My Life With the Walter Boys (16 page)

“I sleep in my boxers,” he said, stepping out of his pants as he bit back a grin. Next he tugged off his shirt, revealing his photoshopped abs. “It’s okay if you stare,” he said, plopping down on the small sofa. He stretched out, and his long legs dangled over the edge of the armrest. “I don’t mind.”

“I was not staring,” I snapped at him.

“Yeah, Cole,” said Alex, who, after watching his brother for a few hesitant moments, made the decision to yank off his shirt as well. “Not every girl is obsessed with you.”

“All I’m saying,” Cole said, wiggling down into the cushions, “is that Jackie wasn’t looking at your scrawny self when you pulled off your shirt.”

“Would you both be quiet?” I said, thankful for the cover of darkness that hid my blush. And for some amazing reason, the boys actually listened to me, both falling silent as we settled into our makeshift beds for the night.

My muscles were tired from the long day, and I thought I would drop off instantly, but I lay there wide awake, unable to close my eyes. I was exceedingly aware of Cole and Alex, one on either side of me. I was so tense, that when a drop of water hit my forehead, I nearly screamed.

“Jackie?” Alex said, his voice sleepy. “What’s wrong?”

“I think the ceiling is leaking,” I said, holding my hand out in the air. Sure enough, after a few more seconds of waiting with my palm outstretched, I felt a cool splash against my skin.

“I’ll get a bucket,” Alex said. With a yawn, he scooted off the chair and made his way into the kitchen.

“Here, Jackie,” Cole said, standing up. He picked his pillow and blankets up off the sofa.

“Don’t worry about me,” I told him as I spread my blanket out on the living room floor. “I’ll be fine.”

Not surprisingly, he didn’t listen, and soon he had a bed laid out on the ground right next to me. He flopped down, and I could practically feel him lying there, his arm inches from mine.
Can
you
please
move
over?
sat on the tip of my tongue, but I refused to say anything, not wanting to admit that he had an effect on me.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked when he came back from the kitchen with a mixing bowl in his hand.

“Couldn’t let the lady sleep on the floor by herself,” Cole responded. “Not with all those psycho murderers on the loose.”

“Dang it, Cole,” I said, hitting him with a pillow. “It’s not funny.” I’d managed to forget about the movie until he brought it up again. Now I would never get to sleep.

Alex paused and glanced between his bed for the night and the empty carpet on my right-hand side. “Oh,” he said. He arranged the bowl on the couch to catch the leak before returning to the recliner.

From the floor, I had a full view of the raging storm through the window. There wasn’t much to see, but every time lightning flashed, I expected to see Crazy Jack standing there with a meat cleaver. I told myself to close my eyes, but I couldn’t look away as my chest pounded.

“Cole?” I finally asked, my voice squeaky.

“Uh-huh?”

“Could you close the blinds?” I was past caring if he made fun of me.

“Sure,” he said, getting up slowly. He pulled on the curtain cord but had to yank it around a few times before the shades tumbled down. Once they settled in place and I could no longer see outside, I finally let out the breath I was holding.

“You know,” Cole said, as he lay back down, “I think the only reason you wanted me to get up was so you could see my perfectly toned abs again.”

“Cole,” Alex and I said at the same time, “shut up.”

He chuckled, but then it was finally silent again. So quiet, in fact, that I could hear the ping of water droplets as they fell into the bowl on the couch. Next to me, Cole had already dozed off, a soft wheezing sound escaping his lips as he breathed in and out. There was a creak of springs as Alex moved on the recliner, but then I saw his shape moving around in the dark.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered. He dropped his blanket to the floor.

“The chair’s uncomfortable,” he responded. I could tell from the way he stood there awkwardly that he was waiting for permission to lie down.

“Okay,” I told him.

That seemed to be enough, because a second later Alex was stretching out next to me, and not long after that he was out. In their sleep, both boys kept moving closer to me, and when I finally drifted off, there was one arm wrapped around my stomach and one hand intertwined with mine.

***

Sunday passed quickly. The boys called Will in the morning and he came over to fix the power. Once it was back on, Cole spent what little time he could watching ESPN before his parents got home. Alex tried to tempt me into playing
GoG,
but I wasn’t willing to break Katherine and George’s rules. I stayed in my room reading until my phone rang.

“Sammy?” I asked, picking up immediately when I saw her name on the caller ID.

“Hey, girly,” she said. “What you up to?”

“Not much,” I said, pushing away from my desk and moving to the bed. I collapsed on the comforter and switched the phone to my other ear. “Just doing some anatomy homework for next week.”

