My Lucky Days: A Novel (27 page)

“Well, let’s see what’s going on. I know the health center gave you a little information, but let’s check everything out. We can do a complete blood work-up and get an official due date set.”

I nodded, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. I struggled to keep from shivering in the chilly room that smelled of lemon disinfectant.

I lay on the sterile table as the doctor did the exam. His perky nurse Becky held my hand as I stared up at the ceiling. Her glowing smile was a little too much to stomach at the moment. Her lips literally were the color of a pink neon sign. I let out a deep breath. Maybe I should have just asked Peyton to drop everything and drive over when I knew Lucky wouldn’t make it.

Dr. Phillips pulled the paper gown up higher before squirting the cool gel on my skin. He worked the machine as I watched the image on the screen. A few weeks had passed so the details appeared much clearer this time.

“All right. I see your baby.” His gloved finger pointed at the screen. “See right here?”

A warm rush hit me on the inside and the coldness drifted away. I stared at the screen as he described the image. Everything in my life shifted slowly into focus. I swallowed hard, but it didn’t stop a tear from rolling down my cheek.

And just when I didn’t think my heart could feel any bigger, a sound came from the machine. It was a steady swoosh over and over again. I would never forget this moment. The smell of lemons on a stormy day as I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

Another tear rolled down my cheek as I looked at the doctor.

He smiled. “This never gets old.”

“What?”

“That moment when the mama hears it for the first time. It never gets old for me.”

I wiped a few tears off on my hand and thought about Lucky. He was missing this moment. The tears fell a little harder. Maybe he could be here for the next one.

“Okay, Katie, let’s talk for a minute.” He covered me back up and sat on the stool.

I gripped the paper gown in my fingers again. “Okay.”

He looked at a chart while Becky typed on the computer, entering my information. “I’m going to put your due date at . . . let’s see . . . about November twenty-second. You’ll have a little turkey.”

I laughed as I remembered my last Thanksgiving—and Halloween. Chill bumps suddenly covered my skin as the overwhelming thoughts plagued me. In a matter of a year, my life had evolved into a completely different future—all because of a guy who made me laugh one night at a party I didn’t even want to attend.

I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly from my nose.

“You okay?” He patted me on the shoulder.

I nodded weakly. “Yes. Just a little cold.”

“Okay, why don’t you get dressed.” His kind blue eyes found mine. At that moment, I understood why Callie loved him as a doctor. He made you want to hug him. “I know this can be a lot to process at first. But it gets better. Will the baby’s father be involved?”

“Yes, his flight was delayed. He was supposed to be here.”

“Okay.” He smiled. “I’ll have Becky go over everything that will be happening in the next few months. If you have any concerns, don’t hesitate to call our office. Sound good?”

“Yeah. Okay.” But I knew my life would never be
okay
again.

The windshield wipers struggled to keep up with the pouring rain on the drive back home. A clap of thunder vibrated the car followed by an electrifying streak across the sky. I saw my phone light up with a call from Lucky, but I couldn’t answer in this storm, which seemed to be getting worse.

My hands were shaking by the time I pulled into the driveway. I ran from the car as ice pellets pounded the ground. The hail hit me in the back until I finally got the door open. Closing it behind me, I leaned against the wood boards until my heart calmed down.

I went to my bedroom to change clothes as the storm continued to rage outside the window. The tree next to the house whipped around in the blowing wind. My roommates were not at home and I wondered if they were trying to drive in this or if they stayed put somewhere safe.

Slipping on a dry shirt, I heard the front door open and I froze, hearing a deep voice. “Katie?”

I sucked in a gasp before running down the hallway. My heart physically hurt in my chest when I finally saw him. Lucky was standing in the living room, looking every bit the star I pretended he wasn’t.

My eyes trailed down his body, taking in the dark jeans, clinging tight to his thighs, and the black T-shirt, molding to every muscle underneath the soft fabric. And that hair. It was slicked back, slightly damp from the rain.

His homecomings always caused a bit of magic to float through the air. And that spark pulled us together. Lucky scooped me up, giving me a cold wet kiss. His mouth moved softly against mine, letting the warmth build between our lips. My arms went around his neck and my bare toes dangled about a foot off the ground.

I had missed him. His laugh. His smile. His love of life and the way that transcended into my world. My feet eventually touched the carpet again, but he left his arms around me. I felt the wet spots on his black shirt as he held me against his chest. He broke the kiss to look into my eyes. “Am I hurting you?”

I shook my head no, feeling our noses brush against each other. Lucky placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I have imagined this moment about a hundred times over the last hour as I was driving here. But all of those thoughts were not even a fraction of how this really feels.”

“I know.” I smiled, running my fingers through his damp hair, pushing it off his forehead. My hands continued down his shoulders. I needed to touch him, feel his body, and know he really was standing in front of me. I had to remind myself to breathe.

“You have no idea how much that look right there drives me crazy. Those green eyes have haunted me for weeks.” He placed a light kiss on the tip of my nose. “Come on.”

Lucky guided me toward the couch. Sitting down on the cushions, he pulled me sideways into his lap, wrapping his arms around my whole body. I felt his breath on my cheek and his heart beating against me. He smelled of rain and his leathery cologne.

And then it happened. My resolve started to crumble. Since the day I had found out about the baby, something had held me together. I had cried, but something inside my gut refused to let me cave into the fear and uncertainty. I had kept going, day after day, carrying this weight alone.

But wrapped in Lucky’s arms, I felt myself let go.

I let go mentally and physically, collapsing against his chest. My hand gripped tight to his T-shirt as I clung to his strength. I buried my face against his neck, taking in a deep breath of his scent, hoping it would calm the chaos inside of me.

