My Dead World (11 page)

No, please, no please,
I begged in my mind.
Let the toy have been in there before.

My hands shook violently, as I struggled to rip off the duct tape.

My earlier conversation with Katie raced through my mind.

“Should we bring Daddy coffee and bacon?” Katie asked.

“No, baby, stay away from Daddy, okay? He’s very sick. I don’t want you to get it.”

“But I love Daddy.”

“I know you do.”

“Maybe if I kiss his boo-boo.”

“No, sweetie, you can’t make it better. I know you want to see him, but you can’t. Okay?”

“Let’s go eat bacon.”

She never said, ‘okay’ she never agreed or said she understood. Of course, she wouldn’t. She was four.

God, please!

I was in a state of utter panic. The terror I felt was immeasurable. It effected every physical movement.

I ripped and pulled at that tape. “Come on,” I growled.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I undress? A part of me hoped and prayed that I was being neurotic and overreacting, but another part of me was scared to death.

Finally, the tape broke free and I ripped off the goggles, mask and every other piece of makeshift protective clothing I had on. Once undressed, to my regular clothes, I bolted down the hall and into the living room.

My father, Cade, Addy and Katie sat around the coffee table.

My breaths were fast, nearly hyperventilation. My heart beat in my throat. There I was standing there, arms to my side, in a ready mode, staring out, just like Paul had done in his last moments.

Cade stood. “What’s wrong?”

“Katie, did you go in Daddy’s room?”

My father blurted out a shocked and disbelieving, “What?”

Katie nonchalantly moved her game piece. “No, Mommy.”

Again, I asked. “Katie, I need to know. Did you go in that room?”

Lisa stood. “I was here. She didn’t.”

“No, Mommy.”

“Katie!” I blasted. “I need to know!”

“Niles,” my father scolded. “She said she didn’t.”

I knew my daughter. She wasn’t looking at me. “Katie, answer me!”

“She did!” My father said.

Ignoring my father, I crouched down by Katie. “Sweetie, listen, I’m not mad. I just need to know. Did you go in that room with Daddy?”

“Niles, for Christ sake,” my father said. “She already answered.”

“Yes.”

My daughter’s single word brought a cold debilitating silence to the room. My knees cascaded hard to the floor.

We all froze in horror.

“But Mommy, I needed to see him.” Katie defended. “I had to tell him I loved him.”

Emotionally, Lisa cried out, “Oh God!”

Immediately, a sense of panic filled the room.

“How did you know?” My father asked.

“I saw a toy.”

“Let’s not rush to judgment,” Cade said. “It’s not airborne. We know this.”

I placed my hand on her shoulders. “I’m not mad. Mommy’s not mad. But did you touch him? Kiss him? I need to know.”

Her little finger was in her mouth. At first her lips puckered then her eyes welled up. “I’m sorry,” she peeped out before bursting into tears.

“Oh, honey. It’s okay. No. No, don’t cry. It’s okay.” I brought her into my arms and held her tightly. The second I squeezed to give her comfort, she jolted back and she stiffened. I loosened my hold and pulled back. “What is it?”

Her response was another sob.

What was it? What caused my daughter to wince and jump back at my touch?

No.

Immediately, I pulled back and frantically began to check her. I looked at her arms, raising them, nothing. Face … clear. Neck ... no marks.

“Niles, what are you doing?” My father asked. “The child is fine.”

“She’s not fine,” I examined her legs. Then her head.

“Niles, she’s just scared.” He said. “Calm down.”

Despite my father’s protest over my behavior, I spun Katie around and lifted her shirt.

My heavy exhale said it all. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I just wanted to die.

There, on her back, between the spine and the flank … was a bite mark.

It was back. My ability to remain calm, rational and the go to person in a crisis, had been lost, but only temporarily. It was back, I felt it. I owed it to my daughter, Katie to be that person. She needed a strong mother, not one who was weak and crying. How in the world did I expect her to believe everything was going to be all right, if I didn’t portray that I did?

Up until the moment I started questioning her about Paul, Katie had that sparkle in her eye. Oblivious to everything, happy go lucky. Then suddenly she was scared and crying. I didn’t want that. I needed her to be my Katie. And I was going to do everything in my power to ensure she was.

In the immediate moment following my discovery, things went haywire.

My father looked as if he were hit with a sledgehammer, he sat in his chair, pale and looking worried.

Addy was angry. She went from sad about her father to angry.

“You’re stupid,” she kept saying to Katie. “You’re so stupid. Why would you do that? Why?”

“Enough,” I told her.

Lisa was the worst. She was crying, no wait, she was sobbing. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

She blamed herself because she was in charge when Katie slipped into Paul’s room.

I didn’t blame her, there was no reason to blame anyone. No amount of telling her was going to convince Lisa that it wasn’t her fault. That no matter what. No matter who was with my daughter, Katie wanted to see her father and she would have one way or another.

If emotions were a color, it was a mosaic mess in the living room.

Until Cade spoke up. “Everyone needs to calm down, seriously.” He crouched down to Katie. “I need you to stop crying and know that no one is mad at you, no one is upset.”

“But they’re crying and screaming,” Katie said.

“They’re worried,” Cade told her. “Sometimes people show it differently. It’s okay.  But I need right now, to clean your boo-boo. Can I do that?”

Katie nodded.

“Let’s take you in the other room and do so,” Cade stood up.”Niles, can you grab my kit?”

“Yes,” I told him and sought out the red bag as he led Katie to my father’s bedroom.

Cade paused before going down the hall and spoke to everyone. “One thing we need to remember is this happened, when? How many hours ago? She’s not ill. Not showing any signs. That’s a good thing. Earl, can you try to call your son, please, thank you.”

