My Everything - Seth & Amber (23 page)

“He doesn’t have a bed?” Chelle asked as she
stepped out of the dressing room.

“Nope, he sleeps on the floor,” Amber
answered.

“Why doesn’t he just buy a bed?” Katie asked,
reaching for baby Mya again.

“I don’t know, and has anyone ever told you
you’re a baby hog?” Amber said as she gave the baby back to
Katie.

“Yes, people tell me that all the time,”
Katie said, smiling as if it was a point of pride.

“So how are you doing with everything else?
Are they any closer to catching the person responsible for all the
break-ins?” Chelle asked as she took a seat on the loveseat next to
Katie.

“No, they’re not,” Amber admitted dejectedly.
“Officer Williams went and talked to Brad, that guy I went out with
a few weeks ago. He had airtight alibis for both the store and my
duplex break-ins, though. Not that I thought even for a second that
he had anything to do with it. They were just following up on every
possible lead.”

“Are you scared?” Katie asked, her tone
serious.

“No. I think I would be if Seth wasn’t
around. Somehow I just feel like he wouldn’t let anything happen to
me.” Amber knew that that may sound absurd, but it was the
truth.

“I
know
he wouldn’t let anything
happen to you,” Katie stated as if it were a fact. “I don’t know
what his deal is or why he is holding back. However, I do know two
things to be true: he’s a Sloan, and he loves you. Those two things
combine to mean that he will do everything in his power to keep you
safe.”

Amber felt her mouth drop open at Katie’s
words. Her heart skipped a beat at the possibility that Seth loved
her; even though she knew Katie had no basis for her declaration.
“Katie, that’s insane. Seth does not
love
me. He avoids me,
and he barely speaks to me.”

“I know. I didn’t say he was the master
communicator, or that he doesn’t have abandonment issues."

Katie paused, waiting until she caught
Amber's eye, her gaze conveying her absolute seriousness as she
continued, "Amber, do you remember when you pulled me aside before
Sophie’s wedding? When you told me that I was a lucky girl and that
you knew from the way Jason had been looking at me all weekend how
much he cared about me? Because I do. I remember your exact
words.

“You said, 'Sometimes when things are right
in front of us, we don't appreciate them. But if I ever had a man
look at me the way that Jason looks at you, I would think twice
about letting him go.'

“Well, I am telling you that Seth looks at
you like he is head over heels, madly in love with you. It’s
intense. At Thanksgiving I thought I was going to have to spray you
both down with a hose to cool you off from the heat your stares
were causing.”

Amber looked at Chelle, who had been quiet
during Katie’s speech. Chelle just shrugged and said, “I think
Katie’s right. I think he really cares about you, but I’m not sure
he knows how to deal with what he feels.”

Amber’s phone beeped and she ignored it. Her
mom had been calling all day but she hadn’t had the time (or
energy!) to talk to her. Amber had a lot on her plate and sometimes
she needed to limit the amount of energy she expended dealing with
her mom. This was one of those times.

Chelle gathered up baby Mya’s diaper bag and
they all said their goodbyes. Amber tried to mentally dismiss what
her friends had said. She was pretty sure that what they were
seeing was just lust, nothing more. Seth couldn’t
love
her.

Could he?

God.

Could
he?

--- ~ ---

“How’s Amber?” Bobby asked Seth as they
waited in Richard’s Formal Wear for their tuxes.

“Fine.” Seth’s clipped tone conveyed clearly
that he didn’t want to discuss the topic of Amber.

“She must have been pretty shaken up about
her apartment,” Alex continued, obviously not picking up the cues
Seth was sending out about wanting to drop the subject.

Or just flat out ignoring them.

Seth was not in the mood to deal with his
brothers. Not only had he not really slept at all for the entire
week Amber had been staying at his apartment, but also his shoulder
was killing him from spending every night on the floor. Common
sense would dictate that he should just go out and buy a bed. That
was logical. Seth knew it.

