My Kiasu Teenage Life in Singapore (11 page)

Cheng Hoe did it. And it was so funny, 'coz Nancy came and wanted to interfere. She said, “What! Why you so dumb one?!” and “You confuse me!” to Cheng Hoe. Then Gaik Teong (who's VERY funny) said, “Wah! Nancy is confused by Cheng Hoe! Cheng Hoe, you're so attractive!” I laughed and laughed 'coz the guys are very funny. I don't know how they can be so funny.

My dream is to get top place for Add. Maths and but this is very difficult for me to achieve. I've never had such aspirations before. I mean, last time, all I thought about was guys. Jen Nee is still studying for her Chem exam and it's now 12.45 am. Last night, we studied till 2 am, reciting History essays to each other. Jen Nee studies last minute but she spends a lot of time on each chapter 'coz she pays attention to every detail! I'm so carefree about exams. For example if I have History test tomorrow, I'll do Add. Maths. Actually, I hardly study.

Jen Nee and me have a devious plan. We laughed and laughed about it: we're going to be hardworking, doing our Maths secretly after the exams when everyone else is having fun, so we'll be cleverer than them. Ha! Ha!

Love, Pei Yi

Wednesday 13 May

Hi, it's 10 pm and we're waiting for the warden to check our rooms. They want to see whether we're neat.

Tomorrow is the Add. Maths exam. The Physics exam was very easy. But everyone else was moaning and groaning. Aargh, I'm feeling so bored right now. Can't wait till exams are over. Now, I don't know what I'm interested in and what I want to be.

I haven't gone to any movies since Feb! Last year I went 12 times. I love going to movies.

Hi! It's now 1 am. I just watched the Thomas Cup. Did you watch it? It was so exciting!!! At 12.30 am the TV went off so we rushed up to a warden's room to watch. I'm so proud of Malaysia!! Everyone is!

Just now, Nicole, Elizabeth, Jen Nee and I watched
Father of the Bride
at the cinema. It was very touching, very funny. Matt said he tried not to cry but he did. I cried throughout the show because the father in the movie reminded me of my dad. Wish my dad could have seen the show too.

Matt invited us to go to McDs to celebrate Cheng Hoe's birthday tomorrow morning.

Elizabeth is going on a Creative Arts camp, where they teach creative writing and stuff. I want to go! But you have to be selected by your school, apply or something like that.

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 17 May

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! In the morning, Jen Nee, Elizabeth, Matt, Cheng Hoe (birthday boy) and I went to McD for breakfast. When we came back, we each made Cheng Hoe a card. They took ideas from my book where I write the card stuff. Then we gave them to Cheng Hoe. This card is so funny—in front it reads: “This card can only be opened by someone kind, helpful, friendly, handsome, athletic …” and Cheng Hoe looked so flattered. Then he tried and tried to open the card while we laughed and laughed. At the back, it says, “Don't tell me you even tried!”

Jen Nee said it's not that fun going to McD with those guys 'coz there's not much of interest to talk about. She said she's more comfortable with Gaik Teong 'coz he's very funny. I enjoyed going to McD with them though. Oh ya, I think I unintentionally embarrassed Matt just now 'coz I asked him at which part of
Father of the Bride
he cried.

Went swimming with Jen Nee. I felt VERY frustrated 'coz I still can't swim! It's been five months! I'm abnormal.

Saw Matt at night and talked to him. He had to sit in the hostel office beside the assistant manager and study because he came back after the curfew last night.

Love, Pei Yi

Dear Mei Yee

OK. I've been feeling miserable about my class. I had the opportunity to choose Science classes. I didn't and I regret it. I don't know why I chose A4. Ignorance, I guess. I didn't really think that A4 would be a lousy class. I just thought of the subject combinations. And at that time, I wanted to be an accountant but I'm not so sure now. I'm very bothered 'coz I still don't know what to be and I'm already fifteen. I know it's no use crying over spilt milk. If it were you, you'd make the best out of what you had and not regret anything, right? And what if I want to be become something that needs science subjects but I can't? I don't know. I just keep feeling miserable 'bout it every waking moment! Also, I realized that I'm a person who tends to dwell on the past too much. I mean, I keep thinking if I'd done this and that, now I'd be happier, and if this had happened instead etc. Jen Nee says I dwell on the past too much.

