My Butterfly (21 page)

“You look great,” she said.

I chuckled and looked down at my black slacks and white, button-up shirt. I felt overdressed.

“Thanks,” I replied.

My eyes then caught her silhouette in her snug, blue dress.

“Uh, so do you,” I said.

Jessica’s wide smile beamed back at me. I smiled but then suddenly spotted in the back of the room a thin blonde, in a short, yellow dress. My heart nearly stopped, then restarted, only to almost beat out of my chest, but I kept my eyes on the girl in the yellow dress, until she noticed me.

“Uh, Jessica, there’s someone I see that I’ve got to talk to,” I stuttered.

I wasn’t even sure if half of the words had come out as words, but Jessica smiled and nodded all the same. Then, I glanced back up at the blonde. I hadn’t been imagining things. She was still standing there, watching me. But this time, her eyes cast down to the floor when I met them, and she started fidgeting with something in her hands. I felt Jessica’s stare follow my gaze. I probably should have felt bad for Jessica—for cutting her off—but at the moment, I couldn’t feel anything but happy.

“It was, uh, good to see you,” I said, as I flashed Jessica another smile and then stepped to her side.

“Yeah,” she said. “It was good to see you too.”

I barely heard Jessica’s last words. My mind had been set onto one track, and suddenly, I was useless for all other purposes.

I rushed over to the blonde and stopped just a foot away from her slender frame and met her eyes.

“Hi, Will,” she said, softly smiling.

“Julia,” I finally managed to get out.

A smile came with her name. It felt good. It had been a long time since that had happened.

“I was home for the weekend, and there was a note on my calendar, and I thought…,” she said and then paused.

“I thought I’d stop by,” she finished.

I kept my eyes in hers.

“I got you a gift,” she said, handing me a small box.

I took the wrapped package into my hand and sent a wild smile her way. I couldn’t help it. This girl was so unpredictable, it made me crazy. But somehow, I loved it.

I turned the small package over in my hands.

“I just happened to run across it one day, and I don’t know, it was force of habit or something because the next thing I knew, I was at the counter, handing the woman my debit card,” she said, softly laughing. “It’s just something small, and because I think it was made for you.”

“Sounds like I love it already,” I said, sending her a wink.

She turned her face away, but I had already seen the red in her cheeks.

“You can open it later,” she said.

“You know what?” I said, through a wide smile. “I’ve got a better idea. Let’s get lunch.”

She looked into my eyes as if she was asking me a question but damned if I knew what it was.

“Come on,” I said. “There’s this place that has the best cheeseburgers in town. I know you can’t pass that up.”

“But your family?” she asked.

“Them?” I asked her, as if she were crazy. “Mom’s doing this little shindig at the house later. She’s already told me that she’s ditching me after this to get ready for it.”

I watched a smile crawl across her pretty face.

“Here, let’s go tell ‘em I’m leaving, and then we’ll get outta here,” I said.

I grabbed her arm, but she gently pulled away.

“No, you go,” she said. “I’ll just wait outside.”

I stared at her for a second, as I fell back down to earth. There was something different about her, and my heart stabbed at my chest because of it.

“Okay,” I said, as I cleared my throat and slowly nodded my head. “I’ll, uh, I’ll just go tell them I’m leaving, and I’ll meet you out there.”

She smiled, nodded and then turned toward the doors that led out into the hallway.

I watched her walk away. My breathing was starting to get shallow, and I swore the temperature in the room just rose a couple
of degrees. What was she hiding?

...

We gave the waiter our orders and our menus. Then, I planted my eyes on Julia.

She sent that same, irresistible smile that only she could give my way. God, I missed that smile.

“Open it,” she said, gesturing toward the small box, now sitting on the table in front of me.

I found her eyes again and smiled. Then, I slowly started pulling away the paper that covered the box. But before I got all of it off, I stopped and looked up at her.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said.

Her eyes turned down before they met mine again.

“Well, I know this is a big day for you, and I had the gift,” she said.

“I wasn’t expecting this—the gift or you,” I said. “And it’s just my paramedic certification.”

She smiled.

“It’s a big deal, Will,” she said.

I held my gaze in her eyes for a moment longer. Then, I tore off the rest of the wrapping and pulled out a metal pin from a small box. It was an angel pulling up a firefighter who had fallen.

“It’s your guardian angel,” she said, before I could say anything. “Wear it. She’ll keep you safe.”

I looked up at her and gently smiled.

“I will,” I said. “Thank you.”

Her eyes immediately cast down, so I took the moment to study the soft features on her face before I returned my attention to the guardian angel in my hand.

“So, how long are you in town?” I asked.

“Just today actually,” she said.

My smile instantly faded.

“Well, maybe I could come up and see you some time, and we could go get dinner or something,” I said.

I lifted my head just as her eyes were starting to light up, but then something happened. And I watched the green in her eyes grow dim and her smile too start to fade. My heart sank.

“It could be just as friends,” I quickly said.

Her expression didn’t change, and my heart sank even further into my chest. I knew she wanted to tell me something—that thing she had been hiding.

“What is it, Jules?” I asked, too impatient to wait for her to get it out on her own.

“I just don’t think that dinner is
such a good idea, Will,” she said, tossing her stare to the table’s surface.

I furrowed my brows.

“Why not?” I asked.

