My Forbidden Mentor (42 page)

Melissa smiled. “I’ll tell you later. I want to hear your news that couldn’t wait.”

A huge grin shown on Rose’s face. “Robert and I, he’s asked me to marry him again Melissa!”

“What? Oh, Rose that’s wonderful.” She reached over and they hugged. “I want to hear every last detail.”

Rose proceeded to tell Melissa of the events that had occurred over the past two weeks, including the seduction. She had literally attacked Robert in his carriage not two nights ago.

“And he didn’t fight you off?” Melissa asked in a teasing manner.

“I’ve got skills, darling, that would make you blush. I also have the advantage of knowing what Robert likes,” Rose confessed with confidence.

“I wish I had your enthusiasm,” Melissa replied.

“That’s it, love.”

“What are you talking about, Rose?” Melissa asked in wariness.

“Is there anything special that John likes, you know, sexually? Something he couldn’t resist?”

Melissa wasn’t sure why Rose’s boldness surprised her, it shouldn’t have. “Well, he likes everything Rose, I suppose, but he’s usually the initiator.”

“That’s it. This will work.”

“I’m listening.”

“First of all, you need to be the initiator. That will catch him off guard.” She saw Melissa shake her head in uncertainty but ignored her anyway. “And I’m going to give you a short lesson in attaining an instant reaction from a man, one I’m positive will make him talk to you.” Rose paused a second. “Although you may have to decipher between the groans.” Melissa looked strangely into her best friend’s face.

Rose went on, explaining in detail what she requested Melissa to perform, and she guaranteed her an optimistic reaction.

Two more weeks passed before Melissa was brave enough to try Rose’s suggestion. It took all of two weeks for Rose to fill Melissa with enough confidence to go through with it. Dressed in a sheer gown, Melissa was full of courage until the moment had finally arrived to get John’s attention. He already lay in bed while Melissa paced inside their dressing closet. I can’t do this, I’ll make a fool of myself she started hammering into her brain. Feeling defeated, her insecurities led to her whipping off the gown and trailing off to bed naked like she always did. That’s how John preferred her, only lately she could wear her riding habit to bed and he wouldn’t notice.

Sliding beneath the covers on her side of the bed, she lay there staring up at the ceiling. Coward, she called herself. She looked over to John, seeing the familiarity of his back facing her. Her eyes filled with tears staring into the blurring broadness of his upper body. Every night for three months now it had been the same distant motions, both turning away from each other in bed, and this was the hardest part to deal with. In the past, which seemed so far away now, lovemaking had dominated their nights, yet now words were barely spoken, and when they were, they were snapping and out of necessity.

She looked back toward the ceiling. How much worse could it get? And what about their baby? Would having a child make it better or worse? Could she stand to wait another three months to find out?

Melissa reached over to John out of desperation for physical contact, desperate for any contact, for an emotional connection between them had been non-existent these past few months as well.

John could feel the movement of the bed as he lay on his side facing away from his wife. It hadn’t been unusual for her to leave their bed in order to escape the resistance between them, but all of a sudden a warm hand glided over the side of his hip and down to his groin. His breath caught as he wondered what on earth she was trying to accomplish.

“Melissa, don’t,” John said quietly, hating to tell her that. Even so she continued stroking his awakening organ, which gradually increased from her touch.

It had been a long while and he missed her greatly, but their present circumstances kept him from giving into his ardent desires.

Another stab of pain pierced deep inside when he voiced those two disapproving words but she relinquished her pride for all she wanted was her husband. She was beyond proving her innocence of what he believed she was guilty. All she craved now were his affections, his loving touch, and his warm body pressing into hers. She needed to know they could still be together and be one, that they still loved each other despite the pain they were causing one another.

Her touch was exquisite and his manhood confirmed it by rising into the palm of her stroking hand and hardening into a torch of silken flesh. She wasn’t making this easy for him. “Melissa, you don’t have to do this,” he told her, unable to conceal his labored breathing.

“I want to,” she said in a shaky whisper.

Beyond the caressing of her hand upon him, the bed moved again and then her hand disappeared. He stayed still, thinking she had changed her mind and saved him from enduring the torture of blissful pain if she continued when suddenly he gasped as he felt her soft wet tongue gliding over the crown of his manhood. His eyes widened at her maneuver. Melissa had never touched him there with her mouth. He lifted onto one elbow, his opposite hand reaching down to lift her head away when her mouth closed over him. Shivers of pure pleasure dominated his body as her tongue joined in the up and down movement, her whole mouth tightening around him in a perfect pumping motion. His breathing turned heavy and gasping.

He watched her head bobbing below his belly, his hand that had reached for her balled into a fist at his hip. His chest escalated as his eyes traveled along her sensuous form. Her golden hair spread out across her back, loose strands hiding the curve of her soft full breasts that crushed against the side of his hip. His eyes followed over the shape of her enlarging belly, grazing along his buttocks, readily reminding him of the child they had created together, growing inside of her as his manhood was doing now.

His eyes shut as for the moment all he could concentrate on was his wife’s mouth and the sensations she was creating. Completely giving in, John twisted his body so he would lie flat on his back, making her position more comfortable.

His hands found their way into her golden streaming hair, gently putting pressure on her head in a downward motion. She responded by taking him further into her mouth. An uncontrollable groan emerged from him as he spiraled into ecstasy. Her movements sped up and automatically the groans he expelled increased. The insatiable rhythm of friction had brought him to an unusually abrupt peak. He knew he had reached his threshold and with strained effort he tried warning her. “I’m there, Melissa. I’m there.” Opening his eyes, he was determined to back out but her mouth held its grip.

