My Estranged Lover (Middlemarch Shifters Book 5) (6 page)

“Never mind,” Emily said. “I’m sure I can find someone to replace me.”

“I thought you’d enjoy dressing as a zombie,” Saber said. “But if you want to race, that’s fine. I’ll enjoy looking at your legs more than zombie makeup.”

The couple grinned at each other, and Caroline saw their open love and affection for each other. Their happiness made her sad, made her envious, made her want to cry. Marsh had used to look at her like that. She glanced at her husband and her breath caught. That wasn’t indifference she saw in his eyes.

Seeing the yearning in Caroline was a punch to the chest. A strike that laid open every mistake he’d made in their relationship. In that instant, he knew his parents were wrong. He should’ve gone with his gut instincts and honesty. Now it was too late.

“I started to tell you about the craft fair that’s starting,” Emily said and set her cutlery across her empty plate.

“Has everyone eaten enough?” Saber asked. At their nods, he stood and cleared the dirty plates. “Why don’t we let the ladies relax and we’ll take care of the cleanup.”

Marsh had no problem with that. He helped around the home as much as he could, although working long hours meant he missed most meals with Caroline and the boys. He stood and collected several empty plates before following Leo inside the house.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Saber said. “Felix and Leo will do the dishes while we speak in my office.”

Marsh froze and forced a smile. “Why do I feel as if I’ve been called to the principal’s office?”

“Believe me, if the elders hadn’t forced me into this conversation…” A heavy sigh gusted from him, and he gestured for Marsh to follow. “We don’t have long to speak before the women wonder where we are.”

Saber strode down a passage and opened the first door. He gestured Marsh inside and closed it behind them with a firm click. “Grab a seat.”

Marsh dropped onto the wooden chair set in front of the large desk. “Sounds serious.” He glanced at the bookcases and the display of livestock awards before turning his attention back to Saber. “What’s wrong?”

Saber scowled. “I didn’t want to become involved, but the elders insisted. It has come to the Feline council’s attention that Caroline intends to leave you and take your children to the city.”

“The local grapevine works fast. My mother, I presume.” Marsh stared at Saber without blinking, his pulse rate kicking into choppy at issuing the silent challenge. “Most people think a man’s marriage is no one else’s business except his own.”

“I agree,” Saber said. “But I want to offer my help, regardless. I can see you love her. I heard Caroline knows nothing of the feline community. Is that right?”

Tension banded Marsh’s chest, tightening his muscles until his feline longed for movement. Before the thought fully formed, he sprang to his feet and started to pace. “Yes. It’s true.”

“Why? Women hate secrets. I know that from experience.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’ve known that for years, but now I’ve lied to my wife I’m stuck. We’ve been married for six years. The longer I kept things from Caroline, the harder it was to tell her the truth. That I’m a feline shifter and ours sons have inherited to ability to shift.”

“You can’t let Caroline take them to the city. My niece shifted, and she has just turned six. What happens if they shift in the city?”

“I can’t take the boys from Caroline. She’s their mother.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

“My parents weren’t in favor of the marriage. Caroline got pregnant. I loved her and wanted to get married. My parents wanted a feline daughter-in-law. They tried to get me to change my mind, said the marriage would fail, and I’d be placing the Middlemarch felines in danger if I told Caroline the truth. They went on and on and I gave in for the sake of peace. A mistake. I shouldn’t have taken their advice.” Marsh huffed out a breath that ended in a cynical laugh. “It was a miscalculation returning to Middlemarch. Dad expects me to work long hours and refuses to pay me—” Marsh dragged his right hand through his hair and resumed pacing.

“Your brother Angus.”

Marsh froze and swung to face Saber. “What about Angus?”

“Rumor says your parents were distraught when he died, that they expected him to take over the farm.”

“Yes.”

“They blame you for the accident?”

“Yes.” The reply emerged through his clenched teeth.

“What about getting a job elsewhere?” Saber asked.

