My Demon (24 page)

Lily bought over the mugs, clunking them down and splashing the table. “Shit, sorry,” she apologized.

The woman didn’t seem to be able to stop this morning. Alex examined her mother as she ripped off a couple of sheets of paper towel and began mopping the spill. With her hair curled wildly into a blonde frizz and makeup from the previous day smeared around her eyes, she looked awful. Lily reached for her box of cigarettes next, tapping the bottom until one shot out the hole at the top.

“What are you going to do now, Alex? Are you going to visit the doctor?” Lily spoke in the jilted manner of someone broaching an uncomfortable subject. “I wrote notes, even sent Jeremy to take you to the surgery… oh my God!” She put a hand to her mouth, “His death is my fault, if I hadn’t got him in on this… he’d still be alive, I’m so sorry,” she said, now actively crying. She tried to settle her nerves with drags from the fag and slurps of hot tea. Her fingers trembled, and her tea spilled again. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated and got up for more paper towel, dropping ash on the freshly cleaned floor as she went.

As her mother prattled on, her words flowed over Alex’s head, like clouds, floating formless and silent, only the movement of Lily’s lips proving that conversation was still taking place. Alex stared unblinking, unbelieving as Lily sat back down. Cigarette smoke from her mother’s mouth drifted into the steam from the tea and rose as one past Lily’s animated face. Then becoming tinted and obscuring her eyes with the palest powder blue mist.

Alex gazed hypnotized as Lily waffled, her drivel punctuated by frequent apologies. The tea in Alex’s mug went cold, and while Lily was in mid-sentence, Alex pushed back from the table, the chair shuddering across the lino.

“Mum, I can’t deal with this.” Alex walked past the blue tinted mist that now surrounded her mother and went upstairs.

Alex’s bedroom was cold and unwelcoming. She sat at the end of her bed, still in shock. Flashes of the night before crammed into her head, except now her mother replaced the dying image of Jeremy. A bolt of pain caught her by surprise. She pressed her hands to her temples and pushed back as the migraine tried to get started.

“No, I can’t do that again,” she moaned.

The clear ring of a telephone sounded in her bedroom, not originating from the modern cordless downstairs, but an older phone, from her childhood. The sound reminded her of something, and a feeling of loneliness and nostalgia filled her. It annoyed her that she couldn’t put her finger on the source.

Alex lifted her head. “Hello Clive.”

“Hi, how’re you doing, babydoll?”

“Not so good.” There was no need for lies with the demon.

“You’ve seen your mother.”

Alex nodded and stared back down at the floor.

“Then you know what to do.” He sat down next to her and placed an arm around her shoulders.

“No.” Alex jumped off the bed and away from the demon. “How can you tell me to murder my mother?” Pain crushed her head. The migraine filled her brain and pushed at her eyes, exploding in bursts against her skull. Her stomach rolled.

Clive shrugged.

“I … you can’t expect me to … I’m not going to … no!” she blurted out. Her words wouldn’t form. The pain superseded everything, confused her thoughts. Lights like shooting stars bounced around the room.

Clive watched her stagger then catch herself with the wardrobe. Alex leaned against the wood until her legs steadied.

“I’m really sorry…”

“So everyone keeps saying!”

“…but it needs to be done,” Clive continued. “You know that. You’re a smart girl.”

“No. No, I’m not. I’m stupid, and I don’t care what your Podis creatures do to me. I don’t care if you pull that mask off and scare the living daylights out of me again. I will not do what you want!” Alex paced the room holding her head between her hands. “For God’s sake, I murdered Jeremy to keep my mum safe. And Mr. Duggan! And now you’re asking me to kill her? No. I won’t do it.”

“Look, I’m not going to bully you into doing the drunk now. You were remarkable last night, and I’m willing to let you rest for a bit before we start again.”

“Start again? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m done! Mr. Duggan was horrible, and the poor cat shouldn’t have died either. But Jeremy, my poor sweet Jeremy…” Her eyes watered and the world blurred for a moment until anger took over. “He didn’t deserve to die. He was trying to help me. And now he’s dead, Mum’s back on the booze because of it, and you want me to kill her?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “No fucking way.”

Clive lay down on her bed, tracing his eyes around the swirling patterns of plaster on the ceiling. “Whatever, babydoll.”

“Yeah, you said it. Whatever,” she spat. Grabbing some clothes and her towel, she headed for the bathroom. “And you stay here!” she shouted as she slammed her bedroom door.

“Who’re you talking to Alexandra?”

“Bloody hell!” Alex shrieked. She dropped all she’d been holding and clasped her hands to her chest. Her heart drummed wildly under her ribs. Alex stared at the cold blue smoke working its way through the air towards her. “Why are you sneaking up on me?”

“I wasn’t,” Lily replied, sounding hurt. “I was going back to bed, seemed silly to be awake with a headache when I had some time to sleep it off…” she petered off, frowning at her daughter. “So who were you talking to? Was it
him
?” she whispered the last word as if he might hear and jabbed a thumb in the direction of Alex’s bedroom.

Alex gazed heavenwards; she could think of only one way to shut her up right now. “Yes.” Then, without waiting for more questions, she picked up her clothes and towel and pushed past her mother. Moments later, she locked the door and breathed a sigh of relief. She rested her head against the wood. What was she going to do?

