My Brown-Eyed Earl (35 page)

“I don't want to be alone.” She stood, set the doll on the chair, and circled her arms around his neck.

“It just so happens that I don't want you to be alone either.” He chuckled, soothing her frayed nerves.

She pressed her forehead to his, breathing in his familiar, masculine scent. She didn't want him to go, but she couldn't fall into bed with him just because she was distraught. Their situation hadn't changed since she moved out of Castleton House. God willing, they'd find the twins … but then they'd go their separate ways.

“Perhaps we could just lie beside each other?” She felt her face grow hot. “Unless that would be too difficult…”

“It will be damned difficult,” he murmured, “but I will take as much of you as you're willing to give. Now, and always.”

“Thank you. I think that I might be able to fall asleep now that you're here.”

“Would you like me to leave while you change?”

Her face got even hotter, but after all they'd been through and all they'd shared, it seemed silly to insist on privacy. “No, but perhaps you could face the wall?”

He did as she asked and thoughtfully turned down the lamp as well. She'd never hauled on her nightgown so fast, and she tossed her dress over the back of the chair before scrambling beneath the covers of the narrow bed. “Done,” she said a bit breathlessly.

“You can trust me, you know.” Amused, he sat on the chair and ate a few bites of her stew, shrugged off his jacket, and removed his boots. They chatted as he washed up and slid under the covers beside her, still dressed in his shirt and trousers.

“If you'd be more comfortable without your shirt…”

“I'd be more comfortable if
you
were naked,” he teased, propping himself up on an elbow.

“I'm not certain I want you to be
that
comfortable,” she said dryly, “but I would not mind if you chose to remove your shirt.” His bare chest would be a pleasant distraction from her troubles. Tempting, too—but she would resist the pull.

Shrugging, he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on top of her dress. “Try to sleep,” he said, turning the lamp all the way down. “I'll be right here if you should need anything. Anything at all,” he added suggestively.

Emboldened by the darkness, she snuggled close to him and slipped an arm around his waist. He caressed her arm lightly, lulling her into a content, trancelike state.

“Everything will work out,” he whispered into her hair. “You'll see.”

How she longed to believe him. “If any harm should come to the twins, I'll never forgive myself.”

For several heartbeats, he was silent. Then he said, “Forgive yourself for what—wanting the girls to be happy? Wanting what's best for them?”

She appreciated what he was trying to do but wasn't about to let herself off the hook. “I should have been more cautious about reuniting them with Lila.”

“You couldn't have known what she intended to do.”

“I should have questioned her more, waited longer before entrusting them to her care.”

“I don't mean to split hairs, but
I'm
the one who decided to let the twins return to their mother. Setting that fact aside for a moment, would you condemn one of your sisters for acting as you did?”

“They would never intentionally put a child in danger.”

“Of course they wouldn't. Neither would you. And you didn't answer my question.”

She thought for a moment, trying to find the crack in his logic. “I wouldn't condemn Julie or Beth, but this situation is different.
I
should have known better.”

“And why is it that you are held to a different standard? Are you more intelligent, more powerful, more responsible than they?

She swallowed, glad that it was too dark for Will to see the tears gathering in her eyes. “No.”

“Then why do you make yourself personally responsible for the safety and well-being of everyone around you?”

“Maybe because the alternative is just too awful to contemplate.”

He wrapped his strong arms around her and kissed her temple. “And what is that?”

“That I can't protect the people I love,” she said hoarsely. “That they could be snatched away from me at any time. That our happiness—our very existence—is subject to the whims of Fate.”

“I'm afraid that has always been true, Meg. It's the reason we need to love freely and fiercely while we can.” He stroked her hair, making her scalp tingle pleasantly. “Sure, we make our own choices, but Fate … well, she is squarely in charge.”

“I admit, I find that terrifying.”

“Sometimes. But it's also liberating. Once you accept that many things in life are beyond your control, you might let go of the guilt … and realize you deserve to be happy.”

She nuzzled his neck, letting the truth of his words sink in. “You're not talking about just the twins anymore, are you?”

“No.”

He might have a point. But the guilt she'd been carrying around since her parent's death was a heavy, palpable thing, and it had been with her so long that it seemed a part of her. She couldn't shrug it off just because Will told her she deserved happiness.

“I will think about what you said.”

“Good.”

“In the meantime, promise you won't give up on me?”

He chuckled. “Never even crossed my mind.”

 

Chapter
THIRTY-NINE

 

Will traveled back to London in the coach with Meg. Normally, he'd have preferred to ride horseback and feel the wind on his face, but her company made the close quarters of the cab more than tolerable.

Proving what a damned lovesick fool he was.

As they approached London, he reached between them and squeezed her hand. “Would you like me to take you home?”

“No!” she said. “You promised I could go to Lila's and help look for clues to the identity of her lover.”

He raised a hand in mock defense. “I only thought you might like to change or let your sisters know you're safe.”

She shot him an apologetic smile. “I don't need anything, and my sisters won't worry. I'll send word to them this afternoon.”

“Very well. I told the driver I want to stop at Castleton House briefly, to see if we've received any messages related to the twins.”

He was thinking about Marina, and wondering if the mysterious man had approached her again. Will suspected he had something to do with this. He considered telling Meg about him, but decided against it. She was worried enough as it was.

“A good idea.” Meg's forehead creased as she looked out the window.

“You're not going to find them roaming the streets, you know,” he said.

She frowned at him. “I hope not … but it cannot hurt to look.”

Half an hour later, they finally arrived at Will's house. The coach had barely rolled to a stop when Gibson sprinted down the steps, moving faster than Will had ever seen.

Throwing open the cab door, he leaped to the ground. “What's the hell's gotten into you, Gibson?”

“It's the twins, my lord,” he said, gasping for air.

