My Only - Alex & Jamie (23 page)

“Have you checked your messages?” Alex asked, tilting his head in concern.

She closed her eyes in frustration. The only day Jamie had ever forgotten her phone was the
one
day Hazel had needed to get a hold of her. Great! Looks like she only had herself to blame for this too. The only reason she had absentmindedly left her phone at home was because she had been so scatter-brained over Alex and his ridiculously insane kiss. Boy, I've really been batting a thousand lately, she thought to herself as she stalked into her room and grabbed her phone.

As she walked back to the front room she saw that she hadn’t missed any calls and she only had one text. It was from Alex, explaining that Hazel had called him about Joey’s nebulizer and when he got here, she had asked him to stay. He also asked if that was okay with her or if she would be more comfortable if he called Chelle or one of his cousins to come over.

“Mommy, is Aunt Hazel and Alex in trouble?” Joey asked, his voice sounding a little worried.

She put on her brightest smile as she shook her head, “No way, Jose. I was just worried about Aunt Hazel, that’s all.”

“Okay,” he said happily grabbing his bucket of toys, “I’m gonna go wash my hands for dinner.”

When she heard the door to the bathroom shut she turned to Alex, “I got your text, thanks.”

He still looked concerned, “Are you okay? When you walked in you looked like you’d seen a ghost.”

She barked out a laugh, “That’s a good way to describe it.”

His brow furrowed and he started to say, “Jamie, if…”

“I used soap and everything,” Joey announced as he held his little hands up for inspection, “See smell.”

Jamie felt herself start to relax. Joey was fine. He didn’t seemed even the slightest bit traumatized.

“Good job! Why don’t you go set the table, little man.”

“Can Alex help me?” Joey asked.

Jamie looked up at Alex who looked like he was waiting for her to give him the thumbs up, “You can ask Alex nicely if he would like to help you.”

“Alex would you like to help me, please?”

Jamie smiled when she saw her son employ the ‘prayer hands.’

“Sure thing, little man,” Alex said as he mussed Joey’s hair.

As the boys made their way into the kitchen she let them know she was going to change out of her work clothes and wash up for dinner.

As she closed the door to her room she tried to decide what she felt about this turn of events. Her reaction to seeing Alex here with Joey had not been good, but she knew she had issues from her past and she didn’t want to punish Alex for those.

I mean, hey - the poor guy comes over to help when her aunt calls. Then he stays to watch her son. Then he texts her to make sure that she knows what’s going on. Then he offers to have someone else stay with her son if she was uncomfortable with him staying!

Jamie wished at times like this that there was a life guide that could tell her what the right path to take was and that it would definitively answer all of the questions she was asking herself, because she kept coming up with pros and cons on both sides.

Is it good that Joey was spending time with Alex?

Yes, in the sense that Alex was a responsible, good man and Joey
did
need male role models in his life. The only thing that had concerned her when she had made her ten year plan was that Joey would need someone with testosterone around to set a good example. She didn’t know the first thing about raising a man.

But then there was the flip side to that argument. That, no, it was not a good thing for Joey and Alex to be spending time together. Inevitably, Joey would get really attached to Alex. And as amazing and supportive as Alex had been to her these past few weeks, Jamie knew that once he was back at work, back in his routine, things would change. Alex, by all accounts, had had a very busy social life before his accident and she was sure he was itching to get back to it. So what was she going to tell Joey when he was asking why Alex didn’t come over anymore, and if they could see Alex today?

That didn’t even
touch
on how Jamie fit into all this. Because, if she was being honest with herself, before her mini panic attack, when she had walked into the house and was greeted by the sight of Joey and Alex sitting on the floor with toys spread out around them...it had felt
right
. It had felt like everything was exactly as it should be.

Jamie shook her head. She didn’t have time to figure this out now. Tonight, Alex was here. At her house. Having dinner with her and Joey for the second time this week. That was happening right now. So, what the hell. She figured she might as well enjoy it.

Alex and Jamie walked to the front room after they read to Joey, who had only lasted only one page tonight.

“He had a rough night last night. I figured it would be a three-or-less page night,” Jamie said as she moved to the couch, yawning.

Alex hadn’t noticed the dark circles under Jamie’s eyes until now. “That means that
you
had a rough night, too.”

“Oh, I’m fine. I got a full hour of sleep.” She smiled weakly then, sighing, and asked, “So what was wrong with Joey’s nebulizer?”

“Nothing,” Alex said with a small, rueful smile. Shaking his head, he continued, “As soon as I got here, she told me that when she hung up with me she noticed it wasn’t plugged in.”

“What?” Jamie asked, tilting her head.

“Yep, then she put the lasagna in the oven, said her back hurt, asked if I could stay, and was out the door.”

Eyes narrowed, Jamie picked up her phone, “Why didn’t she just call me?”

Alex couldn’t get over how cute Jamie was, trying to piece this whole thing together. She would probably be a lot more successful if she had gotten more than an hour of sleep the night before.

“I don’t think that was part of her master plan.” Alex shrugged, feeling a little bad for pointing that out. He didn’t want to throw Hazel under the bus.

I mean, hey, he had gotten to hang out with Joey and have a pretty good talk with little man. Then, he had gotten to have dinner with Joey and Jamie, and now he was sitting a foot away from the girl he was madly in love with. Hazel’s plan had worked out
perfectly
for him.

“Oh,” Jamie said, laughing as she quickly came up to speed, “So this was just another matchmaking attempt.”

