My Broken Soldier (Love Conquers Life Book 2) (4 page)

My lip instantly quivers. All I can manage to say to her is, “I’m so worried about him.”

“I know. Shh, I’ll stay with you.”

We sit on the couch for god knows how long. She rocks me as I try to tell her about what happened today. One of the things I realize as I’m telling her the story is how worried I am about him.

“I love him,” I say. “I didn’t mean to hurt him yesterday.”

“Oh honey, I know you do and there is nothing wrong with that. We’ll help him, and then he’ll realize you didn’t mean to hurt him. Derek has been there himself, and he’s helped others in this situation. I promise we will get him through this.”

I nod and thank her for being so supportive. I fill her in on my conversation with my mother and how upset I am that she would do this to us, all because she wants me with a man that I want nothing to do with.

My phone rings, and I jump. I answer immediately when I see who it is.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Patty. It’s Derek.”

“Please tell me you have some good news.”

“Well, I’m not on the approved list for his apartment, and since he wouldn’t answer the phone they wouldn’t let me up, but I had his parents' info for work purposes so I called them and they have a spare key. They went to check on him and he was still dressed, out cold on his bed. He smells of booze and vomit, but there was no sign of it anywhere so he was aware enough to go to the bathroom and that’s a good thing.”

“So what do we do?” I ask, concerned.

“Well, his parents don’t want to upset him too much by staying there because that could make it worse. We’re going to let him sleep it off and see what happens tomorrow. I’ll call him in the morning to see if he’s coming in. If he doesn’t answer the phone, his parents and I are going to go there, and if he’s still a mess we are going to drag him in for help, kind of like an early intervention. I’ll let you know where he is so you can visit.”

“Thanks, Derek. I really appreciate you helping him.”

“That’s what we are here for. Try to get some sleep and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Tell Bella I’ll call her as soon as I can.”

“I will. Have a good night.”

“You too,” he says, and then he cuts the call.

I relay the message to Bella and tell her that I’m going to take a bath and lay down. Before leaving to go home, she gives me one last hug and tells me to call her if I need anything.

Chapter 4

Carter

What the fuck is that noise? Oh shit. I jump up from my bunk as another round of gunfire explodes around me.

Brody is screaming, “Carter, take cover.”

I roll off my bunk and low crawl over to the sandbags, where the rest of my team is hiding out. We pop up to take a few shots and see guys dropping right in front of us. There’s a sniper on the hill somewhere, so I tell Brody to grab his night scope and take him out. The rest of the team and I start picking off guys while Brody sets himself up. He spots the flash from his muzzle as one of our guys goes down.

“Fuck, we lost another one,” he says. As I’m about to start taking shots to pick off the guys attacking our makeshift camp, Brody takes his shot and nails the sniper dead-on.

“Way to go, Brody.”

All is quiet, so Brody uses his night scope to scan the area when suddenly there’s a weird ringing around us. I’m looking around, praying it isn’t a bomb about to go off. The sound stops as quickly as it came.

Brody says, “Don’t move.”

He starts looking around for the source of the noise. A minute later, it starts again but this time it scares me.

I jump up and realize I’m in my own bed and sweating from another nightmare.

I roll out of bed with a massive headache. I feel dizzy. I stumble into the bathroom, going for the medicine cabinet to find some aspirin. Once I find it, I amble to the kitchen to get a drink, leaning on the wall for support as I go. I open the fridge and spot the water, but I know the beer will kill the headache faster. Just as I reach for it, my phone rings.

“Hello?” My voice is groggy and slurred.

“Dude, where the fuck are you?” Derek practically screams into the phone.

I pull the phone from my ear, which now hurts because of him. I look at the clock. It’s nearly eleven already, and I just woke up. I roll my eyes. “Dude, I’m still sick,” I try to say with a straight voice.

“You’re not sick. You’re hungover. I can hear it in your voice. I tried to go to your house yesterday after you fucking screamed at Patty, but because you wouldn’t answer the phone they wouldn’t let me up.”

“What? Patty was here?” Shit. I look to the floor as I try to remember what happened.

“Yes, she was there. You fucking screamed at her because she wanted to talk to you about what happened Saturday night. She called me, upset that you were drunk. She’s worried about you, and I am too. I’m on my way over. We need to talk.”

“No! Don’t come here. I’ll get my shit together. Give me the day.”

