My Naughty Little Secret (11 page)

“Please, can we leave it until you get back? I want tonight. Please, Shiv…”

I felt my heart was going to break in two. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good if he was so scared of telling me. He looked really torn; the furrows between his eyebrows were like deep ridges. I wanted to be able to soothe his fears, but if he wouldn’t tell me what the trouble was, how was I to help? I soothed him in the only way I knew I would get through to him for now. I led him through to the bedroom and slowly and tantalisingly started to remove my clothes item by item, shimmying and making a pathetic attempt at belly-dancing. I over-exaggerated every movement until it was almost farcical. Finally he rewarded me with a grin.

“Siobhan Brennan, I love you.”

Flaming Norah, did I just hear the L word? Crap, I was so not ready to deal with that one, not with all this shit hanging over us. Panic mode, fire alarms ringing in my head. I couldn’t think, what the hell was I supposed to say? Duh, yeah, I know I was supposed to say it back, but I couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. I hadn’t begun to allow myself to think like that. I was still waiting for him to leave me, remember.

“No, you love the sex,” I teased, undressing him.

“I love you and the sex,” he corrected.

Awkward silence. I was standing there naked and there was this gaping hole, waiting to be filled with my words. And I couldn’t do it. I felt like a complete heel, but I couldn’t say it just because he had.

“Michael, it’s only been a couple of months, it’s a bit soon to talk about love. You’re back to stalking.”

“I know how I feel. I don’t want to lose you. Promise me next week you’ll at least give me a chance; don’t just fly off the handle.”

“Fuck it, what’s so bad that I’ll want to leave, and if you’re not going to tell me tonight, will you just shut up about it. I can’t stand this.”

Thankfully the bad language was enough to distract him and he chased me round the room and gave me a good stinger on my already bare behind, lightening the mood. I fought him off and he lifted me up and threw me on the bed, climbing on top of me. Squealing with laughter, I raised my two legs and kicked him off with all my might. And the surfing meant I was strong. We scuffled for a bit, both really getting excited by the fight. The more I resisted, the more determined he became, until he eventually overpowered me and pinned my arms with his hands. He roughly spread my legs with his. He cock was hard as hell and he looked at me waiting for the nod, which I quickly gave. He was inside before I could blink, making me moan with ecstasy. His cock slipped in incredibly easily, no resistance.

“Harder,” I taunted. “Show me what you’ve got.”

“Fuck, Shiv, when you say that, I really want to show you, I want to show you here,” he warned ominously, touching my anus with his finger. I shivered with fear and semi-arousal. It was so dirty it was exciting.

Needless to say, he did show me, but not there! It was all wet and soft and the movement was silky smooth. It felt different to usual. He thrust with all his might, keeping me pinned in place. Now that was bloody good. I couldn’t resist or edge away. He was in charge and there was no doubting it.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” he grunted.

My body cried out “more, more” and he was happy to oblige its silent call by hammering in hard and fast. I felt myself convulse into the most amazing climax, unlike any I’d ever had. The shuddering of my muscles caused Michael to lose control and I could feel the hot wet spurt of his semen inside. Then he panicked.

“
Fuck
, I forgot a fucking condom,
shit.
When’s your period due?”

His face was absolutely horror-struck.

“No wonder it felt so good. I thought it was different, but I didn’t know why ‘til you came.” I giggled.

“SIOBHAN,” he shouted. “This is fucking serious.”

“Oh, take a chill pill, I’m on the pill. You don’t think I was relying on condoms ‘til now. They’re only about ninety-eight percent safe and I reckon we’ve had sex more than ninety-eight times so our luck was going to run out. I had to do something.”

“Christ, thank God. Wait a minute, why didn’t you tell me?”

Oh, um, red face time. Why didn’t I tell him? Because I liked the security of the double contraception? Because I was afraid he’d had more women than hot dinners and I was afraid I’d catch something? Because it hadn’t been an issue until now? Or maybe even just because. I don’t know.

“Um, because I liked using condoms too,” I admitted.

“Fuck it, I don’t believe it, first time I’ve ever had sex without a condom and I was too carried away to glory in it,” he laughed.