Another? Alex thought. How many other people is Hazel trying to set Jamie up with? And who in the hell were they?

“I really need to talk to her,” Jamie continued, clearly unaware of the fact that Alex's mind was currently reeling from her last statement. “Even though I know her heart's in the right place, she can’t use Joey when she is playing cupid.”

“Who else is she trying to set you up with?” Alex tried to temper his tone. But he felt oddly…betrayed. He had always thought Hazel had liked him. Hell, tonight he had even thought she was firmly Team Alex.

The corners of Jamie’s mouth twitched, “No one.”

“But you said ‘another matchmaking attempt.’” he quickly pointed out.

Now her mouth lifted into a full smile, “I was talking about her wanting me to get a job at The Grill instead of Gerard’s because she said that’s where all the young guys seemed to go. And then, I can’t prove it but, I have a feeling that she was somehow involved in me ‘overseeing your home health care.’”

Alex lifted his brow, “Really? I thought that one was all Vickey.”

“Maybe, but I’m not ruling Hazel out as an accomplice.” She shrugged, “Anyway, I wasn’t just talking about her. People trying to set me up is a recurring theme in my life. It’s become exhausting.”

Alex didn’t like hearing that people were continually trying to set Jamie up. In fact, it made him want to ‘spit nails’ as the Colonel would say. Still, he didn’t think that him being pissed off was really going to make Jamie’s day any easier, and from what he could tell she had had a tough one.

So, instead of growling at her that he never wanted anyone to attempt to set her up again - which was something that she absolutely had zero control over - he thought he would try taking a different approach.

“You know what would make people stop trying to set you up?” he asked seriously.

She leaned in, appearing to be all ears, “What?”

“If you and I were dating,” he told her.

She threw a pillow at him, “Alex, I was being serious.”

“So was I,” he said sincerely. Hell, he was one hundred percent serious. She must have sensed it because she didn’t try to throw another pillow at him.

She smiled sweetly, then inhaling through her nose, began, “Okay, there are several things wrong with that plan. First, I don’t date. Second, I don’t need you agreeing to date me just to try and save me from the big bad matchmakers. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. And third, from what I hear, you’re not a big ‘monogamy’ guy, so I don’t think dating me would be the best thing for your social life. But I do appreciate the offer.”

Alex knew most guys would not be happy with the reasons that she had just laid out before him. But he wasn’t most guys. And all that, sounded to him like she had just opened up a dialog. And
that
, he could definitely work with.

“Alright,” he said amiably, “let’s start with number one. You don’t date. I know it’s because of Joey, but what specifically are you worried about?”

Jamie didn’t answer him. She just stared at him with a blank expression on her face. He waited patiently. He was getting better at it. It was like they said, practice makes perfect.

“Are you being serious?” she finally asked.

“Yes,” he answered honestly.

“Why do you care so much?” she asked sincerely.

He knew she wasn’t ready to hear the whole truth. He knew there was no way she would believe him if he told her that he cared because he wanted to marry her, and he didn’t think that she would agree to that without (at least) a few dates first. So he went with another equally true, equally valid reason.

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Look, from what you’ve said, it sounds like even as a kid, you really didn’t have anyone to talk to. You know, to ask for advice or to help you work through problems. And it doesn’t really seem like you have that person now. So I just thought maybe you could use a sounding board.”

She bit the inside of her lip. He knew that meant she was considering what he had said. “Fine. But not because I really believe that’s the only reason you’re asking!”

He just smiled. Jamie obviously had his number and he was more than okay with that.

“Before, when you said it looked like I had seen a ghost, well...I kind of had, in a way. Growing up, my mom had a lot of boyfriends. From one week to the next I never knew who my new 'dad' was going to be. Some of them completely ignored me. Which was fine, actually. That was actually my preferred mode of interaction...you know, or lack thereof. Some of them were pretty mean. That was OK, too. It just meant I was happier when they were gone.”

She took a deep breath, “But the worst ones were the ones that were nice and actually acted how I imagined a 'dad' would act. They would tell me that they loved me and that they would always be there for me. Then they would get in a fight with my mom and they would be gone. In an instant. I would never see or hear from them again. It just made me feel, I don't
know. Like I didn’t matter. Like I wasn’t important. Like I was...disposable. I just never wanted Joey to feel like I did when that would happen.”

Alex closed his eyes and raked his hands through his hair, “And then you walked in on me telling Joey…”

“No, Alex, stop,” Jamie interrupted, “You didn’t know. You were just trying to be nice. I know you would have never said that unless you were trying to help.”

They sat silently for a few minutes. Alex was just trying to process what she had just told him. He looked at her and had no idea how anyone could make her feel like that. He wanted to kill everyone who had.

“Why did you say what you did to Joey?” Jamie finally asked.

“Well, that kind of leads us to your number two reason.” He could see by her face that she had no idea what he was talking about. He felt a little bad telling her what Joey had said. But if he was a parent he would want to know.

“You said that the second reason was that you can take care of yourself. Well, Joey told me that you’re really good of taking care of other people but he’s worried that you don’t have anyone to take care of you.”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” she said defensively.

Alex really did not want her to take this the wrong way, “Joey told me that before you moved here, you were sick and he didn’t know how to take care of you.”

“I just had...I mean, it was just the flu!” She shook her head as if it didn’t make any sense to her.

“I know, but he felt like he should be taking care of you and he didn’t know how. You are that kid's whole world. I think he was just scared.”

She just sat there staring at the floor, “I just wish he wouldn’t think about things like that. I wish I could just protect him from feeling like that.”