“Ugh, typical Jackie,” Sammy criticized. I could practically see her sitting on the fuzzy pink rug in our dorm room, painting her toenails. “You’re living with a bunch of hot guys, and instead of finding Cole and experiencing some real-life anatomy, you’re shacking up with a textbook like a pariah.”

“It’s not like I never see him,” I told her. “I mean we did sleep together last night.”

“
You
what?
”

“Okay, wait,” I said, backtracking. “That came out all wrong.”

But Sammy was already in full-on rant mode. “My best friend went and got herself de-virgin-fied and you didn’t think to call me, like…this morning? Seriously, you moved away and poof! I don’t hear from you until five years later and—”

“Oh my God, no!” I said, shouting into the phone.

“‘No’ to what? The five years part, because it’s honestly starting to feel like that. The next thing you know, I’ll be stalking your Facebook just to see if you’re still alive.”

“Would you stop being such a drama queen?”

“Are you kidding me?” she said, clearly upset. “This situation is totally eligible for full-on drama status!”

“Sammy,” I said, lowering my voice so nobody could hear me. “Can you just chill out? I didn’t de-virgin myself or whatever.”

“Sex, Jackie. We’re talking about sex!”

“Yeah,” I said. “I know what we’re talking about, and I didn’t do that.”

“Oh,” she said after a long pause. “Then what
are
you talking about?”

“When I said ‘slept,’ I meant we fell asleep in the same vicinity.”

“Well, that is totally less newsworthy. Mr. Elvis sleeps with me when he can’t get comfy on his doggy bed, and then he makes these little farts that stink up the whole room, but you don’t hear me blabbing on about it.”

“I’m not the one blabbering,” I said. “And I don’t know, it just—it feels kind of big to me. I don’t know what to do about him, Sammy.”

“It’s not what you do
about
him. It’s what you do
with
him. Grab him by those big, manly arms that I’m assuming he has, and show him what New York has to offer.”

“Okay, can you please be serious for a moment? I’m really confused here,” I told her. “I try to ignore him, but then he does something cute like, I don’t know, taking me on a tour of the ranch to cheer me up, and I just—argh!” I grabbed my pillow and flung it across the room.

Sammy sighed. “All right, I’m sorry. I got a little excited to finally hear from you.”

“A little excited?”

“Do you want to talk about your Cole issues or not?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t want to have Cole issues. I just want to get through these next few years and come home.”

“So for the next two years of high school, you’re never going to have a boyfriend?”

“I don’t know.”

“Jackie, just because you’re leaving eventually doesn’t mean you can’t get to know people.”

“I’m not afraid of forming relationships, Sammy—it’s just him.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a complete chauvinist. When we go to school, it’s like he has a different girl to make out with every period.” In reality that was just an excuse. The real reason why I was frightened by whatever was going on between Cole and me was too hard to admit.

“Okay,” she said, thinking out loud, “so he’s a bit of a man-whore. But, honey, trust me when I say that can be fixed. You should focus on the positive things. It sounds like he can be sweet when he wants to be.”

“It’s not just that. It’s…” I trailed off, still struggling to say what I was thinking.

“It’s what?”

“How can I even have these feelings?” I asked, squeezing my eyes shut. “That shouldn’t even be okay since—”

“Since what?” she snapped. “Since your family’s accident? Are you never allowed to love someone again because of that?” The anger in her voice caught me off guard.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that, but…” I paused and took a breath. “Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

“God, Jackie, no!” Sammy gasped, horrified. “It’s not like there are rules detailing the right way to mourn. Being in a relationship might be a good thing.”

“How?”

“It could help you heal,” she said, “And, I don’t know…move on?”

I nodded my head and told Sammy, “Yeah, okay,” even if I didn’t mean it. Why was she acting like I needed to be fixed? I was here in Colorado, living my life. I didn’t need a relationship to heal or whatever, and I most definitely didn’t need Cole.

***

On Monday, we all piled out of the truck when we got to school. Danny and I had to wait for everyone to grab their backpacks because ours were at the bottom of the pile.

“So, how was being grounded?” Danny asked.

It was the first thing he’d said to me since our afternoon in the auditorium. He wasn’t ignoring me per se—he’d nodded at me this morning when we ran into each other in the hallway—and I had accepted that Danny was a silent type.

“Good.” I was pleasantly surprised that he actually started a conversation with me. We were making progress! “The lights went out, but I got a bunch of homework done,” I said. Danny slung his backpack over his shoulder and nodded his head. “How was your weekend?” I asked, trying to keep the conversation going as we made our way into the building.