The reason I say my class is lousy is 'coz they got such poor results in the mid-year exams. My marks were much, much higher than theirs—I'm not terribly pleased about that because it means that I'm not being challenged. I feel that they sort of have a common bond 'coz they get about the same marks. Can you understand what I mean? Never mind. I must get into a good junior college next time. I wish people had not intimidated me 'bout the standard of education here. It was partly the fear that I would not have been able to catch up which made my dad influence me to enter the Arts stream.

I think another reason I'm feeling terrible is that the Singapore
kiasuism
is getting to me badly. Every one of the scholars is becoming so clever while I'm stagnated, trapped and totally out-of-place in my class. I can't identify with any of my classmates; not that I want to. I know this class-problem will be solved when I go to a good JC but then I would've wasted two years of my precious teen life being unhappy, and not learning as much as I could have.

Elizabeth and I had a long talk after school. She said her class (in RGS) is really
kiasu.
One girl even wrote an essay “How To Make Your Friend Not Study”. Can you believe it? That's so terrible. The methods are stealing her notes (!!!), phoning her, making her stay back in school, telling her, “It's very easy, you can finish it all in one night”, and telling her, “I haven't studied at all”. I think it's all really stupid. Some of them go round asking, “What are you doing now? Have you studied this or that?”

Elizabeth and I went downstairs to the lounge and Leo came along so we asked the sissy to tell us about “a day in RI”. His class is shocking. They talk about marks and positions all the time. They even snatched the results from the teacher's hands when she said, “I'll tell you later.” His friend suggested stealing his rival Alfred's notes so that he wouldn't be able to study. And Leo pesters the teacher for 1 meager mark so that he can beat Alfred. According to him, Alfred beat him by 0.6 marks so he needs 0.7 marks to beat him! When the school bell rings, all the boys RUN back home to study. I think he's exaggerating a bit but for some people,
kiasuism
is really evident. Then Elizabeth turned to Leo and said, “So, you rushed home to talk to us, is it?” Leo quickly jumped up, said he had to study and ran off, and our pleas to ask him to stay fell on deaf ears.

People try to take the maximum number of subjects so that they reach their full potential and also try to take more subjects than everyone else. I mean, since we all have 24 hours a day, if someone can learn one more subject than everyone else, it's like they are ahead. So someone will boast that they take AEP, Higher Chinese or German as an extra subject while they are already taking all the hard subjects in the Science class. I keep thinking how I can spend my time optimally. I'm afraid that my brain will atrophy since I'm not maximizing it.

The other day, Jen Nee and I went to the SPCA to do volunteer work. It was fun, though nothing to do with animals. In fact I didn't even see any animals. We stacked booklets and papers into piles. Then I joined as a member for S$5 and bought a dog poster for S$1. I found S$3 on the way there so I donated that to the SPCA. We took one and a half hours to get to the SPCA 'coz of a little kid. First we got on Bus 152, which I knew went to the SPCA but I didn't know where to stop so I asked the bus driver. He didn't even know what SPCA was. Then a little Malay boy told us that he knows and that his father works there. I asked, as what? He replied, “Sandiwara”. Anyway we followed his directions, took Bus 231 and ended up in God-knows-where. Then we realized that he thought we meant SBC (Singapore Broadcasting Corp.), and “Sandiwara” is a Malay movie. So we took Bus 152 again and this bus driver was even more irritating 'coz he kept asking why we wanted to go to
kou he mau
(dog and cat).

Bye!

Love, Pei Yi

4

Eric

Monday 25 May

Dear Mei Yee

Today we got more results:

History 75% (I'm so happy)

Add. Maths 88% only (my dreams are shattered—someone from another class got 94%)

E. Maths 93% (Jen Nee and Alisa got lower than me for both Maths) Accounts 97%.

I think I'm top in my class for everything.

My Batchlings are organizing this year's Farewell for Sec 4s on 18 July. Jen Nee, Eric (he looks like Alvin the Chipmunk) and I are in charge of deco (decorations). Last night, Jen Nee and I discussed what to do. I was so enthusiastic 'bout it. Imagine, everyone looking at our deco the whole night!

