing at all?”

The king spread his hands. “I’m sorry. Even the gang of highwaymen that used to cause trouble up north disappeared… Oh, wait a minute!” He brightened up. “I’ve got an idea. You need to talk to Triar, the wise hermit. Of course! He always knows what’s going on, he can advise you.”

“A hermit?” I was skeptical. “How can he possibly know what’s happening in the world?”

“He has his ways of gathering information. Believe me, he is the best! He’ll tell you who needs help, where, and of what kind. He might even know what exactly these valiant deeds are!”

Well, it sounded like this fellow was worth checking out.

“Where does he live?”

“Up in the Sarwean mountains. You’ll need to hire a guide to lead you to his house, it is not easy to find. Now, Triar is not the friendliest man. He doesn’t help everyone, but I think I can take care of that. He owes me a favor.”

The king walked to his desk and picked up a carved wooden box.

“Here, take this,” he said, taking out a golden medallion shaped like a shield, with a crown neatly engraved in the middle. “Triar made this for me. Give it to him, and tell him that I personally ask him to help you. There is no other medallion like it, so the hermit will know you speak the truth.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” I took the gift. “This is very helpful.”

“I’d do more for you if I could. Well, let us go to the dining hall, I bet they are all dying of curiosity, wondering what’s going on—I ran off without saying a word when the messenger told me you were here. Let’s go surprise them! The queen and the princess will be overjoyed, and Philip—he’ll probably jump and dance when he sees you!”

I had no doubt that Prince Philip would be happy to see me, but it did not make facing him any easier. He was the only person in Ulkaria who knew my true identity. He’d promised to keep it secret, and I was certain he’d kept his word. Nevertheless, I couldn’t begin to think how I would explain things if he ever asked me to.

Before agreeing to dine, I carried Jarvi inside and made sure he would be well guarded, placing him into a room next to the king’s own quarters. King Osmund was right, my appearance before the royal family was a big hit. Not only Philip, everyone jumped from their seat, and it took quite a while to calm them down enough to continue the dinner. The queen wished to know where I had been and what I’d been doing these several months (as if I was ever going to tell her); Princess Litinia wanted to cancel her upcoming trip to Mellenburg, and Philip—Philip acted as if nothing had happened. The boy looked at me with the same sincere admiration, smiling and clinging to every word I said. When the king shared about three valiant deeds, the prince’s eyes lit up, and he showered me with questions, pretty much taking over the conversation.

“Now, Philip,” King Osmund said, laughing, “while I certainly understand your fascination with Sir Lakeland Knight, you can’t have him all to yourself. You must share with the rest of us.”

But Philip wasn’t going to share. When the dinner was over, he begged me to go with him to the fencing hall.

“I now have a sword as well!” he said. “And I exercise three days a week to learn how to wield it. The swordmaster says I am pretty good, but I want you to see and tell me whether it’s true!”

I looked at his father. The monarch laughed again, shaking his head.

“Oh, very well, go. He won’t leave you alone, anyway.”

It was very tempting to ignore the subject and accept Philip’s “let’s-pretend-nothing-has-changed” attitude, but I knew I had to address it. As soon as we were alone, I turned to the boy and looked him straight in the eye.

“Prince Philip. You know who I am.”

He looked back in his disarming open manner and brushed a lock of dark hair off his face.

“I sure do. You are Lakeland Knight, our hero and protector, and my dearest friend who saved my life.”

So he insisted on avoiding it. Well, I wasn’t going to go for that. It was time to face the truth.

“I am Lord Arkus of
Blackriver
Castle
, quite a prominent member of the Villains League. Granted, I have not done any serious business lately, but the fact remains.”

He didn’t bat an eye.

“If it’s true, I don’t care, because what I said is true as well. Did you not save my life risking yours? Did you not protect our land and help our people? Did you not save my sister?”

Yeah, only my original plan was to kidnap her. He didn’t know that; nobody did—that is, nobody human—and for some reason I did not feel inclined to share that bit of info. But the rest was true, I had to admit.

I looked at the prince, not knowing what to say.

