My Forbidden Mentor (20 page)

“What the hell were you thinking a moment ago?” Robert had a pretty good idea but he wanted John to be aware of how ridiculous his assumptions had been.

“What the hell were you doing a moment ago?” John slammed the words back into his face.

“You can’t possibly think I was coming on to Melissa?” Robert retorted. John was in worse shape than he figured if he’d gotten jealous of his best friend. Robert admitted to being admirably attracted to Melissa but that was as far as it went. Never in their lifetime had they taken advantage of each other when it came to women. That was a promise they had made to each other long ago and Robert wasn’t about to destroy their friendship over a woman. Melissa was special indeed, especially to John, and Robert couldn’t have been happier for him, which was why anger surfaced immediately when John had gotten an attitude with him.

John’s arms crossed over his broad chest in firm determination. The narrowing of his brewing eyes coincided with his clenched jaw. “What was I supposed to think?”

Robert almost laughed. “John, you’ve lost it. Yes I was touching her, only her hand, I might add, but instead of finding out the true reason why you insisted on jumping to conclusions.” By the time he finished, he was almost shouting.

John’s stance hadn’t changed. “Give me the true reason why it was necessary to touch what is mine?” His voice rose in volume as well.

Robert studied John in amazement. “Bloody hell, John, I thought you were possessive of your thoroughbreds.” John didn’t reply, just stared. Robert decided to tell him exactly how it was regarding this insane situation. “You know, it really riles me that you don’t trust me, your best friend. I would never, ever come on to your territory. You’ve got bloody balls to believe this about me after everything we’ve been through.”

His words must have made an impression for John’s eyes closed and his stance relaxed. Robert could see that he was feeling bad about losing control. Damn, what would have happened if Robert hadn’t been his best friend and confidant? John’s eyes softened as they opened. “John, Melissa and I were sharing a sympathetic moment toward our fathers that have passed on. She asked me about my father and when she found out he’d passed away she felt bad, that was all. I was only consoling her. You’ve lost a parent, you should understand that.”

“Oh, lord.” John shook his head, disgusted with himself. “Forgive me, Robert. I was out of line. This girl is,” John inhaled a deep breath. “She’s driving me mad.”

“I can see that,” Robert commented.

“I’m not sure how to handle this,” John confided, sounding lost.

“I’d say go with it and see where it takes you. The craziness can’t last forever,” Robert suggested.

“Lord, I hope not, or you may be visiting me in an insane asylum,” John said on a chuckle.

Robert reacted with a friendly smile. “Not to worry, old chap. We’ve already concluded you’re hooked, which explains a lot.”

“Yeah,” John agreed.

“John, you will have to contend with other men where Melissa is concerned, you might as well adjust to that fact. Why don’t you marry her? Being your wife could make a difference.” Robert stopped speaking when he heard footsteps nearing. He and John both looked toward the sound approaching them.

John knew instinctively it was Melissa by the staggered pace. “It’s Melissa,” he whispered. They both played innocent now that they’d resolved John’s impossible attitude.

Melissa had heard their voices rising from outside. Although she couldn’t make out their words with any clarity, it had sounded serious. Maybe talking business had riled some emotions but she didn’t like the sound of it. As soon as Chief was ready and packed it was the perfect excuse to relieve her curiosity. By the time she reached them, they appeared happy and content, both smiling at her profusely. Her gaze switched between the silent men and then she fixed her gaze on John. “Please excuse the interruption but Chief is ready now.”

“Good. Robert and I are finished here,” he said as he and Robert nodded to each other while John took Melissa’s hand and led her to the manor.

On the way Melissa couldn’t help herself. “John, were you and Robert arguing?”

“No. Why would you say that?”

“Well I could hear your voices out here.”

“We were having a discussion and it got a little heated, that’s all. Everything is solved now.”

“Good, because I’d hate to see you two not getting along. It wouldn’t be good for business or your personal well-being.”

“You’re absolutely right, but Robert and I always manage to solve our problems when they happen.” He pointed toward the entrance, “Watch your step,” he said, feeling relieved to be let out of that discussion with her.

John led her through the massive doorway of his home, showing her the sitting room first. Its masculine décor included an enormous fireplace and fine suede colored leather furniture. One large wall was graced with an elegant painting of a black stallion. They continued down the familiar entry way covered in thoroughbred paintings, disappearing briefly into the dining and kitchen areas until finally reaching the library at the end of the hallway. There they admired John’s many books for a few moments before John took her upstairs.

Occupying the second level were seven decorated chambers, each with their own color schemes, but basically earth tones. They came upon an eighth chamber set apart from the rest. John told her it occupied most of the backside of the manor. This chamber did not at all compare to the other seven. This one was lavish, plush with a cobalt blue color that covered almost every inch of the room. Except for a dresser, captain’s chest and bed frame, all made of walnut, the rich blue color dominated. As she explored every personal facet about him John’s aroma filled the air around her, making it all the easier to drown in the sea of color of his chamber. It was by far the most elegant bedchamber she’d ever seen.