He groans into the phone. “Listen, man. I understand what you’re going through. I’ll give you the day, but I’m coming to check on you after work. If you don’t have your shit together, I’m going to kick your ass.”

As he’s saying this, I’m chugging a beer.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say, not giving a fuck because if I don’t answer, he can’t come up anyway. I finish the beer in my hand and grab another one.

“Dude…”

I cut the call. I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I crack open the next beer and stroll off to the shower.
I start the water, and while it warms up, I try like hell to remember what happened between Patty and I yesterday, but I don’t remember even seeing her. That’s what I wanted, though. I wanted to forget. That’s why I started drinking in the first place, to forget what happened with Patty, as well as the nightmares. These fucking nightmares are going to be the death of me.

I step into the hot stream of water to wash away the evidence of the rough day I had yesterday. When I step out of the shower, I look into the mirror. I look like hell. My eyes are sunken in, I haven’t shaved since Saturday evening, and I have no desire to deal with anything.

I walk out of the bathroom and put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt so I can walk to the store up the street. I need to pick up a few things.
I pull on a sweatshirt and my jacket and walk out the door, not even caring to lock it. I walk down to the lobby and past the doorman with my head down. I don’t even bother to say hi or goodbye to anyone I see along the way.

I walk straight to the store up the street and grab a bottle of bourbon and a bottle of scotch and then go straight to the counter to pay for the liquor. Tempted to open the bottles, I walk back to the house as quickly as I can. My mood lifts a little now that I have what I need in hand.

As I approach my building, I again look down with my hood on and say nothing to anyone as I walk into my building. The doorman tries to say good afternoon, but I ignore him and go back up to my apartment and then into the kitchen for a glass with some ice. I pour a glass of this beautiful golden liquid and take a sip as I close my eyes, enjoying the burn as it flows down my throat and into my stomach. I quickly drink some more, numbing the pain within me.

I get some bread and throw a quick ham and cheese sandwich together. I don’t even feel like eating because eating reminds me of cooking with Patty. Thinking about her makes me hurt even more. I miss her beautiful smile and her cute little laugh. She’s never going to want to talk to me again, especially if I yelled at her like Derek says I did. My life is fucked. I’ve lost Patty, and at this point I may lose my job. I down the remainder of my scotch, grunting at the burn.

I fill my glass and abandon my sandwich to figure out what to do. I know if I don’t do something soon, I’m going to be on Derek’s shit list and I don’t need him up my ass. I spot my journal and decide to start writing again. I sit with the book and my glass to start writing down my feelings toward Patty and how she makes my life better. After a few minutes, I have some things written, but I can’t write anymore. It hurts too much.

I slam the book shut and move into the living room. I down the remainder of my scotch as I sit on my couch and sob. I cry for the guys I’ve lost, for the nightmares I’m having, and for the loss of a girl I was falling in love with and no longer have. I’ve never felt like this for another woman and know I’ll never experience it again. I can’t blame her either. Who would want to be with a fuck up like me?

I’ve never cried like this in my life, and it pisses me off. I pace the living room, so mad that I can’t gain the control I need to fix this. I throw my glass across the room and watch it shatter into a million pieces.

“Fuck!” I scream, walking into the kitchen with tears and snot all over my face. I clench the bottle of scotch in my hand and chug as much as I can handle prior to staggering into my bedroom, where I collapse on my bed.

***

There’s screaming all around me as bullets fly past us. I scream for the guys to take cover. As I scan the area I see Brody lying on the ground and all I can think about is getting to him. The trucks are lined up, trying to provide cover, but it’s not enough. We are outnumbered, and they’re shooting at us from up on the hill. I can hear him screaming my name as I run toward him.

“Stay down, Brody!”

My knees buckle. I hit the ground hard, but I know I have to get to him. Scanning the area for snipers, I jump back up and continue running toward him, panting and screaming in pain. The pain is fierce as I collapse to the ground by his side.

That’s when I see it. He’s been shot in the chest through and through, leaving a huge hole. I won’t let him know it though. I need him to fight for his life. I close my eyes in pain as I scream for a medic. They come running as I hold him on my lap and tell him he’s going to be okay.

“Stay with me, buddy.”

One medic is trying to save him while another starts working on my leg.

“This isn’t good, Carter,” he says, barely able to breathe.

