My Dead World (18 page)

“I can hear you out there.” Lisa wiped her eyes. “And no more caramel for breakfast.”

“No more caramel.” Before leaving, I looked at my father. He was still sound asleep. I wasn’t waking him nor was I telling him to leave. He needed to be there.

As I left, I double checked to make sure Boswick didn’t need anything and then I walked back out.

“How are they?” Lev asked.

I only shook my head and walked into the cabin.

The three girls were still seated on the floor by the far wall in front of the mural.

“Look, Mommy,” Addy said. “I made a flower.”

“You always make flowers,” said Katie.

“And you always make dead things.” Addy barked.

“Girls.” I walked to them. Hannah sat in between. She didn’t say much. Maybe she wasn’t happy with her drawing.

I lifted the empty plate that had the apples and caramel and set it on the table. Addy had drawn a sunflower and she did so right next to Katie’s picture of a dead dog. I cringed. “Katie, please stop drawing sadistic stuff.”

“What’s sadistic?”

“That.” I pointed to the bloody dog.

“But Lisa said we are like cavemen. Making pictures of what is happening each day. Lev killed the dog. That’s the dog.”

I looked at the picture. There was a red truck. I assumed Hannah had drawn it. “Did you do this?” I asked. “Hannah, this is wonderful.”

She didn’t respond.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t get up, only turned around. “I don’t feel so good.”

Her face was a little pale.

“I told her to stop eating all the apples and caramel,” said Addy.

“Did the apples and caramel make you sick?” I asked. “Think you ate too much?”

Hannah nodded. “My belly hurts.”

“Let’s go lay down.” I reached out my hand to her and Hannah stood.

Just as she was about to grab my fingers, her hand shot to her mouth. She spun toward Addy and jolted once.

Addy jumped out of the way just as Hannah vomited. Her body heaved violently and the vomit landed with a loud splash on the floor.

When I reached out to Hannah to help her, Addy screamed.

It wasn’t just a scream of disgust, it was a long, deep, blood curdling scream.

“Addy!” I scolded.

Addy kept screaming.

“Addy. Stop.” I told her. “You’ll make her feel bad. It’s just throw up.”

Addy didn’t stop screaming. Not at all. Then I realized why. Hannah had vomited, but it wasn’t just throw up like I said. It was blood. It was nothing but blood.

Cade was beside himself and he looked it when he approached me after examining Hannah. “Oh, Niles.” He sat down next to me.

“She has it, doesn’t she?”

He nodded. “She said her head hurts and her stomach. Her fever is ridiculously high and her entire abdomen is dead tissue and spreading.”

“Just like the dog?” I spoke softly.

“I asked her and she said she had been playing with him for days.”

“So it wasn’t yesterday that she caught it?” I asked.

Cade shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. Honestly, I don’t know. You said your brother told you three days to infection. We both have seen it start in bite victims right away.  Seeing that we believe the source of her infection was from the dog, we don’t know.”

I brought my hands to my face and rubbed. “Her mother was infected and her dad was attacked. Now her. Poor thing.”

“In all your conversations, did your brother mention anything about how the virus affects children?”

“Not children specifically. Just people. Why?” I asked.

“I’m going to guess there is a positive to this. Just a guess. But in all my exposure to the virus, all those infected and turned, I have not seen a single child turn.”

“Have you seen children infected?”

“I have,” Cade nodded. “In DC and at Big Bear. But we lost those two kids up at Big Bear. They died before they turned.”

“How is that possible?”

“I think the virus is so horrible and strong that it takes the child before it can take the child’s mind.”

I lowered my head. “Where is she now?”

“In the RV. I didn’t know what else to do.”

I nodded and walked from the front porch, around the cabin to our ‘sick’ RV. After placing on my mask, I went inside. Boswick was sleeping and Hannah sat on the other fold out bed crying.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” I said to her.

“I want my dad and mom.”

“I know you do.”

“I’m sick.”

“I know. I wish there was a way to make you feel better. I do.”

“Niles?” Lisa called from the back room.

After telling Hanna I would be right back, I walked back there.

“The little girl is sick?” Lisa asked.

“Yeah, she’s pretty bad.”

“Bring her back here,” Lisa said. “Put her in bed with me. I’m not near turning yet. Just sick too.”

“Lisa, I …”

“A child needs held and loved when they are sick. Bring her here, I’ll hold her.” She patted a spot next to her. “None of you can do that. I want to.”

