My Fair Duchess (A Once Upon A Rogue Novel Book 1) (37 page)

Her mother whirled toward her, her eyes glassy. Deep creases appeared in her brow. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s a long, sad tale and one I would rather not go into right now,” she said, plopping on her mother’s bed.

“Has Philip won the wager?”

Amelia shook her head. “The wager has been called off, Mother.”

All the color fled from her mother’s face. “You have to leave at once!” her mother said, reaching out and tugging at Amelia.

“Have you been in the laudanum?” Amelia demanded, shocked that her mother was trying to get her to leave and didn’t even have any questions for her.

Mother shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes.

Amelia allowed her gaze to drift around the room. The chamber was in a shambles. Rumpled bedcovers. Dead flowers in the vase. Stale water, by the smell in the air. And on the stand beside the bed several bottles littered the dark wood. The clear bottle with the red laudanum label made Amelia’s stomach clench, as much because it was empty as the fact that there were two more beside it. “Mother, how much laudanum have you been taking?”

Her mother’s mouth opened and closed as if she did not know what to say, and the tears in her eyes started to trickle down her cheeks. “I don’t know.”

“Oh, Mother!” Amelia cried, embracing her.

But her mother squirmed out of her hold. “Amelia, you have to leave.”

“No,” Amelia said. “I just got home, and I am very tired. And by the looks of it”―she glanced around the filthy room with a shudder―“I’m here none too soon. I will not move even an inch until you tell me what is going on.”

Her mother’s gaze grew wide and wild. “You must leave. You must!” Her voice had risen to a hysterical level.

Fear blossomed in Amelia’s belly. Something was terribly, horribly wrong, and she did not think it was merely the laudanum. “I’m sorry, Mother. I don’t wish to defy you, but I feel I must.”

Her mother pulled and tugged at her hair, an expression of twisted agitation crossing her face. “But if you don’t go now, he may see you.”

“He who? There is absolutely no hope of you getting me to leave if you are not honest with me.” Though there was no hope she was leaving anyway, she didn’t think trickery in this instance would harm her mother.

Oh dear heaven! Had that been the logic Colin had used when he decided not to tell her of the will? Her breath caught. Had she allowed her anger to cloud her good sense and make her abandon a man who loved her? Or would that be
had
loved her? After all, why would he love a woman who refused to believe him and called him twisted and―

“Amelia!” her mother screeched. “This is no time for your daydreaming.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, mortified to have drifted when her mother so obviously needed her. Amelia shoved all thoughts of her problems with Colin away. She had to concentrate on her mother. “What were you saying?”

“If I tell you, you must promise to go!”

Normally, Amelia would never give a promise then break it, but these were not normal circumstances. Perhaps Colin had similar thoughts? She squeezed the bridge of her nose. Later. He would have to wait for later

“All right. I promise to go.”
Eventually.
She sucked in her lip with guilt.

“Lord Huntington will be arriving soon, and I am trying to decide which dress to wear. Now, please…” Mother pulled her by the arm. “Go!”

Amelia gripped her mother’s hand. “Why is he coming here? And don’t tell me you care for him. You look scared, not in love.”

Her mother’s face turned a deep shade of red, and her hands twisted together. “I need to sit.”

Amelia swept the gowns aside and waved her mother to the bed. “Why is he coming here?”

“I hope to convince him to bed me,” Mother replied, glancing down.

“Excuse me?” Amelia heard herself gasp.

“You heard me, Amelia.” Mother’s voice was sharp. “I intend to seduce the man. I know you understand what that means.”

Heat flooded Amelia’s face as anger poured through her. “I understand,” she said quietly, staring at the cascade of graying hair that covered her mother’s face. “But why? Why would you do such a thing?”

“I don’t want to bed the wretched man―I have to. Especially now that the wager can no longer save us. I have to make him want me still.”

“Still?” Amelia felt as if the world was tilting.

“Yes. Still. We’ve― Well, you know what I am trying to say.”

Amelia forced herself to nod. She was going to be ill. Her mother had slept with Lord Huntington.

“It was the only way he would agree not to call in the notes the bank holds over the property and all the loans your father and Philip took out. If the bank demands full payment, Philip would be ruined.
We
would be ruined. I could not let that happen to Philip. He’s tried so hard to set things to right.”

Amelia’s heart thudded at the astonishing news. She took her mother’s hand and squeezed. “Go on, please.”

“I, well, I did not offer myself to him. He suggested the bank might forget the debt for a while if I, well… You understand?”

Amelia nodded once more, a bitter taste filling her mouth.

“It’s been going on since almost right after your father died. I thought I would go mad with how disgusted I felt with myself, so I started taking laudanum. It dulled my thoughts and made me numb. But when the Duke of Aversley came and offered that wager, I knew if I could get you away from here, you would win the wager and we would be saved. There’s no time now, but later you must tell me what happened. Perhaps we can fix it?”

 “I don’t think so,” Amelia said, barely containing a strangled sob. Maybe, if she went back to see Colin and told him she had thought about everything clearly and how sorry she was. She trembled with fear that he would refuse to even see her. Gulping, she said, “His Grace and I did not leave things well. I cannot give you hope of an alliance.” She glanced down at her hands. “I’m a fool.”

A finger came under Amelia’s chin and raised it until she was looking into her mother’s eyes. “You are not a fool. You are in love. I hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes.” With those words, heavily laden with tension, her mother stood and glanced down at Amelia. “Now you must leave! He will be here soon.”

Amelia jumped to her feet, her heart leaping into her throat. “You cannot allow that man to touch you again. I won’t let you.”

“It makes my skin crawl to think of his hands on me again, Amelia, but what else can I do?”