But Seth also knew that he was only a man.
His convictions might be strong, but he wasn’t delusional. The
temptation would be too great if he knew Amber was sleeping in his
bed
every night. It was bad enough that she was out on his
couch.

The bell that hung over Richard's front door
sounded and Seth looked over to see Jason and Riley walking in. He
figured that they were there to pick up their tuxes as well. At
least, they God damn better be, he thought. If they stopped by for
the express purpose of interrogating me about Amber, they're gonna
quickly find out that was a wasted trip.

Jason sat down next to Seth and gave him a
jaunty wink. “You look like shit. Not getting much sleep now that
Amber’s moved in?”

Seth ignored Jason’s comment, and his
wink.

“How
are
things going over at Casa de
Sloan-and-Temporarily-Slash-Webb?” Jason persisted.

“Fine,” Seth replied calmly, continuing to
stare straight ahead. He was going about this all wrong. If his
brothers saw that they were getting to him, they would never drop
it.

“How’s Amber?” Riley asked.

“Fine.” Seth maintained his cool
demeanor.

Alex turned to Seth. “I have a question. Do
you know she’s fine because you’ve talked to her and she’s told
you? Or did you glean that piece of intel through osmosis?”

“She’s fine.” Seth did not feel like he
needed to explain his actions to his little brothers. She was
alive. She was safe. She was fine.

Richard, the owner of the formal wear shop,
came out carrying Alex, Jason and Bobby’s tuxes. He instructed the
three men to go try them on to make sure that they didn’t need any
more alterations.

When his three youngest brothers went into
the dressing room Riley turned to Seth and, speaking quietly,
asked, “Did you think about what I said? Have you had a chance to
talk to her?”

“We talked about DC the first night she was
there.” Seth told his brother.

Riley’s brows lifted in surprise. “Did you
tell her about mom and the field trip?”

Seth nodded.

“And?” Riley looked at Seth like he should
have more to say.

“And nothing.”

“What do you
mean
nothing? She’s been
there for almost a week.”

Seth remained quiet. He knew how long Amber
had been sleeping a few feet away from him. He couldn’t think of
anything else.

“You haven’t talked to her since the first
night she got there?” Riley asked looking at Seth like that was
impossible.

“I’m giving her space.” Seth knew Amber was
going through a lot and he had forced her to move in with him. He
wasn’t going to force her to hang out with him too.

“Are you giving
her
space or
you
space? Do you even know if she wants space?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Seth stated.

“Why?” Riley asked.

If there were one brother that Seth would
actually talk to about this, it would be Riley. Not only was he the
closest in age and they had always been close growing up, but Riley
had been in the military for almost as long as Seth had. If anyone
would understand, it would be Riley.

“You know what it’s like over there Riley.”
Seth leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “You do
things and see things that change you. I can't put that on her.
Amber deserves a hell of a lot better than me.”

“So you’re saying Chelle deserves a hell of a
lot better than me?”

Seth knew the point his brother was trying to
make, but it was different.

“It’s not the same. Chelle knew you before
and loved you.”

“It is the same. How long she loved me isn’t
the point and you know it. It’s not about the past, it’s about the
present. If you care about her like I think you do, don’t let the
past dictate your future. I learned that lesson in time to be with
Chelle. I hope you figure out your shit before it’s too late.”

Alex and Jason came out in their tuxes.
Before the swell of pride Seth felt at seeing his little brothers
looking so fine and formal even had a chance to swell through his
chest, his brothers started arguing over who looked better. Seth
shook his head, the ghost of a smile playing around his lips.

He sat back on the couch and tried to absorb
what Riley had just told him. He had had a lot of time to think,
over the last week, while he wallowed in his self-imposed bedroom
exile. After he and Amber had talked, he had realized something
important about his feelings about Amber leaving in the middle of
the night in DC – namely, that the fact he had been holding it
against her all these years had far more to do with his mom than it
did with her.