Her eyes stopped on the bed. How could she have missed his bed? It didn’t lack for size, being twice the size of hers. She stepped next to the enormous bed, dying to touch the lush blue velvet spread adorning it. Her fingers brushed across the softness and her eyes closed to take in the feel of it more soundly. When she opened her eyes she gazed into the wide-open bed, drifting into its deep blue ocean effect, dreaming of lying upon it and floating away in its waves.

“Do you have a fondness for velvet?” John asked as he stood next to her.

Her eyes found his and her lips curled into a smile. “Yes, it’s so soft. It’s the softest texture I’ve ever felt.”

John grinned, admiring her innocent nature and realizing she hadn’t had luxuries all her life like he had. “Yes, but it’s not the softest texture I’ve ever felt.” A hand went to cover hers as it caressed the spread and his other hand went to cup her cheek, his fingertips tracing down her neck and along her collarbone. Trailing further down he took her clothed breast in the palm of his hand, showing her the softness he referred to.

Melissa’s eyes began to close when she remembered the chamber door was still open. What if someone were to walk by, she thought, and her eyes flew back open. “John, the door is open.”

His grin turned wicked as he glanced over his shoulder toward the door. “So it is,” he whispered back.

“John,” she said in a pleading tone. She left him to stand there while she went to explore a copper tub she’d spotted. It was tucked away in a private corner of the room and as she approached the tub she realized it seated two. She looked beyond the inviting tub to the window next to it, discovering the magnificent view you would have while bathing. It must be glorious at nighttime when the stars were out.

She didn’t hear him come up behind her but she could feel him and smelled his masculine scent as he neared. She backed away from the tub and turned to face a very large walk-in dressing room.

“I’ve never seen such a spectacular looking room before John. It’s heavenly,” she told him as she ventured into the closet and using her fingertips, skimmed along his varied wardrobe.

Had she known how convenient she’d made it for him to take advantage of her she never would have entered his dressing room, and had John been better prepared regarding contraceptives, he would have taken the opportunity, but nevertheless he followed her in the room. “I like it. It’s very accommodating,” he said in a silky tone, watching her back stiffen as he trapped her in a corner.

She swung around to face him, aware now how tempting she had made it for him for they were far from any open doors at present. Her arms folded over her breasts. “Now I know why you picked out this dress. It’s obvious blue is your favorite color,” she said, trying to say anything to distract him.

“Very perceptive. But I have another favorite color I’ve discovered recently,” he said, his fingers reaching into her loose strands of hair.

His mouth was so close to hers she couldn’t breath. Damn it, John, this isn’t the time or place, she voiced in silence. That door was still open to his chamber and anyone, the maid, Charles, anyone could walk in at any time. Having discovered that she wasn’t the quietest person when it came to lovemaking, she doubted they would go unheard. Even John had commented on how vocal she was of course he liked it so he didn’t mind one bit, but that didn’t mean the whole world had to know. She played along anyhow, ignoring her inner thoughts. “Really? What color is that?” she inquired, smiling in a way that would not give away her thoughts.

“Gold,” he told her, his devilish grin coming closer to conquer her smile.

“John,” she warned.

He groaned out his intent. “One kiss, sweet.” His lips touched hers. “Just one?” he asked this time.

She was breathless. “Let’s wait, John. I want to wait until we get home.” Where we can be free and as loud as we wish, she wanted to say.

His lips touched hers anyway, lingering in a closed mouth kiss. When they lifted, he warned her, “Melissa, when you look at me like you did in the stables, undressing me with your eyes, well, it gets me excited and I can’t help but want you at that very moment. Do you understand?”

“Does that mean I can’t look at you that way?”

“No, it means that if you do, you had better be prepared for an instant reaction from me. It flatters me when you look at me that way but sweetheart, it makes me want to touch you and feel you and do very private things to you.” He decided to curb his language for her naivety. He realized her misinterpretation wasn’t deliberate but he had to make her aware of the power she held.

“I see,” she said, using his usual response.

He backed off, taking her hand and leading her out of the dressing room. They stood before the copper tub. “We’ll wait until we get home, all right?” he smiled as he told her, feeling grateful they were out of that dark cozy corner. The two reasons he had to stop his advancement barely held him contained but he would not go against her wishes and he would not take another chance of getting her pregnant.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied, still in awe of his luxurious room. As she turned to step toward the main chamber door she saw a painting of a woman, a very beautiful woman, she hadn’t noticed before. Stepping by his washbasin, she studied the painting hanging on a secluded wall. Its size monopolized the wall it hung on. She let go of John’s hand and stepped closer to the painting.

She had to be one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen and one couldn’t ignore the intrigue of her presence. John’s mother. It had to be, for she had dark brown, almost black, hair and gray eyes, just like John’s.

John came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and gazed at the painting as well. “Your mother?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“She’s stunning, John.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Will you ever tell me about her? I’m curious.” He wasn’t smiling anymore as his expression had turned melancholy.

He stood there holding her and remained quiet for a long time. She faced the painting again, thinking she had pushed him too far with his mother again.

“What would you like to know?” he finally said.