“I don’t like camping.”

“Really?” I asked, and my voice pitched up, revealing my surprise. I thought all of the Walter boys enjoyed the outdoors. After all, they grew up on a ranch.

“All those creepy, crawly bugs freak the crap out of me,” he said.

I choked, thinking for a moment that he was being serious.

“I’m kidding,” he said quickly, but it was hard to tell because his face was so serious. “About the bugs, at least. I’m more of an indoors kind of guy.”

“You live in the middle of nowhere,” I pointed out.

He shrugged. “My drama class went on a field trip to Chicago freshman year, and it just felt right. I’d rather live in the city.”

“Yeah, there’s something about all those people, the busy streets, and the movement—it makes you feel alive.” Danny was gazing at me now with a look I couldn’t quite decipher, so I went on. “If you enjoyed Chicago, you’ll love New York.”

“New York,” he repeated slowly.

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s the best place in the world.”

“I got the part,” he said, suddenly changing the subject.

I blinked. “Oh, right,” I finally responded, realizing he was talking about
Romeo
and
Juliet
. “Congratulations, Danny. That’s great news.”

“Thanks,” he said, and then he was gone, disappearing into crowded hallway.

The next two weeks passed quickly, the days blending together. But today was different. When I got home from school, I went straight for the kitchen, which had been transformed into a bakery since we left this morning. Mrs. Walter was pulling a pan of cookies out of the oven—I had been able to smell them from the front porch—and four whole sheets of warm, gooey goodness were already waiting on silver cooling racks.

“Hi, Jackie,” she said, scooping a few cookies up with a spatula. “How was your day?”

“It was good,” I answered automatically. “Those smell
amazing
. What’s the occasion?”

“Thanks, honey.” She placed half a dozen cookies on a plate. “It’s the twins’ turn to bring a snack to their soccer game tomorrow. Speaking of the twins, can you go find them for me? I haven’t seen them in hours.”

“Sure,” I said. “Which ones?”

“Oh!” Mrs. Walter laughed. “Zack and Benny. Here, take these with you.”

She handed me the plate, and I made my way to the monsters’ room, glad that I had a peace offering. As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, Zack poked his head out the door.

“Are those chocolate chip?” he asked me.

“Yup,” I said, holding the plate over my head and out of reach. I was amazed he hadn’t smelled them before now—the entire house smelled like cookies. “Before I give you any, I need to know where Benny is.”

“In here,” Zack said, grabbing my free hand and tugging me inside his room. “He’s here with Parker. Guys, Jackie has cookies!”

In a matter of seconds, both boys and Parker were circling around my legs, demanding baked goods, and I felt like a swimmer swept out into open water.

“Okay, okay!” I said, laughing nervously.

After grabbing a cookie to make sure I got one, I set the plate down and backed away for my own safety. They inhaled everything within minutes, and I was almost surprised they didn’t eat the plate.

“So, Jackie,” Parker said, licking her fingers clean. “Do you know how to play Mario Kart, or are you too girly to like video games?”

The twins were already gone, probably off to beg their mom for more, and I decided this was the perfect opportunity to get to know Parker better. Since I’d moved in, Parker had made it obvious that she didn’t like me. She was always making comments about how girly I was, as if that was some kind of crime, and one time she purposely spilled Kool-Aid on my favorite skirt. If only I could find some common ground between us, I might be able to connect with her. I didn’t know much about being an older sister, but I always loved when Lucy let me win at games.

“I think I can handle it,” I told her, plopping down in one of the beanbags. “But I want a controller without chocolate on it.”

While she was setting up our race, Parker took the time to explain the game to me, pointing out which button did what. Later, when Bowser sped over the finish line just ahead of Princess Peach, Parker punched her hand into the air. “Yes!” she shouted, jumping up in excitement. “I win again!”

“Wow, you’re too good at this,” I told her, trying to hold back a smile.

“Not really,” Parker said as she rolled her eyes at me. “I just don’t drive like a girl.”

“Parker?” Alex asked, sticking his head in the room. When he spotted her, he said, “There you are. Mom wants you downstairs.”

“Fine,” she responded, tossing her controller on the floor. “I was getting bored with kicking butt anyway.”

We both watched her go, and after she slammed the door shut, Alex turned to me. “Hey, Jackie,” he said. “What are you doing in here?”

“Trying to bond,” I sighed, twisting the game cord around my finger. “Something I’m evidently not very good at. I don’t think she likes me.”