“I think that is awesome of you to do that for her.”

“I’m doing it for me, too.”

I acknowledged her request then went into the front room for Hannah. She willingly came with me and as soon as I told her what was going on, she climbed into bed with Lisa and cuddled.

Lisa brought the little girl close to her, then waved me to leave.

As I walked out, I heard Lisa humming and saying. “It’s going to be all right. Just close your eyes and try to rest.”

I stepped outside the trailer, hung the mask and reached for the pail to wash. That was when I saw Cade and Lev walking towards me as if they were going to gang up on me.

“What?” I asked. “What did I do?”

Lev replied. “I just cleaned up.”

“Thank you.”

“I threw away the breakfast dishes and the kid’s plates you used last night,” Lev said. “No way to sanitize them.”

“I understand.”

Lev opened his mouth to speak, then looked at Cade.

“Niles, I know you are going through a lot,” Cade said. “And I hate to add any more worrying to you.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“The virus isn’t airborne,” Cade said. “It’s spread through blood, bodily fluids, saliva.”

“Okay. No one touched her vomit. It didn’t hit anyone,” I said.

“I know. But I need you to be prepared. Have you given thought to the fact that the three girls not only shared a plate of apples, they all shared the dipping sauce? There’s a chance …”

His voice faded. It was like watching him under some kind of drug influence. He blurred and distorted. I was hit with a reality I didn’t want to face.

No. No. No. Stupid. How was I so stupid?

“Niles?” Cade called my name. “You okay?”

I held up my hand stopping him. “Excuse me.”  I felt sick, I wanted to vomit, but I also had to keep it together. I finished washing my hands and walked away.

I wanted to tell him I didn’t want to think about it, but how could I not? The seed had been planted and the thoughts grew on their own whether I liked them or not. In fact, I hated not only my thoughts, but myself as well, because I inadvertently and innocently exposed my daughters to the virus I so diligently tried to spare them from.

For the remainder of the day, I kept my daughters close enough to see.  Even though I knew if they were going to exhibit symptoms, they wouldn’t have them yet. Or would they? Hannah may have been contagious when she arrived.

My father finally left Lisa’s side. She asked that she be alone. My father told me about it as I did dishes.

“I won’t be out of there for long,” my father said. “I’m just gonna let her go to sleep.”

“How’s Hannah?”

“Both of them are pretty sick. That little one … my heart breaks for her.”

A lump formed in my throat and I glanced up at my father. “Daddy,” his name peeped from my mouth emotionally. “I screwed up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I gave the girls a plate of apples and caramel to share. They shared it with Hannah. I didn’t know. I didn’t think.”

“I don’t see it that way. I see it as …” My father grabbed my hands. “You didn’t screw up. You were treating everyone the same and being a mom. You didn’t screw up.”

“They could be exposed. They … oh, God.” I put my hand to my mouth. “If they get sick …”

“Then we deal with it. As hard as this sounds, the truth is, there’s nothing you can do. You can drive yourself nuts watching and checking them, but this doesn’t come with an antidote. You can’t stop it from happening. It’s out of your hands. Quite honestly, it’s been out of all our hands since before we got here.” He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. “I resolved myself to something this afternoon.”

“What is that?”

“The hurt I’m feeling ... I’m not alone. What’s happening here is happening to families everywhere. If we are somehow spared, then we are blessed. If not, then we are no different than everyone else in the world. Maybe just a little better stocked up. I’m not the only husband right now watching his wife die. Hannah is not the only child out there, right now, dying alone without her mother. And you are not the only mother right now scared to death and worrying about what tomorrow will bring. We can’t change this, Niles, we can only face it head on.”

“What if I can’t?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re tough as nails.”

“No, Daddy, I’m not.”

“Yes, Niles, you are. Now …” He kissed me again on the cheek. “Why don’t you go outside and get some air. Think I want to hang out with the girls a spell.”

It sounded like a good idea. I needed a break and a distraction. I grabbed a glass of Lisa’s bourbon and my phone, not to make a call, but to look at pictures.

I stepped out on the porch, Lev walked back from the fence holding a rifle.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Oh, just checking the fence before I take watch,” he said.

“Did you get some sleep?”

“I did. A few hours.”

“Did you go in and check on them?”

“My dad was sleeping. Hannah ... Hannah was crying.”

“I’ll check on her in a bit.”