She seemed to pause, and then she found my eyes again.

“I’m seeing someone,” she said.

Just like that, the words had come out as if they were a death sentence.

“What do you mean you’re seeing someone?” I asked.

I slid back into my chair and tried to replace a dagger to the heart with a smug smile.

“You mean, like you see someone every day in a line to get coffee or something or like you’re seeing ghosts or something?” I asked.

She sarcastically batted her eyelashes.

“I mean I’m dating someone,” she said. “His name is Brady, and he’s on the track team, and he…”

“Okay, okay,” I interrupted her. “I get it.”

She stopped short, and after a long moment, I slumped back in my chair, then brought my elbows to the table and rested my forehead in my hands.

“Sorry,” I said, lifting my head from my hands. “So, what does he do?”

“What?” she asked.

“What does this guy you’re ‘seeing’ do?” I asked, making sure to use my fingers as quotation marks in the appropriate place.

“He’s a sophomore,” she said. “He’s pre-med. He wants to be a doctor.”

I let my head fall back at her mention of the word doctor.

“A doctor, Jules?” I asked. “Of course,” I said, under my breath.

She shot me a puzzled
look.

“You know the divorce rates for doctors?” I asked. “You don’t want to marry him.”

I watched her dramatically sigh.

“Will, no one said anything about marrying anyone,” she said. “And besides, like your job’s much better. I can’t even count the number of times you left me somewhere when your tones went off or the hours we missed because of them.”

“I always left you with someone we knew, Jules,” I reminded her. “You make it sound like I left you on the side of the road somewhere.”

I watched her take a deep breath, close her eyes and then smile.

“Will,” she said, “we don’t have to fight like this anymore.”

“Anymore?” I asked. “Jules, we never fought, and we’re not fighting now. We’re just discussing our differences, like how you’re fond of doctors, and I’m not.”

She took another deep breath, and her smile turned soft.

“Really?” she asked. “Because it sounds a lot like a certain night that I remember not so long ago.”

I stared at her, trying desperately to find the meaning in her riddle.

“Come on, Jules, don’t even bring that night up,” I eventually said, recalling our breakup, and at the same time, running my hand through my hair. “I hate that night.”

“That makes two of us, so let’s just agree to not fight anymore,” she said.

She was still wearing a smile, but it looked fake.

I stared into her eyes for a minute and then finally forced a grin too.

“Fine,” I said, “no more fighting. Let’s talk about you instead.”

A sincere smile came to life on her face again.

“What about me?” she asked.

“Well, how’s school?” I asked.

“It’s good,” she said, nodding her head. “It’s just prerequisites and electives. Nothing too exciting.”

“What about track?” I asked.

She smiled wider.

“What is it?” I asked.

“My time dropped two seconds,” she said.

“I knew it,” I exclaimed, as I leaned back against the chair and smiled. “What did I tell you?”

“I know,” she said, starting to laugh.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Well,” I said, trying hard to censor the parts where I sulk most nights thinking of her, “I got a job on the department in
St. Louis.”

“Wow, that’s great, Will,” she said, smiling wider.

I followed her stare to a spot on the table then and watched as her smile started to fade. It looked as if she were thinking about something.

“What?” I asked her.

Her eyes quickly flashed back to mine.

“Oh, nothing,” she said. “It’s just that it went by so fast.”

I nodded my head as her eyes lingered for a second in mine.

“Do you still play sometimes?” she asked.

I pushed my lips together, thinking about the band and our weekend nights.

“Sometimes,” I said.

“Good,” she said, smiling again.

I locked my eyes in hers then.

“You know, I bet doctors come home smelling worse then ashes,” I said, cracking a smile. “Have you ever smelled the inside of a hospital?”

“Will,” she playfully scolded.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “But don’t say I never warned you.”

She shot me that cute, pouty face that she stored in that arsenal of expressions she owned. She must have known that she was killin’ me. I let my eyes linger in hers a second too long, but she didn’t seem to mind. Jules was still in there somewhere. I took a deep breath in and then gradually let it out, as a knowing smile found its way back to my face.

Fall

“Y
ou were on his emergency contacts,” I heard a voice say on the other side of the curtain.

I felt my heart speed up, and my eyelids instantly fell shut.
Emergency contacts
. I had forgotten about that. I sat up straight and tried to make out my reflection in the black, television screen. I probably looked like hell.

I combed back my hair with my fingers and then listened for Jules’s voice, but for several moments, there was only silence. My eyes darted back and forth from the curtain to the only piece of the door that I could see, as I anxiously rubbed my palms against the white blanket, subconsciously smoothing out its deep wrinkles. Then, finally, her thin frame emerged from the temporary wall. And her eyes instantly caught mine.

“Hey, are you okay?” Julia asked.

Her voice was soft and shaken. I was pretty sure I was expecting her to be pissed that I had uprooted her from doing whatever she had been doing more than a hundred miles away.

“I’m fine,” I said. “If I would have known that they were going to call you, I would have told them not to.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s okay. I mean, they really couldn’t tell me anything on the phone. What happened?”

“Just an unlucky step, which led to an unlucky fall, that’s all,” I said. “In reality, it’s all kind of a blur. I remember feeling the heat from the flames. I remember stepping backward, and the next thing I remember is being here, in this bed.”