“Me too. No wonder we both came so quickly,” I agreed.

Ok, so that was a good start, his first bareback ride, and mine too, I thought. Maybe we could consider ditching them. Another thing we needed to talk about when I got back, if we survived the family thing.

Needless to say before the night was out, we tried it again, this time both of us savouring the sensation. For me the feeling was indescribable; there was no latex catching against my flesh, or even worse occasionally my pubes. The moisture from his dick really added to the easy entry. Heaven. Definitely the way to go. On the down side, Michael found it harder to keep control and had to fight the urge to come too quickly. He said the soft wetness seemed to suck him in and make him over-excited. I didn’t doubt we would soon find our new bareback rhythm.

It was late next morning when we woke. Usually when I stayed with Michael, we staggered our departure but we both just stuffed some cereal into our mouths and ran out the door together. As we approached the steps, I realised what we’d done. Balls! I didn’t think anyone had seen us so I tried not to make a big deal of it. I didn’t want to leave on a row. As we got in the lift, we were alone. He kissed me very quickly.

“Have a safe trip; don’t forget to come home to me.” He brushed my cheek with his fingertips just as the doors opened. Crikey, Michael just called it home. And we were in the corridor so I couldn’t even comment. I just mouthed, “See ya later.”

I was taking a half day, going to Ruislip to collect my stuff and heading for Heathrow airport. I would be home in Easkey by seven p.m. and I was excited. It was the longest I’d gone without a trip home since I’d arrived in London. I was having withdrawal symptoms. The need for the sea air, the sound of the local accent, fresh fish, and a family fix totally engulfed me.

Before I left, Michael dialled my extension and asked me to come to his office. I shut the door as I entered. There on his desk was a small little teddy bear with a big bow.

“For you to cuddle in Ireland, so you don’t miss me too much,” he said, grinning.

Yet again, he amazed me. I realised I was a fair way to being in love myself, if I could only admit it. But my most immediate concern was how to smuggle the teddy out without it been seen and I allowed that distraction to absorb me.

Chapter Ten

Arriving at the small airport in Sligo, I was delighted to be met by both my parents. I hadn’t been home in what seemed like an eternity. Mam kissed me in her usual motherly way, standing on her tiptoes to reach me. She was one of the few people I knew that was smaller than me! Dad, a big hulk of a man, swept me up into a big bear hug.

“It’s great to see you both,” I enthused.

“And you, love, you’re looking really well. London’s agreeing with you,” Mam observed.

“Good to see you,” agreed my more taciturn dad. “When are you going back?”

“Heck, Dad, every time I come home, that’s the first question you ask. I’m beginning to think I should stay away longer,” I laughed. It’s a good job I wasn’t too sensitive. I knew he didn’t mean it that way, but still…

“Donal, will you let her get her foot in the door first,” my mother scolded.

“Sorry, Shiv, I’m turning into my old man. That was always the first question he asked me too,” Dad grinned apologetically.

“Have you eaten?” my mother asked almost accusingly. Even if I had, I wouldn’t dare say so.

“No, I’m starved, what’s for dinner?” I knew the answer; it was Friday, that meant fish. To tell the truth, that was really why I hadn’t eaten, that sea-fresh fish. I heard my phone jingle the text sound, but I didn’t want to appear rude so I ignored it for now.

“Fish, spuds, and whatever veg the girls manage to prepare.” I stifled my giggle at how predictable she was. It was hard at times to remember that she had once lived a life similar to mine in London. Now she was such a …well, such a mammy!

“So how’s the new man?” she asked in her lovely subtle as a bang from a hammer way. She obviously heard the text too. I hadn’t told them much, just that I was seeing someone from work.

“Mmm, he’s ok…” I wasn’t ready to share just yet, not until next week was over. I was spared having to elucidate as we were pulling into our drive. The front door was open before I had even gotten out of the car. Dad carried in my weekend bag and in my haste to see everyone, I left my handbag on the floor of the car.

“Ash, Keeva, great to see you,” I gushed.