The shower scalded her until the water went cool, and Alex finally switched off the taps. The mirror was fogged, and she drew her hand across the glass, creating a portal to her reflection. In the water-streaked space in the middle of the misted mirror, her face stared out, old and sad. Would she look like this in forty years? Twenty? Life must have been hard for her. All that weight piling on her shoulders now was going to bow her back in the years to come. Her hair gristled in the same way her mother’s after a bad night, grey bags sagged under her eyes and she noticed a hollow look in her eyes that disturbed her.

Alex reached out and wiped again. She forced herself to gaze back into the mirror, this time seeing herself properly—nineteen, with her wet hair plastered to her head and no sign of that haunted stare in the backs of her eyes.

She went about her business, brushing, creaming, scrubbing, delaying. Not wanting to run into Lily again. She took a long time, and unable to procrastinate further, she turned the lock as quietly as possible and cracked the door open. A plume of steam belched out onto the landing. Alex pressed up against the crack. Her mother was gone, no doubt snoring off her hangover.

On tiptoes, Alex trod carefully on the carpet. Only a few steps to her bedroom, glad for once at how small their house was. Hand on the doorknob; she stopped, stilled by a sound, one that immediately brought back a rush of memories.

Alex is seven once again and standing outside her mummy’s bedroom, listening to her cry. The sound is muffled, and Alex opens the door a little to find her mother sobbing heart wrenchingly into the white pillowcase, the one with the pretty pink and yellow flowers embroidered along the side. Her bedroom is in an unusual mess. Drawers are pulled open, gaping and empty. Mummy doesn’t know she’s in the room yet, and burrows even deeper into the pillow, pulling her legs up as if in pain.

“Mummy what’s wrong?” Alex is crying now as well. She doesn’t understand. After a moment’s thought, Alex climbs into the bed and snuggles into her mummy’s cuddle. The pillow is damp from tears.

Alex snaps out of the past. Unable to remember why her mother was crying then, and wrapped up in the melancholy of the years gone by, Alex slipped into her own room, not forgetting to lock the door securely.

“You still here?” Alex didn’t wait for an answer. Quickly she brushed her wet hair and tied it into a ponytail. She grabbed her coat and backpack and left the room. She padded carefully down the stairs, took her set of keys from the peg and stepped out into a bracing autumn wind.

“Where’re you going?” Clive asked, catching up to her.

Alex turned and cast a disapproving eye over him. Despite the cold, he still wore his minimalist red cat suit.

“Come on, don’t shoot the messenger,” he said, seized her by the arm and twirled her around to face him.

“Messenger, hah!” she snorted and wrestled her arm from his grasp. She set off once more, long strides propelling her swiftly to the park. She searched for a quiet spot, away from blue smoke, away from thoughts of murder. Jeremy stayed fresh in her mind. She figured he’d be there for a good while yet. Marching on autopilot, Alex eventually arrived under the old oak tree once more.

“I can’t live like this, Clive. You’re going to have to find some other lap dog to take up the slack.” Alex couldn’t settle instead walking restlessly, circling the tree trunk in wide rings.

“Alex, you are the chosen one, there is no other choice.”

“Bullshit.” The words came out as a grumble.

As she swore, a fat wood pigeon crashed out of the tree and landed by Alex’s feet. Her lips pulled back into a sneer as blue smoke curled out of its black eyes. The most disturbing thing about the smoke the Podis excreted was the lifelike manner with which the blue tendrils propelled through the air towards her. Every single time.

In a flash, she withdrew her right foot and kicked the bird with all the force she could muster. The surprised bird bounced off the trunk of the oak tree in a cloud of feathers and rolled back towards her, dazed and motionless.

“Look what you made me do,” she yelled at Clive and turned her attention to the bird. Black marble eyes blinked at her, but the bird was still too dazed to get on its feet and fly away. Or too broken. “You’re making me do this too,” she shrieked and brought her heel down on the hapless bird. She heard a loud crunching sound. Alex stepped away and lifted her shoe to find grey feathers sticking to her heel with a gluey mixture of blood and brains. Using a nearby patch of grass, she tried to wipe off the mess.

Clive sidled up to Alex and clapped her on the back. “Well done, I knew you’d warm to doing it.” He laughed, despite the icy glare she shot him. “Killing them gets easier. You know, as you rack up notches.”

“Is that all Jeremy and Mr. Duggan are, notches? You’re sicker that I thought,” she said and left the shelter of the oak tree. The panoramic view of the park stunned her into stopping. The oak grew on one the highest parts of the park, and Alex could see most everything that wasn’t obscured by patches of trees. The time was still before lunch, and as it was Sunday, the park had only a few joggers and dog walkers using the trails. The play park had a handful of children, and a swing creaked back and forth endlessly.

“Don’t forget, the person you knew is already dead. The Podis murdered them the minute they took over the body. Would you pull the plug on your mother if she was hooked up to machines and brain dead? It’s no different,” Clive said softly.

Alex glanced at him, her brow furrowed. Everything was so confusing.

“A letter’s coming in the post tomorrow. One you need to get to first.”

“What, something addressed to me?”

“No, it’ll be to your mother, but I can’t stress the importance of you intercepting the letter, babydoll.”

Alex dragged her eyes away from the blue smoke signals erupting from around the park and turned her attention to Clive. “Why do I care?”

“The letter is to do with you. They’re going to try and put you away—have you committed. The part your mother needs to sign is arriving tomorrow, and you have no choice but to get the post before her.”

“Of course I do.” Her tone was intentionally cold, but a worried frown grew on her face and she linked hands with Clive, not yet ready to climb down the hill and definitely not ready to return home.

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EEP

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