He also had to admit to himself –
reluctantly, because it scared the hell out of him – that he was
really enjoying the knowledge that he would be coming home to Amber
every night. He carried it with him throughout the day, like a
small touchstone that he used to anchor himself to something sure,
something warm, something positive. Anytime he felt frustrated,
annoyed, angry...hell, even bored...anything negative – all he had
to do was cast his mind to that single fact: when he arrived home,
Amber would be there. Instant contentment.

As much as he tried to warn himself,
increasingly harshly, that it was stupid to do that and he
shouldn't get used to it...well, it didn't matter. Seth's mind had
a mind of its own, so to speak, and it seemed hell-bent on thinking
about Amber – whether the logical part of Seth's brain approved of
it or not.

Oh, sure, he justified his feelings. He had
been trying to convince himself, for instance, that it was just
because he knew that if she was staying with him, then she was
safe. And, yes, that was definitely part of it. But the truth was,
he just liked having her there. He had to admit it to himself. If
you couldn't be honest with yourself, what did you have? He liked
having Amber Webb living in his condo, and that was the God's
honest truth.

And that had surprised him at first, because
he was a very private person and normally did not like anyone in
his space. Apparently, like so many other things in his emotional
life when it came to Amber, she was the exception to the rule.
Hell, it seemed that when it came to Amber and his heart, there
were no rules.

The truth was, though, that it didn’t change
anything. Seth knew that nothing he felt, nothing Riley said, and
nothing Amber thought could change who he was and the dark places
he had been. He wasn’t going to bring that into Amber’s life.
Period.

She deserved better.

Amber pulled the soft fabric slowly through
the sewing machine as she sang along to the Internet radio station
she was listening to on her computer. She had set up her
workstation beside the large bay windows in Seth’s apartment. As
she sat listening to music, working on Chelle’s dress, she realized
that, in that moment, she was happy. Really, truly happy.

This was odd, considering her current life
circumstances, but Amber decided to just go with it and enjoy the
happy. She turned up the music on her laptop and removed the pins
from the left side of the dress so she could run it through the
sewing machine.

Just as she started feeding the material
under the needle, her phone rang. She took her foot off the pedal
as she reached for her purse. When she saw the screen, she knew her
temporary moment of bliss was now officially over.

“Hi, Mom,” Amber chirped, trying to use false
cheer to conceal her disappointment at the interruption.

“Hi, Sweetie,” her mom whispered.

“Is everything okay?” Amber asked as her
chest tightened with concern.

“Oh, yeah, it's fine.” Although her mother’s
voice was barely audible, Amber could still hear the tension below
the surface. “I just don’t want to wake Bubba.”

Amber tried not to roll her eyes. Seriously?
Bubba?

“Where are you, Mom?”

“Um…well…see…I was actually calling to see if
you could…”

Amber waited, knowing that her mother was
probably going to ask her to send money.

“Um, it’s just...” the volume of her mother's
voice dropped ever lower, and Amber struggled to follow along. She
could barely make out the words.

Amber reached over and turned the volume down
on her laptop. She covered her other ear to try to block out any
other noise. She could tell that her mom was whispering something
but she couldn’t make it out.

“Mom, I can’t hear you.”

Her mom continued speaking, but the volume
was still low enough to preclude Amber's understanding of her
mother's pleas. Panic rose inside of her. If it was money that her
mom wanted, then she would just ask. She wouldn’t try to be quiet.
Something was wrong.

“Mom, can you go in another room to talk?”
Amber's hands shook, but she strove to keep her voice even. The
last thing she needed was for her own panic to make her mother's
situation even more volatile. “I can’t hear you.”

Amber heard shuffling on the other end of the
line, and then what sounded like a door closing. Next, she heard
what sounded like a faucet being turned on.

“Now can you hear me?” Her mother asked. She
was still whispering, but now it was intelligible.

“Yes.”

“I think, um...I was wondering if maybe you
could…”

“What, Mom? What do you need?” Amber stood
and started pacing around the room like a caged panther, coiled
tension coming off of her in waves. She couldn’t sit still. She
felt too anxious.