“I tried to get a job on another property. Dad refused to give me a reference. In fact, he rang the owners of the cattle station and told them I was inexperienced and untrustworthy, that he had to supervise me since I couldn’t think for myself.”

Shock showed in Saber’s face before he wiped his expression clean. “All right. Answer me this. Do you want to save your marriage?”

“Yes. I love Caroline. There is no else for me. I wanted her from the first moment I saw her, and my mind hasn’t changed.”

“She isn’t marked. She doesn’t smell feline, not like Emily.”

“When I promised my parents I’d keep the truth from Caroline, it meant I couldn’t mark her.”

“Caroline isn’t your true mate.”

Anguish filled Marsh, torment at the mistakes he’d made with his marriage and their lives. “Caroline is my mate.”

“Saul’s uncle is hiring,” Saber said, changing the subject. “You remember Saul Sinclair?”

“Yes, although I haven’t seen him for ages.”

“Cam Sinclair has a farm in the Mackenzie region. Felix worked there for a few months and now that he’s returned to Middlemarch, Cam is looking for a replacement. He wants someone experienced who is willing to learn new things and work with others. His preference is for a married couple since his wife needs help with cooking. Wages are decent, competitive with other stations, and he offers a five-day week and accommodation. The station is remote, so they run a correspondence school for the kids. I think Felix said there were ten children and one of the other wives is a teacher. She runs the schooling side. Are you interested? You have a partial degree and you’re a hard worker. I could put a word in for you with Cam.”

Marsh sank back onto the chair and stared at Saber, almost too afraid to take his words at face value.

“Do you think Caroline would consider giving your marriage a second chance if you made a new start?”

“A wage and a five-day workweek?”

“I presume you’d need to work longer hours during lambing and other busy times of the year, but, according to Felix, Cam thinks the men work better with regular time off.”

“How long do I have to make my decision?”

“Not long. If Cam doesn’t hear from me by Friday, he intends to place an ad in the national farming magazine.”

“Two days. I’ll talk to Caroline tonight. Is it possible for me to talk to Cam Sinclair?”

“I’ll give you his number, so you can ring him tomorrow. Take Felix aside and ask your questions. He can tell you about the living situation and the other men.”

Marsh nodded, a surge of hope lifting his chin. “I’ll do that. Thanks.” He extended his hand and Saber clasped it in a firm shake.

Saber stood. “My final word of advice—tell Caroline the truth. Your parents were wrong to insist on you keeping this secret. If Caroline is your mate, she deserves the truth.”

* * * * *

Caroline sat in the passenger seat of the old Toyota and wished she’d met Emily, Tomasine and Isabella earlier, rather than staying in the nodding-acquaintance zone. They’d been nice to her, treated her as worthy rather than an encumbrance added to the family via marriage. They were exuberant but a trifle bossy. She smiled in the darkness, ruefulness filling her. Somehow, she’d committed to a shopping trip to Dunedin tomorrow when she’d intended to pack up their belongings and leave Middlemarch for good.

One extra day wouldn’t matter. She still had her plan.

Marsh pulled up in front of the farmhouse and she found it difficult not to compare their home with the Mitchells’ place. In the daylight, the white paint peeling from the old timber, the sloping floorboards of the interior, drew the eye.

“You get the lights,” he said. “Both the boys are asleep. I’ll carry them inside.”

“They had fun.” It had been good seeing them playing with young Sylvie, and even better, they’d behaved.

“I think we all enjoyed the outing.”

Caroline sensed him looking in her direction, despite her lack of clear vision. Clouds shrouded the half-moon, the nip in the air promising the arrival of winter. “The Mitchells are a lovely family.”

“They are. I used to spend time there after school if Mum and Dad were busy. That’s when their Uncle Herbert was still alive. He took over after their parents died.”

“He did a good job.” Caroline hurried up the three uneven steps to the front door and pushed it open. She reached for the light. Illumination filled the doorway, then a loud pop sounded as the bulb died a violent death. “Great. We’re out of replacement bulbs.”

