My First Love (15 page)

And that’s when I realized that maybe he did understand what had gone wrong between us.

As he sat down beside me and gently draped his arm over my shoulder, a feeling of hope expanded in my chest. There was so much I wanted to tell him and ask him that I could hardly speak. “Chris, where have you been?” was the first thing that came out.

“Amy, I’ve missed you so much,” he said in a rush. “There are so many things I want to tell you. I meant it the other day when I said I wanted to set new goals. One of them was taking my college applications more seriously. I’ve spent the last two days visiting Stanford.”

“You’re kidding me,” I said, my eyes widening in surprise.

Chris shook his head. “I’d gotten the catalog, and I was worried it was the kind of place where you had to be pre-med or pre-law, or at least declare your major on your first day. But when I visited, I met some really cool people. The guy I roomed with is a sophomore, and he’s taken courses in practically every department in the school. In the summers he builds houses for low-income families for Habitat for Humanity, which is exactly what I did this summer.”

“That’s wonderful,” I said. “You could take art courses”—I was thinking of the sketch he had done of me—“or ecology?”

“Yep,” Chris said. “I liked Stanford so much, I’ve decided to apply early-decision.”

I was glad Chris was so excited. After all, it was what I’d wanted, wasn’t it? For him to take life more seriously. For both of us to be involved in things besides each other.

But another part of me was disappointed that he would be so far away, and that he could leave me behind so easily. “That’s really wonderful,” I said, trying to sound as glad for him as I could.

Chris took my hand and squeezed it. “I clocked it—ten hours on the highway between Palo Alto and Phoenix,” he said.

“And you know, Stanford has a great swimming program. Their coach will be scouting at the state competition.” His face was shy but full of excitement. “I think you’d love Stanford as much as I did, Amy. And if you do qualify for the National Merit Scholarship—”

“Whoa.” I put my hand up and laughed. “I think you’re letting your imagination get away from you here.” I was laughing, but the truth was that the idea sounded incredible and exciting and wonderful to me. If there was any way I could go to Stanford, I promised myself I would try.

“I know you can do it, Amy. And we still have the rest of
this year and a whole summer for meetings of the Astronomy Club.”

My smile faded at that moment. If Chris and I were going to be together, there were still some things that needed to be said. I took a deep breath. “Chris, I want to see you, but I can’t keep meeting you at midnight, then getting up for classes the next day. I want you in my life, but I won’t be happy if I can’t keep my grades up and swim well and—”

“I know,” he said quickly. “I’ve been selfish, and I know it. I wanted to spend every minute with you, and that’s not good for either of us.” He looked at me long and hard, with such tenderness that I felt a tingle travel the length of my body. “I’m ready to start all over if you are,” he said.

I took his hand again. “So … no more sneaking around?”

He nodded solemnly.

“And no more midnight visits to my window?”

Chris made a face, but nodded.

“And when we study together, we really study?”

He nodded again.

“And when we swim together we put on our bathing suits first?”

A rueful smile crept onto Chris’s face as he nodded again.

“Maybe we could try going to the movies or to dinner,” he suggested. “You know, things people do on ordinary dates.”

And then we shared another smile, because we both knew that nothing we did together would ever be ordinary.

“Here’s to the end of the Astronomy Club,” he said. He leaned forward and took my face in both his hands. “And the beginning of true love.”

When his lips met mine, I felt a rush of happiness that took my breath away. It was a kiss filled with promises. And with hope.