My Melody (Downtown Book 3) (6 page)

“Did you sleep with anyone else on tour?”

Where the hell did this come from?
“What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I didn’t,” I irritably respond.

“It’s only natural to ask. You run into hundreds of willing girls, every night, waiting to give you head like I did that one night. Don’t tell me you don’t get tempted.”

I kiss the top of her head. “Believe me when I say I never once got tempted. None of those groupies are you, Melody. Plus I didn’t use a condom again. That should tell you something right there.” On that last word she kisses my belly. It sends shivers up my system. It’s true, though, not using a condom is huge for me. I’ve never gone bareback until her. It means something to me. I hope it means something to her too. “Did
you
sleep anyone?”
Please say no.

“No.”

I exhale.
Thank fuck.
“Alright then.” I don’t know what I’d do if she fucked someone else. I need her to be all mine. “Would’ve torn me up if some other dick was inside you,” I mutter.

“I don’t want another dick, but I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Of having any sort of relationship with a guy. I don’t know how to do it.”

I bring us up into a sitting position; her legs encircle around my ass. She looks so sexy right now. So freshly fucked. I place my hand on the back of her head to make sure she looks into my eyes. “Baby, you don’t think I’m scared too? Shit, you’re the first woman who I came running back to. I have never wanted to come back for a second round. I usually fuck ‘em, and go onto the next. I don’t see the next when I’m with you.” I pause and think about what to say next. This might scare her off, but I’m going in for the kill anyways. “I see a forever with you.” Her hands are wrapped around my thighs; she squeezes them. Her eyes widen as she stares into my eyes. She’s now scowling. “What’s going on inside that pretty head of yours?”

“This…this is just too heavy for me,” she whispers out.

“You don’t see a forever with me?”

“No,” she quickly responds.

I gaze into her gorgeous green eyes. “Who fucked your brain up, Baby?”

“No one,” she shakes her head and looks down. “I just don’t see a forever with anyone. I enjoy a good fuck, especially with you -”

What the fuck
? I jerk her chin up with my finger. What she just said hurt like hell. “Don’t say that. Don’t say it’s just a
good fuck
with me.”

“I -”

I now have the sudden urge to blow off some steam. I need to go to the gym. “Gonna head to the gym.” I kiss her forehead. “Call me.” I unwrap our bodies without giving her a second glance. I don’t understand why I’m so frustrated. I had a feeling I was gonna scare her off, but she still hit me in the gut. I fucking hate being a pussy.

After pulling on my jeans and t-shirt Melody calls my name. “Wayne.”

I turn around and find her gloriously wrapped in her sheet. She takes my breath away every time. “Yeah, Sweetness.”

“Don’t expect me to have all the answers you want and get pissed off if I don’t return your feelings. Give me time. This is not easy for me.”

I put my hands on my hips, releasing a breath. She’s right, I shouldn’t expect anything from her. I’m just not used to these new feelings I have. I so desperately wanted her to endure the same thing. “Melody…I’m not pissed off. Frustrated, yeah, but not pissed. I’ll give you time.” I bend down, then touch my lips against hers. I slowly lick the outer part of her bottom lip, allowing my words to sink in her head. “Call me when you wanna ‘nother round in the sheets.” Shit, that was a low blow. However low it was, I don’t apologize. I want her to want me as much as I want her. I need to make her realize I’m not playing around.

OUCH
! WAYNE JUST PLAYED MY
card! After what he had just expressed, and how he agreed to give me more time, he blurts out something so egotistical. I
so
want to slap his white ass. "Wow,” I scoff. “Okay, Rocker Boy, if that's how you want to play it. I'll definitely call you the next time my pussy needs a good smack."

"I didn't mean for it to come out that way, Babe," he scowls.

I tighten the sheet around my body and stand up from the bed. "You didn't, huh?” I get up in his face. “I guess I deserved it. I mean that's what I wanted in the first place. None of this deep,
I see a forever with you
, shit talk." I have such an attitude right now.

We glare into each other's eyes. His are full of regret, I believe. I don’t blame him, really. I may jump into bed way too easily, but I am way too hard to get along with if things get too deep. I don’t do deep. I usually run away from it.

"I know what you're doing,” Wayne says quietly. He thinks he knows my reasons for pushing him away. He hasn’t got a clue.

"What am I doing, Wayne?” I raise my voice. “I'm just saying how it really is. You know what? I'm going back to my number one rule - I call the shots here,” I point at my chest. “Either you come when I want to have another round in the sheets - like you so graciously put it - or, we end this bullshit right here, right now."

We’re back to glaring. He’s trying to read my
real
thoughts - my thoughts of having anyone get too close to me scares me out of my mind. My rocker boy here has been getting way too close. Going beyond the bed shouldn’t happen.

"You're fucking whacked, Baby,” he answers back.

I nod my head. I wholeheartedly agree with him. "That's me - whacked in the sack, Melody.” I then lightly laugh. I
am
totally whacked, I should be put in some mental hospital for not wanting to keep this hot and sexy man in my bed forever. "You see a forever with me now, Sexy?” I cock an eyebrow. Wayne doesn’t say a word. He keeps his eyes locked on mine, yet doesn’t try to touch me. I’ve made him speechless for once. “I didn't think so."

