My Only Regret (Twisted Fate Book 1) (7 page)

“
Can I interest you in something to drink? Water, beer, or wine?"
He asked, taking my coat and hanging it up.
 

“
Wine sounds nice. Thank you.
”
I replied, doing my best to keep my voice calm. I interlaced my fingers to keep them from fidgeting and walked over to the fireplace to look at the assortment of photos displayed along the mantel.

“
Please, make yourself comfortable,
”
he repeated, and headed to the bar to pour a glass of wine and grab a beer for himself. I tentatively sat on the corner of the plush sofa and straightened my shirt. I felt a bead of sweat trickling down my back and took a few calming breaths, holding the last one in. When he turned back toward me I smiled and blew it out. As he made his way over to the sofa, I moistened my increasingly dry lips and blurted out the first thing that popped into my woozy head.

 
“You have a beautiful home,” I was so nervous. I prayed that he wouldn't see right through me, but something told me that he knew me better than I knew myself.

“Thank you. I love it here. The first time I walked in I felt inspired and I knew it was the one for me,” he replied, eyes flicking briefly over the room before settling back on me. “
Rhyann, that
’
s an unusual name for such a beautiful woman.
”
His voice was husky, and I immediately found myself slipping back to that night in his arms.
There's no way this can work.
I cringed, inwardly.

I took a small sip of wine and my mouth was instantly filled with the wonderful, crisp liquid.
“Um, this is very nice.
I was named after my grandfather. My mother said that after I was born he held me and I looked up and smiled my first smile. After that there was no question of what they should name me. We were close up until he passed away a few years ago.
”

“
I
’
m sorry. I was close to my grandfather also, in fact, he was the one who taught me how to play the guitar. He taught my brother to play as well.
”
He smiled and stared deeply into my eyes for a long moment before he softly cleared his throat and spoke again.
“
Well, thank you for coming to meet with me. When Nate told me I needed to hire an assistant I knew right away who I wanted.
”

"After all this time, you thought of me?" I laughed, exasperated by the thought. There had been reports all over the Internet about how he went from one woman to the next, never staying with one for longer than two months. Apparently, his partying and sexual indiscretions were what had put him in the position of needing an assistant in the first place. Now, after bedding countless women, and touring all over the world, when he needed to get his shit together I was the one that came to mind? For some reason, I found that hard to believe.

He shrugged his shoulders and gave me a smile the held none of the swagger I had seen in the tabloids. This smile was one I remembered from the struggling musician I had known briefly. The one smile that, when offered, had taken my breath away back then. Now, that same smile made me feel as if this moment was the first time I had breathed fully since I'd walked out his door.
“I saw you last week, in town. You were coming out of the grocery store, your hands were full of bags, and one broke. It was pouring rain and I watched as you crawled around on the sidewalk, retrieving your groceries. I wanted so badly to run to you and help you, but I couldn't bring myself to walk across that street." I sat quietly, watching as he told me the story of my humiliating day. The day I felt as if no one cared and I was alone. Here he was, the one I had been longing for, and he's telling me that he wasn't a decent enough human being to help me in my time of need. Maybe he wasn't the man I'd made him out to be after all. "You looked so sad that day. I looked at you and didn't see one glimpse of the confident woman I remembered.
I guess I just wanted to give a beautiful woman her smile back.
”
 

"So, you took pity on me? I looked sad to you? Well, I have to hand it to you, you were correct. I was sad. I've been out of work for nearly two months and can't seem to catch a break. That day, in the rain, I'd just been told that I wasn't good enough for a job at a fucking insurance agency. I'd locked my keys in my car and had to walk home, eight blocks, in my most uncomfortable high heels. Then, on top of everything else that had gone shitty that day, I stopped for a bottle of my favorite wine and it ended up crashing to the pavement. Now, I sit here and listen as you tell me that you witnessed my struggle and couldn't even bring yourself to help me. Well, thanks for the offer
Mr. Montgomery
, but there's no way in hell I can bring myself to work for someone like you." I threw my shoulders back and stood to leave. Screw the money. I had my pride.

"I'll pay you five thousand a month if you agree to stay." His voice sounds desperate, and I stop dead in my tracks, flattening my back to the wall. That amount of money was a lot to turn down when you've been out of work and living off a meager savings. "Please Rhyann, if I don't turn things around I'm going to screw this up for the band. I know this is a lot to ask of you, and I'm pretty sure you're pissed at me for not calling you, but I don't know where else to turn." He came towards me and placed his arms on either side of my shoulders. My breathing hitched in my throat, and my legs began to feel weak at the close proximity of his hard body to mine. Surely, he must know what being this close does to me, but he doesn't relent, he just keeps pleading his case. "Give me a chance. Three months to prove that I can be a decent guy and we can work together." Then, he says the magic words every girl longs to hear, the same words I've heard him whisper over and over in my dreams. "I need you."

Once again, I held my breath, listening to the internal battle between my heart and my head. I knew what staying would do to me. I knew how my body responded to being in his presence. I also knew what it felt like to be without him, and here he was offering me the chance to get close to him once more. I looked into his eyes one more time and knew the decision had already been made two years ago. No matter how much I questioned my sanity, I would stay.
 

"First, let me just say that I'm not pissed at you. When I left that note it was only to thank you. I guess I did secretly hope that you would have looked me up, maybe chase me down and sweep me off my feet, but I knew the score when I agreed to go home with you that night. You told me that you'd make me forget my own name, but you never warned me that I wouldn't be able to forget you." I whispered. He shifted closer and closed his eyes as he listened to me pour out my heart. "I want to help you, but I'm not sure I can move in here and not have feelings for you."