Alex considered this as he came into the room. “It’s not that she doesn’t like you,” he said, sitting down next to me. “I just think she isn’t used to having another girl in the house.”

“You’d think she’d be excited,” I said, sinking back into the beanbag in disappointment. “After having to put up with so many boys her whole life, I expected that she’d want to spend some decent girl time.”

“If you haven’t noticed, Parker isn’t really a girly girl.” He picked up the controller his sister had tossed to the floor and wiped away a chocolate smear.

I shot him a look. “I realize that, but I want her to like me. We’re kind of outnumbered around here.”

“Well, that’s never going to change, no matter how close you two get,” he said. “Just let it go. She’ll get used to you eventually.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“How about we play a quick race and you show me what you got?”

“All right,” I told him, sitting back up. “But don’t go easy on me.”

“I would never,” he said, twirling the controller in his hand. “I want to beat you fair and square.”

“Good luck,” I told him, as we both chose our characters.

“Don’t need it.” His forehead was scrunched up as he focused on the TV.

The game started again to the sound of twirls and bangs, and unlike last time, my kart was the first to cross the finish line.

Alex chucked his controller. “Unbelievable!” he yelled.

I winked at him. “Told you you’d need some luck.”

He narrowed his eyes, suspicious of my newfound racing skills, and asked, “Go again?”

“If you want to lose a second time.”

“You’re so going down,” he said, a determined look on his face.

Unfortunately for Alex, I was the champion of Mario Kart. For the next thirty minutes, I beat him using every single character. It was too easy—Lucy had been obsessed with the game when we were kids, and we spent every day after school racing.

“You know, I was just letting Parker win to be nice,” I told him, when he finally gave up.

“I realize that,” he said, his pride damaged. “You’re not allowed to tell anyone.”

“Says who?”

“Me. That’s confidential information.”

“Does it matter that much?”

“You don’t understand,” he tried to explain. “I’m the king of video games. Nobody beats me, not ever.” Alex shook his head in disbelief.

“You’ve been dethroned,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at him. “And I did it all with Princess Peach.”

As if in a daze, he shook his head and looked up at me. For a second I thought he was mad, but then he said, “You know you’re adorable, right?” Then, he clamped his hand over his mouth as he realized what he’d said.

I smiled. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Alex was blushing now, and he looked away, his lips mashed together in a small line, clearly upset with himself. I thought he was going to leave, but then he took a deep breath and did something I never expected him to—he kissed me.

It started out slow and gentle, his lips soft. It took me a moment to react, but when I did, I wrapped my arms around him and wove my fingers into his blond hair. I could hear my pulse roaring in my ears—I was kissing Alex! I’d never thought about kissing him before because he’d always seemed like just a friend, but there was a warm feeling in my chest that bloomed, twisting its way down my arms and legs like a vine, indicating otherwise.

Sammy had told me horror stories about kissing. She referred to one ex-boyfriend as the Snake. He liked to flick his tongue out like a whip, jabbing her repeatedly in the mouth when they made out. Then there was the fling who was so sloppy, she said, that it was like making out with an overripe pear. Since then, I was terrified of my first real kiss. What if whomever I was kissing thought something bad like that about me? But now, in the moment, those thought melted away. Alex’s lips against mine, his hand cupping my face, felt good.

He pulled away to look at me, and I saw that his blue eyes were filled with doubt. I offered him a reassuring smile, and a cheesy grin crept onto his face before he pulled me into another kiss. This one was less careful, more eager. Looping his arm around my back, he pushed me down into the beanbag and pressed his body to mine.

“Hey, Jackie?” Cole asked, opening the door, “Parker said you were in here—”

Alex leaped away from me, but Cole still stopped to gape at us.

For a moment, nobody said anything.

Then Alex scrambled to his feet. “I can leave if you two need to talk,” he said, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

“Don’t bother,” Cole said flatly. “You two are clearly busy.” He looked at me one last time before slamming the door.

***

Breakfast the next morning was interesting, to say the least. Cole glowered at me over his cereal bowl, making it difficult for me to concentrate on spreading jam on my toast. I dropped the knife to the floor, and a glob of strawberry goo splattered on the linoleum.

“You okay, Jackie?” Nathan asked, bumping his hip against me to get my attention. We were standing next to each other at the counter, me with my breakfast, and him with a brown paper bag he was packing for lunch.