Jesus. Dread turned his veins to ice. “What have you learned?”

“They're here,” said the butler. “And they're fine.”

“What? Thank God!” Meg scooped up Molly and jumped out of the coach into Will's arms. He lowered her to the ground, grabbed her hand, and together they sprinted toward the front door.

“They're in the nursery,” Mrs. Lundy cried as his boots slid across the foyer's tiles, “with Mrs. Hopwood!”

They dashed down the corridor and up the staircase. Will was tempted to take the steps two at a time but wouldn't dream of leaving Meg behind—as if she'd let him. “Are you all right?” he asked her over his shoulder.

“I just need to see them with my own eyes,” she said in a trembling voice. “Then I'll believe it's true.”

“Miss Lacey? Lord Castleton?”

Will recognized the slightly raspy voice. “We're here, Diana!”

Both girls tore out of the nursery and met them on the landing. The moment Will's knees hit the floor, he was smothered in sloppy hugs. He scooped the girls up, one in each arm and presented them to Meg, who embraced all three of them.

“We were so worried about you two,” she said through her tears.

“Why are you crying?” Valerie asked.

“Because she's so happy to see you,” Will said. “We both are.”

Mrs. Hopwood emerged from the nursery as well, smiling at the reunion. Will had scores of questions for her and the girls but didn't think it wise to launch into an interrogation. Not right away, at least.

“Here's Molly.” Meg handed the doll to Valerie. “I thought you might have missed her.”

“I did.” The girl squeezed her eyes shut as she clutched the doll to her chest. “But I missed you more.”

“Oh, Valerie.” Meg turned into a watering pot, and Will laughed.

“We missed you, too, Lord Castleton,” Diana assured him, melting his heart a little.

Before he knew what he was saying, he blurted, “Maybe you should call me something else—like Uncle Will.”

“Really?” Diana squealed.

Valerie hugged him tighter. “You're not angry with us?” she asked.

“No, darling,” Meg said firmly. “Why would we be?”

“We ran away from the orphanage.” Diana's voice held a hint of defiance, reminding him of a certain someone else he knew. He and Meg exchanged a look.

“How did you come to be at an orphanage?” he asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

“Mama took us there,” Valerie said softly. “She said she'd come back for us after a while…”

“But I didn't believe her,” Diana said. “After two nights in that awful place, we couldn't stand it any longer. So we managed to sneak out of the dining hall and onto the street just before breakfast. We ran around the corner and hailed a hackney cab.”

“You hailed a cab all by yourselves?” Meg asked, incredulous.

“I told the driver that we were going to see the Earl of Castleton, and then I gave him the address,” Diana said proudly. “I know it by heart.”

“Well done,” Will said. “How did you pay the fare?”

She blushed a little. “I told him you'd pay and that you'd tip handsomely.”

Will laughed at that. “I certainly would have. I assume Gibson saw to it?”

“Yes, Mr. Gibson paid the driver with his own money and said he was happy to do it,” Diana said, beaming.

“You did the right thing,” Meg said to them both. “You're not hurt, are you?”

“No.” Valerie shook her head. “But we had to leave all our beautiful new dresses and things behind. We were afraid if we tried to take them with us, someone would know we were running away.”

“Do not worry,” Will said. “I'll retrieve them for you. And if anything is lost, we'll simply replace it. As long as the two of you are safe, nothing else matters.”

“That's what I told them, too,” Mrs. Hopwood said.

“You'll be living with me from now on,” Will told them, just to be sure there was no confusion. “And I'm very glad about that.”

He knew it would take them some time to come to grips with what their mother had done, but he hoped they were young enough that the memories would fade over time … and be replaced with happier ones.

As if echoing his thoughts, Valerie piped up, “Will Miss Lacey be staying with us, too?”

Meg swallowed. “I … I won't live here, as I did before, but I promise to visit often. And you may visit me anytime you like.”

The twins' faces fell. Will's stomach sank as well, but he pasted on a smile for the girls' sake. “I'll take you to visit Miss Lacey as often as you wish. But right now,” he said, “I think we should celebrate the fact that we are all back together.”

“How?” the girls cried.

“By making a trip to the kitchen and seeing if we can convince Cook to spoil us.”

“Hooray!”

“Why don't I take them down,” Meg offered smoothly, “while you chat with Mrs. Hopwood? You can join us shortly.”

Carefully, he set the twins on the ground, oddly reluctant to let them go. “Yes, run along with Miss Lacey,” he said.

Once they were out of earshot, he turned to Mrs. Hopwood. “Were you able to learn anything from the girls?”

The older woman frowned. “When their mother left them at the orphanage, she gave no hint as to where she was going. She simply said she was sorry to leave them, but that she'd received an offer she couldn't refuse.”

Interesting. “Where was the orphanage?” He presumed there was more than one in London and felt somewhat ashamed that he didn't know for certain.

“Mr. Gibson said the hackney driver came from Whitechapel. There's a foundling home for girls there.” She shuddered. “Terrible places, orphanages.”

“I promise you that Diana and Valerie will never see the inside of one again.”

“Thank heaven.” The nanny pressed a hand to her chest.

“I'm sorry you were involved in this and very grateful that you and the girls are unharmed. I do hope you'll stay on with us, in my employ.”

“Of course I will. Trying to keep up with the wee ones is what keeps me young.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but pressed her lips firmly together.

“What is it, Mrs. Hopwood? Please, I'd like you to feel free to speak your mind.”

“It's none of my business,” she began, “but I do hope you'll be able to convince Miss Lacey to stay. Not because I need someone to share the responsibilities with, but because I think Diana and Valerie need her. And I suspect she needs them as well.”

“Never fear,” Will said with significantly more confidence than he felt. “I'm working on it.”