“Doesn’t matter. My night vision is good,” Marsh said. “Caroline, do we have any of that hot chocolate left? I wondered if we could talk once the boys are in bed.”

Tension gripped her without warning. She didn’t want to talk any longer, not when she’d come to a decision. She opened her mouth to say no, then decided she owed him the courtesy of an adult discussion. “Will milo do?” The malty chocolate drink was one of the few food items left in the cupboard. If she intended to stay another day, they’d need to shop for food. A problem since they had no money in the check account.

“Perfect,” he said, his tone warm with approval.

She went mushy inside, hungry for every scrap of affection. Marsh, he’d swept her off her feet, and she still loved him. It was their situation—the constant battle to live and Marsh’s long hours, his family’s lack of warmth and charity that made their marriage so hard. The worst thing—she couldn’t see this changing, which was why she’d decided to leave. She’d force change on them, breaking up their small family in the process.

“I’ll help Ricky into his pajamas while you get James,” she said.

“All right.”

Ten minutes later, she’d settled both boys—angelic and fast asleep. Caroline bustled around the kitchen with nerves simmering in the pit of her stomach. Not difficult to discern the topic of discussion. Finally, with the milo ready she had no reason not to join him at the kitchen table they used to eat their meals.

Marsh took a sip of his milo and set the chunky mug down again. “I don’t want you to go.” He met her gaze, his own troubled. “I know things need to change. We’re broke and never have time together as a family or as husband and wife. My parents—” He shrugged. “I love you, Caroline, and I want another chance to prove that we’re good together.”

His words held passion and strength, but she couldn’t see change and said as much.

He pulled a face. “You’re right. Our lives won’t change if we stay here. What if we left Middlemarch?”

Caroline gaped at him, blinking rapidly as she replayed his words. Had she heard right?

He reached over to tap her chin with his forefinger, and she pressed her lips together. “Don’t look so shocked. Saber told me Cam Sinclair, Saul’s uncle—you remember Saul?”

At her nod, he continued.

“Cam Sinclair runs a sheep and cattle station in the Mackenzie country. He is looking for a farmhand. Saber said if I wanted the job he’d put a word in for me. I need to decide tonight because they’re advertising the job soon.”

“The Mackenzie? The stations in that region are remote.”

“Cam’s property is remote. According to Saber, they employ at least a dozen employees, some of them married with kids. One of the wives is a teacher, and she runs the correspondence school. Most of the time, they run regular work hours, except during lambing season. Part of the package is you helping with cooking, and they’d pay you for that. Saber gave me Cam’s number and we can ring him tomorrow morning. What do you think? Could we try again? Start again somewhere new?”

“You’d do that? Leave Middlemarch, your family and friends?”

“We’d have a regular income we could count on and I’d get time off to spend with you and the boys. I spoke with Felix since he worked there for six months. He said Cam was a fair boss, and apart from busy times of the year, his men do have a regular schedule.”

“Why did Felix leave if he liked the job so much?”

“Someone was stalking Tomasine, and he wanted to keep her safe. That’s all I know.”

Caroline nodded, her mind busy. “Could I speak with this Cam Sinclair too?”

“We can do the interview on speaker phone. If you have questions, you can ask Cam yourself.” His green eyes darkened as he gazed at her. “So you’ll do this? Give our marriage a second chance?”

“I’ll think about it. Talk to Mr. Sinclair and maybe Tomasine.”

Marsh reached for her hands and squeezed them hard before releasing them. “Thank you, Caroline. Things haven’t been right between us for a long time, but believe this. I do love you. I love our children, and I want to make this work.”

“What time will you ring? Emily and Isabella talked me into a shopping trip. They’re coming to pick me up at ten. I’m dropping the boys at school and kindy before they whisk me off to Dunedin. We’re out of cash, and I need to buy food, otherwise we won’t have dinner.”