“You’re fine. You keep those eyes open and fight, soldier. Do you hear me? You fight,” I yell at him as he’s lying in a pool of his own blood.

Another medic joins us and tries to stop the bleeding, but it’s no good. He’s losing too much. I can hear a chopper in the distance. “Hang on, buddy. Our ride’s almost here.”

He hiccups and whispers to me, “You stay strong and get our boys home safe.”

He closes his eyes and releases his final breath.

He’s gone.

I scream, “No, Brody! Come back, damn it!”

I jump up from my bed, my clothes covered in sweat. I run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I sit there for a moment, heaving as nothing else comes up. I stand in front of the sink and splash some water on my face before going back into my room.

Spotting the bottle by my bed, I grab it and start to chug it down. That’s when I hear the door to my apartment open. When I walk out to see who the fuck is coming into my house, I find my parents and Derek. Suddenly I’m full of shame for not reaching out to them. My mother gasps at how she finds me.

“Leave me be. You don’t need to see me like this,” I mumble with my head down. I walk back to my room, not wanting to face them.

“At ease, soldier,” My boss says, and because he outranks me I freeze and turn around like the good soldier I am. “I gave you the day, like I promised. Now it’s time for an intervention. You’re coming with us.”

“I’m not going anywhere but back to bed.”

“You can sleep at the hospital. We’re going to get you clean so you can fix things with Patty or you may ruin this relationship permanently. Right now she still cares and is worried about you. Why, I don’t know since you treated her like shit.”

“Fuck you, man. I don’t need your shit.”

“Oh, but you do. I’m the one thing standing between you and your job, and if you lose your job, you lose your home. You know what that will lead to, right? You’ve already started helping a few soldiers in that boat. Don’t become one of them.”

I bow my head because I know he’s right, but I don’t know how to fix this and it’s easier to numb the pain than to fight and face it.

“Your father and I are prepared to carry you out if we have to.”

“Fine, let me go change my clothes,” I say, walking away with my bottle in hand. I continue to drink it while I get dressed. There isn’t much left to the bottle, and I want to finish it off since I’ll soon be facing my pain. When I bend over to tie my shoes, I lose my balance and hit the floor. All I remember is seeing three sets of feet run into the room before I black out.

***

Patty

I’ve been trying all day to focus on writing, but it’s been totally useless. I can’t seem to stop worrying about Carter. I tried to read to clear my head, but it’s of no use. I’ve been waiting to hear from Derek, and not hearing anything is driving me crazy. The last update was that he spoke to Carter this morning. Carter promised him he would get his shit together and be at work tomorrow. Derek told me he was going to Carter’s apartment after work to check on him, and he promised to call me and let me know how it went.

It’s now six, and I still haven’t heard anything. I need to try and eat something. I haven’t eaten much all day. I make some scrambled egg whites with toast and sausage. I’m hoping a good, filling meal will make me feel better.

I sit at the snack bar with my dinner and then open my laptop to check out my Facebook page. I’m hoping to find a distraction. While I try to eat, I read various posts and comment on a few things. That’s when I see my book group had a few new book recommendations. I download them to my e-reader. My dinner is delicious, but my stomach is upset because I haven’t been able to eat well since Saturday night. I force myself to finish my eggs and toast, but I ditch the sausage. As I’m about to put my plate in the dishwasher, my phone rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Patty. It’s Bella.” I can hear the concern in her voice.

“What’s wrong, Bella?”

“I just got off the phone with Derek. He and Carter’s parents found him hammered in his apartment. It wasn’t good. They are on the way to the hospital with him.”

“Wait, why is he going to the hospital?”

“He passed out and fell to the ground. They were worried because he hit his head, and since he blacked out, they called 911. The ambulance came. Mia road with him, and the guys are following behind the ambulance. I’m downstairs, waiting. Come on, I’ll take you over.”

“I’m on my way down.” I snag my coat and purse and run down to her waiting car. I need to see that he’s okay, and I need him to know I’m there.

Once I’m in her car she says, “He’ll be okay, but him seeing you still care may help him through this. Derek told him that he screamed at you and that you left upset, but he had no recollection of it. He may think you don’t care anymore and that’s making it harder for him to clean up his act.”

I take a deep breath, taking in all she’s telling me. “I hope it’ll help him. I really want to see him better. I know we can have something special, but I need him to be better first. I need to know that he isn’t going to keep going down this road, because I don’t know if I can do this again.”