“I don’t know if I could have gone another week without you. I need—” My voice dropped off as the tears took over. “I needed you.”

“Hey, Katie. I’m so sorry,” he whispered in my hair. “It’s okay. I’m here.” The comforting words flowed from his lips. We stayed like that on the couch as the rain hit the window behind us.

He eventually pulled my fingers from his shirt, brushing soft kisses on each fingertip. He slipped our intertwined hands between us, resting them against my stomach. “Can I see?”

“Okay.” I felt a little self-conscious as I leaned back on the cushions, leaving my feet across his lap.

He was used to seeing me one way. My body would continue changing a little every day, but he wouldn’t be here to witness the gradual difference. Instead, he would get a shock each time he came home.

I pulled the bottom of my T-shirt to the edge of my bra. The excitement flashed in his eyes as he rested his hand on the center of my bare stomach. “You don’t look much different yet.”

“Not really. It’s still early. I can tell though. My pants are tighter.”

“How big is it now?” Lucky traced his finger across my skin.

“The book said a kumquat.”

He grinned. “I have no idea what that is.”

“Me either. I had to look it up. A tiny orange.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I don’t understand most of the stuff in there. I’m having to learn.”

“Maybe I should read it too.”

“Maybe, if you want. I can get you a copy.” Our eyes held for a moment as the emotions built up for both of us. And then he leaned over, placing a kiss on the middle of my stomach before laying his cheek against me. I felt each of his breaths drift across my skin.

I reached down, running my fingers through his hair. “I heard the heartbeat today.”

“I’m sorry. I should have been here.” He lifted his head up, gazing at me with his deep brown eyes. “I don’t want it to be this way.”

“It won’t be. It’s difficult right now. But the baby isn’t due until November.”

“He told you the date?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “November twenty-second. It feels better knowing, I think. We can get this figured out better before then. You’re here now. We can . . . can make a plan.” I cupped his face in my hands.

Lucky suddenly closed his eyes as he clenched his jaw. My fingers rubbed over the scruff on his cheeks. “What did I say? I was trying . . . just trying to figure this out.”

“It’s not you, Katie.” His eyes found mine again and they were conflicted, almost filled with pain. “We need to talk about something. It’s not bad, but you’re right. We have some . . . decisions to make.”

“Okay?”

“Jack Harlow made me an offer.”

I blinked a few times as the words registered and my hands fell from his cheeks. “What? I-I don’t understand. Jack Harlow made you an offer? When did this happen? I-I didn’t know you had even talked to him again?”

“We’ve talked off and on the last couple of weeks. I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain. You were dealing with so much and this . . . this would—well, I just wanted to talk about it in person.”

“What kind of offer?” The air felt like it was pulled from my lungs. I heard the slow rumble of thunder outside the house, but it couldn’t compete with the pounding in my heart. This was huge for Lucky and yet, I hated the thought of it. Because an offer like this meant only one thing.

“He’s got a tour this fall. They are calling it the All Jacked Up
Tour. His opener was Forney Road. But they can’t do it now. So he remembered the guy with the guitar he saw in Atlanta.”

“This fall.” The words tasted of poison. He was going to be gone this fall. He wasn’t going to be here when . . . when . . .

I closed my eyes. I would be alone.

“Hey, don’t close up on me.” He tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. His face was dark with emotion. “I told him that I would think about it. And I needed to talk to you first. These decisions—they aren’t just mine to make anymore.”

“Would this get you a recording contract?”

“Maybe. I don’t know for certain. But if I say yes to this, I don’t see how he won’t try for me to be on his label.”

The wave of nausea circled through my stomach and I struggled to breathe. I swallowed back the saliva building in my throat. “Then you have to do it.”

“I don’t have to do anything. We are in this together now. Maybe this is the right thing at the wrong time. It doesn’t mean it’s the end for me. I’m just getting started.”

I looked into his brown eyes, seeing the hidden excitement and something inside my heart jerked. This
was
his big break. We both knew it—even if he wouldn’t outright say the words.

When this whole adventure started with Lucky, I felt like I was living in a fairytale. And it was true. I was living in a whimsical world with someone I loved—just not the right fairytale.

Instead of being the princess in the story, I was Wendy, wishing for Peter to stay with her. But as everyone knows, someone who has the ability to fly shouldn’t be chained to the ground. It wasn’t fair to clip the wings of a rare gift.

I just never saw the reality of this before today.

“Do you wish we never met?” I whispered.

“What?” His thumbs brushed against my cheeks and a flash of panic filled his sweet face. “Why would you say something like that? I love being with you.”

“I know you do.”

“I’ve never felt this way about another person. I love you. All of you. And maybe part of me loves the fact that you make me feel wanted, needed. That
might
sound crazy. But I’m a guy and it means something to me.” He moved in closer so our faces were almost touching. “And every time I look into your eyes, I fall in love with you just a little bit more because I see how much you love me back. You love me, Katie. Just as much as I love you.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that we met at the worst time in your life. Like you said in the beginning. You barely have time for a relationship. And now, you’ve got something else to factor into your dream. I’ve changed your life. Your plan. Your future is now—”

He kissed me, hushing the words on my lips. “You’re right. I never thought I would have a kid this soon or while I was trying to still make it in this business. But it doesn’t mean I can’t do it all.”

“Then tell him yes,” I whispered, knowing I was sentencing myself to a lonely existence. I think part of me had wanted him to walk in here and save the day. But sometimes, when the dust is wiped from the looking glass, the only thing revealed is a reflection full of cracks.