Today I wrote a short story. At last, a successful story (with a steamy scene). I'm sending it to
The Student Today.
Love, Pei Yi

Thursday 28 May

Dear Mei Yee

Tomorrow is a BIG day for me. It might just change the REST of my life. I made a sudden decision—I'm going to ask Mrs Simons and Sister Elaine to let me change to Science 3.I really want to go. I feel I can cope with the extra work and can beat the girls there in Physics, Chem and Maths. I hope I get to change. All my hopes in my life will depend on TOMORROW.

Love, Pei Yi

Friday 29 May

Dear Mei Yee

I couldn't sleep till about 4 am thinking about how I'll make my argument to Mrs Simons and Sister Elaine. I wrote down all my points on a piece of paper. I said I wasn't being challenged, my full potential is not being reached, all the ASEAN scholars are in Science classes, what if I want to be a doctor in the future, I had the chance to choose a Science class at the beginning of the year but made the wrong choice, etc. I was so nervous yet hopeful when I went to talk to them.

Well, their reply was: NO—I can't go to 3S3. I should have known. Sister Elaine says it's not fair to the others—they can't give me special treatment. She says all the parents of the Arts classes will also ask for a change if she allows me to switch classes.

My dad came to my school. He and his two friends are on holiday driving down from BM. He felt sad that he had asked me to go to Arts class but I told him it's my own fault for not finding out more about the differences between Arts and Science classes. Anyway, I promised him that I'll be happy staying in 3A4 and will make the best of it. I'm trying to convince myself that being in my class is a blessing in disguise. I try to think of the pros instead of the cons. My sister used to think that pros and cons meant prostitutes and conmen.

Anyway, the pros are:

1  Besides learning Physics and Chem, I also learn Accounts

2  It's a chance for me to learn to be on my own (not being in the same class as hostel friends)

3  A wider circle of friends

4  Gives me incentive to do well in Add. Maths 'coz I want to prove that being in an Arts class doesn't mean you're even more stupid

I hate Sister Elaine.

My goals are:

1  Memorize all History essays

2  Do Add. Maths till confident can beat Science classes

3  Read Chemistry till perfect

4  Do all the above

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 14 June
(Back home in BM!)

Mei Yee!

I'm so used to writing to you that I'm writing even at home! Slept the whole day 'coz of diorhrea (can't spell). Will see you tomorrow.

Love, Pei Yi

Monday 15 June

Dear Mei Yee

I had diorhrea again. And still can't spell it. So sad had to postpone our plan till tomorrow.

Love, Pei Yi

Saturday 27 June
(Back from Malaysia)

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! It's 2.30 am. I miss home and family and you. I hope I get over it soon. Right now I feel my life is being divided into two, one part in BM and one here. Why can't I have both together?

Found out that a few others in my hostel who went back to Malaysia also had diorhrea (still can't spell)! I guess our immune systems lose their strength in Singapore! diarrhoea dioreah

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 28 June

Hi! It's now prep time. Must they have it even before school starts?! You know, I used to feel angry about people selling their stuff at inflated prices to foreigners 'coz it's cheating. Well, I don't anymore 'coz now I realize that they need to survive and also most people's attitude in life is to only care 'bout themselves and their families. And even though some people seem respectable and all, it's actually only a façade. After reading
The Inspector Calls,
I think it's very true. I think a lot of businessmen are greedy and selfish, and they cheat. Jen Nee told me her mother sometimes bluffs that the goods are from Japan so that the buyer will buy. Everyone in this world seems so terrible. Maybe now we don't think so 'coz we're not really exposed yet but probably we will when we're working.

Pei Yi

Monday 29 June

Dear Mei Yee

I read in the
Sunday Mail
about an old woman in England buying framed photos of Elvis Presley to rub his private part. They claim that it has healing powers and some even claimed to be cured! Isn't that preposterous?

Teens
has given me no reply 'bout the freelance writer stuff. I must try to use more difficult words so please tolerate my trying to use bombastic words in my letters.

Mrs Simons said American magazines like
Newsweek
and
Time
are very misleading 'coz they are not neutral. They try to influence you to their point of view, for example how they describe Saddam Hussein. I think America always appears to be so saintly but they actually do things to their advantage. But of course everyone does that.