"Rhyann, you're a beautiful, smart, sexy woman, and I know that I am a fucking idiot for saying this, but it could never work between us. I'm no good for you. I don't know how to treat a woman the way you need to be treated. I know it's selfish of me to want you to be here and not offer that to you, but you have to trust me when I say that I would only hurt you."

My heart hammered in my chest as I studied the way he interacted with me. He seemed different, almost remorseful, and my gaze shifted to his as I interpreted what his eyes were conveying. Before, when we'd met, his eyes had told me how much he wanted me, today the sexual innuendo was gone, but they practically begged me to give him another chance. I put on the bravest face I could summon and presented my conditions.

"I know I'm a fool for even considering this, but I’ll agree to work for you provided that we keep it strictly professional. I know we can never undo what happened between us, but I’m willing to put that aside if you are. I agree, you’re not the man for me, and I’m okay with that. I’ll give you three months. After that, if it’s not working out, I'll walk away and forget all about you."

He brought a hand to my face and stroked a finger over my cheek, and God help me but I couldn’t help leaning into his touch. I knew I was playing with fire by being here, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, but where the moth is smart enough to not get too close, I was throwing myself smack dab in the middle of the fire. I wasn't afraid of getting burned, he’d already branded me and probably didn’t even know it. I was more afraid of finding out that the fire I'd felt for him, and held onto for two years, was now nothing more than a flicker that never should have ignited in the first place.

CHAPTER FIVE

"Great, it’s settled then. You can move in tonight. I’ll send some guys over to help with your things if you’d like. Until then, I
’
m hungry. Do you have plans for dinner, Rhyann?
” He clapped his hands together and looked over at me, waiting for an answer. It took me a moment to collect myself. I couldn’t believe I had just agreed to this. Who was I kidding? I could barely stand this close to him for a few minutes. How on earth was I going to live with him twenty-four hours a day and not fall apart? I knew I should turn around and get the hell out of here while I still had my dignity intact, but God help me
I loved the way my name sounded as it rolled off his tongue.

“
Not really, no.
”
Was this really happening? Did I just agree to eat a meal with him in public? My legs wobbled slightly, and I prayed that he wouldn’t hear my knees knocking together.

“
Let me take you to this amazing Chinese restaurant I know, they have the best sticky garlic chicken, and their dumplings are so good they practically explode in your mouth,
”
he said, innocently licking his lips and smiling. Did he have any idea how incredibly erotic the words sticky and explode sounded coming from his mouth? Did he even know the images those words brought to mind? Probably not.

As we left the house and made our way to his car, I felt the tips of his fingers brush over the small of my back as he guided me along. I kept my gaze forward as he started the car and we sat in awkward silence until I finally spoke up.

“
I’m unclear what this position actually entails. Nate wasn’t specific when he described the duties, he said it would vary based on your needs.
He indicated you were looking for someone to help you get organized and manage your social calendar.
”
I cleared my throat slightly and glanced over at him, determined not to let his good looks intimidate me. I
’
m not going to lie, it wasn’t easy. He looked at me for a brief moment and began to laugh a hearty belly laugh that caught me off guard. What had I said that was so funny? When he was finally able to regain his composure he made eye contact and grinned widely. Holy shit! He had not one, but two, panty melting dimples, on either side of his perfectly formed mouth. I found it difficult to tear my eyes away from his full lips. Maybe now would be a good time to try that passing out idea I had earlier.
 

Just keep reminding yourself that he doesn’t want you.

“
So basically he told you that I need someone to help me manage my overactive sex life. I’m sorry about that Rhyann,
”
he chuckled, continuing to be amused by my statement. I wasn’t entirely amused, but I was still swooning over those dimples, and I loved the way he kept saying my name.
“
I can assure you that I am in need of someone to help me manage far more than my busy sex life, and, for the record, I would never ask you to do something like that. I respect you too much.” He gave me an intense look before turning back to face the road. “I’m looking for someone to help me get my shit together. I’ll be completely honest and tell you that my actions of late have been a little out of control. Nate told me that if I didn’t pull my shit together and stop giving the press something to write about, they wouldn’t renew our contract. I can’t let the guys down like that. I need someone to help me get my priorities straight. I need an assistant to coordinate meetings and interviews, but also to help me stay focused. We
’
re at a down time right now, but we’re keeping busy putting together a new album and will be spending a lot of time in the studio. We’re working on plans to tour later this year, and I'll need someone to join me on the road.
”

By this time we’d arrived at the restaurant and had just gotten settled at our table. Jesse placed an order right away then leaned his elbows on the table.
I took a sip of water and met his gaze over the rim of my glass. He held my gaze, then closed his eyes and sighed. In that moment I realized I wasn’t the only one affected by spending this much time together. I cleared my throat and rested my chin on the palm of my hand.
 

“I’m curious why you chose to stay in Seattle? I thought famous people preferred the hustle and bustle of New York or L.A.”

He sat back in his chair with his hands clasped behind his head. I watched as his tongue played against the inside of his cheek and couldn’t help but feel envious of his cheek. I silently willed myself to snap out of it. “That’s a good question. We lived in L.A. for a year, but once the tour ended I needed a break from the whole scene. I know that the media portrays me as a rockstar who loves nothing more than a wild party and a different woman every night, but in reality I prefer quiet nights at home.” He watched me with great interest before continuing. “When we need to go back to L.A. the studio rents a house for us and we are usually there for three months. I like it here. Seattle is my home.”
 

I was sure my face must have been giving away all of my secrets because listening to him talk about enjoying quiet nights at home warmed me from head to toe. “I totally get that. I love quiet nights at home too. My ideal evening consists of a cozy fire, a good book, and a soft blanket.” My mind drifted as I imagined myself in his living room, watching the flames as they danced in the fireplace. I lifted my eyes and found him staring at me, as if waiting for me to finish my thought. “Sorry, I let my mind wander for a moment.”