“What was she like, her personality?” she asked, still surprised that he was willing to tell her.

His comfort level had grown with Melissa and he decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell her about his beloved mother. “She was a very vibrant woman, always active helping less fortunate people, especially women, but she always arranged a certain amount of time every day to spend with me.” Thinking back on those precious times brought a smile to his face. “Very adventurous. We were always involved in all kinds of activities.” His eyes closed recalling the activities they endeavored.

“We’d go fishing for hours and talk about anything. She taught me how to swim. She was an excellent swimmer. We’d go riding and when a clearing appeared, we’d race.” A light chuckled sounded from him. His eyes opened. “Although she won most of the time, she’d let me win once in awhile. I didn’t realize it at the time. We were very close.”

Melissa turned to look at him. Gazing into Melissa’s tender expression he remembered something his mother had told him before passing away. She advised him to marry for love. Truly love each other and be kind to one another. Have trust. At the time, being only twelve years old, it hadn’t meant too much, but he hadn’t thought about it again until this moment, until Melissa beheld him with that enamored look of hers. He continued, “Everyone liked her, something my father couldn’t handle.” His jawed tensed after mentioning his father.

A vast display of emotions graced his features and Melissa desperately wanted to know about her death but thought the timing would be wrong to ask. He’d opened up today, which was progress, so instead she smiled and replied, “She sounds wonderful, John.” Not expecting the moment to arouse such strong emotions she froze in her speech, unable to carry on a conversation as the situation seemed fragile. She shifted back to the painting of the woman whose son still mourned her.

John stared into Melissa’s profile. Talking of his mother, delicate emotions surfaced, straining to be freed. A sense of safety filled his senses when he searched her soft features. She made him feel he could talk to her about anything, just like his mother had, but his mother was gone and Melissa was here now. Trust, have trust, his mother had told him. He did trust Melissa, which was why he had an overwhelming urge to release some past pain and humiliation.

“Right before my mother died my parents fought a lot, and I witnessed it unfortunately.” He took a deep breath before going on. “Their fights were over my father’s jealousy of my mother. He stopped taking her to the balls she so enjoyed as he couldn’t handle any men around her at all.” He stopped, temporarily relating to his father’s wariness. Melissa didn’t move, keeping her gaze directed toward the woman he was revealing. “Eventually she never went anywhere and began drinking. Meanwhile, my father was out with other women.”

John stopped. Melissa could hear the shakiness in his voice. She remained unmoving except for placing her hands over his across her belly, gripping them with an understanding that she knew this wasn’t easy for him.

“One night mother was considerably drunk and upset with my father as he’d been out with another woman again and she couldn’t take it anymore. She’d waited for him at the top of the stairs when he came staggering up the stairs drunk.” His eyes closed and then opened as he went on. “I was down the hallway, looking out my chamber door at them. They were arguing.” His eyes squeezed shut once more, remembering the loud, screaming voices of his parents. “It was horrible,” John whispered, replaying the memory. “He began slapping her around and saying mean things to her. I was trying to get the courage to stop him but when I finally did, I didn’t get there in time. He’d hit her hard, so hard that she fell down the stairs.”

Melissa heard the panic in his voice turn to anger. “We both ran down the stairs to catch her but she reached the bottom before we got to her.” He paused. “She wasn’t dead then but she did have internal injuries and the doctor wasn’t hopeful. She only lived three days longer. I wasn’t allowed to see her on the last day. No one saw her. My father wouldn’t allow it. I’ve never forgiven him for what he did, I can’t.” A feeling of relief washed over him and his voice dropped an octave. “And I’ve never forgiven myself. I should have helped her sooner,” he said in a saddened tone.

Tears filled Melissa’s eyes. She blinked and single streams ran down her cheeks. When she turned to face him her compassion showed. She couldn’t decide whether to say something or simply hold him. Her arms went around him, holding him with a death grip. “You can’t blame yourself John,” she whispered into his ear.

He saw how emotional she was about his past and it made his heart ache even more. “Perhaps,” he whispered back, holding her just as tight.

“I know it wasn’t easy telling me. Thank you.” She had never been as close to anyone as she was to John at this moment.

All packed and loaded atop Chief, John and Melissa made their way to her cabin. Evening was approaching when they arrived, and while John unloaded Chief, Melissa prepared a bath for herself.

John took his time brushing down Chief while Melissa bathed. He used the extra time to decide how to approach the subject of birth control with her. Obviously she hadn’t thought about it herself or she would have said something, and their first time together had been so intense, so ravenous, neither had thought about anything but pent-up desires that had reached their limit.

He figured their chances were slim that she’d conceived, but nevertheless he knew it was his responsibility to make sure as he was the experienced one here. Already they had made love three unprotected times, three times which raised that slim chance that they had produced a child. His focusing gaze found his leather pouch lying on top of a bale of hay. He glared at the pouch while he was finishing the brushing of Chief as the pouch contained enough sponges to last a month. He then wondered, How do I approach her with this? How will she react?

When he found her lying on the bed she looked refreshed and sated from her bath.