She didn’t back off, which amplified the cresting effect. He pulsed continuously inside the heat of her mouth, the sublime feeling making him cry out as if he were in dire pain. The event had drained him, causing his hands to release their grip upon her head and fall to his sides. His eyes closed while his body experienced the last rippling forces.

As he lay sated and recuperating he sensed a splash of moisture striking his belly. His eyes opened to find Melissa leaning over him, her weight resting on the palm of her hands with eyes shut and tears falling from her golden lashes. John’s eyes watered at the sight of her and he shut his eyes once again, wondering how to deal with what had just happened.

“John, don’t you want me anymore?” he heard her ask before sniffles of weeping began.

He swallowed hard and opened his eyes. He’d never wanted anyone more in his life than his wife. He sat up, wrapped his arms around her, and held her in a tight embrace. “Of course I want you,” he rasped into her ear. “Lord, what have I done? To you, to us?” His mouth found hers and urgently they clung together. When their lips parted they continued holding each other.

In the silence of their bonding moment Melissa asked ever so softly against his ear, “Why don’t you believe that I love you, John, and have no desire for another man?”

His eyes squeezed tight. He’d hurt her, almost beyond repair, but she needed to trust in his judgment and tell him the complete truth. Hiding the fact that she’d even seen Jack again and didn’t say anything infuriated him. Could he have overreacted? Could he finally admit to himself that he was no better than his father, living out of jealous rage, treating his wife like she didn’t matter these past months?

His eyes opened and he lifted away to look into her worried features. “I do. I do believe you, sweetheart. I just haven’t acted like it.” He inhaled a deep breath of air. “Forgive me,” he said while resting his forehead against hers, not able to look into the hurt he had caused in those saddened eyes. Melissa moved away from him, leaving him to wonder what more had gone wrong. She was distancing herself again.

As she stretched to lie flat on the bed, she consoled the fragile expression on his face. “I have to lay down,” she smiled. “The baby is too heavy in that position.”

In relief he stretched out alongside her. “Are you chilled?” he asked since they were lying on top of the velvet coverlet.

“No, not at all,” she responded.

John lay on his side with his elbow bent and the palm of his hand supporting his head. His free hand went to the golden hair straying along her cheek. His fingers placed each strand behind her ear in slow motion. “Melissa.” The tone of his voice captured her attention. Their eyes caught and managed to hold. “I realize I’ve been a bastard of late. I was enraged that another man could get close to my wife, even under my own roof. It bothered me a great deal, to the point of blaming you for his actions.” He paused to scan her body and then his eyes met hers again. “You’re my life. Don’t you understand that nobody can or ever will take your place? I don’t want to lose you, Melissa. I know now for a fact that being married won’t stop another man from trying to get close to you. Jack has proven that.”

“I hadn’t known that by offering friendship to a man it would create other ideas in his head. That was not my intention.”

“I know that, and there isn’t anything wrong with having gentlemen friends. It’s inevitable being in our trade, but with sorts like Jack it’s different. Perhaps it started out as friendship but somewhere along the way it changed for him.” John’s hand went to her belly, smoothing over the roundness. “Sending you that bracelet made his message clear.”

“Why did you stay upset so long, John? Why didn’t we talk sooner?”

“Because my anger toward Jack wasn’t the only reason I was upset.” His hand left her belly so his fingers could thread through his long hair. “You lied to me, Melissa. I can’t tolerate lying. That bothered me more than what Jack did.”

Her breath hitched until she inquired, “What did I lie about, John? I told you the truth about Jack and I.”

“You told me afterward, when it had already come out in the open. By not telling me about seeing him in the beginning you lied,” he explained.

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d overreact to nothing more than a fleeting friendship,” she responded.

“Fleeting?” He chuckled. “Lord Melissa, it sounds like you’re describing an affair.”

“That didn’t come out right. I meant because,” she rushed out.

“I know what you meant,” he said, interrupting her. “But at the time my mind was insane. I wasn’t thinking clearly, so I imagined when you lied to me about running into Jack, perhaps an affair wasn’t so farfetched.”

She didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t seen it from his point of view. She should have known better than to lie to the most honest person she knew, but his reaction to the truth was what had scared her in the beginning. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a reason to think I would be involved with another man.”

John smiled. “Inside in my heart I knew you were only friends with Jack, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. You’re a married woman. He has no right to come after you so blatantly.” He was quiet for a moment. “And it doesn’t excuse you for not being straight with me, no matter what my wrath would entail. You’d have survived it, you’re tough. You’re a Blackburn now.” His hand touched her cheek again. “Please be honest with me from now on. I don’t want to go through this hell again. I love you.”

“I will, I promise. I love you as well, please believe that,” she pleaded.

“I do,” he murmured.

She watched as he laid his head on the pillow, his arm coming around her shoulders to pull her snug against him.

At last they were man and wife again, holding each other like they always had. Although exhausted emotionally, Melissa continued to crave physical intimacy. Giving John release hadn’t been enough for her. Unexpectedly his warm hand caressed along her belly.

John’s hand massaged the firm skin of her belly between them. “I don’t recall this being here before?” He grinned.

Melissa returned a smile. “It’s been there. It’s just gotten bigger.”

“How are you feeling these days?” he asked with genuine concern.

His concern touched her. He hadn’t asked about the baby in a month or so, and when he had it had sounded like a requirement he made himself do, but this time it sounded heartfelt. “Splendid. The baby has moved, by the way.”

His brows arched. “Really? A lot or once in a while?”

“Once in a while.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, not really. It feels different.” Having John’s interest again gave her comfort but thoughts of further intimacy caused her eyes to cast down before obtaining his attention again. “John?”