I found the red kit and lifted it.

“Mommy?” Addy walked up to me.

“What sweetie?”

“Please don’t let her get sick. She’s my sister.”

I ran my hand down her face. “We’re gonna try.”

I think I knew it and that was the reason I remained calm. Katie wasn’t sick. At the same post bite time with Paul, he was already too far gone.

I went into my father’s room. Cade placed Katie on the bed and took the bag.

“Anything hurt you?” he asked.

“It hurts a little,” she said.

Cade lifted her shirt.

I wasn’t a medical professional, but even I could tell the bite mark was not deep. It bled some, but not a lot. There wasn’t a chunk missing like with Paul’s. And even more so, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the area around it wasn’t dying. It was just red and irritated.

“After I clean this,” Cade said. “I’m gonna give you medicine and I need you to be good about it, okay?”

Katie nodded.

Cade looked at me. “It doesn’t need stitches, just cleaned.” He returned to working on it. “Katie, tell me how it happened.”

“My dad bit me.”

Cade smiled. “I know that. But how? How did you get in the room?”

“I just wanted to kiss him and tell him to get better. I brought him my toy. I lied.”

“What do you mean?” Cade asked.

“I told Grandma Lisa I was tired and I went to see Daddy. He wasn’t talking to me. He was just staring. When I went to leave, he grabbed me. I tried to run and he got me. Then I heard Mommy come. I knew he did something cause it hurt,” she said. “But I ran and pretended I was sleeping.”

“Oh, honey,” I told her. “That had to hurt. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to get mad. You said not to see Daddy.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m not mad. I just don’t want you hurt.”

“Done,” Cade said. “All clean and bandaged. I want to start antibiotics. The mouth is one of the worst places for bacteria. I have some pills, we need to get her to take them. Can she swallow them, or should I figure out another way?”

“If you make them small enough, she can swallow them. Right, Katie?”

Katie nodded and immediately jumped into my arms. Her mouth was close to my ear and she whispered. “Am I going to get sick like Daddy?”

“Oh, baby,” I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to tell her the truth. And that was, we didn’t know. “We are going to do everything we can to make sure you don’t. But you have to take the pills.”

A single knock on the door brought my father. “Niles,” he held up the phone. “I have Bobby.”

I looked at Cade. “Do you want to talk to him?”

“Maybe after you’re done. Talk to your brother. I think if anyone can shed some light it’s him. Take the call, I’ll get her the pills.”

I agreed and walked to my father, taking the phone. I stepped outside the room and placed the phone to my ear. “Bobby.”

“Hey, Niles, I am so sorry. Dad … Dad told me.”

“What ... what exactly did he tell you?”

“Paul died and…Katie is sick.”

“No,” I said. “Katie is not sick.”

“Dad said …”

“Katie was bit. The bite isn’t deep, it barely bled.  She has no symptoms, Bobby. None.”

I heard him exhale over the phone. “What about the wound? Any signs of necrosis?”

“None. And it’s been at least six hours.”

“Oh my God, Niles, this is good. This is good news.”

“You said before that you have seen people get bit and not get sick.”

“Yes,” he said. “But please, keep in mind, I have seen people not get sick for a while.”

“I know. You said thirty days.”

“Like rabies, it can take that long. But I need to tell you, as a doctor, hearing that she’s not sick, or doesn’t have necrosis is hopeful.”

“That’s what I thought. Cade cleaned the wound and is giving her antibiotics. We know it doesn’t work on the virus, but we’re doing it in case of infection.”

“That’s good. That’s very good. Does the bite look infected?”

“Not to me. But I wouldn’t know. Do you want to speak to Cade?”

“Is that the first responder?”

“Yes.”

“Then I would.”

I was about walk back in the room and hand Cade the phone, but stopped. “Bobby? Are you still in quarantine?”

“No, I got out. I’m in Atlanta now. It’s pretty bad.”

“Is there any where that isn’t?”

“I don’t know. I can guess. Canada is being quiet and we haven’t had a single report out of Florida. I don’t know why.”

“And we’re sure this isn’t airborne?”

“Yeah, why do you ask that?” Bobby questioned.

“Big Bear had a few cases and it nearly doubled in one day. They can’t figure out how.”

“I told you it is highly contagious,” Bobby said. “It doesn’t take much if you are susceptible.  As far as we know it is not airborne. We’re still studying it, learning it. I wish we could study the infected. We need to do that, but there’s just not enough hands.”

“Do you still think it’s best to kill infected people?”

“Unfortunately to contain this, yeah.”

“Big Bear is giving that option to the families of those infected.”

“So you’re in contact with Big Bear?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, and if it wasn’t for Lev, I’d be dead. I’ll explain when I see you.”

“Lev? Lev Boswick? He actually talked to you after all that happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Nothing. Can I speak to this Cade?”

“Yes, and Bobby … when will we see you? We need you.”

“Soon. I’ll be out of here soon and I’ll be on my way.”

“I hope so.” I walked into my father’s room and showed Cade the phone.

“Me?” Cade asked.

“Yeah, he wants to talk to you.”

Cade took the phone.

When he walked out of the room, I moved to Katie. “Did you take your pills?”

She nodded.

I looked at my daughter. Her coloring was good; her eyes still sparkled. I touched her face and her skin was cool.

“Hey,” I took her in my arms. “Listen to me. Everything is going to be all right. Okay? It’s going to be all right.”

She held tighter to me and I wrapped my arms around her as much as I could.

I was not one to lie and I wasn’t lying to her. After seeing how she was doing and talking to my brother, from the bottom of my heart I felt as if I were speaking the truth. I was confident that, despite being bit, my daughter was going to be okay. I truly believed that.