“Yeah, just a bit tired.” That was a lie, but I wasn’t going to tell him the truth with Cole listening. The fact was, I was wired. Last night, I hadn’t been able to sleep at all, yet I felt like I had chugged a whole pack of Alex’s Kickstarts. I couldn’t stop thinking about my kiss with him, and what it would mean for our friendship. What if Alex suddenly got weird and didn’t want to hang out with me anymore? I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, not to mention that seeing him every day around the house would be awkward. Our spur-of-the-moment make-out session was suddenly starting to feel like a bad thing.

“Okay, just make sure you don’t forget that after school my mom is picking us up.”

“What?” I asked, looking up sharply. “Why?”

He glanced at Cole before quickly looking back to me and whispering, “Birthday shopping, remember?”

“Oh.”

After what happened the previous night, I’d completely forgotten that tomorrow was Cole and Danny’s birthday, and I needed to get them both a present. But as we left for school, I had a feeling that Cole didn’t want anything except for me to keep my distance. Normally he made a point of offering me a ride with Nick, and in turn, I always said no. But today he shoved past me as everyone made their way out the front door, not even bothering to look in my direction. He was gone before I could even move off the porch steps, Nick’s black Porsche snaking down the driveway.

All day long during class, I tried to think of something good to get him, something that would fix the problem between us. But in all honesty, what could I possibly buy that said, “Sorry you saw me kissing your brother”? The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Cole had no right to be mad with me. It wasn’t like we were dating.

Besides, I convinced myself as I emerged into the sunlight after my final class period, I didn’t have time to deal with Cole. Something was definitely going on between Alex and me. We didn’t talk about it in anatomy because I was too nervous, but he offered me a huge smile when I walked into class. Hopefully that meant things hadn’t changed between us, and we could forget about the whole kissing thing and just go back to being friends. Then I could pretend it had never happened.

“Hi, kids,” Katherine said, rolling down the window as I walked up to the van. Looking over my shoulder, I saw that Alex, Nathan, and Lee were right behind me, backpacks slung over their shoulders.

“Shotty!” Lee called, pushing me out of the way as he yanked open the front door and hopped inside.

“That was rude, Lee,” Katherine told him, but her nephew wasn’t listening. Lee was already fiddling with the radio, flipping through the stations until he found something he liked.

“It’s okay,” I assured Katherine, and slid open the back door. “I’m fine sitting wherever.”

Alex and I ended up in the middle seats, while Nathan took the far back. Like usual, Isaac was a no-show. Once we were all buckled in, Katherine pulled out of the school parking lot, turning in the direction of the highway. It was a fifteen-minute drive to the mall, and as everyone piled out after parking, Katherine gave us some instructions.

“Remember, kids, Zack and Benny have a soccer game tonight so we have to be quick. Everyone needs to be back here in half an hour with your gifts or you’re walking home. And please,” she said, sighing, “no inappropriate presents this year.”

Lee was gone before Katherine even finished speaking, and Alex hurried off so he had time to stop at his favorite video-game store after picking out his brothers’ gifts. Not knowing the layout of the mall and still clueless about what to get Cole, I followed along with Nathan.

“In here,” he said, strolling into an electronics store. He led me through the rows of TVs, computers, and other gadgets with purpose, as if he knew exactly where he was going. He did. We came to a stop in front of a sleek, voice-controlled radio.

“Cole’s been eyeing this all year,” Nathan said. “He wants to install it in the car he’s been restoring.” He turned over the price tag. “Dang. I was hoping this would go on sale since the new version came out.”

“How about we go in on it together?” I suggested.

“Jackie, I can’t even pay for half of this,” he said. “Besides, I still have to get something for Danny.”

“Don’t worry about it, Nathan,” I said, thinking of the credit card in my wallet. “Just pay for what you can.”

He shook his head. “I can’t do that, Jackie. That’s not fair.”

“I have more than enough,” I told him. When he still didn’t look convinced, I added, “Besides, you’re totally helping me out. I had no clue what to get for Cole when we got here today. I can’t take all the credit.”

“Are you sure?” he said, glancing back down at the price tag.

Grabbing the box off the shelf, I nodded my head. “Absolutely.”

***

The next morning, someone knocked on my door before my alarm went off.

“Come in!” I called, sitting up in bed.

“Morning, Jackie,” Nathan said, stepping inside. In his hands was the present we’d bought for Cole, already wrapped up in blue wrapping paper.

“Morning, Nathan, what’s up?” I asked.

“I just came to tell you that I’m not running this morning. My mom always makes blueberry pancakes when it’s someone’s birthday, and we watch them open their presents.”