Suddenly the front door flies open. "Make yourself comf -" Harmony cuts herself off and gasps. Standing in the doorway is Faith, June and some other girl with red hair. June has a huge, happy grin on her face, while Faith stands there expressionless and the redhead is wide eyed interested. My sister on the other hand is totally embarrassed; her cheeks are bright red. I know how this looks. Me with nothing on except a sheet. Even though this scene is quite awkward to say the least, I brush off Wayne and fake a really over the top introduction to the girls. "Welcome home, Sister!” The girls slowly walk inside the condo, not really sure what the hell is going on. “Hey there Faith, June.” I make my way up to the redhead and hold out my hand. “Hi, we haven't met before. I'm Melody, Harmony's amazing older sister."

Redhead is trying to hold back a laugh. I think I like this lady. "Uh, hi. Peta. Nice to meet you." She shakes my hand.

"Excuse my appearance,” I chuckle. “Wayne and I just rolled around in the sheets, isn't that right, Rocker Boy?" I am such a bitch. I look back at Wayne and see that he is livid. His blue windows don’t lie. Again, I don’t blame the dude. I am ruining a really good thing here.

"I'll see you around,” he icely says to me, then nods to the others, “Ladies.” He walks out.

My back stiffens the second he leaves. I’ve messed up. Big time.

I am now being pushed away from everyone, and into Harmony’s bedroom. My sister forces me into the bathroom so we are out of earshot from the others. "What the hell was that all about, Mel! Oh, my God, I can't believe you! How embarrassing!"

I have no idea what to say. I know I’ve humiliated my sister in front of her friends, so that is enough for me to apologize. "I'm sorry, Harm."

She continues her interrogation. "And sleeping with with Wayne! When did this start happening?"

I keep hold of the sheet and shrug. "Months ago, at a concert."

Harmony finally calms herself down. She takes a deep breath, then exhales. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"Because it's my sex life,” I scoff. “It's never a public subject, you already know that."

"Obviously it is now."

"It is not.”

"I beg to differ,” she argues.

"Well, beg to differ all you want,” I argue back. “I'm going to take a shower. You guys sticking around?"

"Yes. I'd like you to hang with us - but just…just act normal."

"This
is
normal, Sister.” I hate defending my behavior, but I’ll do anything for Harmony. “But I'll be on my best behavior."

After I take a quick shower, pull my hair up in a ponytail, apply some makeup and get dressed, I join everyone in the living room. My bed is put back together as a couch and my discarded clothes are out of the way. Things are once again tidy. There are no traces of mine and Wayne’s time together. Why do I wish the traces were still there? My attitude toward him makes me hate myself. However, what’s done is done. I’m sure I’ll see him again. I know he can’t turn me down, just like I can’t turn him down. We have this extreme force that always leads us back in bed.

I keep to myself for a few minutes, drinking a cocktail while the others talk about the latest Bachelor show. I despise that program. I want to gag every time the girls sweet talk the bachelor dude. They are so fake. I don’t understand what makes anyone think the show has taste. All they do is fight and whine. So annoying. As quickly as I can I change the subject. I don’t know anything about this redhead, Peta. She seems like a cool person to hang out with.

In a jokingly way I ask, "So, Peta, who’s instrument are you playing?" All eyes turn on me.

Peta seems confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, which rocker hunk are you after?" Harmony nudges my foot with her own. I shrug at her, not sure what I said wrong.

"I'm not after anyone,” she lightly laughs. “I’m actually engaged. His name’s Scott. He’s in the Military."

Shit.
I am always putting my foot in my mouth. To make up for my no filter question I bring up the huge rock I see on her finger. “Gorgeous ring he gave you.”

She touches the ring and gazes at it with a small grin. “It was a huge, incredible splurge before he went to the Middle East."

"Shit. So he’s still there?"

"Unfortunately so. He's supposed to return by the summer, but you never know,” she shrugs with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

Poor Peta. I feel really bad for her. "I'm sorry. That's rough."

“It flat out sucks ass, but having my friends around is the best medicine."

I notice June takes hold of Peta’s hand in comfort. I’ve never had that kind of friendship. "You’re pretty lucky to have such good friends around. I’ve never had that."

“Well…you do now, Honey,” Faith says.

"Absolutely,” June agrees.

Another moment of not knowing what to say. I never expected to make any close friends. June is one of them. I met her not too long ago at a group gathering at Faith’s hotel suite. She confided in me about having a miscarriage with Phillip’s baby, a few months back. She had a really impressive tattoo on her wrist and I asked her about what inspired it. I was so touched and had not expected the story behind it to be about about the baby.

I take a drink of my cocktail and enjoy the rest of the evening with my new friends.

The next two days were not very exciting. With Harmony working all the time, I stay stuck in my rut of “finding myself” again. I should probably make a trip up to LA soon.
Ashes and Embers
is going to be playing, but I don’t exactly have the money to buy tickets. My bike is in the shop, so all that I have in my savings is just enough to pay for the repair. My sister gives me a decent allowance, but I am feeling more and more guilty taking money from her. Something has to give…I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve had plenty of chances to work for Faith and Helene; they have offered me a few jobs that I might be interested in. I always turn them down, though. The dark cloud that hovers over my head never seems to let up. I want to get out from under Harmony’s wing, but my drive to do so is at a turtle’s pace. I know deep down inside the old Melody is still there. I’d do anything to get her back. Singing and playing the guitar is what the old me was all about.
Who am I without those two things
? I am tired of my depression. I am tired of taking and taking, yet not being able to give back. What I wouldn’t do to be happy again.