Amelia suddenly remembered seeing Lord Huntington in Hyde Park and later at the ball. “Mother, I saw him in London. Whatever was he doing there?”

“I suspect he went to spy on you. He was furious when he found out you were on the marriage mart. Amelia, I am trying to seduce him into wanting me again because he decided some time back that he now wants you. I will not allow that man to touch you, but he has vowed to have the bank call in all of Philip’s notes if you do not acquiesce.”

Amelia’s stomach roiled with nausea, but she gasped. “The Duke of Aversley will pay Philip’s debts,” Amelia cried out, relief flooding her. Even if he now detested her, he had set out to do all of this for Philip, after all. “His Grace would never allow Lord Huntington to ruin Philip.”

“It’s not only Philip’s debt he is threatening us with. He has threatened to tell everyone of my bedding him.”

Amelia gaped at her mother, who had buried her face in her hands. “I could live with my name and reputation being ruined, but you know as well as I do that if I am ruined you are as good as ruined, as well. For that, I fear Philip would kill the man and end up being executed himself. I cannot allow any of that to happen.”

“Do you understand now? You must go!” She began to pull on Amelia to try to get her to stand up.

Silently, Amelia stayed her mother’s trembling hands while trying to force down the rage rising inside of her. Anger would not help them now. Dear God. She pressed her hand to her throat as a knock resounded on the door below.

“He’s here,” her mother said in a horrified whisper as she yanked on a violet dress and commanded Amelia to hook it. Amelia raised her shaking hands to the fastenings, but could not get her fingers to work. She knew why. Her heart seemed to cease beating, as the terrible truth sunk in. She could not allow her mother to sacrifice herself to that man again. Amelia swallowed the bitterness in her mouth. She had no idea what she was going to do, but she would do what she must to protect her mother and keep that man’s hands off them both.

“Go hide in your room,” her mother hissed.

Amelia nodded, but she had no intention of doing anything of the sort. The moment her mother left the room, Amelia jumped up and tiptoed out the door. In the hallway, she grabbed their large candelabra. She would clobber the man with it before he would lay one finger on her or her mother. As she started down the stairs, the murmur of voices drifted up to her.

“My lady, Lord Huntington bade me to tell you he cannot come today or likely for a week. He took a fall from his horse and hurt his back.”

Shaking, Amelia sank onto the step and pressed her free hand over her mouth to muffle her cry. One week. She had one week to come up with a plan to save them.

Colin woke, stiff, drenched in sweat and unsure if it was day or night. One thing he did know for certain was he was in his bed. The smells of leather and wood in the room were familiar and the feel of the bed was unmistakably his. He blinked several times, realizing his eye only throbbed a bit. After a moment, his eyes adjusted to the darkness and his vision cleared enough that he could make out his room. The curtains had been drawn tight, but sunlight peeked through the bottom edge where the heavy drapes met the hardwood floor. So daytime it was.

He sat up, clenching his teeth and preparing for another bout of dizziness, but surprisingly he felt steady.

“Feeling better?” a feminine voice murmured from the dark corner near the window.

Colin’s first thought was of Amelia, but when he looked, he saw his mother. His momentary happiness was replaced with shock, along with a vague memory of passing out in the driveway.

“How did I get here?” he asked, swinging his legs over his bed but not standing.

His mother rose and walked toward him. “Lord Harthorne helped my coachman load you into the carriage and then carry you upstairs.”

“Your past lover didn’t offer to help?”

She flinched but said, “He offered to help, but I declined.”

Damn, he felt like the biggest arse. “I’m sorry. I should not have said that.”

“No, it’s all right. We have a lot to discuss, but you have every right to still be angry. I’m still angry with myself. I think I always will be.”

Colin wasn’t sure what to say to this woman before him. She was his mother, yet she was acting nothing like the mother he had known all his life. By God, she really did seem as if she was changing. Softening. He glanced down at his bedclothes. “Who dressed me and cleaned me up?”

She shrugged indifferently, though now that she was close, the lines of worry and the dark circles under her eyes were obvious. She cleared her throat. “I changed you and washed the blood off.”

“You cared for me?” Surprise spiraled through him. “That’s a first, though much appreciated. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but why did you care for me? Do you want something?”

“I want to make amends, Colin. Nothing more.”

“There is no need,” he said, feeling suddenly vulnerable with how his chest suddenly ached with a few hopeful words from her. “I’ve turned out perfectly all right without anything from you.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, I can see that. You got yourself a split lip, eye, and according to Dr. Parks―”

“Dr. Parks was here?” Colin asked with a frown.

“Yes. Two days ago when you passed out, and yesterday to see how you were doing. He says your eye will heal perfectly, except for perhaps a small scar, and the concussion… well, he said we would only know if that had lasting effects once you woke and we could gauge your memory. What do you remember?” She leaned in and peered at him, the most foreign look of motherly concern on her face.

“Unfortunately, everything,” he replied dryly. His gut turning with thoughts of Amelia.

 His mother smiled gently. “Your aunt told me about the girl and what has happened.”

The ache of moments ago was nothing compared to the twisting pain that gripped his tattered heart now. He hoped to God Amelia could somehow forgive him and find it in her heart to love him. In fact, he couldn’t believe he had wasted two days unconscious. He had to go see her immediately and try somehow to convince her that he loved her and wanted to marry her only
for her
and not because of the will.

He stood up and gazed at his mother. “Why did you stay here with me for two nights?”

She came to him. “I told you. I want to make amends and you were hurt.”

“No.” He shook his head. He needed more than that. “Why did you stay? You did not have to. In all the years of my childhood you never raised a hand to tend to me. Why now?”

She sniffed and tears glistened in her eyes. “Because I love you.”