“That’s a good idea,” Lev said. “I’m gonna go relieve Cade.” He took a few steps and stopped.  “What kind of name is Cade?”

I laughed softly. “It’s his last name. His first name is Brian.”

“Brian.” Lev nodded. “I like that better.” He walked off.

My favorite sitting spot called for me and I sat on the step of the porch. My phone had a full charge, there was no reason it wouldn’t. At first I tried to see if I could get a signal … I didn’t. Then I tried the internet. Nothing.

I opened up my photos. Everyone made fun of me for not having a newer phone. My thoughts were if it worked, why change it. At that moment I was grateful. The pictures I had on my phone were old and some had been transferred from my previous phone. I was able to scan through a pictorial history of my life. At least three years worth.

I must have been lost in my thoughts, lost in my pictures because I never heard Cade approach.

“Hey.” Cade sat down next to me. “Why is Lev calling me Brian?”

“He’s likes it better.”

“Looking at pictures?”

“Yeah.”

“My phone died.”

“You should charge it. We have that generator.”

“Maybe I will,” Cade said. “Am I bothering you?”

“Not at all.”

“In all those pictures, you don’t have one of your brother, do you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Why?” I asked.

“Well, you talk about him so much. I want to know what he looks like.”

Using my thumb, I swiped through the pictures. “Here. From Christmas.” I stared at it for a second before handing it over. Bobby looked good in that picture. Relaxed. “Take a look. This was taken before his wife left him. Really broke his heart.”

Cade took the phone. “Wait. This is Bobby?”

“Yeah. He’s not what you expected, is he?”

“No. Not at all. You say a doctor with the CDC, super smart. I think out of shape, bald.”

“No, Bobby was vain. He always wanted to look his best. That guy in school who had it all. Looks and intelligence. That was Bobby. Anytime I had friends, they wanted to date my brother.” I watched Cade shift through my pictures.

“He looks like an actor.” Cade said.

“What about you, Cade? We’ve been here a week. I only know you have a sister named Julie. A mom and dad in Erie and according to my father, you worked for the gay division of the DC emergency workers.”

“Your dad is funny.” He gave the phone back. “That’s a good picture of you in the Arby’s uniform. Was that Halloween?”

“No. I worked at Arby’s.”

“Really?”

“Yeah and you changed the subject.”

Cade shrugged. “Not much to tell, that’s why. You know it all. When I didn’t work, I liked to shoot pool, throw darts. Play softball.”

“No girlfriend?” I lifted my glass. “Wife? Fiancée?”

“None. I dated a lot and just before all this shit happened, I met someone. That was … obviously, short lived. Any more of that booze in the house?”

“Are you kidding me? Lisa got ready for the apocalypse. She planned on a long haul.”

“You staying out here for a bit?” Cade asked as he stood. “I’m gonna go in and get some.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’ll be …” Cade paused and slowly turned looking out. “Is that Lisa way out there?”

I hurriedly looked out. Cade wasn’t mistaken. Lisa, far from the house, staggered in a walk toward the fence. “Why is she out of bed?”

“I don’t know.” Cade stepped off the porch.

He must have seen me getting ready to call to her, because he covered my mouth.

“Don’t. She may have turned.”

“No.” I shook my head. “She didn’t turn. I know she didn’t turn.” I stepped off the porch and softly called out. “Lisa.”

She looked over her shoulder then kept walking.

Across the darkness, Lev’s loud whisper carried to us. “Get her!” he pointed. “Before your dad sees.”

I lifted my hand to Lev, and with Cade, I walked at a quick pace across the front lawn toward Lisa.

It was dark and not easy to see. I focused on her white tee shirt.

“Shit,” Lev called out. “Straggler.”

A second after his words, he lit his spotlight and shone it toward the fence. Coming out of the woods to the right of the driveway was a straggler. He walked toward the fence and so did Lisa.

The straggler moved slowly, his legs wobbled as his ankles gave away every couple steps. As Lisa neared the fence, the straggler reached it and got caught by a spike. It impaled him through his midsection, but it didn’t stop him. One hand waved about, the other held the fence and he chomped the air while staring at Lisa.

“Lisa,” I called again. “Stop.”

She veered some to her right, in what seemed like an aim toward the straggler. I picked up the pace with Cade. Just before Lisa got to the fence she stopped and dropped to her knees, staring out at the infected.

“Something’s not right,” Cade said. “Lisa.”

We both ran to her.

“Stop,” she said lifting up one hand. “Stop.”