“Like the suit, Shiv, can I borrow it?” Aislinn asked as soon as I got through the door. Aislinn was into clothes, acting, and all things artsy-fartsy. She drove Dad nuts; she had no regard for academics and at eighteen she was in her final year at school with the state exams coming up in June. She spent all her spare time involved in the Sligo Hawks Well Theatre, either acting or as a stage hand. Keeva at sixteen-and-a-half was way more steady and driven. Already she was putting in more study hours than Ash.

“Is Niall home yet?” I asked. He was studying computer science in Galway University, a couple of hours away.

“Bus’ll be here in half an hour,” mini-mammy Keeva informed me. “Dinner’s timed for then, hope you can wait.”

Granny and Granddad arrived, the half-hour passed all too quickly, and Niall was home before I could blink. We sat down to a very noisy family dinner with everyone talking at once. It was great to be home!

At half past ten, Dad suggested a quick trip to the local, a three-minute drive away. The biting October sea breeze and the salt smell of the ocean hit me as I climbed into the car, all the more vibrant after leaving the lull of the fragrant turf fire. The car hadn’t even had the chance to warm up before we had arrived in the door of the once-thriving little pub. The Celtic Tiger, the name given to the recent economic boom, had lost its roar, and we were back in the middle of a major recession, meaning that most of the young people had moved on, not having found jobs in Ireland. There was a depressed chatter amongst the older generation and the strained sounds of one or two pathetic fiddlers and a tin whistler under the false illusion that they were entertaining people with traditional music. Traditional cat calling more like! I cringed at the scraping of the bows on the strings.

There were still a few people around my age there, in spite of the most recent brain drain, the mass exodus of qualified and skilled youngsters to rosier climes. I gave up trying to talk to my family and gave into the social occasion. Some of my surfing friends were filling me in on the surf, some of my school friends were telling me who had gotten engaged, gotten married, or had kids. Other friends were keeping me up to date on the seriously dilapidated social scene. My head was dizzy trying to hold it all together.

I was delighted when Pauric came and rescued me from the melee. He must have noticed I was getting stressed. We had been friends for years and he knew me almost as well as I knew myself. We had been known to enjoy the occasional romantic moment, but nothing had ever come of it; we knew each other too well and I suppose we didn’t want to lose each other over a silly failed romance. His arm was around my waist and he was dragging me into a quiet corner before I had even said hello to him.

“Pardon me, ladies,” he excused himself with his infamous charm, “but you have commandeered enough of this delightful lady’s attention and now it’s my turn.” The few single girls still in Easkey were simpering at him; the paired-off ones hid it well, but some of them were almost as bad. Many a dagger was coming my way, but I was used to that where he was concerned. All down the years Pauric’s girlfriends had tried to split our friendship up, but somehow, he never allowed that to happen.

“My hero as always,” I teased.

“I aim to please, m’lady,” he said with a bow and an impish grin. “How’re you keepin’?”

“Great, thanks, but I can’t believe how few of the old crowd are still around. How’re you doing?”

“Ah, Vonnie, all the better for seeing you. You wouldn’t believe how many have moved on, and too far away to come home; the States, Canada, and Australia all beckon with their promises of work and dollars, so there’s not many of us left. I’m a dying breed. At least the ones like you in England come home often.”

I could hear the sadness in his voice. His world, hell, what had once been our world was collapsing at his feet and he was there to see it all. I don’t know how long we were catching up, but Dad came over to say it was home time. Pauric offered to drop me off. We were catching up and neither of us was in any hurry to end it, as we didn’t get to see each other that often. I chose to wait with Pauric. I noticed Dad’s smirk as he left us to it. Poor fool, didn’t he realise that ship had sailed (and sunk), as surely as the Irish Rover that was being sung in the background by most of the drinkers, years ago. I think he was hoping a nice stable Irish man would bring me home. No chance.

We had one million bales of the best Sligo rags

We had two million barrels of stones

We had three million sides of old blind horses’ hides,

We had four million barrels of bones.

We had five million hogs, we had six million dogs,

Seven million barrels of porter.

We had eight million bales of old nanny goats’ tails,

In the hold of the Irish Rover.

“God bless the Irish,” I commented to Pauric, just before going to fetch my bag with my house keys from Dad’s car. “We were never given to exaggeration!”