“Listen.” He stepped up to me. “I see that this whole thing is not easy to grasp, and not easy to talk about. You probably don’t understand it yourself very well, how it all happened. So let’s just forget it and be friends. I hope you don’t mind being friends with me?”

“Of course I don’t mind, if you still wish it…” I paused, not finding words again. “I want you to know one thing, Philip: I never tried to pose as a hero with ill intent. I did not mean to deceive you in any way.”

“I know that. Here, let’s shake hands and never speak of it again.”

I took his hand. The issue was far from settled; the truth could come out at any time, reach King Osmund, and who knows what would happen then. But for the moment, we were good.

Philip smiled, changing the subject. “There is something I want to ask of you.”

“Uh-oh, I suspect I know what it is.”

“Please take me with you on this quest!”

“Yes, that’s what I thought. I can’t, Philip.”

“Please, please,
please!
I can be of help. I really am getting good with the sword!”

“Your father will never agree, and he would be right. I don’t even know where I am going, how long it will take, and what I will have to face. I do know though that it will be dangerous.”

“I fear no danger!”

“I know. I saw your bravery when we were dealing with Shabriak, not many grownup men would have shown the courage you did. Nevertheless, I can’t take you with me, Prince Philip. I must do it by myself. The whole thing might not work if I get help.”

The boy sighed. “I suppose you’re right,” he muttered, frowning. “Very well.”

“Don’t be so upset.”

“Easy for you to say. I’ll die of boredom here in the palace, all alone, with everyone leaving. You’re going on the quest, my sister is about to leave to Mellenburg, and my mother is thinking about visiting our cousin Auren.”

I was about to say that the king was not going anywhere, but something clinked behind the cracked door to the fencing hall, distracting us both.

“What was that?”

Philip walked to the door and looked out to the corridor. I followed. We did not see anyone, but the bronze chandelier on the small table lay on its side.

“Someone was eavesdropping!” Philip turned to me and grinned. “I bet it’s Madame Clementina! She must have found out that you are here, and if you think she’s gotten over her crush on you, you’re wrong!”

At that point, I’d rather prefer it was Clementina. It would be better than Ragnar. Ellar had told me that Jarvi and I were going to be protected from the gormack during my mission, so he would not be able to harm either one of us directly—but that did not stop him from following, watching, and plotting. He was not going to leave me alone, that’s for sure.

***

I made it to the Sarwean mountains in two weeks. I traveled on horseback, Prince Philip insisted that I take Onyx, his stallion. The area was heavily wooded and sparsely populated; I saw no towns or castles, only a small village here and there. Several villages were scattered at the foot of the mountains as well. I entered the largest one and headed to the tavern, easily identifiable by a wooden sign featuring a bottle and a steaming frying pan.

There was quite a crowd out front, mostly men, standing in a circle. As I rode closer, I saw that they gathered around a splendid white stallion who angrily pawed the ground. The animal was tied to a pole, with a rope long enough to allow some prancing and kicking, and he did both as soon as anyone ventured to come a bit too close.

“Well? No one else wants to try for a golden coin?” asked a short bald fellow, the only one who stood within the stallion’s reach, obviously the proud owner. “A nice, round, heavy golden coin. A copper to play, gold to win. Stay in the saddle as I count to ten, and it’s yours.”

The crowd murmured, but nobody volunteered. I checked the stallion again. Yes, it was one fierce horse. Strong, muscular, with the wild look in his eye that said he was still being broken. I probably could handle him, but I doubted that it would count as one of my valiant deeds, and I wasn’t interested in anything else. So I dismounted, tied Onyx, and went to the tavern door.

“What, nobody’s got the guts?” the fellow teased. “Ha, ha, I’m not surprised! I guess I’ll keep my gold to myself, then.”

“I’ll do it,” said a woman’s voice.

The crowd murmured louder. I halted and turned to look.

The slender dark-haired young lady who stepped forward wore a wide black skirt that was actually a large piece of fabric tied around her waist, a sleeveless leather jacket over a red shirt, and a kerchief on her head, pirate-style. A curved blade on her belt and two daggers would have suited a pirate as well.

“You?”
The fellow regarded her and grinned. “If you manage to get in that saddle, I’ll give you two golden coins, not just one.”